I just spent the day reading this Pearls of Wisdom From Relationship Guru, Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., PART X OF 5: on the board Relationships at Midlife forum, here at PS. It is very interesting and for anyone who has not read it I can highly recomend you spend the time to read all 5 parts.

Did not know there is a link right above this forum.

I admire you, for caring enough to research material. The average man would not go the extra mile, as u have. Your wife is a very fortunate lady. Take care and thank you for letting me see, that there are still true gentlemen around. I am happy for the both of you.

I almost gave up. It seemed to me all she would do was argue about anything I said. Been going on awhile, but I've been working 60 hour weeks. And we're frequently on different work day shifts. No matter what I did to try and be helpful, I either didn't do it right, soon enough, or the way she wanted it done. I do the dishes, the laundry, the grocery shopping, fill the cars w/gas, get oil changes, see to vehicle registrations, do what house cleaning gets done, and clean the turlets. She told me, "well, just leave then". This after 40 years of marital bliss, and all at once I don't know the woman I'm living with. I suggested she go to her DOC and get tests done. I'm afraid she's taking so much non-prescribed stuff she may be unknowingly causing some problem reactions. She said, "no, you go to the doctor". I said, "fine, let's both go together". That didn't work either. She sleeps at least 12 hours a day. Forgets something she needs for work lots of days. Last month she forgot her glasses twice, called me to bring them to her at work. Locked her keys in the car at work twice, called me to bring the spare so she could drive home. Got 2 speeding tickets within 2 weeks, and then she was involved in a single car accident. Wasn't hurt thank goodness, but has knocked a few corners off her car. I prepare our lunches for work. . .I found a flask in her lunch box. I ask her about it. . .she said she needs it to help her sleep. I'm scared to death about this. Our auto insurance has gone up 50%, which we can't afford. And I don't want her to get hurt or to hurt anybody else. We had applied for a mortgage modification because her employer cut her hourly rate 25% and were in danger of loosing our home. The bank has lost our papers twice. The last time they called I was asleep and she took the call. They said we hadn't sent what they needed. She totally lost it. . .told them to get off their a$$es an look around for the papers, that we had faxed them twice. Two weeks later I received a letter from the bank they had declined our mortgage mod. I'm beside myself with this and don't know what else to do to help her. . .when does it end?
Sorry to rain on your parade,
otrpu

Wow.. you have been put through the ringer. First things first, I would personally go to the bank and talk with them. Take paperwork with you when you go and find out what you can do to save the house.

Do you have any children? Does she have any friends or close family that would be willing to talk with her about going to see a doctor? It could very well be that she is taking OTC meds that are causing these erratic moods. If she's taking OTC progeterone especially. Was alcohol in the flask?

I'm sorry you are going through this, I'm sorry there are females out there that refuse to look for help or refused to be helped.

I wish you all the best,