Hi lovely women,

There is something I wrote on my blog that I wanted to share with you.....

I wrote this about 2 years ago, just as I was coming out of my deep depression, when having to leave my job and my degree. At ths stage, I was still dx with Bipolar(knowing it was wrong) and peri was never explored until much later.

Just some musings......


"I am on a freight train of mortality. I am wise enough now to understand the gravity of feeling well, or, what I imagine it feels like. I constantly dream of flying, trekking lush mountains, skimming across the top of the white crested oceans and opening my eyes after a long, life-giving sleep and feeling bliss. One might think these dreams are liberating, a portent of things to come. Not so. I wake feeling such painful longing, deep sadness, irrational grief and gut-wrenching fear. It is supernatural in its intensity as I feel my body attacking itself, in chaos ripping itself apart. I have no control now. I have to leave it to the professionals to make some sense of all this illness.

I do not feel entirely powerless over the course of action I am prepared to take. I know that the universe is on my side and the unshakable belief that since I have been this sick, I have attracted a guardian. Unseen, untouchable but protector nonetheless. This is the first time in all these frightening years that I have felt this protector. It is a sign.

So I shall breathe with peace and purpose, even if I feel none and be thankful for all that I am and have. Time is marked by my baby Coco dog as she sits at our back door, melting into the night as her coat matches the darkness. Forever vigilant, protecting her mistress and guiding her home with the navigation of the moon. I know who my unseen protector is. It is in the wise eyes of my supernatural dog. Her eyes that occasionally rest on me and say "I know you more than you have ever been known, I love you unconditionally and I will protect you to the death". Maybe I have loved her before. She is the talisman that is my protection against all that is death and evil. Welcome to the Demon Run."


Yep, pretty dark place.......not so bad now in the mind........but still have my days.....

It is in the overcoming, is it not?

Take good, good care of your precious spirits.......

Big Hugs,

Michah

Michah,

I felt that I needed to reply. Such beautifully written words, that touched me deeply. My road has been a dark one at times, but the light is definitely beginning to shine through. Someone who can write such powerful words, during such a dark time is someone special. May your guardian stay by your side always. I wish you the best. Mary

(((((((((((((Micah)))))))))))))))))))

I admire your strength through it all and can only pray that I bear my peri ride with the same strength.

Jeaninne

Having a sense of freedom in our dreams can CONTRAST painfully with reality. I am free from the terrible burning pain of MS during my own dreams.
Those dreams do give our brains some much needed time out from stress, though I imagine?

Thanks lovely women........glad if you got something from it.......much love and hugs to all of you through this wild terrain.....

K, my heart goes out to you babe.......I know the pain I get from peri, let alone adding the symptoms of MS to the mix......you are one BRAVE woman.....thanks for your input, sweet......

Big hugs,

Michah

Thanks for the lovely reply Michah, and big hugs back to you x