Hi everyone- I have been a member here for a while now and mostly active on the fatigue issues...
My dad had been diagnosed with bone cancer earlier in the summer. He went through radiation therapy and we all thought this would give him another year at least. Well he had been losing more and more weight and in so much pain even after the radiation. It was very difficult to see him like this and my mom was taking care of him day and night. We spent the summer driving back and forth to Maine from NH.
Finally we all decided he should go to a rehab facility and there he might be able to get his strength back. So they were wonderful there working with him for a few weeks and he just couldn't do it..he was so weak and tired and started declining rapidly. My husband and I spent Sept 16 and 17 ( our anniversary 32 years) with him and he even went to the dining area to have lunch for the first time. We gave him a pep talk and left feeling like he was on his way.
My mom called me the following monday and said he was going into hospice. The doctor decided there wasn't anything more they could do. WHAT...i had just been there and he looked pretty good or though I thought.
I wasn't suppose to go up until Friday the 25th after my doc appt but on Tuesday the 22nd I called my sister and said I think we should go up. She said ok and we drove up on the 23rd. By then dad couldn't open his eyes , or drink anything. He couldn't swallow so they were swabbing his mouth with a gel like liquid. I walked into that room totally unprepared for what I would see. I walked over to him and held his hand and talked to him. He could understand but barely respond. His lungs were rattling and he said he was thirsty. HEARTBREAKING
That night we finally left and I kissed him and said Love you. He said Love you too.
I got on the phone and called my sister and brother and said come tomorrow. It is not good.
So on the 24th my mom and two sisters went to the center. My dad was totally unresponsive and the rattle was very loud. I just burst out in tears and held him. We all said a prayer and within 45 minutes he was gone. I know he waited for all of us to be with him. He called us his angles all the time and he held on through the night for my other sister to arrive. My brother sadly did not make it. He was driving from NY.
It is the single most heartbreaking, devastating thing I have ever witnessed or been a part of but as hard as it was I wouldn't have wanted to have been anyplace else. Dad needed us to be there and we were. He needed us to say it was okay and I asked my grandma to please take care of him up there. I am thankful we were there with our mom and I am so thankful our last words to each other were "I Love You".
My heart is still in pieces and I am concentrating on remembering how loved he was and how much he cared about his family. He will be missed terribly and will always have a huge piece of my heart....
I am sorry this is so long but it helps to write..
Full Version: My Dad
My heart is breaking for you as I write this with tears rolling down my cheeks. I've lost both my Mom and dad within the last three years. Like you, we were very close and in the end, there was so much love between us. I still feel their love but I miss them more than I can say. I pray that you find comfort in your grief and know that the memories of your Dad will live in your heart forever. God bless you.
(((((seahorse)))))
i am so very sorry for your loss. i've been there (only it was my mother) so i certainly understand how you are feeling right now. by the way, in the days/mos to come, the emotions that come pouring out from seemingly nowhere might be a little overwhelming so be prepared and let yourself just be. we're here for you, to lift you in prayer and lend whatever support you need so please don't hesitate to come as often as needed!
love and hugs,
stephanie
i am so very sorry for your loss. i've been there (only it was my mother) so i certainly understand how you are feeling right now. by the way, in the days/mos to come, the emotions that come pouring out from seemingly nowhere might be a little overwhelming so be prepared and let yourself just be. we're here for you, to lift you in prayer and lend whatever support you need so please don't hesitate to come as often as needed!
love and hugs,
stephanie
Seahorse -I am in the process of going through this with my own dad (lung cancer).
(((Seahorse)))
(((Seahorse)))
Seahorse you are in my thoughts and in my prayers. One step in front of the other is the best you can do right now hon. xoxoxo
Oh, Seahorse, I am so sorry for your sorrow. Your post brought tears to my eyes too, and wish I could give you a big hug.
(((SEAHORSE)))
(((SEAHORSE)))
Seahorse I am so very sorry for your loss. I can see how this is tearing you apart. My prayers are with you and your family. God bless all of you. May your dad rest in eternal peace.
Donna
Donna
I'm so sorry. I wish there were words that could help you to heal but I don't know of any so I'll just pray you find comfort.
(((Hugs)))
(((Hugs)))
I am so very sorry for your loss - be gentle with yourself in your sorrow.
CIC
CIC
((((BIG HUGS)))) I lost my dad last year to stomach cancer....so i understand what ou're going through...my prayers are with you.
God bless you Seahorse........your grief is so plain to see from the post.
Even though I lost my Dad over 22 years ago now, I still miss him and think about him often.
Time is a healer though, hold on to those happy memories as you heal and talk about him often.
Warm Hugs
Caz
Even though I lost my Dad over 22 years ago now, I still miss him and think about him often.
Time is a healer though, hold on to those happy memories as you heal and talk about him often.
Warm Hugs
Caz
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers...I was doing okay today until I received two sympathy cards in the mail. They wrote such wonderful things about my dad the tears started flowing again.
My sister and I talk daily and that helps too since we were both with him.
My son is getting married in 2 weeks so I have to focus on that too. My dad was so excited about going down to NC to the wedding. I know he will be there looking down at us all and celebrating right along.
I just want to say spend lots of time with your parents if possible. My dad called weekly and we talked about all kinds of things. My parents spent alot of time visiting and going on trips with us. I have no regrets that way cause my family especially this past summer saw each other often. Plus they spent alot of time with the grandchildren so he will be very much remembered.
Hugs to you all...
Kim
My sister and I talk daily and that helps too since we were both with him.
My son is getting married in 2 weeks so I have to focus on that too. My dad was so excited about going down to NC to the wedding. I know he will be there looking down at us all and celebrating right along.
I just want to say spend lots of time with your parents if possible. My dad called weekly and we talked about all kinds of things. My parents spent alot of time visiting and going on trips with us. I have no regrets that way cause my family especially this past summer saw each other often. Plus they spent alot of time with the grandchildren so he will be very much remembered.
Hugs to you all...
Kim
(((((((((((seahorse)))))))))))))))
I just cry for you! I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
I just cry for you! I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
((((((((((((((((seahorse))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.
Seahorse my heart goes out to you. I was in the same situation 10 years ago with my dad, he did'nt have cancer it was congestive heart failure.My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Death is apart of the life cycle, but it is never easy. God bless you honey.
Rhonda P
Rhonda P
Seahorse.....I am so sorry to hear about your dad. It is nice that you were able to spend so much time with him; those memories will help. I am sorry for your loss.
Seahorse, my heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers. My father had stomach cancer and like your father passed much the same way. Take heart.. you will see him again someday.
I have been there and it is horrible. I am so sorry for your loss. If you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me. Joan
QUOTE (seahorse @ Oct 10 2009, 07:45 PM) 
My sister and I talk daily and that helps too since we were both with him.
My sister and I talked nearly everyday after my Dad passed and it really helped us both.We talked about the good,the bad and everything in between.For months and months,we spent hours talking about him,crying,comforting each other,and as the months passed,we talked less and less about him and now,we mention him with love.....you will get there too....
I am so sorry for your loss. You're post brought tears to my eyes as you described being with your dad. I will keep you in my prayers.
Sending lots of hugs your way...
jes
Sending lots of hugs your way...
jes
Oh ((((Kim))))) so sorry to hear about your Dad!
My MIL just went into hospice
My MIL just went into hospice
QUOTE (seahorse @ Oct 10 2009, 12:14 PM)
Hi everyone- I have been a member here for a while now and mostly active on the fatigue issues...
My dad had been diagnosed with bone cancer earlier in the summer. He went through radiation therapy and we all thought this would give him another year at least. Well he had been losing more and more weight and in so much pain even after the radiation. It was very difficult to see him like this and my mom was taking care of him day and night. We spent the summer driving back and forth to Maine from NH.
Finally we all decided he should go to a rehab facility and there he might be able to get his strength back. So they were wonderful there working with him for a few weeks and he just couldn't do it..he was so weak and tired and started declining rapidly. My husband and I spent Sept 16 and 17 ( our anniversary 32 years) with him and he even went to the dining area to have lunch for the first time. We gave him a pep talk and left feeling like he was on his way.
My mom called me the following monday and said he was going into hospice. The doctor decided there wasn't anything more they could do. WHAT...i had just been there and he looked pretty good or though I thought.
I wasn't suppose to go up until Friday the 25th after my doc appt but on Tuesday the 22nd I called my sister and said I think we should go up. She said ok and we drove up on the 23rd. By then dad couldn't open his eyes , or drink anything. He couldn't swallow so they were swabbing his mouth with a gel like liquid. I walked into that room totally unprepared for what I would see. I walked over to him and held his hand and talked to him. He could understand but barely respond. His lungs were rattling and he said he was thirsty. HEARTBREAKING
That night we finally left and I kissed him and said Love you. He said Love you too.
I got on the phone and called my sister and brother and said come tomorrow. It is not good.
So on the 24th my mom and two sisters went to the center. My dad was totally unresponsive and the rattle was very loud. I just burst out in tears and held him. We all said a prayer and within 45 minutes he was gone. I know he waited for all of us to be with him. He called us his angles all the time and he held on through the night for my other sister to arrive. My brother sadly did not make it. He was driving from NY.
It is the single most heartbreaking, devastating thing I have ever witnessed or been a part of but as hard as it was I wouldn't have wanted to have been anyplace else. Dad needed us to be there and we were. He needed us to say it was okay and I asked my grandma to please take care of him up there. I am thankful we were there with our mom and I am so thankful our last words to each other were "I Love You".
My heart is still in pieces and I am concentrating on remembering how loved he was and how much he cared about his family. He will be missed terribly and will always have a huge piece of my heart....
I am sorry this is so long but it helps to write..
My dad had been diagnosed with bone cancer earlier in the summer. He went through radiation therapy and we all thought this would give him another year at least. Well he had been losing more and more weight and in so much pain even after the radiation. It was very difficult to see him like this and my mom was taking care of him day and night. We spent the summer driving back and forth to Maine from NH.
Finally we all decided he should go to a rehab facility and there he might be able to get his strength back. So they were wonderful there working with him for a few weeks and he just couldn't do it..he was so weak and tired and started declining rapidly. My husband and I spent Sept 16 and 17 ( our anniversary 32 years) with him and he even went to the dining area to have lunch for the first time. We gave him a pep talk and left feeling like he was on his way.
My mom called me the following monday and said he was going into hospice. The doctor decided there wasn't anything more they could do. WHAT...i had just been there and he looked pretty good or though I thought.
I wasn't suppose to go up until Friday the 25th after my doc appt but on Tuesday the 22nd I called my sister and said I think we should go up. She said ok and we drove up on the 23rd. By then dad couldn't open his eyes , or drink anything. He couldn't swallow so they were swabbing his mouth with a gel like liquid. I walked into that room totally unprepared for what I would see. I walked over to him and held his hand and talked to him. He could understand but barely respond. His lungs were rattling and he said he was thirsty. HEARTBREAKING
That night we finally left and I kissed him and said Love you. He said Love you too.
I got on the phone and called my sister and brother and said come tomorrow. It is not good.
So on the 24th my mom and two sisters went to the center. My dad was totally unresponsive and the rattle was very loud. I just burst out in tears and held him. We all said a prayer and within 45 minutes he was gone. I know he waited for all of us to be with him. He called us his angles all the time and he held on through the night for my other sister to arrive. My brother sadly did not make it. He was driving from NY.
It is the single most heartbreaking, devastating thing I have ever witnessed or been a part of but as hard as it was I wouldn't have wanted to have been anyplace else. Dad needed us to be there and we were. He needed us to say it was okay and I asked my grandma to please take care of him up there. I am thankful we were there with our mom and I am so thankful our last words to each other were "I Love You".
My heart is still in pieces and I am concentrating on remembering how loved he was and how much he cared about his family. He will be missed terribly and will always have a huge piece of my heart....
I am sorry this is so long but it helps to write..
OH Seahorse,,,,I am so so sorry ..... I have lived through the deaths of so many friends and relatives, and the pain and grief is so deep, a grief that could never be described with words ..... only felt. Your father will live on in you .... he is still there...........
Seahorse, so sorry for your loss. Your post brought tears to my eyes, what a wonderful and close family. You will all be a great comfort to each other in the days to come. I will keep you in my prayers.
((((((Seahorse)))))))))
My heart goes out to you and to your family. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Grief is a powerful emotion that has its own energy and rhythm. Do whatever you can to allow yourself to grief and also, to celebrate the beautiful like your dad had. I truly believe that "the best" in all of us lives on after we have left this life. Even with your posting, your dad is impacting us as readers.
Take good care of yourself and give yourself all the time you need. Hugs, Kathleent
My heart goes out to you and to your family. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Grief is a powerful emotion that has its own energy and rhythm. Do whatever you can to allow yourself to grief and also, to celebrate the beautiful like your dad had. I truly believe that "the best" in all of us lives on after we have left this life. Even with your posting, your dad is impacting us as readers.
Take good care of yourself and give yourself all the time you need. Hugs, Kathleent
QUOTE (seahorse @ Oct 10 2009, 12:14 PM)
Hi everyone- I have been a member here for a while now and mostly active on the fatigue issues...
My dad had been diagnosed with bone cancer earlier in the summer. He went through radiation therapy and we all thought this would give him another year at least. Well he had been losing more and more weight and in so much pain even after the radiation. It was very difficult to see him like this and my mom was taking care of him day and night. We spent the summer driving back and forth to Maine from NH.
Finally we all decided he should go to a rehab facility and there he might be able to get his strength back. So they were wonderful there working with him for a few weeks and he just couldn't do it..he was so weak and tired and started declining rapidly. My husband and I spent Sept 16 and 17 ( our anniversary 32 years) with him and he even went to the dining area to have lunch for the first time. We gave him a pep talk and left feeling like he was on his way.
My mom called me the following monday and said he was going into hospice. The doctor decided there wasn't anything more they could do. WHAT...i had just been there and he looked pretty good or though I thought.
I wasn't suppose to go up until Friday the 25th after my doc appt but on Tuesday the 22nd I called my sister and said I think we should go up. She said ok and we drove up on the 23rd. By then dad couldn't open his eyes , or drink anything. He couldn't swallow so they were swabbing his mouth with a gel like liquid. I walked into that room totally unprepared for what I would see. I walked over to him and held his hand and talked to him. He could understand but barely respond. His lungs were rattling and he said he was thirsty. HEARTBREAKING
That night we finally left and I kissed him and said Love you. He said Love you too.
I got on the phone and called my sister and brother and said come tomorrow. It is not good.
So on the 24th my mom and two sisters went to the center. My dad was totally unresponsive and the rattle was very loud. I just burst out in tears and held him. We all said a prayer and within 45 minutes he was gone. I know he waited for all of us to be with him. He called us his angles all the time and he held on through the night for my other sister to arrive. My brother sadly did not make it. He was driving from NY.
It is the single most heartbreaking, devastating thing I have ever witnessed or been a part of but as hard as it was I wouldn't have wanted to have been anyplace else. wDad needed us to be there and we were. He needed us to say it was okay and I asked my grandma to please take care of him up there. I am thankful we were there with our mom and I am so thankful our last words to each other were "I Love You".
My heart is still in pieces and I am concentrating on remembering how loved he was and how much he cared about his family. He will be missed terribly and will always have a huge piece of my heart....
I am sorry this is so long but it helps to write..
My dad had been diagnosed with bone cancer earlier in the summer. He went through radiation therapy and we all thought this would give him another year at least. Well he had been losing more and more weight and in so much pain even after the radiation. It was very difficult to see him like this and my mom was taking care of him day and night. We spent the summer driving back and forth to Maine from NH.
Finally we all decided he should go to a rehab facility and there he might be able to get his strength back. So they were wonderful there working with him for a few weeks and he just couldn't do it..he was so weak and tired and started declining rapidly. My husband and I spent Sept 16 and 17 ( our anniversary 32 years) with him and he even went to the dining area to have lunch for the first time. We gave him a pep talk and left feeling like he was on his way.
My mom called me the following monday and said he was going into hospice. The doctor decided there wasn't anything more they could do. WHAT...i had just been there and he looked pretty good or though I thought.
I wasn't suppose to go up until Friday the 25th after my doc appt but on Tuesday the 22nd I called my sister and said I think we should go up. She said ok and we drove up on the 23rd. By then dad couldn't open his eyes , or drink anything. He couldn't swallow so they were swabbing his mouth with a gel like liquid. I walked into that room totally unprepared for what I would see. I walked over to him and held his hand and talked to him. He could understand but barely respond. His lungs were rattling and he said he was thirsty. HEARTBREAKING
That night we finally left and I kissed him and said Love you. He said Love you too.
I got on the phone and called my sister and brother and said come tomorrow. It is not good.
So on the 24th my mom and two sisters went to the center. My dad was totally unresponsive and the rattle was very loud. I just burst out in tears and held him. We all said a prayer and within 45 minutes he was gone. I know he waited for all of us to be with him. He called us his angles all the time and he held on through the night for my other sister to arrive. My brother sadly did not make it. He was driving from NY.
It is the single most heartbreaking, devastating thing I have ever witnessed or been a part of but as hard as it was I wouldn't have wanted to have been anyplace else. wDad needed us to be there and we were. He needed us to say it was okay and I asked my grandma to please take care of him up there. I am thankful we were there with our mom and I am so thankful our last words to each other were "I Love You".
My heart is still in pieces and I am concentrating on remembering how loved he was and how much he cared about his family. He will be missed terribly and will always have a huge piece of my heart....
I am sorry this is so long but it helps to write..
i went thru it all, i cannot respond yet have so much emotions tied to the end, i could write a mini-novel of the hurt and turn-abouts that you just explained......it's just been 4 months and the last that i saw of a great man, haunts me, simply haunts me, i don't have the lever, so to speak, of thinking of the "good ol times", excuse me world, my heart was taken, every single step, i'm still in the grieving stage, and i could not stop the ongoing process, yet many questions are left! YES, no one understands the heartbreak until they have to go thru it, and I AM NOT DONE OR SATISFIED WITH MY DAD'S DEMISE, i was left very much alone with the entire situation, yet, that does not matter either,, their were decisions made, without my approval, i loved him more than life, lingering questions unanswered and missing him terribly........life can be very cruel when you love someone.
my big hug goes out to you.........
boo xoxoxoxoxo
(((((((((seahorse)))))))))
just seeing this now - i am so very sorry. it's so difficult & painful to lose our parents. i'm so glad that you were there for your dad & that you were able to convey your love. may you be surrounded & sustained by family, friends, faith, love, & memories in these grief filled days.
love, ellen
just seeing this now - i am so very sorry. it's so difficult & painful to lose our parents. i'm so glad that you were there for your dad & that you were able to convey your love. may you be surrounded & sustained by family, friends, faith, love, & memories in these grief filled days.
love, ellen
Seahorse - we were in the process of heading down to Florida to visit with Dad one last time, however on Oct. 18, he passed away before we got there.
Seahorse,
I have just found this now. I am so very sorry for your loss.
I lost both of my parents this way. Be gentle with yourself and take all the time you need to grieve and heal.
(((((Hugs))))),
Arla.
I have just found this now. I am so very sorry for your loss.
I lost both of my parents this way. Be gentle with yourself and take all the time you need to grieve and heal.
(((((Hugs))))),
Arla.
im so sorry for your loss, but heavens gain. he is at rest now , please know that.
it is not unusual for a dying person to get a burst of energy at the end ,almost to where you think "hey hes gonna hold on longer"
i beleive this a gift to let them say their good byes and leave in peace, some beleive that they get a glimpse
of where they are going and readily accept their fate, idk, hope your grief and sorrow will be but a short season !!
i beleive our loved ones wouldnt want us to hurt for too long !!
it is not unusual for a dying person to get a burst of energy at the end ,almost to where you think "hey hes gonna hold on longer"
i beleive this a gift to let them say their good byes and leave in peace, some beleive that they get a glimpse
of where they are going and readily accept their fate, idk, hope your grief and sorrow will be but a short season !!
i beleive our loved ones wouldnt want us to hurt for too long !!
I have just returned from my son's wedding in NC so I hadn't been on the board for a week or so. You are all so wonderful and kind to comment about my post regarding my dad...
It has helped me alot going through this grieving process and to know others have been there as well. I too am very much haunted by my dad's last days. He changed basically overnight and it was very shocking and sad because I had so much hope for him the week before. I think maybe I wasn't seeing what was actually happening because he was my dad and I wanted him to stay here with us. I think in time I will look past his final days and only remember/think of the wonderful times we had as a family.
I still cry daily when I think of something he said or did and how I want to talk with him again.
My entire family went down to NC for the wedding and it was a wonderful celebration. We had a toast to my dad and my brother wore the corsage that had been ordered for him. He would have loved being there but I know he was watching the joy and love we were celebrating.
I do want to add that about 2 weeks ago I was sleeping and heard a phone ringing..I answered it and it was my dad. He said hello this is W. F. Thomas Jr. and I said oh Hi Dad and that was it. I sat right up in bed and it was as if I had actually answered the phone. I know he was letting me know he is okay because I kept asking him to let me know and he did.
I will miss him forever and I know there are alot of things that will remind me of him daily but I hope in time these memories will bring smiles instead of tears...
Thank you all again for your wonderful support through this most heartbreaking time in my life.
Kim
It has helped me alot going through this grieving process and to know others have been there as well. I too am very much haunted by my dad's last days. He changed basically overnight and it was very shocking and sad because I had so much hope for him the week before. I think maybe I wasn't seeing what was actually happening because he was my dad and I wanted him to stay here with us. I think in time I will look past his final days and only remember/think of the wonderful times we had as a family.
I still cry daily when I think of something he said or did and how I want to talk with him again.
My entire family went down to NC for the wedding and it was a wonderful celebration. We had a toast to my dad and my brother wore the corsage that had been ordered for him. He would have loved being there but I know he was watching the joy and love we were celebrating.
I do want to add that about 2 weeks ago I was sleeping and heard a phone ringing..I answered it and it was my dad. He said hello this is W. F. Thomas Jr. and I said oh Hi Dad and that was it. I sat right up in bed and it was as if I had actually answered the phone. I know he was letting me know he is okay because I kept asking him to let me know and he did.
I will miss him forever and I know there are alot of things that will remind me of him daily but I hope in time these memories will bring smiles instead of tears...
Thank you all again for your wonderful support through this most heartbreaking time in my life.
Kim
QUOTE (seahorse @ Oct 28 2009, 08:26 AM)
I have just returned from my son's wedding in NC so I hadn't been on the board for a week or so. You are all so wonderful and kind to comment about my post regarding my dad...
It has helped me alot going through this grieving process and to know others have been there as well. I too am very much haunted by my dad's last days. He changed basically overnight and it was very shocking and sad because I had so much hope for him the week before. I think maybe I wasn't seeing what was actually happening because he was my dad and I wanted him to stay here with us. I think in time I will look past his final days and only remember/think of the wonderful times we had as a family.
I still cry daily when I think of something he said or did and how I want to talk with him again.
My entire family went down to NC for the wedding and it was a wonderful celebration. We had a toast to my dad and my brother wore the corsage that had been ordered for him. He would have loved being there but I know he was watching the joy and love we were celebrating.
I do want to add that about 2 weeks ago I was sleeping and heard a phone ringing..I answered it and it was my dad. He said hello this is W. F. Thomas Jr. and I said oh Hi Dad and that was it. I sat right up in bed and it was as if I had actually answered the phone. I know he was letting me know he is okay because I kept asking him to let me know and he did.
I will miss him forever and I know there are alot of things that will remind me of him daily but I hope in time these memories will bring smiles instead of tears...
Thank you all again for your wonderful support through this most heartbreaking time in my life.
Kim
It has helped me alot going through this grieving process and to know others have been there as well. I too am very much haunted by my dad's last days. He changed basically overnight and it was very shocking and sad because I had so much hope for him the week before. I think maybe I wasn't seeing what was actually happening because he was my dad and I wanted him to stay here with us. I think in time I will look past his final days and only remember/think of the wonderful times we had as a family.
I still cry daily when I think of something he said or did and how I want to talk with him again.
My entire family went down to NC for the wedding and it was a wonderful celebration. We had a toast to my dad and my brother wore the corsage that had been ordered for him. He would have loved being there but I know he was watching the joy and love we were celebrating.
I do want to add that about 2 weeks ago I was sleeping and heard a phone ringing..I answered it and it was my dad. He said hello this is W. F. Thomas Jr. and I said oh Hi Dad and that was it. I sat right up in bed and it was as if I had actually answered the phone. I know he was letting me know he is okay because I kept asking him to let me know and he did.
I will miss him forever and I know there are alot of things that will remind me of him daily but I hope in time these memories will bring smiles instead of tears...
Thank you all again for your wonderful support through this most heartbreaking time in my life.
Kim
Kim,
Please accept my condolences on the loss of you wonderful, wonderful father. It is so very obvious that you were all very close. What a blessing that is. So many do not have that. In time your pain will ease and you will be able to talk about him and smile and even laugh at funny things he might have done or said. It is true that time heals all wounds if you let it. I'm glad your Dad "called you"...it must have helped tremendously for you to know that he's ok. My FIL came to my MIL and sat on the foot of the bed one night. She said she was sleeping and just woke up for no reason to find him sitting there smiling at her. He didn't speak but just smiled. She spoke to him but then he got up and walked away. He looked good, not sick anymore so this helped her to know he was ok. Your Dad is ok too and in time you will be as well. Don't worry if you have downs along the way, it's natural to go back and forth...grief is a process which takes time.
Also, congratulations on your son's wedding. I'm sure it was a joyous occasion with much happiness and even laughter. And I agree, your Dad was there too enjoying your joy!
Many blessings to you all, Kim.
xoxo
Jan
I am so sorry.
((((((hugs)))))))
((((((hugs)))))))
QUOTE (seahorse @ Oct 28 2009, 06:26 AM)
I have just returned from my son's wedding in NC so I hadn't been on the board for a week or so. You are all so wonderful and kind to comment about my post regarding my dad...
It has helped me alot going through this grieving process and to know others have been there as well. I too am very much haunted by my dad's last days. He changed basically overnight and it was very shocking and sad because I had so much hope for him the week before. I think maybe I wasn't seeing what was actually happening because he was my dad and I wanted him to stay here with us. I think in time I will look past his final days and only remember/think of the wonderful times we had as a family.
I still cry daily when I think of something he said or did and how I want to talk with him again.
My entire family went down to NC for the wedding and it was a wonderful celebration. We had a toast to my dad and my brother wore the corsage that had been ordered for him. He would have loved being there but I know he was watching the joy and love we were celebrating.
I do want to add that about 2 weeks ago I was sleeping and heard a phone ringing..I answered it and it was my dad. He said hello this is W. F. Thomas Jr. and I said oh Hi Dad and that was it. I sat right up in bed and it was as if I had actually answered the phone. I know he was letting me know he is okay because I kept asking him to let me know and he did.
I will miss him forever and I know there are alot of things that will remind me of him daily but I hope in time these memories will bring smiles instead of tears...
Thank you all again for your wonderful support through this most heartbreaking time in my life.
Kim
It has helped me alot going through this grieving process and to know others have been there as well. I too am very much haunted by my dad's last days. He changed basically overnight and it was very shocking and sad because I had so much hope for him the week before. I think maybe I wasn't seeing what was actually happening because he was my dad and I wanted him to stay here with us. I think in time I will look past his final days and only remember/think of the wonderful times we had as a family.
I still cry daily when I think of something he said or did and how I want to talk with him again.
My entire family went down to NC for the wedding and it was a wonderful celebration. We had a toast to my dad and my brother wore the corsage that had been ordered for him. He would have loved being there but I know he was watching the joy and love we were celebrating.
I do want to add that about 2 weeks ago I was sleeping and heard a phone ringing..I answered it and it was my dad. He said hello this is W. F. Thomas Jr. and I said oh Hi Dad and that was it. I sat right up in bed and it was as if I had actually answered the phone. I know he was letting me know he is okay because I kept asking him to let me know and he did.
I will miss him forever and I know there are alot of things that will remind me of him daily but I hope in time these memories will bring smiles instead of tears...
Thank you all again for your wonderful support through this most heartbreaking time in my life.
Kim
Your grief is so much like my own. I posted on this thread when you started it and knew exactly what you were going through. My son also got married recently. (two weeks ago) He and his bride have both lost grandparents in the last two years. During the ceremony, they had the minister talk about how much they loved their grandparents and that they both knew how much they would have loved to see them get married and share in their happiness on their special day. There was also a special table set up at the reception with their photos and a beautiful arrangement of flowers. We got lots a good comments from guests who had never been to a wedding where something like that had been done. It was actually the bride's idea, but we all thought it was a good one.
I like that your brother wore your Dad's corsage. That was so sweet. I'm sure your Dad was there with you at your son's wedding. I know my parents were both there with all of us.
The dream you had was for sure your Dad communicating with you and letting you know that he's OK. I believe that with all my heart.
Take care and God bless you.
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