I'm dealing with perimenopause as best I can. Apparently the Lexapro has adjusted itself and my libido has come roaring back.

Problematically, my 41-year-old husband has seemed to lose interest in sex except for . . .well, oral sex. I think it's because he cannot maintain an erection reliably for anything else. (This has been going on for some time, even before surgery triggered the full-on peri monster).

I've been to see a doc about my issues and things are improving, but his "issues" are . . . well, not something we talk about.
To bring it up seems like an attack on his masculinity.

He is a good man, a good provider, and I love, respect and admire him very much, but I miss actual sex right now terribly. Any ideas on how to gently urge him to see a doc?

Getting a man to see a doctor? Good luck!!

No man wants to admit he has a problem.

Exactly ....and it's a hard subject to discuss without seeming critical.Everytime i would try to talk about it,we would end up in an argument...he would assume i just wasn't happy with him......
Is he on any meds?I googled the blood pressure med. my hubby was on(atenolol) and one of the side effects was impotence...he asked to be switched to a different one and it made a huge difference......

I agree about the meds! At 41 he should still be ready to go, unless he has a weight issue, smokes, or is on meds.

My husband who never had a problem went on BP meds, and a statin at 55. 2 weeks later he was having problems. Fortunately I didn't have to say a word, he knew immediately. He went to the Dr., got a new BP med, and well... now at 62 he's still going strong!

My husband is on testosterone creme, he may just need a little. Tell him to say away from the patches they can cause horrid skin irritation.

my husband needs a boatload of testosterone............it seems............ so do I...........say no more...............

I had thought about sneaking a little!