just wondering , if you could go back and change one thing in your life what would it be? mine is easy i was married so young (17) and had kids right away and had my tubes tied at 21- i would not have it done if i could go back, i remarried a great guy who has no kids and would of been a great father, i also never been the same since my tubal, i blame my early peri on my tubal, and after reading about " post tubal syndrome " i did it to my self !!!! and a close 2nd would be not finishing my education, if only we had a magic wand !!!

I would have listened to my Mom and not married the jerk I did !!!!

That's a tough one...there a few things. I would have went to college instead of worrying about my boyfriend.

Run away from home at 18 yrs old and joined the Peace Corps, freeing myself from the dysfunctional family dynamics I was entrenched in...or at least gone to college, far, far away.....

Regrets: the saddest word in the English language.....

I would say marrying my exhusband was my biggest regret but then I try not to think about it because he gave me my one an only beautiful son

Wow, there are definitely many things I would change if "I only knew then what I know now" but I guess the thing I would change if I could only change one thing would be, I'd make sure I hadn't given up on my marriage like I did. I would have pushed harder for counseling or something to try to fix what was broken. Maybe things would have turned out differently if I had.

Worried less about what everyone thought of me and trying to please others. Oh wait, I can still change that LOL!

I have no regrets about my marriage as we are still together happily at age 55. I do have personal regrets though about not finishing my education and having a professional career.

There is no reason not to finish one's education, even if it's by taking only one class at a time. However, it helps to wait until POST-menopause.

During peri, I wasn't able to hold a simple thought in my head! It's good to feel that I'm "thinking straight" again.

(((HUGS)))

JJ

Oh, and as far as regrets: What Rendy Said!!!

My biggest regret is that I took my children's childhood for granted and now they're all grown with kids of their own. I was so young and the years flew by. I didn't realize I should have SAVORED EVERY MOMENT. I really miss being a MOMMY to a houseful of noisy, happy children running around!

Never would have had a Hystrectomy.If I only knew....

DITTO!!
Not too late, Rendy, I have slowly has changed my attitude on this matter and I can see it working just fine to my advantage.
I wish I have done it before.
Hugs,
I.

oh i can relate to this one too, it makes me cry:(

I think I would have changed a couple of things, one cutting my ties completely with my mom when I got married the first time at 15. The other would have been the abusive household.

But these days, when I think about changing something, I am not sure I would change a thing because all of the things big and little that I went through brought me to where I am today and I would not change that for anything in the world!!!!

I am like Jeaninne above in that all the mistakes I made brought to where I am today. That said, my list would way too long of things I would have changed with the caveat that I still get to have my two sons and my current husband. I would have liked to have grown up with a Mom and Dad in a loving home. Just that one change probably would have changed a lot. I figure given what my childhood was like and my adulthood, I did fairly decent at the end of the day. I always wonder what I could have been with just that one difference in my life. My own family who loved and protected me. Oh, well I am where I am supposed to be and other than this meno go round I am on I have a good life.

I wish I could go back and not be such a nervous wreck. Anxiety ruled so much of my life that I feel I missed out on so many things because of it. It makes me damned angry!!

Two that come to mind right away --

1) I would not have wasted so much of my life in a relationship with a married man -- 15 years! A lot of those years we had some fun times, but I spent every holiday alone and always had to see him on his schedule, not mine. He DID findally leave his wife...and me -- for another woman. I wonder if I would be alone now, had I not stayed with him and dated more.

2) I would have gone to a university with more choices. I was scared to leave home (had a bad case of social anxiety -- still do, but it's controlled somewhat now), so I went to a college close by. Since I've been out in the world, I've discovered a love for geography, environmental science and meteorology, none of which were offered at the college I attended. Any of those may have prepared me for a career. The one I chose -- Fine Arts -- only prepared me for small talk while standing in the unemployment line.

I wished that would have had more confidence and not wasted SO many years on useless relationships that dragged me down time and time again, instead I hanged on thinking they would all love me eventually......especially the boyfriend before my husband...he tore my heart out and I have never recovered.

or hung on.....(and I should have done So much better at school too, especially my english!!!!)

My life has been fantastic with no regrets except for years of horrible PMS. I now that I am in peri, and have done a ton of research, and realize that I have been low in estrogen FOREVER. Perhaps if I had hormone testing done in my 20's, I wouldn't have been such a rage-filled "b" every month.

Thankfully, I was blessed with a VERY tolerant husband.

Mary

[quote name='Texasgirl' date='Aug 29 2009, 05:39 PM' post='306717']
My biggest regret is that I took my children's childhood for granted and now they're all grown with kids of their own. I was so young and the years flew by. I didn't realize I should have SAVORED EVERY MOMENT. I really miss being a MOMMY to a houseful of noisy, happy children running around!
[/quote

This is one of mine too!!

worked harder in school, believed in myself more...

I too had a tubal ligation at 21yrs after 2 children and was never the same again...I have strongly suspected that there was some link to the
harrowing meno I have been suffering for far to long and the tubal ligation. I never realized there was actually a syndrome associated with
tubal ligation until I read it here...I have googled this info and I am now digesting what I have found out. It now all makes sense to me
as to everything I suffered since undergoing this procedure. I even had two D&C. I am so upset that no doctor ever associated all my issues and
symptoms over the years with tubal ligation. I speculated once to a gyno that I felt this was the problem but was dismissed with that all knowing
attitude that many doctors have. For a profession that is so scientific they sure are narrow minded to possibilites...
Since this "tubal ligation syndrome" has come to light for me I would have to say that his is one of the major issues I would go back and undo
if I could. It affected so many aspects of my life. I am so upset about this right now that I don't know what I feel....

be well, be aware

I had a tubal ligation at 34 and I can't say that I have suffered any more or less because of it. I am having some peri issues that seemed to hit me mostly this year (I turned 50). I did have heavy bleeding in my middle late 40's, but, it seems that many women have that that didn't have a tubal. I am curious as to what symptoms you attribute to the tubal ligation? I have also read about tubal ligation syndrome. I also wish I didn't have it as I married such a wonderful guy (I was with a guy who had some real issues at the time and I had one child with him and I had an older son with my first husband) and he would is a great person and I would love to have had a child with him (even though it was iffy as I was 46 when I met him so I was pushing it anyways in terms of my age.) So, I guess in a way I'm glad I had the tubal because I would probably have seriously considered it, lol. Now, though feeling the way I have felt this last year thank goodness I spared my poor "maybe baby" a mommy who can't see straight some days. I couldn't and don't want to have to nurture a baby right now, seems like that gene sorta disappeared recently. I used to just melt when I saw a baby, just wanted to have another one so bad when I met my current husband. That feeling....... gone, gone, gone. I enjoy my baby niece and nephews in little doses and that works just fine for me now.

For starters I had never suffered from PMS prior to tubal ligation. I also developed heavy bleeding and very painful periods.
Also very shortly after I started to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. I developed IBS. I started getting migraines. This all began right after tubal,
in my twenties and for the most part the symptoms were premenstrual. Things kept getting worse and by the time I hit peri at 42 I was symptom
free maybe 1 week a month. I had the kind of tubal that is irreversible. The tube is cut, a piece is removed and the two ends are burnt. I can't say
if menopause would have been easier without the tubal but I did suffer hormone imbalance since my twenties and that I attribute to the tubal .

I forgot to mention that I suffered with very heavy bleeding for about 5yrs. I had 2 DC's to try and correct the problem. I consulted
a reflexologist who after 1mth of treatment was able to at least rebalance that problem. The heavy bleeding and painful cramps never returned.
I can say that was not a symptom I suffered in peri even though it is quite common.

I'm sorry you suffered so much. I didn't notice much of anything that I can recall after the tubal. Maybe the heavy bleeding/flooding I experienced in my middle/late 40's, also was very tired (probably because of anemia I later found out I had). Don't recall being exceptionally moody and I was with a man who was a substance abuser and a emotional/physical abuser. I never had cramps even with the heavy periods, didn't before the TL nor after either. Maybe I was just on auto pilot and in survival mode or have some kind of high tolerance for cr@p, lol who knows. Perhaps that is why peri hit me so hard this year. Married a wonderful guy 4 years ago and maybe I subconsciously realized I could finally let go and fall a part a little, lol. I know my tubal was irreversible as well, I don't believe they tied the tubes. It's been 16 years since I had the TL. I know that many women who have had TL do attribute some of their terrible hormonal issues to it. Who am I to say otherwise. All I know is I can't say for sure any of my hormonal stuff is tied (excuse the pun) to the TL but I'm certainly not saying yours aren't.

I wouldn't have worked so hard for nothing. If I could go back, I'd say no and let them do their own work.

I also wonder do you think peri/menopause goes on longer if you've had tubal ligation? Do you think it takes longer to go through menopause because of it? Mich

I have been wondering this myself but cannot prove it one way or the other. All I can say is that in retrospect ,knowing what I know and what I
have suffered I would not do it again. In my opinion anything that blocks energy or blood flow in the body, as tubal ligation does, is not a
good idea. I have just become aware today that it actually causes a syndrome of which I had many symptoms. I thought I was imagining that it could be related to the tubal for the last 34yrs.....
I think that if you developed "tubal ligation syndrome" after undergoing the procedure you may have a harder time with menopause because so many
of the symptoms are like meno and we all know that peri/meno tends to intensify preexisting conditions.

For myself, I can't say I suffered from TLS after I had it. I felt fine afterwards. Maybe not all women suffer from it. Is that also possible? If that is possible, I wonder what the difference is that would make one person suffer from it and another person not. I never gave it much thought. I did stumble across a site regarding this a year or so ago but it appeared that many women almost went through the h#ll that some women actually went through going through a hysterectomy. In that same case, some women suffer and others don't. It's all so curious and random how we are all so different and yet being women so much is the same.

I had a tubal at 24, and stopped my periods at 48. I can't recall a single negative thing about getting a tubal. It was the best thing I ever did. It is curious tho, like you posted, how different and yet the same we are.

Absolutely, not all women suffer from tubal ligation syndrome.....just as not all women suffer from peri/meno (they have no idea how lucky
they are!!!) get cancer from Hrt ,have hot flashes etc etc...
Genetics,side effects and environment aside, perhaps the method used to perform the tubal or hysterectomy is a factor in terms of damage caused to the
ovaries and tissue...???

Could very well be. I'm feeling the effects of peri that's for sure, but, I just think I'm lucky THAT way, lol.... NOT!!

I would not have left my ex. I have been haunted every day for the last 25 years. I also wish that I had saved money and not bought so much junk.