Hello,
I have been going through this for about a year. (The really bad symptoms) Prior to this I had a river period for 10 years.
1. Wake up with fear.
2. Start to worry about anything that comes to mind
3. start to think about things in the past and wonder if I am being punished
4. I have excessive worry about my teenage boys. ( barely let them go anywhere)because I will panic.
5. Just feel weird
6. sleep at night but could never take a nap in the day. I have to stay busy to keep my mind on something else.
7.lost a lot of pleasure in all the things I used to love.(cooking, decorating, giving parties, going to lunch)
8. I do not even want to look for a job, because I am afraid of my panic.
9. Just try to get through the day instead of living.( I used to have so much passion for everything)
10. This all started after 2 years of stress and has not stopped. (I am 49)
If anyone has some or most of these please respond back because it is so hard......

Hugs and Love,
Kim

Hi (((Kim)))

I am so sorry you are having a hard time. I just wanted to let you know...ditto to alot of what you said. I have panic/anxiety disorder before my hormones started taking a life of their own, so I am very familiar with what you are going through.

I worry excessively about everything! My mind is going 24/7. I have to constantly tell myself "it's ok".

Do you take anything to ease some of what you are going through? I take xanax and I have to say it really does help me. It is not a cure, but it makes it more bearable.

I am going to try some of the Celestial Teas, that are calming..maybe you could give them a try too?

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone with your feelings of panic/anxiety..it is all a part of perimenopause/menopause.

Sending you a cyber ((hug))..

Sunny

Oh Kim, you are sooooo not alone. I too had an anxiety disorder prior to perimenopause. I think the hormone issue just put more emphasis on the panic part. I take xanax just about every day now, where I didn't have to prior to about a year ago. I wake up with anxiety and it is my shadow just about the entire day. I have a hard time doing things that I used to do without a problem - even with an anxiety disorder. I worry about my kids, my husband, my aging parents. I'm afraid to go out and get a job because I'm afraid I'll flip out while on the job and either embarrass myself, or I don't know - not really sure what the worse thing that could happen, I just worry.

It effects my family life, my social life (what little I have these days), my every waking moment. Some days aren't as bad as others, but it is a constant. I struggle with whether or not to take an AD because I've tried in the past and have had such bad reactions to them - I'm very sensitive to medication.

So as far as advice....I'm still looking for some. But I did want you to know that just about everyone on this Website struggles from anxiety in some degree, so you are definately not alone. I think there are things that you can do to maybe make the symptoms not so bad, one being taking an anti-anxiety drug - it helps a lot. If you can tolerate an AD, lots of women on this site swear by them. Good nutrition and exercise, deep breathing and meditation (prayer), and staying in touch with others that are going through the same thing (here) I think helps.

Hi Kim,

All those feelings that you describe are pretty scary aren't they? But I want you to know that you are not alone and that many women, including me have expeienced those same things - I still get those feelings from time to time, and when they come, they are not so alarming like they used to be. I know you feel like you're in a very lonely place, but I'm here to tell you that it will get better. Just hang tight on this unpredictable and emotional rollercoaster, and in the meantime, we'll be here to hold your hand on what can be a very scary ride.......

love and ((hugs)))

I would say I have had all of them except #8 I work full time xanex has helped me keep my job I think .. but yeah .. I have had them all ,,

All of the above except #8, I do have a job but am on my 2nd week off because my anxiety has been so bad. I tried Zoloft but it has not helped as my dose is too low but going up makes me more anxious. Xanax helps some, but not always. I just talked myself out of a biggie this morning. I was pretty convinced I was going to have my husband take me to the hospital. My mind was just RACING!!!!! I finally layed on the couch and just kept repeating to myself over and over "just let the feelings be there" "just let the feelings be there". Anytime I had a stressful or scary thought I would just let it fly right out of the back of my head. Guess what? I was able to calm myself down after about 20 minutes, and did not even need my xanax to do it. I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF! Don't get me wrong the past couple of weeks have been hell with MANY ups and downs. I am not at all trying to simplify this. Just want you to know that you may just be able to use the power of your mind to get you out of a really bad place. I expect to hit alot more bumps in the road, but I think I taught myself a valuable lesson this morning. Again, not trying to over simplify. I FEEL YOUR PAIN. You are not alone.

You described my life to a tee!!!!!!

((((Kim))))
You are definitely not alone with these feelings. You have described my anxiety to a "T." I have and still experience fear/panic, excessive worry about anything, inabilty to nap during the day and thoughts that I'm being punished. This has been my reality for the past 5 years. Sad but true!! I'm doing my best to just roll with the punches and try not to react to my negative moods. ACCEPTANCE is my new mantra. I think I would feel better about this peri stuff if I only knew I would feel normal again. But then again, what is normal (LOL).
Hang in there sister!!!
Denise

well let me finish where you left off- 11. feel you are going crazy/ losing your mind-12. forgetting simple things 13. feeling like you just took a hit of acid ( not that i know how that feels) -14. having very vivid dreams that wake you and shake you to your very soul !!!! not just a "bad dream" but a soul shaking nite-mare, and trust me if or when you get them you will know what im taking about-15- feelings of utter despair some days and feelings of total urphoric all in the same day !!!!!! 16. feeling like you are watching the world thru some one elses body like your not in yours i could go on and on and on........

Hi Kim:

I dont have any more to add to what the other ladies said. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone and the anxiety and worry are the hardest symptom for me.

(((((((((((Kim)))))))))))))
Jeaninne

1....yes every time I wake up which is often during the night
2.....yep especially getting better
3....yep some is mad at me or the bad guy is chasing me...LOL
4....No just my Daughter...which is every day
5....Weird that pretty much describes it
6....No naps I get nerved out just like you
7....Quality of life is 0... ***** really bad
8......I got fired 15 times since April
9.....yep and my day is just about over ....hope tomorrow is worst then today
10.....Me to


Love ya babe we will get threw this or it will kill us.....

Oh Kim! I am so sorry to hear that you are still going through these terrible feelings. I hadn't heard from you in a while and I thought that it meant you were feeling better. I want you to know, as you must already, that I DO understand and I have had/am having many of the same symptoms as you listed above, but more in regard to the weird thoughts instead of the panic. In fact the last time we talked, I called you on the phone as I was curled up on the floor of my bathroom in tears because it had gotten so bad. There doesnt seem to be a rhyme or reason to my symptoms either anymore. It used to be really bad before my period, then it was bad during, now its bad immediately after and for the rest of the month. Up and down up and down from minute to minute until you just can't take it anymore. Please dont feel that you are alone in the way you are feeling because I can assure you that all that you are going through is just a normal part of this hormonal upheaval that we are forced to endure.

I am copying and pasting everything I have felt/am feeling too, my comments in ():

2. Start to worry about anything that comes to mind (YES!)
3. start to think about things in the past and wonder if I am being punished (all the time)
4. I have excessive worry about my teenage boys. ( barely let them go anywhere)because I will panic. (I feel the same about my fiance, or anyone I am close to, the slightest thing happens and I am freaking out thinking something terrible)
5. Just feel weird (FOR THE LAST 10 MONTHS STRAIGHT, wondering if this is the "new normal" everyone keeps talking about and if I will always feel strange for the rest of my life)
7.lost a lot of pleasure in all the things I used to love.(cooking, decorating, giving parties, going to lunch)-Its so sad, isnt it?? Its like the core of you is missing, everything you once loved, liked, enjoyed, wished, anticipated....it has faded into another world with the rest of your "self" that is no longer with you)
8. I do not even want to look for a job, because I am afraid of my panic. (I actually am still working, by the grace of God and because I would be homesless if I didnt, I dont know how I made it this far, but during the worst of it back in May of this year there were many days I just couldnt make it)
9. Just try to get through the day instead of living.( I used to have so much passion for everything)--me too Kim, we are so alike. I feel like just survivng moment to moment sometimes is a HUGE accomplishement. What happened to my plans, my dreams....there was so much that laid ahead, at 41 I felt like I barely scratched the surface of my life and now it feels like I no longer have one, its just about surviving)
10. This all started after 2 years of stress and has not stopped. (I am 49)--Im 41, but this all happened for me about a month after I had the worst shock of my life...my doctor told me I might have cancer. I actually became physically hysterical and was in a state of shock for almost a month until they told me it was all for nothing...after that happened, I thought it was all PTS disorder, but when I started missing periods, had hot flashes constantly, and then found PS and read about all the same things I was going through, I knew that it had to be hormonal)

Kim, are you taking any Vitamin D? I started on a therapudic dosage of 10,000 ius/day for a month and it REALLY helped with the panic and racing thoughts.
I also am taking about 600 mgs of magnesium day in a supplement called Ionic Fizz, that you mix in water. It is a wonderful product that doesnt upset my stomach and has an incredible calming effect on me. I drink 2 glasses a day, one right before bedtime. I also am taking about 2,000 mcg of methyl B 12 and that helped me too.

Kim you are SO not alone, even though it feels like it. I know that all of this will get better for you. I am no where near "normal", or the person I once was a year ago, but I am living proof that as bad as all this gets, it doesnt mean you are broken or changed forever. I have been in the darkest place, I cant even describe it and the last few days, I actually feel like my mind is trying so hard to rebalance itself. I think that the brain really does know how to regain its balance, it just takes a little time and a lot of support with rest, vitamins, and anything that is healing to us. Please dont give up...please email me or call....you have my number. I am here for you and I always will be.

Sending much love and hugs....always.....Dee

yes..yes and yes to all the above !!

You are not alone and It will get easier to cope with..this I can promise , can I have experienced it myself.Hang in there and keep coming here.
Sending you peace and Love !!

Yes, you are not alone. I just turned 51. I don't know what happened to me. My daughter got married last year. I am still dealing with the "new" relationship I have to have with her now. She moved to another state and I can't deal with just her visiting. I feel so stressed when she comes every few weeks because I have to be "on". I hyperventilate all day when she's her and try to keep it hidden that I'm not feeling well. I go through the day in slow motion. I can't sleep at night. All the past keeps coming back and I feel anger sometimes at all the people who were nasty and I just took it. This includes relatives. I worked as a preschool assistant teacher for ten years and had an argument with the new owner. I worked so hard and put so much into each day with the children. I loved the children and came home exhausted because I did everything and the "head" teacher with the degree just sat there. The new owner changed my hours to afternoon to just be with the daycare kids because the new girl had a "degree". This girl would yell at the kids and force feed them. But....she had a "degree". So I quit. Found another job full time job in factory where people were treated like animals. Got another one where we were told to lie to get clients by phone to sell items. I did it my own way without lying and women owner was constantly bothering me even though I had the top sales. And on it went. I was throwing up every morning going to work. There is much more that happened in the last two years and I feel like a shell of a person. I have to parents who are in their late 70's who I constantly worry about. I worry about my husband who doesn't look after his health. I feel like there is nothing left but sorrow for what the future will hold. I have no desire now to go look for a job even if I slept more then one hour a night. But I feel trapped in the sameness everyday. Everything aches and when I do get my period I flood for days. I used to love buying a new piece of jewerly from qvc and look forward to getting it in the mail. I don't find happiness in that anymore either. I just feel dull. I want to socialize but I get the stupid tight stomach and breathing goes off and then hyperventilate the whole time with fast heart beat. by looking at me I don't think anyone would notice but I never feel relaxed anymore with anyone besides my mom and husband. Can hormones really make someone anxious and dull at the same time?

Pattimay, you poor thing. I can relate to so much of your post. I too have worked several jobs in my career that made me sick to my stomach. I was laid-off from a job I loved about 3 years ago and then secured another job with the same company and then was laid-off from that after 2 years. I then got another job with the same company about 6 months ago and I really like this job but it will end in 1 year then I am back looking for a job again. Anyway as I started to say, the job I got after the first lay-off had me in tears all day every day. This was bad but since I work from home, my co-workers and boss never knew it. I would just sit here and cry and cry. The job was soooo hard and learning something new at my age, and after going through menopause was just overwhelming. I just felt like I could not keep up with the younger employees (I don't have a degree either), and I could not wrap my mind around the new job. I tried to keep confidence in my work-voice and was often told that I was doing a good job, so I have to assume the hormones were telling me I was not good enough. Now, as I said earlier, I love my current job and enjoy working from home but the job is going to end. If I do not secure yet another position I will have to leave a company that I have worked at for 20 years; talk about scary. If there is one thing I do not need is more fear in my life. I just don't know if I can learn yet another new job; it is just too stressful. Like you, I am fearful of what the future holds and feel like a shell of the person I used to be. My confidence level is zero! With all that said, I am much better than I was 3 years ago when all this peri stuff started. I am now post about 2 years and actually had a good couple years. Recently some of the symptoms have returned and there are highs and lows. I guess menopause is the gift that keeps on giving. Hang in there and thank you for allowing me to piggy-back off your post and vent some of my own insecurities. We are all sisters in this journey.

Thank you wonderful PS sisters I appreciate all of your responses and will keep on going and holding on because I am with you on this journey!!!

Love Kim

Yes i have in the year 2007. A lot better now.

Include me in your club. At my worst, I would think "My mind is a scary neighborhood and I don't want to be here alone..."

They sure can living this nitemare with all of you, add the head thing the pressure, dizziness head just feels strange.

[quote name='sissyl' date='Sep 29 2009, 12:07 PM' post='311938']
Include me in your club. At my worst, I would think "My mind is a scary neighborhood and I don't want to be here alone..."
[/q



Girl we obviously have the same Realtor...

We are with you on this to.....yuck

Kim,
I am right with you on all of these points that you made. Everyday it seems that something else is wrong with me. I feel like I am on another planet at times. I really want to be on this one, but today is not one of those days. As you can see you are definitely not alone.
Much Love,
Bev

I have been feeling that way alot here lately too..... everything you have mentioned, I have or have had....... Today I feel like I could nearly jump out of my skin..... then comes the creepy thoughts! It is so frustrating but we will all get through this together!

Hugs to all

Kim

This is my first post..........and let me tell you how much you are NOT alone. I have felt all of the same things, but I have dogs and no kids. Funny, but I worry about not being there for the dogs. I feel like no one can look after them like me.

As far as everything you mentioned, you hit it all right on the head. Now add the following: husband out of the country for four and a half months, a workplace full of women who all just don't get it, and a boss who is starting to think i'm a total wimp for not being able to put on my "big girl panties", like she did after her hysterectomy, and just DEAL WITH IT.

I have never felt so out of synch in my life. Even with the panic disorder, once the medication kicked in it was totally do-able for me. This has beat hands down the worst rollercoaster accident that has EVER happened anywhere on this earth!!!

Hang in there, let's all get there in one piece.

Ditto I could have written this myself.

Yes, I have felt all of them other than looking for the job.... I work from home helping my husband run his business. I know I could not go out to a job outside the home right now at all. I am so grateful to have this home office although some days it gets pretty lonely. I do understand what you are talking about, and doesn't it feel good to know so many women on PS care and understand? It helps me so much to know I am not alone in this nightmare.

Please hang in there with the rest of us.

many hugs,
mood_swinger

P.S. Kim I forgot to mention above that this is one thing I believe for sure.... we are NOT being punished for anything we have done or not done in the past. We have done nothing to deserve this and this is NOT our fault.... it is our hormones, and our hormones alone..... keep telling yourself this. Better still, be extra good to yourself right now.... I am told that this all gets better and I have to believe it. We have to have hope even though some days we can barely go on.

((((((hugs))))))))

mood_swinger

I agree...we are NOT being punished for anything we have or have not done in the past! This is such a weird time of life and I can relate to everything Kim and all my other Power Surge buddies are saying. The anxiety is the worst. I feel like I am never going to be able to relax and have fun...I will always find something to obsessively worry about. It doesn't help that I have always been a worry wart anyway, and now everything I worry about is magnified. Not to mention I have a membership card to the "hermit club" and many times just want to withdraw into my own little cocoon until this menopause stuff passes. So try not to feel "abnormal" or self-conscious about what you're going through. Apparently, all these things are "normal" for this stage of life.

agingracefully

Add too..i use to love scrap booking and craft stuff and of course photography but lately i cant find joy in anything ...all i do is feel weird...great how do you explain that to a dr...hang in there because your definately not alone.

Hi all and muttchaser,

I thought Id say hi, because we too only have dogs (no kids). Actually, we are trying to adopt after years of infertility. But I know what you mean, I feel like I worry now about my dogs that I start saying how will I ever be able to take care of a kid like this. I am 39 and have this crazy buzzing/tingling in my foot and hand and when it starts it causes me to panic and creates bad anxiety. I started on AD's a few months ago, but it still comes back and I get worried I am never gonna get better. Anyway, just a fellow dog lover who thought Id say hi and share my story.

Take care, Maria