Hi ladies,
Wanted some feedback from others who have either been through the infertility route themselves or a daughter/sister, etc...
My 30 yr old pediatric nurse practitioner daughter and her atty husband have been married for 5 years and wanted to wait until schooling was done, house was bought, trips were taken and jobs were secured before they started a family...and as luck would have it, pregnancy is alluding them....it's been probably since April of this year and my heart breaks as they are constantly bombarded by "Soooo, when are you two going to get busy......" and especially so after her younger sister just gave birth to our 1st grandbaby girl in July....
My daughter is a very, very private person with this matter and we haven't actually talked about it but she has spoken with her sister and dropped little comments that point to their struggle to get pregnant....
Do I sit her down and tell her we understand and let her have a good cry? She is a stoic/driven/pefectionist and this flies in the face of all her endeavors for sure....
And as it would be, these two wouuld make fabulous parents...
I'm tearing up as I write this.,....here's a mom who got pregant when hubbie LOOKED at me and my daughters struggles so...
Any thoughts ladies of how mom makes a very sad daughter feel better????
As always, xoxoxoxox MomZ
Full Version: Daughter trying to get pregant..what can mom say
You sound like a very caring Mom....
My hub and I waited til we checked off lots of things before trying to get pregnant too--we were married five years before trying. People would often ask me, "so are you pregnant yet?", or as my husband's grandmother said "When are you going to finally make the marriage productive?" We did go on to have two kids, but I remember that time well...
I of course don't know you and your daughter, but I think you may want to wait for her to bring it up if she chooses. Or you could ask very open ended questions about "How are things going with you?" and see if she uses it as a chance to broach the subject. This advice is just based on what I wanted to hear when I was trying.
I always read that it takes a year of trying the good old fashioned way before doctors consider a couple may need testing or assistance. Where she is a medical professional she probably understands this, though I am sure it is frustrating and upsetting if she is very anxious to become a mom right away. And 30 is still young enough that she has plenty of time to explore medical options successfully if it comes to that....
Wishing her the best.....
My guess is that she would love to open up to you, and share her thoughts but just doesn't know how.
Yes...sit her down and open the window for a conversation!
Good Luck!!
XOXOXOXOXOX
Yes...sit her down and open the window for a conversation!
Good Luck!!
XOXOXOXOXOX
I read in my"Susan Weeds"meno book clover is a major fertility booster.It makes sense because thats whats in a lot of natural HRT suppliments.I understand her pain it was 6yrs between my first and second then my third came a few years later.
My daughter had a miscarrage(8wks) last saturday, they had been trying for 2 years. I felt bad because she had been so worried and phoning me every day asking me questions and I was telling her everthing would be ok then her worse fear happened 
The fact I had 8 with no problems doesn't help 
The fact I had 8 with no problems doesn't help
Hi Momz!
I'd like to contribute some hopefully encouraging comments to your question. I had extensive experience with infertility. Had surgeries, invasive and sometimes embarrassing tests, fertility drugs, taking my temperature every morning, had sex on schedule and had three miscarriages along the way when I DID get pregnant. However, my husband and I were also blessed with three healthy, beautiful children in between all that turmoil. My children are now grown but I remember well the disappointment each month I had a period and the heartache of losing babies I hoped for so much. All I can say is that the more she worries about it, the harder it will be for them. There is something to be said for the advice to relax and it will happen. After having two Clomid babies we decided not to go the drug route again and just let nature take it's course. At 36 I became pregnant quite accidently but miscarried some months into my pregnancy. Just 8 weeks later I learned that I was 3 weeks pregnant with my now 19 year old son. Neither pregnancy was planned and thus a huge surprise ( I thought I had the flu!). My children are each roughly 5 years apart so it's been a challenge in some ways but God works in mysterious ways. I feel so blessed to have them even though it wasn't an easy road. My gut tells me that your daughter would welcome your interest as long as it's not perceived as pressure. Reassurance always felt good to me and all those kind words and encouragement offered to me so many years ago came true in the end. Your daughter is young enough to give it a bit more time to relax before going the fertility drug route. I hope and pray she will get a lovely surprise soon. Best wishes to them.
xoxo
Jan
I'd like to contribute some hopefully encouraging comments to your question. I had extensive experience with infertility. Had surgeries, invasive and sometimes embarrassing tests, fertility drugs, taking my temperature every morning, had sex on schedule and had three miscarriages along the way when I DID get pregnant. However, my husband and I were also blessed with three healthy, beautiful children in between all that turmoil. My children are now grown but I remember well the disappointment each month I had a period and the heartache of losing babies I hoped for so much. All I can say is that the more she worries about it, the harder it will be for them. There is something to be said for the advice to relax and it will happen. After having two Clomid babies we decided not to go the drug route again and just let nature take it's course. At 36 I became pregnant quite accidently but miscarried some months into my pregnancy. Just 8 weeks later I learned that I was 3 weeks pregnant with my now 19 year old son. Neither pregnancy was planned and thus a huge surprise ( I thought I had the flu!). My children are each roughly 5 years apart so it's been a challenge in some ways but God works in mysterious ways. I feel so blessed to have them even though it wasn't an easy road. My gut tells me that your daughter would welcome your interest as long as it's not perceived as pressure. Reassurance always felt good to me and all those kind words and encouragement offered to me so many years ago came true in the end. Your daughter is young enough to give it a bit more time to relax before going the fertility drug route. I hope and pray she will get a lovely surprise soon. Best wishes to them.
xoxo
Jan
My daughter in law had the same problem. They went thru a lot...taking meds & etc. I suggested progesterone. Of course this was discouned....until her last doc put her one it. Guess what? We have a new baby.
Here is an excert is from Raquel Martin's book,
The Estrogen Alternative. (It is posted on her site...)
Infertility & Progesterone
Increasingly in the area of fertility therapy, medical doctors are concentrating on prescribing more natural substances for women. It would be wise to try to locate one in your area who will work with you and understand your needs when it comes to natural hormone replacement therapy. A case in point: natural progesterone for conception. Although under ideal conditions it sometimes works as a contraceptive, progesterone is also, conversely, used in some fertility clinics.
Jerome Check, M.D., an infertility specialist and professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Thomas Jefferson University and Hahnemann University, says that "too often physicians will treat the infertility problem with strong medication or even surgery without checking progesterone levels first...But for many women, progesterone therapy has been very effective in helping them to become pregnant and to carry the child to term. Only after this treatment in tried should more drastic procedures be considered."
An adequate amount of progesterone is crucial to a woman who is trying to become pregnant. It actually prepares the uterine wall for implantation of the fertilized egg. Without sufficient progesterone, the egg will be expelled. Progesterone treatment can also be used to induce fertility when there appears to be ovulatory dysfunction. A study was performed involving fifty women who had lived with infertility for a minimum of one-and-a-half years. Seventy percent of the women conceived within six months while exclusively using progesterone therapy, reports Dr. Check. The Efficacy of Progesterone in Achieving Successful Pregnancy describes this group:
Five patients had a history of previous spontaneous abortions; all others had primary infertility. The range of ages was 18 to 39, with an average of 31. Their average period of infertility was 2.8 years in the 35 patients who conceived, and 2.7 years for the entire group.
From all the data it seems clear that natural progesterone therapy offers no risks to the patient and will be likely to benefit those wishing to conceive. Additional reports indicate that without progesterone treatment, women with luteal phase defect are at very high risk for spontaneous abortion. Progesterone has been found to be important in maintaining a pregnancy during the early months.
Hope this helps,
Shebee
Here is an excert is from Raquel Martin's book,
The Estrogen Alternative. (It is posted on her site...)
Infertility & Progesterone
Increasingly in the area of fertility therapy, medical doctors are concentrating on prescribing more natural substances for women. It would be wise to try to locate one in your area who will work with you and understand your needs when it comes to natural hormone replacement therapy. A case in point: natural progesterone for conception. Although under ideal conditions it sometimes works as a contraceptive, progesterone is also, conversely, used in some fertility clinics.
Jerome Check, M.D., an infertility specialist and professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Thomas Jefferson University and Hahnemann University, says that "too often physicians will treat the infertility problem with strong medication or even surgery without checking progesterone levels first...But for many women, progesterone therapy has been very effective in helping them to become pregnant and to carry the child to term. Only after this treatment in tried should more drastic procedures be considered."
An adequate amount of progesterone is crucial to a woman who is trying to become pregnant. It actually prepares the uterine wall for implantation of the fertilized egg. Without sufficient progesterone, the egg will be expelled. Progesterone treatment can also be used to induce fertility when there appears to be ovulatory dysfunction. A study was performed involving fifty women who had lived with infertility for a minimum of one-and-a-half years. Seventy percent of the women conceived within six months while exclusively using progesterone therapy, reports Dr. Check. The Efficacy of Progesterone in Achieving Successful Pregnancy describes this group:
Five patients had a history of previous spontaneous abortions; all others had primary infertility. The range of ages was 18 to 39, with an average of 31. Their average period of infertility was 2.8 years in the 35 patients who conceived, and 2.7 years for the entire group.
From all the data it seems clear that natural progesterone therapy offers no risks to the patient and will be likely to benefit those wishing to conceive. Additional reports indicate that without progesterone treatment, women with luteal phase defect are at very high risk for spontaneous abortion. Progesterone has been found to be important in maintaining a pregnancy during the early months.
Hope this helps,
Shebee
QUOTE (Shebee @ Oct 16 2009, 11:06 AM) 
My daughter in law had the same problem. They went thru a lot...taking meds & etc. I suggested progesterone. Of course this was discouned....until her last doc put her one it. Guess what? We have a new baby.
Here is an excert is from Raquel Martin's book,
The Estrogen Alternative. (It is posted on her site...)
Infertility & Progesterone
Increasingly in the area of fertility therapy, medical doctors are concentrating on prescribing more natural substances for women. It would be wise to try to locate one in your area who will work with you and understand your needs when it comes to natural hormone replacement therapy. A case in point: natural progesterone for conception. Although under ideal conditions it sometimes works as a contraceptive, progesterone is also, conversely, used in some fertility clinics.
Jerome Check, M.D., an infertility specialist and professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Thomas Jefferson University and Hahnemann University, says that "too often physicians will treat the infertility problem with strong medication or even surgery without checking progesterone levels first...But for many women, progesterone therapy has been very effective in helping them to become pregnant and to carry the child to term. Only after this treatment in tried should more drastic procedures be considered."
An adequate amount of progesterone is crucial to a woman who is trying to become pregnant. It actually prepares the uterine wall for implantation of the fertilized egg. Without sufficient progesterone, the egg will be expelled. Progesterone treatment can also be used to induce fertility when there appears to be ovulatory dysfunction. A study was performed involving fifty women who had lived with infertility for a minimum of one-and-a-half years. Seventy percent of the women conceived within six months while exclusively using progesterone therapy, reports Dr. Check. The Efficacy of Progesterone in Achieving Successful Pregnancy describes this group:
Five patients had a history of previous spontaneous abortions; all others had primary infertility. The range of ages was 18 to 39, with an average of 31. Their average period of infertility was 2.8 years in the 35 patients who conceived, and 2.7 years for the entire group.
From all the data it seems clear that natural progesterone therapy offers no risks to the patient and will be likely to benefit those wishing to conceive. Additional reports indicate that without progesterone treatment, women with luteal phase defect are at very high risk for spontaneous abortion. Progesterone has been found to be important in maintaining a pregnancy during the early months.
Hope this helps,
Shebee
Here is an excert is from Raquel Martin's book,
The Estrogen Alternative. (It is posted on her site...)
Infertility & Progesterone
Increasingly in the area of fertility therapy, medical doctors are concentrating on prescribing more natural substances for women. It would be wise to try to locate one in your area who will work with you and understand your needs when it comes to natural hormone replacement therapy. A case in point: natural progesterone for conception. Although under ideal conditions it sometimes works as a contraceptive, progesterone is also, conversely, used in some fertility clinics.
Jerome Check, M.D., an infertility specialist and professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Thomas Jefferson University and Hahnemann University, says that "too often physicians will treat the infertility problem with strong medication or even surgery without checking progesterone levels first...But for many women, progesterone therapy has been very effective in helping them to become pregnant and to carry the child to term. Only after this treatment in tried should more drastic procedures be considered."
An adequate amount of progesterone is crucial to a woman who is trying to become pregnant. It actually prepares the uterine wall for implantation of the fertilized egg. Without sufficient progesterone, the egg will be expelled. Progesterone treatment can also be used to induce fertility when there appears to be ovulatory dysfunction. A study was performed involving fifty women who had lived with infertility for a minimum of one-and-a-half years. Seventy percent of the women conceived within six months while exclusively using progesterone therapy, reports Dr. Check. The Efficacy of Progesterone in Achieving Successful Pregnancy describes this group:
Five patients had a history of previous spontaneous abortions; all others had primary infertility. The range of ages was 18 to 39, with an average of 31. Their average period of infertility was 2.8 years in the 35 patients who conceived, and 2.7 years for the entire group.
From all the data it seems clear that natural progesterone therapy offers no risks to the patient and will be likely to benefit those wishing to conceive. Additional reports indicate that without progesterone treatment, women with luteal phase defect are at very high risk for spontaneous abortion. Progesterone has been found to be important in maintaining a pregnancy during the early months.
Hope this helps,
Shebee
Very informative Shebee! Now I wonder if this might have been my problem all those years. I ovulated, had no "structural" abnormalities and evidently was doing "everything right" but I had a devil of a time getting pregnant and when I did, had a hard time staying that way. The three miscarriages I count were confirmed pregnancies but there were other "suspected" ones that had not yet been confirmed. Just thinking that maybe this might have been something that could have been corrected so easily makes me a little sad. Sounds like Momz' daughter should be checked out to make sure her progesterone level is sufficient. Good advice as usual Shebee.
xoxo
Jan
Thanks so much for all your replies ladies...as always, you came through! I've always been a better writer than talker when it comes to the difficult discussions so I think I will write her a letter just letting her know we care and see if the non-confronting manner works....as I said, she is a very private person (as am I) so bringing it up in person may make her retreat too much....
As it were, we have them living with us for a few weeks while they have some bathroom remodeling done so our time around each other is often as her work schedule is all over the map: straight 12 hr days mixed with an entire week off....
And after having her with us for less than a week, I can see she eats like a bird, is an exercise freak and is rail thin....always has been....and I read many times that that can have an effect on fertility....gotta get some meat on her bones!!!!
Thanks all again...I will take all suggestions under consideration...(:
From snowy and cold upstate NY is this going to be a longgggggggggggggggg winter....
Momz
As it were, we have them living with us for a few weeks while they have some bathroom remodeling done so our time around each other is often as her work schedule is all over the map: straight 12 hr days mixed with an entire week off....
And after having her with us for less than a week, I can see she eats like a bird, is an exercise freak and is rail thin....always has been....and I read many times that that can have an effect on fertility....gotta get some meat on her bones!!!!
Thanks all again...I will take all suggestions under consideration...(:
From snowy and cold upstate NY is this going to be a longgggggggggggggggg winter....
Momz
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