I'M AT MY WITS END HERE!!!!

I am married to a man who enjoys naturism, I have just found out {accidently} that he is offering lifts to the people on the forum he visits, one offer was to a woman!!!! I have huge self esteem issues and this has GUTTED ME!!

I feel like leaving, he cannot UNDERSTAND why I'm so upset!!!!!

Who else would be gutted??

I'm devastated!!!

So your husband is a nudist, does he just do this at home or does he actually go to nudist clubs? Also, why is he offering lifts to anyone? I'm not sure of the nature of your marriage, do you get along well in general. Has he ever done anything to make you distrust him. Your self esteem issues aside is your marriage strong? I probably would not appreciate my husband offering rides to other women who weren't at the very least a mutual friend of ours. If my husband was visiting forum and offering rides to basically strangers I think I would be pissed off too.

I'm sorry you are in pain.

Take care,
Mich

sorry bout that- when you say lifts do you mean rides?

Thanks for the replies.

Yes he is offering people that don't have cars a lift to a nudist area.

Usually our marriage is strong but once the weather starts to warm up I get nervous because I know he will want to go to these places. I was brought up in a strict household where nudity was a big no no. He can't seem to understand why I get so upset! I am rather overweight and have been on this menopause roller coaster for quite awhile now.

I signed into the group he is with because I knew his sign in password that's when I realised he was offering people a lift.

The last person he offered a lift to was a women!!! I'M FURIOUS! he knows I'm VERY uncomfortable about it and to find out this way has shattered my trust in him.

I know he is not interested in these people sexually but there's no way I can get my head around the fact he'll be seeing them in the raw!! I'll be thinking I'm being compared to them!

I have threatened to take our son, who is 14 and move out! I feel like I cannot trust him now after 16 years of marriage.

When we first got together he made NO mention of this lifestyle, I just feel like I have been kicked in the guts!

I retaliated by saying some pretty dreadful things but I just felt so damn hurt.

Just offloading on here makes me feel a little better, thanks again for the replies....

What I don't understand is if a person is not into this for sexual reasons, why can't they just go naked at HOME???? This makes no sense to me at all!! Oh, now I get it, they like to feel the wind on their back. Get a privacy fence and do it at home. Can anyone explain this?

I never understood the whole nudity lifestyle. I just don't get it. I want people to wear clothes!!

sorry you are dealing with this

Being a nudest and sexuality have nothing in common. People who are nudests do not do this for any kind of "sexual" thrill. It is just a chosen lifestyle that makes them feel unencombered. If I had the bod (which I don't) I would do it too. I would be more concerned about the "rides" thing than they nudy thing. WHY is he offering rides? Is he bored? Lonely? Does he work or is he retired. Could just be he's making friends. If you went with him in the buff people are not going to look any differently at you naked than if you were fully clothes. If this is your husbands "hobby" persay and you feel insecure I would suggest trying it with him at least once. Then you'll know what is real and what is not and you can make a much more informed decision on how you should be feeling.

Has he offered rides to club members other than this woman? I would feel some consolation if he has offered rides to men & women alike. On a day trip to St. Marten we were told of a beach (Orient?) where to members are nude. Although, we decided not to go there, we were told that the people that should NOT be naked, are the ones that are unclothed. I would imagine it would be very liberating and unsexual. Just not my cup of tea.

Question: If there is absolutely NOTHING sexual about it whatsoever, what difference does it make what kind of bod you have? Guess I'm not getting it. We are sexual beings. I just can't believe there is nothing sexual about it.

I would be curious to know how HE would feel if YOU do the same thing he is doing??

Ladybugs, I somewhat disagree with your first statement, but completely agree with the rest of it!

I will admit that I have experienced this type of lifestyle in my past, long ago. So, I speak from experience. I would guess that about 75% of nudists visit &/or join these clubs because they want to be unencumbered with clothes during the hot summer months, and other reasons such as: it is simply wonderful to swim nude, no tan lines, enjoying nature, parties/cookouts, kids having other kids to play with. All good stuff. By the way, nudists will tell you that women wearing bikinis or provocative clothing are much more sexy than nude women. (women wear bikini bottoms during their periods)

Now the bad. I would guess that more or less 25% are people who are interested in the "swinging" lifestyle: switching partners. Also, there has been a problem at some clubs with pedophiles. An awful thought. Men who go without their wives are the minority. It's against the rules in some clubs.

I would also mention that there might be only a few gorgeous, shapely people at these clubs. Just like in "real life" you will see many overweight people and wrinkled, elderly folks. Just people of all shapes and sizes. There are the women who are modest about the way they sit and lounge at the public areas, and there are extrovert, aggressive women who show off their privates, have provocative piercings, flirt with men, you know the type!

Elder, I think you should think about giving it a try. It's expected that first time visitors will be nervous about undressing. You could have a big beach towel handy to wrap up in. Alternatively, nudists wear clothes in the evening when it's cool and the mosquitoes come out., so, perhaps you could go for a night party and get a feel for what type of people attend this park/club. I don't think you should assume the worse about your husband until you witness it yourself.

Hang in there.

I gave up on trying to work men out a long time ago

Hummmm I'm with TidalWaves on this one. If it's not sexual at all, then why the need to leave the house? Why the need to be around OTHER naked people?? AND especially if your husband is giving rides. I mean WHY?? Unless it's to see them naked? He's not even doing it for social reasons.

I don't know enough about it to KNOW... but if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck... it's a DUCK!

I would imagine as much as there are peepers and pedophiles and preditors in the "clothed" world they are going to be in the nudest lifestyle as well yet nobodys seems overly concerned about the ones in the "clothed" world...only the groups who stand out. I'm sorry but I don't think the "nudity part should even be an issue. I'd be more focused on what kind of people are in this group. On the norm I bet it has all walks of life. It's simply a lifestyle girls...just like joining a golf club imho.

OK, whatever you say, but they would have to be asexual human beings IMO. All kinds of bells and whistles are gonna go off in me if I see naked people walking around. Whether I'm repulsed by it or turned on by it.

Golf clubs get together to play golf. There's a sport involved. It's different imho.

I'm with ladybugs on this one. I think the commonality is the fact they like to be naked. I do believe not everyone has the best of intentions when they join a nudist club but think the majority probably just enjoy the feeling of being naked. I could definitely get into the swimming naked thing but not the looking at everybody's junk.

Thanks for all your replies!!

Well we have sorted out the problem now thank goodness, If I had read the whole thread I would have seen that it's common in the group to offer carpooling, that way it saves people money. He hadn't realised that the last person he replied to was a woman as up until that point it was all blokes

So I re-read the post and saw that it was all innocent, but because I have huge self esteem issues I chose to go ballistic and put my mouth into gear before my brain!

I know he loves it because it gives him a sense of freedom, he said when he gets everything off it's like taking off all his worries. I know he has absolutely no interest in the opposite sex, other than me of course LMAO!

He told me he was so very sorry that he has caused me angst and he couldn't apologise enough.

He has never given me any reason to doubt him and I know it has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

I went with him once and stayed clothed and was amused to see it was actually people older and larger than myself!
I was brought up to be modest though and the thought of getting my kit off in front of strangers mortifies me!

So it's all good and we understand each other once again.

Thanks all for the replies

WHEWWWWWWWW!!!

I know you must be very relieved!

I don't even know you and I am!

Me too! I know the worry that comes from the doubt and the wondering. I'm so relieved he's not up to something and that they've worked it out. I'm also really glad "elder" went with him once to see what it's all about. That should do wonders to ease her mind. Perhaps she should go with him more often and shed SOME of her clothes and just cover up the private bits so she could try to experience the freedom that he feels. Perhaps it's something they could do together and it might open up her horizons a bit.

[quote name='runr' date='Aug 25 2009, 12:31 PM' post='306000']
!

I will admit that I have experienced this type of lifestyle in my past, long ago. So, I speak from experience. I would guess that about 75% of nudists visit &/or join these clubs because they want to be unencumbered with clothes during the hot summer months, and other reasons such as: it is simply wonderful to swim nude, no tan lines, enjoying nature, parties/cookouts, kids having other kids to play with. All good stuff. By the way, nudists will tell you that women wearing bikinis or provocative clothing are much more sexy than nude women. (women wear bikini bottoms during their periods)


There are the women who are modest about the way they sit and lounge at the public areas, and there are extrovert, aggressive women who show off their privates, have provocative piercings, flirt with men, you know the type!


Just what I would want to have taught my kids-----how to play with naked friends. They did just fine (thank you very much) playing with kids who wore clothes.

I've gone to plenty of parties/cookouts in my lifetime---enjoyed and still do enjoy nature---and really don't care about tan lines all that much and I've done all of this with my clothes on.

Sitting either spread-eagled or with your legs "demurely" crossed while naked doesn't smack of modesty to me at all. Naked is naked and in my HMO that is not even near modest.

I'm not passing judgement on nudists. If that's what they like then so be it. But I really can't equate it with modesty or decency on any level.

Donna

Yes, dcamp, I would have problems with chiildren who are allowed to play with other children while naked. Adults MAY think nothing of it, but I would place my bet on it that children (especially older ones) are definitely going to take notice.

oooooohhhhhhh, yes, i know they are out there, and i thought instantly, this does not sound right. PERIOD! just my opinion........the trust factor is broken, that's a hard one to repair! and i'm in tears about a piece of machinery.........my fridge? just got my mind off that, well really not, yet i must say, husbands or any male species wants different variations of which i call testosteroned walking machines...............it's all about what's in their pants, then it goes to their heads
mine wants to pay to see me with another woman, it's a constant battle, isn't it?

Just wanted to say....... this is a subject I've never even thought about....walking around naked in front of God and everyone. I'm probably the most modest, self-concious person I know. I couldn't handle my husband doing that, either. I guess I'm just old-fashioned. (Although I did go skinny dipping when I was 16 with a bunch of girlfriends) I think about the story of Adam and Eve. After she ate the apple, they realized they were naked, and they felt shame. I don't think we're suppossed to just go about our business in the nude. I'm sorry, but that's my opinion.

I was thinking of the story of Adam and Eve as well. However my thoughts were that they were made to feel shame because they disobeyed God! I am not a nudist nor would I ever be one but if a person isn't in it for the kicks and giggles of seeing someone naked then I hardly see the problem with it. I can tell you from experience of working in a women's prison that seeing hundreds of naked bodies is really no big deal if you aren't lusting after it! A human body is just that and nothing more unless you are thinking of something you shouldn't be! As far as children, if they aren't taught the naked body is something to be hidden then they sure aren't going to be perving at a nudist colony :S!

Gevalia, you heard right.....

The naked ones on Orient beach are certainly not the most aesthetically pleasing. lol And going to a nude and or topless beach is liberating and unsexual. However, I kept my clothes on when at Orient beach. But, back in the 80's Orient beach wasn't overrun with "amatuers" toting camera. It has certainly changed over the years. Now, I go elsewhere. Regards, JZZ

Just wanted to add some other thoughts. Although I have gone topless I cannot imagine leaving off my bikini bottom. I will only lay down topless and not walk around or engage in other activities. My neightbors recently confessed that they went to a nudist camp and I was floored! They are 10 years younger, not swingers looking for action either. Said that everyone came in all shapes, sizes and ages. Just walked, ate, lounged, swam and did all activities in the buff. They were given a strict introduction on codes of behavior upon entry, id's were taken and run thru local police id (no pediphiles allowed, etc.) Nobody was aggressive in any way and no "excitement" was exhibited. Everyone just wanted to be unencumbered by clothing. However, they said that many people were there with their children. Although I'm for freedom in choices I just can't see how a child is mature enough to be there.

Glad that you decided to be brave and attend an outing with your husband. You are much braver than I could be in a nudist camp. But I think your husband shouldn't be offering rides to anyone. jmo

Thanks again ladies On the upside he has unsubscribed to that site YAH!

I knew I would get my own way!
And I have said that we will go together as a family, my son included, but we will keep away from most of the others and do our own thing. This place is a national park and it's approx 25 hectares big!

So I'm happy

Sorry if this sounds gross, but is congregating at a nudist colony even sanitary? I mean really, I wouldn't want to sit down anywhere that someone's sweaty bottom or genitalia have been. Yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, God, NO!! I guess if you carry disenfectant wipes, but I seriously doubt that's gonna kill anything really. Even bleach/water has to be fresh and it still has to be allowed to sit on the surface for 10 min before being wiped off. OH MY!!!

My neighbors went to a nudist camp last week. They said everyone was meticulous about sitting on their own towels. But I agree with you.......ewwwwwwwww.

Very pretty gross...but funny

(dcamp @ Aug 27 2009, 04:17 PM) Sorry if this sounds gross, but is congregating at a nudist colony even sanitary? I mean really, I wouldn't want to sit down anywhere that someone's sweaty bottom or genitalia have been. Yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/quote]

Yes, nudist camps are just as sanitary as your average public gathering place (not counting my gym locker room where I've witnessed a woman sitting naked on the bench! nasty!) To answer your question:

All nudist camps have rules. One of the most important rules is that you MUST have a towel with you at all times. Trust me, others will notice if you dare to sit down with your sweaty bottom without a towel underneath! Nudists always cover public-use chairs and lounge chairs with a towel. Most people take their own chairs with them when they visit other camp sites, just like at regular camp grounds as you never know if the host has enough chairs.

Yea, keep your nasty, smelly body fluids ON YOUR OWN CHAIR!!! HEHEHEHE!!!!

LOL it's not like that, everyone has their own portable chairs and if you do sit anywhere you must put your towel down.
They do have strict rules regarding anything like that.

Sorry runr I just read your reply