I'm 45 years old and feel awful. So far, the 40's haven't been great for me. I used to be a really happy, but now....

I'm always tired
I'm so anxious about getting some dreadful disease and dying
I never want to go out with friends. I just want to stay home
I'm so moody. One minute I'm happy, the other I'm angry and snap at my family
I have to have everything done the same way every day and have a hard time breaking a routine
My left breast always feels sore along with my shoulder and underarm (could it be from me checking it all the time???)
The list goes on......

What is wrong with me? I used to be such a happy person. Now I just feel old and and like my life is over. I feel guilty when I hear about someone who really is sick because I'm always so fearful and waste so much time worrying that I "might" someday get sick.

This is so not me and it seems to be worse in the fall and winter. After I have my early mammogram in April (and get normal results) I'm good until September.

Am I completely hormonal? Why do I fear dying or getting cancer so much? I'm just lost......

Welcome to PS!

And welcome to perimenopause! It sounds like you are indeed dealing with peri symptoms. Lots of other ladies here feel the same way you do, including me. Stick around and do lots of reading here. It's a great comfort to know that we're not alone during this crazy hormonal time!

Welcome!

Sorry to have to break it to you, but welcome to perimenopause. My mid-forties was the same thing. Somehow we go along thinking that life will just be the same "always" and then you hit the wall with peri. I had a severe hit myself, could not believe it. I had always been able to do several things at once, have energy galore and awake with full energy in the mornings. Then came peri......nothing was the same, I didn't even recognize myself.

Your body is experiencing hormonal fluctuations, this is how the body reacts to lower levels of hormones, it's up and down. Please educate yourself here. Things will get better, but the change takes time and it can be a bumpy ride.

Experiencing these new "fears" is very NORMAL during the change. I've had MANY freakout moments, so I totally understand how you feel. I'm glad you are here and I hope you find comfort from the women here that are also going through similar things.

Juliann

So sorry you are feeling this way. I don't have any wise words other than I could have written your post myself almost word for word. I am 47 and have been feeling the same way since the begining of this year. Keep reading this fantastic site and you will be reassured that what you are feeling does indeed sound like peri. Enjoy the good days you have and try and think that this is a path we ladies have to follow to reach the next part of our lives. Hopefully this journey will make us stronger.

Hugs

Jackie

Hi,

Just the most awful time isn,t it?

Feel exactly as you,couldn,t have put it better with illnesses, my mind is normally occupied 24/7 with it.

I,m constantly at Dr,s.

And also suffer with left brest aching/sore/twinging. Has been going on for a year on/off.

Has anyone told you what causes it? most Dr,s just say chest wall pain to me? I also get sore spots on ribs left side of breast.
Have been to a breast specialist but still feel panicked by it.
I,m 43 and feel the old me got lost somewhere last year!!

These boards will help you they have got me through some of my darkest days, hope they do you too.

Take care

KathS

The only thing different between me and you is that my mood swings include crying jags along with the happy and angry moods.

Hi todohert. Welcome to the site. I can relate; I'm your same age and for the past year or two I've felt suddenly old and creaky. My main problem is fatigue, apathy, fogginess. I do everything in slow motion now. No ENERGY! I've let myself go and just don't feel like dealing with things (esp. socially). I just want some relief.

And I can't understand how some women (older women) seem to get more accomplished than I do!

I started taking Estroven PM a few months ago and it really started helping a little. Now I've run out -- need to buy some more. That and Co Q10. And Move Free for the joints. But still, I could use TONS more energy. I just feel as if I'm moving through a thick sludge all the time, mentally AND physically.

Anyway, I can always count on this site bringing me comfort and info when I'm feeling down or lost. I hope it does you good too! Let us know how you're doing. (hugs)

Been surfing the boards recently and came across this post. Had to check it wasn't me who wrote it! I am feeling exactly the same at the moment, left breast is giving me jip, anxiety thru' roof, just cannot seem to get interested in anything etc., and was wondering if you are feeling better as the post was a month ago. I do hope you are improved as it will let me feel there is some light at the end of this horrible tunnel.
Pookie

Crikey Pookie,
Me and you both then!! health anx is the pits isn,t it??

How long have you been suffering with left breast if don,t mind me asking?

I also would like to see a chink of light in this tunnel

KathS

Well, on and off on the left side for a number of years but this recent bout has been for several months where I am aware of it most of the time. It is not so bad on some days and worse on others but I suppose my brain helps to make me feel bad imagining the worst. It is no longer linked to my cycle which is now down to about 24 days rather than 28, although the right side seems to be following a cyclical pattern. Have been to Doc., but he just tells me breast pain is hormonal and not to worry, easy for HIM to say. It drives me mad and it really helps to know other women are experiencing the same (not that I would wish it on anyone).
Also feeling fed up, tired and cannot really get enthusiastic about anything, that in turn makes me feel guilty as I have 3 kids and a hubby who have to put up with me, although I try really hard to hide it from them.
The highlight of my day at the moment is evening time when all jobs have been done and I can just flake out on sofa!
Tell me about your experiences, I would be interested to know.

Pookie X

Mine started this time last year,it,s a sore achey pain(also not cycle linked anymore)which throws me,and the fact my left is only affected freaks me too (everything freaks me nowadays)
It mainly hurts on the outer part of breast and sort of armpit area,then just recent started getting twinges/fizzy feeling in the breast too,which prompted ANOTHER Dr visit.

Have been examined by EVERYONE had blood tests galore.

And me too with lack of enthusiasm,just everything seems such a chore,even bothering to get the hoover out,and like you said then the guilty feelings.

I have also been suffering with HUGE health anxiety,think the fact is my body just seems to be doing it,s own thing of which I have no control,yet it seems one set of symptoms go to be replaced by another strange ache/pain.

I have never been at my Dr,s so much as this last year,makes me feel like a neurotic hypochondriac.

I,m 43

Thanks for replying Kath

Have all that too! The routine thing too drives my husband mad have to do things at certain times or else can't do it

Hi Pookie -- Maybe try looking into Evening Primrose Oil and/or fish oils for the breast pain?

( http://healthpsych.psy.vanderbilt.edu/Even...mrose%20Oil.htm )

Yep same here it comes from nowhere you dont actually see it coming, my husband thought i was having a breakdown it happened that quick, after 33 years of marriage he has never seen me this bad. You feel like you imagining too much I found the worst thing to do is google your symptons, its best to join a forum like this fantastic one. All of you are so far away from me but I can feel the support. So like suggested read everything here and you will feel like someone is holding your hand.Every day I find a new ache it goes from the ribs to the underarm to the arms then the legs, the chest bones are the scary ones but I know I am ok as I had my mammogram. I do have arthritis in the upper spine.

Hello Pookie.

I am 45 and have had similar problems with my right breast as you...for past five years or so. If you feel uncertain, request a breast ultrasound from your doc. Explain that you are not comfortable with your breast anymore and you feel that something is just not right with it. I had an ultrasound done by my surgeon in his office and you know, he found a tumor in there. Core-needle biopsied 3 samples taken from the tumor, was B9 and I must return every six months. Weird tumor too, in that it does not show on the monitor unless he lays me at a certain angle...probably gravity at this age. If I lay on my back during the ultrasound, a clear reading comes...no tumor. If the doc lays me at this wierd angle on my side, the tumor shows on the monitor...it's sort of hidden in my dense breast. I (nor did any of the docs, including the surgeon) never felt the tumor during my monthly BSE, just the pain that did not coincide with my monthly cycle like my left breast did. If there is nothing there, there's nothing there. But your mind can be eased. As did I, during the ultrasound, look at the monitor and then compare it to the images on the breastcancer.org website. Might be a good idea to print out those images to study before and after the ultrasound. If you disagree with the ultrasound doc, get a copy of the image and get a second opinion. Based on this personal experience, I follow my instincts even when I think my docs are growing weary and tired of me.

Take care and welcome to the 40s!

I feel this way too. I am 46 and have been having peri changes since my son was born. He is 11 now but I have to say since turning 40 it has gotten progressively worse. Some days seem better than others and I hang to them with all my might and pray for them to return all the time.

Please do not feel alone and yes it is hormonal!!!!
Jeaninne

Thanks, lovely to hear from you.

Got my three children home on hols this week and trying to be engaged and cheerful with them too but it is hard work. At least when they are at school I can switch off if I am not at work!

Let's hang on in there together!

Pookie

Hello!

I am also 45 years old and have been feeling awful this past year with all kinds of symptoms. 2 1/2 years ago I lost my dear mom suddenly to a heart attack. Shortly after that I started feeling weird aches and pains, digestive issues and health anxiety through the roof! I chalked it all up to grief and stress. Then I stumbled across this board and knew that I was in the throes of peri. This is my worst year with all sorts of aches and pains, a variety of weird symptoms. Ugh! Whenever I am freaked out by symptoms, rather than Googling, I come here and it is much more comforting knowing that I am not alone. I don't post often but I read the posts everyday. I love this site! I hope that all of us get relief as often as we can. Like others here, I hang on to those good days and on my bad days I remind myself that there will be good days ahead.