I thought therapist were supposed to help people, not make them feel more helpless than we already do. Yesterday I decided to speak to a therapist at Kaiser...not really sure why I did this, but I did. It was a BIG mistake. I went in feeling somewhat hopeful even though I am struggling terribly with depression.
During our conversation, she told me that she couldn't believe that I was still so depressed after 18 months and that I have resistant depression. She told me she hasn't seen any one suffering like me for so long and she has been doing this for over 20 years. She also told me that most people find an AD that works on the second or third try...I have tried five different Ad's with side effects I couldn't handle. I told her that I have tried fish oil and exercise also but am still suffering. And she acted so shocked because that treatment works really well for almost everyone. She didn't give me any tools that I might use or any hope that I would get better.
Well, I left her office and was crying hysterically by the time I reached my car. She had no idea how much her words hurt me and made me feel like there was no hope for me and I would have to live like this for the rest of my life.

Fortunately, a friend went with me because I don't think I could have driven myself anywhere after that experience.
I am still having a really tough time of it today because her words keep haunting me. What if I don't get better and this is all there is??? I have nothing if I don't have hope.

I guess I just need some comfort from my PS sisters.

Bev

Bev, I'm on my way out the door, so more later. But do NOT pay attention to that idiotic therapist. My experience with Kaiser psychos was AWFUL, until I did find one who was new to Kaiser who not only understood, but has been advocating for me and apologized on behalf of the bastard that told me to knock it off, quit complaining, get my ass back to work before I "f" up my kid (yes, his words exactly), that there was nothing wrong with me and that I should stop calling the doctors who had better things to do because there were patients who were REALLY sick! (I've got neurological lyme disease, in addition to going through peri.

Anyway, long story short, but I complained to the chief of psych and threatened to sue them, etc.., and they found someone terrific for me. Bottom line is that Kaiser is awful in general, but if you stand firm to them, you can find some good people. Tell that unethical biatch to take a hike and file a complaint, then find someone who will be there for you.

Get in touch any time. Love you sister...hand in there!!!

Cindy

I am sorry your therapist failed you so miserably. I don't know if all five of the AD's you tried were in the same class of drugs or not but there are a lot of choices that may suit you better. Not everyone does well on ssri's or snri's. Eighteen months does not seem like that long of a time period to declare someone treatment resistant. If the side effects of the medicine caused you to discontinue treatment early or caused you to be unable to reach a therapeutic level, than another class of medications may be necessary. Have you tried a nontypical antidepressant like Wellbutrin (bupropion) or any of the old standards like TCA's or tricyclics?
Please do not give up hope. The most important thing in this process is that you find the right therapist and she is NOT it. Also, has anyone drawn your vitamin D level?

Aaaah Bev,

So sorry you went through this.

It just amazes me how some people are allowed to practise in these fields,leaves me speechless.

I,m sure you will not continue to suffer as you are,and it would seem to me you are obviously sensitive to AD,s and just don,t suit you,as they don,t other,s either.

You are definatley no exception as from reading on here there are many who can,t take them.

Please don,t let this ridiculous remark upset you anymore,

I know it,s difficult,Ive had various looks and remarks passed to me from Dr,s,but just keep reading on here to ease your mind

YOU are not alone.

Take care

KathS

girl, that so called therpist probably has more problems than you, dont let it steal your peace, brush it off and move on, you probably had a high expectation for her and she turned out to be not help ful, i only seen one once and never again , use-less to me, if i want to tell some one my problems i come to this site and type, get more out of it then $150 an hr "dr" if your determent to see one remember the ole saying - you gotta kiss alot of frogs before you find your prince, ive also heard that men are more sensitive to woman in thrapy sessions than a woman dr..... good luck to you ,

Bev,
I'm so sorry your experience was so awful. How dreadful of her to speak to you in such a way and THEN fail to offer you an alternative option. I agree that there are many different AD's out there and unless you are switching from one to another every couple of weeks, you couldn't possibly have tried everything. Some people just have a harder time finding what works for them. Don't give up and most importantly, DON'T go back to that woman! She has a hellava nerve calling herself a therapist. Keep looking and you will find the right therapist and the right AD. Hang in there Sweetie, we're all here for you!
xoxo
Jan

My dear Bev.
Am very sorry you were treated so badly.She sounds a real piece of work.Some Therapist!Probably needs help herself and is bitter.
There are many people who have depression and ADs do not work for them so she should no better than to spout this rubbish.Let me know where she lives and I will go and hit her over the head.
What comes to mind is group counselling where you will find acceptance from others who are Med.resistant and perhaps learn some news ways of coping.My friend in Switzerland has had great success with this as also received no relief from any AD.
You will get better,honey.I honestly do believe that.It is a struggle but you come here and share.
Do you take anything for Anxiety?as this is the precursor of Depression.It might just take the edge off.
Also short walks and Yoga.The breathing Techniques that you are taught really help as most of us breathe very shallowly so the mind and body get off balance.

Never give up hope,please.Most of us here have been to Hell and back but have managed to push through.Keeping leaning on your Sisters.We are all behind you.

You are in my Prayers
Please keep coming back
Warm Hugs
Elizabeth

Don't you just hate it when professionals try to squeeze you into their definition of what is "normal"? Like blood tests. You are supposed to have this blood pressure norm, this blood sugar norm; this cholesterol norm, etc. Just like a 20-year old. We aren't 20-year-olds; we are in our mid life years. Isn't there a norm for that, given what the insides of our bodies have grown into?

Sweetie-I can't bear that you have been treated like that! Don't take any notice of the silly old bat-she had no right to say that to you and its all rubbish anyway!
I am like you-I can't take anti-depressants. Their side effects can actually make you feel worse can't they?

I know someone has probably already suggested this-(or you have already tried it )but have you thought of St. John's Wort?
It is the only thing I can take for depression and it really works for me and very fast too!. Don't listen when people say it doesn't work-it DOES. In Germany doctors recognise it as an effective drug treatment for depression and prescribe it to their patients. The side effects-if any- are so mild and it is not addictive.

Sorry if you have already been down that road and I am not helping but I can't bear to hear your story and not put my experience to you. My blood is boiling!

janet c

Bev,

That must have been so discouraging. I can identify with you completely. I have not been happy with the sensitivity or rather lack thereof of the Kaiser Dr.s either. I've been down that road. I now pay out of pocket to get what I need which is annoying since I pay for insurance. Also, they have their own formularies for meds, so they may stick with certain ones that are covered by the plan you are on. I am on Lexapro which would not be covered under RX drugs within my copay (plus I know there is no generic) and I would have to pay full price...nice huh? I was a blubbering mess when I came to their office and left their offices feeling just the same if not worse. I have walked your walk and if it gives you hope, I am feeling better (care of Lexapro and Xanax) and I felt hopeless too. I am sure though that there are Dr.s within Kaiser that are good, you just have to keep trying until you find one that clicks with you or if you have the means find someone to go to and pay out of pocket. I am so sorry you continue to feel so terrible and I know it is hard to want to keep pushing on, but, please keep trying because you deserve to feel better. I know once you process this you will realize that just because some people are in the so called "helping" professions, they are just people and like any of us some are good at their jobs and some are not. She clearly was not. Her bad behavior is no reflection on you and you are not "failing" at this and you have to believe that, she failed you. Keep your faith up and keep reaching out to your friends here. We will hold you up as long as you need us to. Big hugs, Mich

Bev,
I had a similar experience a few years ago when peri first began for me. i was a complete mess, full of fear because i didnt know what was wrong with me at the time and i was terrified that i would be forced to take AD's or i wouldnt live. i went to a woman counselor and i kept asking her if she thought i was going to get over this or if i was too far gone. she would never even throw me a crumb of hope. she would always say things that would make me even more scared, on purpose, i suspect just to make sure i would be back next week.i caught on to her little plan after about the 3rd or 4th visit and never went back.
i also want to tell you that it is a proven fact that people who are depressed will NATURALLY come out of it on their own, untreated. i wish i could remember where i found that info, or where i saw it on tv, but im sure you can find it on the web somewhere. Depression is limited in its time it has a hold on you.
also i totally agree that you should try the st.johns wort and also get some 5-htp to take with it. do a search for it and read. i took 5-htp a few times and it was a miracle how it made me feel after just 2-3 days and only at 50mg. per day. thats a low dose. keep us posted and please try not to be afraid, you're really going to be fine. there ARE options out there and one of them is bound to work, time is the sure thing.

Thank you, each and every one of you for all of your support. Thanks to you guys, I am feeling better about that experience. Isn't Kaiser great though!!! I will only go to see the Psychiatrist there from now on. I actually like him and he sees so many options for me and is willing to work with me on this stuff if I ever work up the courage to try another AD that is. He actually told me that he thinks my thyroid and hormones have alot to do with this and ordered some blood tests for me. That was the day before I saw the" sea-hag ".
What gets me about this woman is that she comes across so caring and kind and sweet. Maybe that is how she keeps her patient load down, by making people feel so bad about themselves that they will never go back. Well it sure worked for me.
You are all the greatest friends a person could have and I wish you all lived close by so I could give you all a great big hug. I read all of your posts to my husband and he was quite impressed.

Love you all,
Bev

Sweet merciful crap, Bev........that is AWFUL.....

Will it sound contrite if I say that you only need ONE good one? That not all therapists are the same? That I encourage you to keep searching for a T that helps you?

I have my current T for 2 years now, and we have been through a lot together as therapist and client.......the uncertainty of my bipolar dx in 2007, the uncertainty of my health until dx with peri 5 months ago........the lack of true psychological disease when I battled with mental illness 15 years ago......

My psychologist has been instrumental in "keeping me together" through all this trauma........she knows little about the science or effects of peri.......but we work together to understand........know that I understand that I am very fortunate to have her.

My psychiatrist has tried me on 3 AD,s in the last 2 years all to only make me feel worse........and they were the same ADs I have had before and worked a treat........who knows? So, Bev, I know how you must feel.......abandoned, grieving, afraid.......for that is how I felt.

Please do not give up on the idea......please keep searching for someone to help you.........as psychotropic drugs do not work for me anymore........is it because there is the absence of true psychological disease? I do not know, for it seems the ADs work marvelously for some which is GREAT......

Take good care my sweet........and the biggest hugs........do not give up, for when you find the right one, it will make a BIG difference.....

Michah

Dear Bev
Am so glad you are feeling alittle better
Love that name 'Sea-hag'.All sugar and spice but poisonous in the middle!
Am really happy that you have met a Psychiatrist who is going to work with you.There are some wonderful people out there who really care.It is just finding that one person and never giving up!
Please keep us informed!
Warm Hugs and Blessings
Elizabeth

Bev,

I am so sorry that you were talked to in such a manner. At this time in our lives we need to be around POSITIVE uplifting people. Here you were going to her for help and she just made you feel worse. Sounds similar to the majority of the 18 doctors I have been to over the past year, all of whom I have fired but one. If they do not treat us with respect and kindness and compassion, they definitely do not need to be dealing with women in meno. We need all the support we can get right now, not to be made to feel worse and put down so.

I hope that you will find someone who is totally on your side. It is NOT your fault that you are going through this and NOT your fault that you cannot tolerate the meds you have tried. Hormonal flux is just a phase we are going through right now. It does not define the person that we are. I realize this and keep telling myself this even though I am still struggling. Please keep on hanging on and gathering support from your sisters here on PS.

lots and lots of hugs and love,
mood_swinger

That T sounds abusive to me. if the fruit is not good on the tree? Well, it is time to move on

When I was first entering this peri cr*p, i started going to the dr. My bp was starting to elevate. The male dr told me that i was going to have a stroke. Everytimes I saw this dr, I felt more anxiety than when I went im. the man was poison. I finally got it through my head to stay away from him. I am letting God deal with that man!

I've gone to therapists over the years and always left thinking "wow they have no clue either.. they just give me pyscho babble feedback...

So just this week, I began, AGAIN!!!!, and after I left the office of a very pleasant woman who had such an accent I had to keep asking her "excuse me?", I thought: ENOUGH!!! I know more of what is eating me than I can ever verbalize SOOOOO I decided to get off my own proverbial emotional arse and get going in the direction that I am heading and shake off the fears of failure, of discontent, of "why me's" and move forward before it's too late....

I know a lot of people get some fabulous help from therapy but sometimes, I think we find ourselves in front of people who are just as confused as we are and are counting the minutes until our hour with them is up....

Sorry, I'm sounding cyncial but the responses I got from this lastest therapist left me feeling like all of them have the same book and each patient gets reguritated comments according to their complaint.....guess the true healing comes from deep within ourselves and NO ONe but ourselves have access to that....

momz

I remember when I was having such a hard time. I thought I was going crazy, had Alzheimer's, some terrible disease (who knew what), I was experiencing DP, and etc. My thoughts would race, I had night sweats, and migraines, and etc. & etc. With all of the stress of daily life, I was a mess, and almost non-functional. I wish that I would have found power-surge soon. It would have saved me a lot of wasted time and heartache.

When I started on bios, it was like a 24 hour cure. (my hormone regiment is very different from most of the others) Instead of fuzzy thinking and barely coping, my thoughts were razor sharp. I could suddenly do everything that I used to do. My problems stemmed from hormones. I was seriously lacking in them sometimes...other times they would go overboard. No wonder I felt like I was ill! Mentally and Physically!

What I really think would help, (of course balancing your homones being number 1,) is to get Lucinda Bassett's tapes. You can pick them up on Ebay. Please google her. She gives you "coping" techniques. She helps you to take charge of your thoughts and actions. She gives you tools, along with sound, practical advice. In the long run, I think that they will be cheaper.

Personally, I am not a big fan of therapist. After my friend went to one, she "discovered" that she hated her beloved Mom. LOL! The therapist picked out many tiny events and made a big deal about them. Finally my friend realized that she loved her mother dearly and her family, too. However, for months, she cut herself off from her wonderful family, needlessly.
In saying that, if you could find a great therapist, then I might become a fan of them. ...one who would pinpoint problems quickly and then give you the needed advice/tools to deal with them.

By the way, many people choose to be therapist because they have deep problems. LOL! They think that by helping others, they will "save" themselves. Be sure that you interview them. Ask what course of treatment that they recommend. See if you like where they are going. I'm sure that a therapist is like buying a pair of jeans....you might have to try on a few before you get the right fit.

Best wishes,
Shebee

Dear Bev,
Don't accept that negative report!!!!!! About 2 summers ago I posted a similar experience after visiting a therapist. I was having so much anxiety/depression, that I thought I was going to die. She told me that I very well could die and that this kind of stress is just too much on the body and that one of my systems would surley shut down! I left that office gasping for air and crying hysterically in my car. That woman should have her license revoked and your therapist needs the same. You don't compare patients with other patients at a visit. Don't listen to her garbage. She needs your business and so if she can make you feel any worse than you do now, it just locks you into her treatment for a very long time and a large sum of $$$$$$$$$. These stupid people out there calling themselves councelors. Quite frankly, if we had an inside view into most of their private lives, we would see some very screwed up people who need counceling worse than we do! Close the door to that message of hers and shake the dust off your feet and move on quickly. You WILL GET BETTER. Time is on your side and the fact that you are still trying to find answers shows your still in the sensible game of life friend. Hugs to you.......Debra

Wow. If someone had told me that when I first started telling people how I was feeling, I probably wouldn't have believed I'd ever see the sun again. What a load of crap that woman laid on you.

I've been depressed off and on for nearly 5 years and am only now starting to feel better! (And I'll probably feel like s*** again once my period comes next week.)

Keep the faith, Bev. There is no set "time line" ... how could they're be? We're all different!

xo

Sukie