Hi ladies

I'm 52, October 2nd will be a year since i've had my period (unless it comes by then)

And I'm tellin ya. I've had panic disorder and depression (i'm a child of an alcoholic) all
my life, i've been on paxil and xanax for almost 20 years, i've managed to hold down part
time jobs (thank god hubby is ok, although he's on Prestique) most of my life, but had some
meltdowns where i just couldn't work, thought i was going to die.

I used to love change, however. I welcomed it. Now, i seem to freak out over it. I NEVER EVER
Thought little old me would be saying this.............seems if i just do something different on the weekends
i have a hard time........but i get so depressed and bored doing the same thing, which is pretty much
staying at home watching t.v.
in the winter since i'm in so. california, it is beautiful, then i get out, ride my bike, walk my dogs,
sometimes i'll even lift weights lol, but in the summer i just melt and get so depressed.

Anyway, the thought of moving out of California used to make me dizzy with delight, now i'm petrified,
because all of my hubby and my friends' and family are here, very near us, and I know i'd just die
without them, and the huge change would just make my mind go on 'tilt'.

I'm becoming a creature of habit. Guy, now i know where that saying came from.
Any of you feel this way?

Terri
mcmichael_realtor@hotmail.com

I know exactly what you are talking about! I was just thinking about this the other day. I used to be so brave and bold. I loved making changes and I considered them an adventure. I used to rearrange the furniture if I couldn't find any other changes worth making!

These days it seems the only change I can stand is changing my mind! And I seem to do that every 15 minutes, whether my mind needs to be changed or not! I'm very fearful and anxious about everything, so staying with the "same old, same old" gives me comfort. I've decided that the anxiety and panic disorder that comes along with this menopause stuff has ****** the sense of adventure right out of me. My moods are so unstable and my brain is so foggy that I'm afraid to make any changes for fear of "messing up".

Yuck, I hate this stage of life. The good news is, I've talked to many people who are through the other side of this mess and they say that your old personality does come back, in many cases better than ever! So, I'm holding on to the thought that one day I'm going to take up scuba diving, square dancing, scrapbooking or anything else that my heart desires. Right now it just seems too scary and like too much work.

I hear you ladies. I am the very same way. I was looking at my daughter the other day and it was literally scareing me how different she looks. She's 14 and in my head I guess I'm thinking she should always look like a little kid. Change is frightening now, although I have to say I was never really one who liked change very much, but now it's just rediculous! I'm with you, Lori, I look forward to the day when I'll break out of this cacoon I'm currently in and fly like a butterfly!!!

I don't like ANY kind of change at all.....not even using a different brand of toothpaste....and that's probably why my life is the way it is right now....sometimes change is good,but we just gotta let go of the fear of it...

I am pretty young, almost 39, and certainly not anywhere near full menopause, but definitely I have felt anxious for several years even though being on the pill for extra estrogen/hormonal stability. In my 20s I was a rollling stone, moved a lot, and was happy wherever I was. Last year I was in Utah, started to have a meltdown, and decided I should move back to New Mexico to be closer to a friend who I'm not even that close to anymore. I've started to wonder if I'm going to live in New Mexico the rest of my life, if this is it....... I don't like dressing much anymore, rarely put on makeup unless I have to for work, hate having to shop or do anything that isn't "required". I still like exercising and force myself to get out and keep active but there's no joy. It's not relaxing or fun like it used to be. Really think it is from progesterone deficiency.... and also decline of estrogen. I'm a big believer in HRT and have already decided not to go through menopause without being on something. Right now I'm on the pill. I don't tolerate progestins that well but it's better than nothing. Summer is also hard for me. The hot weather and stress. I never feel pretty anymore and that is very hard. Culture seems so ageist. As for hoping my personality will mellow out post menopause, I am not counting on it. My mom got meaner and more strident as she got older. I think I will too. I would go back to being 25 in a heartbeat. I was so much happier when I was younger. Life is filled with so many possibilities. I hate to think that I would close myself off to everything because of some biochemical factor.

Me, too! I cannot stand ANY change around me right now, even the products that I use. It may be getting a tad better, but not much. There is so much change and turmoil going on inside of us that the thought of any change at all just is too much to bear. About the time I entered this madness, several of my favorite products changed packaging and/or formulas or just were discontinued. I freaked out every time!!!

My husband keeps wanting to change the flooring, furniture, kitchen things, etc. and I have literally told him NO WAY... not right now. This would send me over the edge, sure enough.

I do hope and pray that this goes away--I miss "me".

mood_swinger