I am sitting here at my desk crying my eyes out because I keep thinking about saying goodbye to my son in 2 days -- what am I going to do, how am I going to act, I keep reading my daughter in law's Facebook about how happy she is to be moving, and how everyone is so happy for her to move EXCEPT ME -- I cannot write anything on her wall because if I wrote what I felt it would not be good! If I am crying sitting here at work, how in the world am I going to handle being around all of them in 2 days! I guess I could wear a big pair of sunglasses and hide because I can guarantee that the tears will be flowing all day watching them load the moving truck, and then when they actually get in to drive away, I will probably lose it completely. I know I have to be strong, and I really try to be most of the time, but I feel so weak and sad right now. I know my 12 yr old son will also be upset, but he hides it like most men do.....and my poor hub, he is also very sad and in his condition he has to be careful. I am not looking forward to this weekend at all, the 3 hour drive home for us is going to be torturous, I will probably be crying the entire way home and not able to see the road thru my tears=(

How far away will your son be?

I am in Southern California, they are going to Colorado Springs, Colorado!

**** it all in in front of your son be happy for him, and when hes gone let it all out, im sure you will miss him, but this is what life is, your job is done, and what we get for a job well done is grandchildren- their great, my reason for living , you will be fine, good luck

I am so sorry you have to deal with this, Barb! I can't imagine how sad you are feeling...I will be praying that you find some relief and peace with this move. Try to think positively...in this age of computers and internet, it is easier than ever to stay in touch with loved ones. I know this is small consolation...it will just take time to adjust for all of you.

I realize how lucky and blessed I am to have my oldest daughter and her husband of 3 years close by. They live about 12 miles away, and that is a wonderful thing!

Will be thinking of you and praying for you all,
Hugs,
Di

wow i didnt think that word would get sensored, guess i will have to remember that if i ever talk about a vacuum cleaner.....lol

Yeah .. I learned you cant type Su@k ,, !! or He|| .. have to use special characters .. maybe if you start planning your first visit out to see them ,, maybe thanks giving or christmas ,, look at airfares or hotels .. and just start planning a trip out there you'll feel better !! its only 2 hours away !!

((hugs)) being a parent is so hard sometimes. Sorry you are so sad. Keep in touch via email, Ims and phone calls, still not the same but it might ease some pain.

(((2sons))) I feel for you. It is a hard one to get over for sure, but take comfort in knowing that a new chapter now begins. When one window closes, another one opens. This might be the end of one thing, but it is the beginning of something new.

How proud you must be of your family!!!! GOOD JOB!!!!

I have been where you are when my youngest daughter moved away.We are best pals and used to do everything together.
She moved away temporarily for work which was bad enough but she always used to come home at weekends. But then she fell in love with a guy where she was working and has moved permanantly to be with him- 2 hours away.
He is a lovely guy and now they are engaged and getting married next year.
The final upset was when she told me she wouldn't be coming home to get married as her home is now where she is living and they will be married in their village church.That was hard!

I thought I would never get over her moving away but as time has moved on I have realised it doesn't really matter as long as she is happy. We talk or text every day and I know I am still as important as ever to her.
When she comes back to see us it is lovely, but after a couple of days I am happy to see her go off so hubby and I can get back to our lives. I never thought I would feel like that-but time changes everything.

I think it is a feather in our cap when our children spread their wings. It means we have done a good job and helped them to be independant. I agree with leanne-good job!

janet c

I am soooo very afraid also, my son lost his job and now is working at a low wage, has a beautiful 6 mo. old baby that we adore.........he told me if he can't find a decent job by feb., he is inlisting in the air force so he can have a house and a life for his fiance and his baby, i'm so devastated, i sometimes cannot think of life without my son in it!
it just isn't fair!

I'm very sorry you're feeling so low today. I've been in your shoes a few times. My oldest son graduated from High School and left for Marine Corps boot camp only three days later. I was beside myself for weeks and could barely funtion till I got his first letter in the mail saying he was OK. Flying out to San Diego was to watch him graduate was one of my proudest moments. He's now 38 and a police officer. He still makes me proud everyday.
My second to the youngest daughter got married and moved up to Montana six years ago. That seemed to be harder on my husband than it was on me. After she left, he layed on our bad and cried like a baby. It was heartbreaking. She now has two little boys and is going to school to be a nurse. It's always hard to see our grown kids leave, especially when it's not just a couple of hours away. All I can say is be strong. The tears will flow and your heart will ache. There's nothing you can do about that. Hopefully there will be visits or vacations often enough to ease your pain. I'll be thinking about you this weekend and praying for you.

2 sons....Many years ago my husband was transferred from Northern CA to Colorado Springs CO. We are now back in CA and very glad to be. We went full loop: CO, TX, AZ and then back to CA. I left both of my kids behind as they were grown and working. It was the most wrenching thing I have ever had to do but the job called for hubs and we had to go. Over the years I made sure we visited or had them visit with their spouses. The grand kids came along and I went and stayed with my daughter for two weeks both times when my grands were born. You go through an intense grieving period when you are separated like you are going to be from your one son. As time goes by, you will adjust and you will know you have done your job as a mother. He now has a wife and they are starting their life together as a couple. Soon, there may be grand children.

I understand your sadness. I know how hard it is. All I can say is, your son and his wife will still be in your life; just not in close proximity! They are moving but you will stay connected in various ways.

Hugs,
SusanC

I know how sad you must be! Empty nests at any age can be so difficult! I know it’s hard, but try to be happy for them. My sister made the horrible mistake of putting up a scene and making her daughter’s life hell (and she was only moving 5 miles away!). It was both embarrassing and tragic and has caused a rift in the family that will not soon mend.

Try to “fake it” until you make it. Promise yourself a good cry as the van pulls away and delaying some of the emotion may help you get through the worst of it. Write a simple note on her “wall” saying something like, “I pray many blessings follow you to your new home”.

This too shall pass. In time your heart will not hurt so much and you’ll be looking forward to visits and phone calls and there’s always staying in touch over the internet. Many families are spread out these days, and the internet is a fantastic way to keep in touch. Think of years ago when families were separated for one reason or other and there weren’t even phones! Sometimes it took letters months to get to their destination. It may be a small consolation right now, but you have to admit this new computer age has some advantages! (((hugs)))

I am so sorry - i think you probably feel more vulnerable about this because your husband is not well too.

Yes I think befriending the girlfriend on her website would actually encourage her to look favourably upon them visiting you more often.

I have 2 boys too and know it will be very hard when they leave home. At least your son is leaving to be happy and you do not have to worry about his safety - those are good things to think about. Tell them you are looking forward to visiting them in the future, that you will miss them but understand they want to do this. They will really appreciate that.

((((((((((((((2sons)))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry you are having an awful time with this and I can empathize. My daughter is leaving for Alaska on Oct 12th. I try not to think about it but it is with me everyday. She runs in my room every morning and says only ? days left until I leave.

She is so happy and I am so sad. Just know you are not alone. You will get through it, we will help!

Jeaninne

Thanks everyone for your suggestions and thoughts.......I am going to be so happy nobody will be able to knock the smile off my face no matter how sad I am (kind of like the Joker's smile, embedded in my face). Then on the drive home I will be crying the entire way home but that is ok cause nobody will know how I truly feel!

2 sons - i woke up thinking of you this morning. Do you have a webcam & does your son? I wonder if you could both agree to regularly chat over the internet on webcam. Will sort of be like seeing him

UPDATE -- OK, I did it.....I made it.....I cried just a little when we hugged goodbye, BUT my 12 yr old sobbed the entire time we had lunch, he didn't eat a bite, just sat and sobbed -- I felt so bad for him, and his big bro comforted him, it was so sweet. My body hurts from going up and down the stairs with heavy boxes helping them move, so I think I am more sore than sad at this moment! My mother in law gave my younger son a plane ticket to visit his big bro on the next school holiday, so that helped a little for him. I guess I am stronger than I give myself credit for, thank goodness =)

Squig - that is a fabulous idea, we are going to keep in touch on Skype so we can see each other:)

((((((((((((2sons))))))))))))))) I sorry you son moved so far away. A webcam is a great thing...I hope you can do that and keep in touch that way. It'll be great fun for you younger son too.

2sons; I'm glad you got through it. You are always a trooper! The webcam idea is a great one. Didn't you say he lived kind of far away even in California? Just think, with the webcam, you might "see" him even more often than when he was in the same state! And I'll bet your younger son will love being able to visit and see the mountains.

Hugs, Wits

2sons,

When my husband and I were much younger we moved to Colorado from Southern California. We only stayed 4 months and then we came back, not even thru one of their winters. We had a one year old and it broke my parent's hearts. You never know what the future holds. Maybe they won't like Colorado as much as they think they will. It is a nice place to visit but after So Cal it's very difficult to get used to the harsh winters. Hang in there.

DianaJJ

2sonsmom, I know exactly how you feel. When my daughter left and went 600 miles away, she took 2 of my grandkids away. It was heart wrenching! I was sad and hurt and angry. They were living with me at the time and I couldn't even help her pack. I was depressed for a long time over that, but I knew in my heart that she was making the right decision.

She is very independent, which truthfully is how we want them to be.

She calls me OFTEN, almost every time something happens with the kids, whether good or bad, I'm the one she calls.

We have the best relationship ever and I don't have to see their fussing and fighting.

2sons:

I am so happy you got through it. I feel terrible for you other son but he will pull through too and be so excited to go visit his brother.

Big hugs!!!!
Jeaninne

Oh, 2sons, that's great news. I'm so happy that you were able to get through it without getting so upset. It is hard to let them go I know but it gets better. I think it forces us to dig deep down and remember what we tried to teach our children all those years they were in our houses. We want them to be independent and make their own way in this world, right? After all, we won't always be here for them so it's imperative that they learn to stand on their own two feet and make their own decisions. I have a daughter who has been in Ohio now for over 5 years. I don't see her very often but we keep in touch with phone calls, texts, emails, IM, etc. My other daughter went to college in Colorado and I didn't see her except at Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring and summer break. Then she got married and moved to Massachusetts and then Ohio too. It was hard but we got through it. You will too and your younger son will be fine. He'll miss his big brother a whole bunch but if he can go to visit a couple times a year and your older son can come home once in awhile all will be ok. At least you have the ability to keep in touch real time as opposed to back in the old days when we only had snail mail. Are there any plans for a holiday visit? Perhaps you could go there for a few days around Christmas time? Anyway, I hope you are able to have some planned visits coming up so you have something really special to look forward to. It'll help to have some short term goals!
xoxo
Jan

hi texas!
the marine corps is one of the toughest.............my son is going air force due to the fact that there is no real, steady jobs around here, i just hope he is strong enough to deal with it all, if there was any way he could make a decent living around here, he'd be the best employee..........i am so happy for you that your son became what he has, i think, my son is going into the twilight zone, and i'll be at a total loss! it's just the unknown, ya know?