An ache comes along and I'm sure it's fatal.

I just turned 53 and I am so depressed. I feel like my best years are behind me. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to.

I feel nervous and panicky most of the time. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I can't count on friends--so many have deserted me over the years I guess I'm just afraid to reach out anymore. The days are getting shorter and I can't seem to handle it at all this year.

I know some of this is hormonal, but perhaps old crap is rearing its head too.

I am in therapy, but I guess I should have started sooner so I'd be more "along" with it already.

How do I stop the sad thoughts and the fatalistic thinking???? I'm great at giving advice, but not great at self pep-talks and affirmations....

I wrote this I swear!

THIEF!

OK I won't be 53 until Dec >

Hey my therapist retired> my fault I'm sure

It was either retired or become a jumper> after hearing my complains!

Hugs Booky! I totally right there with you!!!!!!

ahhhhh ((((((booky))))) what helped for me (and actually turned me around!!) was to just live in the present. I don't compare myself anymore to the way I was in my 20's (or 30's or 40's!! yikes!!) I just try to be the best I can be for that moment.

People let us down because we love, and because we're emotionally driven. I could write a book on emotional pain, and loss, but I had to just let it GO. I just can't get bogged down in other's emotional drama. What's that old saying? "If you knew how little others thought about you…you wouldn’t worry so much about what others think about you."

The best years are only behind you if you want them to be. You have so much to give, were all just a work in progress, so keep going!!

Giving back always helps me get out of my funks. Not sure you have any time leftover in your busy week, but have you thought of volunteering somewhere? I use to read to pre-schoolers at the local library on Sat mornings. They LIFTED my heart.

Hang in there my friend. I didn't mean to ramble, just wanted to give you a big HUG and let you know that there is LIGHT at the end of the tunnel one step at a time.

Thank you Snowy and Leanne.

Being this way truly stinks!!

I kind of like my rut> pathetic I know!

Maybe i can learn to like mine, too....

you get tired of fighting it but I find myself very bored> living in the past> playing the what if game!

My rut is very comfie, it has my favorite pillows, my laptop and my TV and some books on the nightstand...oh and my cell phone which I pretty much text on only. I can burrow in there completely emeshed in the rutness (is that even a word) of it all. I know what to expect each day.... I know kind of pathetic. Though, I am venturing out of my rut tomorrow with a friend....I actually made a plan and plan to stick with it. Even though I am not all whoooo hoooo about it. I'm only doing it so I don't have to be turned for bedsores, lol....

I don't know girls, it is what it is, we do what we do and we try to make sure we keep our eye on the exit sign so that we don't get stuck in this rut forever. This too shall pass, one foot in front of the other as necesssary and as you are able. At least for me.

Take care,
Mich

My dear Bookworm...

You don't.


I believe that you are in "life review." Life review is a time in our life that we look back over things. It happens many times to us. A death, a betrayal, having a baby, getting old, and etc. can throw us into this miserable state. It's really not a bad place to be because it gives us an opportunity to effect changes.


Many times old hurts come up. We can do a few things with these.

Push them back down....

Put them back on the shelf, or confront them head on and deal with them.

The choice is yours.




If you choose to push them back down or put them on a shelf, it's ok, but remember that they will come up again and again...until you deal with them.
In life review, we go through the "death" type feelings. You know...denial, angry....acceptance (& etc.) How fast you go through this process is up to you.



Ok....were old...we have had crummy friends....we don't feel like exerting the effort to reach out at this point. Big deal.
(Actually, it is a big deal!)

Depression is a choice. Usually depression seeps in because of unresolved angry or due to situations that we feel that we do not have any control over. Our hormones also play a part, but look to the women who are suffering and they still seem serene. Don't you wonder HOW they do it?

When you have terrible thoughts you can choose to entertain them or kick them out.
However, I have noticed that there is some perverse pleasure in dwelling on them.

I would suggest that you punish yourself when a bad thought arises. For every bad though, you must say two wonderful thoughts OUT LOUD. Believe me, this is very effective. Soon your mind will start refusing to dwell on the bad. It takes a strong will and discipline to do this to your self, but the results are amazing! Just make a commitment and try it for a few days.

LOL! Life has a funny way of changing our actions and thoughts. It's ok to shut down for a while. Just like the seasons, our life has seasons, too. They are ever changing. This is a time to decide what you really like doing. Then just step out and start doing them. (before you die....LOL!) Life is really fun or can be, if you let it. I don't think that you are ready for BINGO, just yet. Hang in there...and just do one little thing that makes you happy...even if you have to force yourself to do it.

Best wishes,
Shebee

Shebee, You've just reminded my of what a wise woman you are. Interestingly, I find that I try to do just what you've suggested and it does work most of the time. I just didn't know I was doing it! I'm still standing and still laughing because of it. Thanks for the affirmation.