Been under tremendous stress. This weekend my anxiety went through the roof and my blood pressure with it.

I can list all the things that are causing stress (including to loss of a dear friend recently) but they're immaterial. The point is I'm having rolling panic episodes constantly, which I've never had before. When it happens, I feel like my heart is pounding/pulse racing and that I can't breathe properly. The weird thing is that bending over seems to trigger the panic. And it has been going on constantly for 3 days.

I was in the super market Sat. and decided to take my blood pressure on their machine -- just to reassure myself I was OK. Big mistake. I put my arm through the cuff and had a world class panic attack. I should have walked away, But I took the test anyway -- and it was unbelievabley high for me -- although still within high normal range. Same with pulse -- high for me but not out of normal range. But I freaked and finished my shopping in tears.

Tested myself at home Sunday. Same thing. Put the cuff on -- major panic attack -- took the test anyway -- and of course the reading was even worse than on Sat. So -- I broke down a took half a Xanax (.25 mg), retested later and my reading was was still a little high for me but well within the acceptable range - - and down 26 points! So I know it's anxiety causing the BP problem. But then I had to go to bed because the Xanax knocked me out.

But now I'm anxious about both my health and taking the Xanax, too.

I take a little Xanax at night sometimes (ususally .125 or less) to sleep and have for 3 years, but today I've let myself take that amount 2X today -- once about noon and again about 4 - -and I'm planning to take another .125 in a little while, which will be the most I've taken in over a year.

I've just never had anxiety like this where it doesn't quit, and it's causing a big, scary physical problem. I'm 6 years post so I don't think this is hormonal -- I just think all the stuff I've been going through personally and professionally has come crashing down and now on top of it, I'm terrified that there's something really wrong with me.

I'm basically healthy - not overweight, exercise an hour a day, eat healthy, good cholesterol, no meds, drink limited to 1 glass of wine. Smoke a little (5 cigs/day but never more than about 3 puffs at a time). Oh yeah. And up until now, I had pefect BP readings.

The worst part is that I'm afraid to do anything reasonable (like take my BP every day and keep a chart) or go to the doc because I cannot face going through Kaiser's usual round of wait for the test - wait for the result - we didn't find anything - wait for the next test... I'm just too stressed. Any help, thoughts and support would be a big plus for me right now.

Thanks, ladies.
Lydia

Hi Lydia - you are going to be just fine dear, please don't worry!!! Prolonged anxiety and stress can do this too you and of course it will make your BP go high! Just try to stay calm and don't worry too much - the more you worry about the BP the higher it will go.....

Many years ago I had terrible stress and my BP went high...I fell into the 'worry trap' and well, it took a long time to get calm enough for it to normalize but eventually it did.....( and by the way my was very high) My best advice is NOT to take your BP until you have gone a few weeks feeling calm....you will be surprised at the result I bet!

If you have not read Claire Weekes I highly recommend that you do - her books are 'Bibles' to many of us - Hope and Help for your nerves is a favorite of many here - take her advice and don't fall into the "second fear" we impose upon ourselves....with time and patience you can learn to control these feelings. Deep breaths and acceptance that your body is telling you to slow down and take care are going to be your best friends if you let them.

You are going to be just fine dear,

CIC

I have had similar day long panic attacks as part of peri, and I also have white coat hypertension, so I can relate. Mine would come and go for no reason, like a thunderstorm moving in.

I was given good advice here to take my Xanax before I got to a full blown climb the walls terror state, at the start of panic and to take another one if the first (.25) was still leaving me feeling panicked. I was so reluctant to take them that I would wait til my system was in complete overdrive. Maybe check out the threads on xanax here if you haven't.

You might even consider taking xanax for a day or two to break the cycle. This worked for me, and just knowing I had control over feeling this way helped enormously. Reading all the posts about women facing the same thing here also helped me tremendously. I am feeling much calmer and rarely need one now but so glad to have them standing guard in my medicine cabinet.

Wishing that you feel better soon...

i think the problem is the anxiety you get when you take bp, you have to force your self not to take bp, and if you have a machine at home throw it OUT.....thats what i had to do, when its causing more harm than good its not worth it....

Hang in there! We totally understand what you are going through and we are still kicking! Great advice from the ladies here: you are not in a place to be able to take your BP right now, so give it up like it is an "addiction" for now, just stop. STOP. What you are going through is actually "normal" for you and the amount of stress and grief you are dealing with. Please please let yourself feel some of the underlying awful emotion because in a weird way, your anxiety is a kind of "displacement activity" that your brain and psyche has come up with in a misguided attempt to "protect" you.

You aren't crazy or even broken but you are VERY sad, VERY scared, VERY emotionally tired out. The thing you said at the beginning of your post, about knowing kind of why this is happening but then dismissing it as "immaterial" or something like that (sorry I don't remember exactly --peri-brain today, lol!) is what strikes me as exactly what IS most material. Again, I believe your inner self/psyche/subconscious is actually doing its own version of what your words are saying: it is feeling terrible but trying to digress from that. Gosh, I hope that makes sense because I have a strong feeling that dealing with how powerful your deep sad/fear/grief really is will help these awful sensations lessen.

I have been in your shoes and it is only through experience and 20/20 hindsight that I see what was happening. Because at the time you feel like you have been taken over by bizarre physical forces.

please keep us posted and try to have a good scream and cry fest!!! You are hurting! You have had loss! It is actually safe to feel all that but your subconscious doesn't know that (think of a scared child -- that's how it operates) until you show it. It thinks you'd be better served freaking about your BP and your awful physical sensations and panic thoughts than to feel the powerful grief and loss stuff. But that is misguided and you can help you and all the parts of you by beginning to let it all hang out.

It's OK, you just need to get REST RIGHT NOW and get some counselling and help to process the things that have happened. Deal with that stuff now or you might end up like me. I have been trapped in a constant anxiety state and unable to breathe properly for over THREE MONTHS. The shrink said it is because I have had an overload of accumulated major stresses this year, one after the other and did not "process" any of them. So deal to that anxiety bogey right now, throw everything you can at it, including the tranquillisers to help with the worst bits. By the way, high blood pressure needs to be present for a looooong time before it starts affecting your health. If you can just stop stressing over your BP that will help a lot.

Anxiety is terrible and it feeds on itself in a seemingly never-ending cycle!

You're nervous. Then you get nervous because you're nervous. Then you try to calm down and can't, so you get nervous because you can't calm yourself down. Then the thoughts start going haywire and create even more stress by raising specters of illness and other horrors.

Oh dear! I know this cycle so well!


Deep breathing helps if you can keep it up even through the panic. It may take several breaths before you are able to bring yourself back "down" but keep at it.

Take a slow breath in through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, then exhale out of your mouth. Keep doing this until you start to feel calm.
While you're doing this, try to take your mind to a favorite place--someplace that gives you comfort. I try to visualize myself propped up in my comfy bed reading a good book with my kitty laying by my side...

My heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you. Logically, I know I'm not the only person on the planet to ever go through this, but your advice and support has really helped me today.

The BP monitor is back in its box hidden in the linen closet. I am forcing myself to keep my fingers off my pulse and not to even go near my husband's peak flow meter machine to check how my breathing is. BTW - -it's fine. Today I hustled up 10 flights of stairs and did my nightly several mile power walk, and I didn't croak. I idn't even start hyperventilate or start panting so I must be OK

Today I did take a little Xanax, lots of deep breathing, and it helped a lot. Herbert (as I named my anxiety -- might as well, since the sucker is a constant companion at the moment ) has taken a hike. Hopefully somewhere far away, but at least for the past 5 hours I' ve been panic-free. He might be back for breakfast, but I'll worry about that if it happens.

I made a mental list of all the things that have been stressing me. Then I made a list of all the good things that have happened lately, because there have been quite a few of those. And one or two pressing problems at work seem to be heading towards positive resolution.

So I know this is by no means over, but today was better. And all of you helped me out a great, great deal.

Hugs and thanks to all of you ladies. Couldn't do this without you.

Lydia

((((((((((Lydia)))))))))))))

Anxiety is one tough animal to deal with but hang in there - it will get better,

Ha, Lydia...never thought to name mine....I will call him (he has to be a him of course!) Fred.......

Yay Lydia! Way to go! And you know, I gotta give a shout out to Herbert and Fred! I know that sounds strange because these guys are a real pain in the **s but at the same time, they are important messengers. They are bungling (like a bull in a china shop) but they have something important to tell you and will make sure to get your attention any way that they can. I truly believe that good old Herbert and Fred are actually trying very very hard to take care of you dear ladies.

But perhaps we can teach them some manners! The whole taking over body and mind is SO RUDE!!!!

So I love them but they need to "CHILLAX" as my 15 year old would say.

(((((((((Lydia)))))))))) Right there with you!