Hello everyone, just needed to vent alittle. I have felt real bad all week seems I have an upset stomach or dizzy at some point everyday this week. I have being so tired and grouchy, I dont even like myself much les the people around me. (thats so bad) Then this morning a 4am I start having cramps and pain in my left pelvic area(pelvic floor muscle spasms). The pain gets so bad sometimes it stops me in my tracks. I would love to be at home with a heating pad.
I have not had a period in two months so I hope this is what is going on and not another cyst.

I want to scream or hit something. I just get so tired of all this some days, I know all you understand. It just helps some times to just let it out!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for listening to me rant

I'll listen to your vent and join you. This week my anxiety is INTESNSE! I'm freaking out and feel a total wreck!!!! It's taking everything I have to keep it together. Sick, sick, sick of it. There, now you're not alone!

Can I join in as well. I'm beginning to wonder if this is cyclical (sp?). I think it was about this time in my cycle last month when this all came to a head. Anxiety very intense and feels as if your bodily nervousness is taking over. Can't seem to stop moving, yet all I want to do is lay down and close my eyes and make it all go away....no you are far from alone!!

Yes, Jones, I feel EXACTLY the same way. This morning it was so bad I was literally pacing around my house becasue it felt so bad to sit still. Anxiety was off the charts. Yet, all I wanted to do was go to bed and curl up in a ball, but whenever I tried I needed to get up and pace. It finally passed after about and hour and a half. Now I'm just scared it will come back. This is crazy!

I hear ya, I get anxiety like that too. Not a good feeling and then like you said you wait for it to come back. Boy I hate that. Then it takes all the energy right out of you. I have a hard time making people in my life understand that. BUT you are not alone, I understand and wish I could make it go away for you.

Yeah, that sounds like me too. It's gotten pretty bad lately and I don't know whether I am being rational or irrational a lot of times. My husband and I are still trying to work through the fallout of his affair and I'm not sure how much of this anxiety is situational and related to that and how much is peri related? Hopefully in time I'll figure that out and it'll calm down a bit. In the meantime, I'll have xanax. Saw the Dr. this AM and asked for something to help me get through those times when I feel like I'm someone I don't recognize. I know what you ladies are talking about and it's horrible. I wish it would just go away and STAY gone!!! Oh, and just to top it off. I started yet another period today, 11 days "late" but who's counting. Cramps, backache, headache and heavy flow...what could be nicer than that?!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've had that too. Finally got some xanax and started on Lexapro. Don't know if I'm having a good hormonal cycle (on period right now) but haven't had the morning anxiety in a week and a half. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. It's been a nightmare for many many months. Had to take off from work for a few months. My heart goes out to you all and I hope you get some relief. ((((hugs)))) Mich

i personally want a sound proof room.........that i can simply go there at any given time and (((SCREAM AND CUSS))))) for as long as i want!
i may never leave that room!

Yep, I'm right with you guys. I thought the zoloft (100 mg) was working. I've been on that dose for a month, but the last week the anxiety has been building and the last two days I've been crying all day long (including at work, which is lots of fun). I think I'm going to have to go up on my ativan dose even though I was hoping to start weaning off by now. I almost feel like I did the day I took my pills and threw them across the room, then went into the bathroom and cried and pounded on the dresser. I think I scared my husband, and I know I scared myself.

I want my Mommy.

Oooh, i want my mommy too! Actually I was so bad this am that I called my husband and asked him to come home from work. I have no idea what I thought he was going to do for me, but I thought I was on the verge of having a total panic break down and needing to go to the hospital. I don't know what the hospital would have done for me either. I felt better after about an hour and called him back and told him he didn't have to come home. I'm lucky I have such a great spouse who loves me even though I'm a complete whack job lately. He's off to the pharmacy to get my xanax now. That's one thing that bothers me about the anxiety so much. I don't know why I have it. I have a wonderful husband, wonderful kids, a job I like and no worries to speak of. What in the world do I have to be anxious about? Same story, different day!

I am in the exact same boat as you, great life, great husband, no major stressors for the first time in my life. Perhaps it was the many previous years of major major stress abusive ex, lived in foster homes my whole life... who knows. It's hard to imagine the past could really affect your future in so far as how your react to peri/meno. I have never ever in all of the drama that my life has been ever melted down like I have done since the beginning of this year. Almost like a bad reaction to too much happiness.... I never had a Mommy to speak of but if I did I sure want her too, lol. This *****. I hope this Lexapro is gonna continue to work and not poop out on me... its either that or I am on Xanax until this crap is over and done with. If I have to go to rehab so be it, lol...

Me, too. I have awesome kids and a husband who loves me very much. Even though he sometimes gets frustrated he would do anything if he thought it would help me. He's run to the pharmacy for me many times, sat with me in the ER, he's cancelled trips to stay home with me. I wish I could say that there weren't any other stressors but with money being tight and two mildly autistic children (and one with ADHD), life is always pretty chaotic. The frustrating thing is, I have anxiety disorder and it was really well controlled on paxil until December when I just fell apart. That was when I decided it had to be the hormones making it worse. Some day soon, I'm going back to my doctor to try a different birth control pill to see if it will help.

I certainly think that previous traumas that haven't been dealt with can come back to bite you. I had several traumas as a child that I never talked about because I never wanted my mother to know. When the paxil stopped working I finally decided I needed counseling, hoping I could talk out those childhood traumas, but the counselor that I found that could see me for free doesn't seem to be very good and we haven't gotten to talk very much about past traumas. I think she's just been trying to keep me from giving up from one appointment to another. She really wants to see me every week, but I've already been taking off so much time. . .boy do I hope I can get it together soon.

Ang

Than we both have many things to be grateful for don't we? I try to find one thing, just one thing in my day to say "Thank you Universe/God for ________" (insert anything no matter how small). Sometimes it helps me sometimes it doesn't make one iota of a difference, lol. But, I feel very zen like when I give it a try....haha!! It seems you have suffered from anxiety for a lot of your life and it has been controlled with meds, now you are getting anxiety that is peri related, so the same meds may not work, because the anxiety is coming from a different place. Perhaps, the other anxiety was from the past trauma not addressed. Either way, at least you have the ativan and xanax, that is helping you function. I have heard Zoloft isn't that great for panic/anxiety disorder, I could have heard wrong, but, I think that is what I heard. Sounds like your counselor is not allowing you to speak about what you need to speak about. You may have to be a little bit more assertive and direct the discussion where you feel you need to address it. I couldn't do therapy every week, I find that every two weeks would work for me, heck I can barely commit to doing anything 24 hours in advance these days, lol. I'm not currently in therapy other than speaking with my psyche Dr. when refilling my scripts. You sound like such a loving and caring wife, mother and I am sure friend. I know everyone is overloaded on some level, economically, job wise, it is just one big stress ball out there in the world. Of all the times to have mucho hormone issues, this wouldn't be the best time would it? You will get through this because you are strong, but, you may have to make a few temporary changes in your life to lighten your load a bit and that's okay. We are in this together, all of us.

If it makes the two of you who have had past traumas, I have not and feel like I'm in the same boat as you, anxiety wise. I guess what I'm trying to say is that perhaps you can take that out of your pot of worries as to why you have anxiety. Maybe it will give you one less thing to say "what if" about. I truly don't know what the answer is as to "why" we have this. It has to be hormones. Not that that makes it any better. I still feels horrible. I'm sitting her now with my morning anxiety, it's been really bad the past couple of days. I just took my 12.5 of Zoloft (which I'm pretty sure is doing NOTHING except making me feel worse) and just tried 1/2 of a .25 xanax. Still feel weird, but determined not to feel as bad as I did yesterday. Already thinking "omg, I have to go to work on Monday, what am I going to do". I know that you can let your mind go there, but it does, consciously or suconsciously. Watching the news with all of these peple going to festivals, vacationing and fairs and thinking to myself, "I CANT' DO THAT" "HOW CAN THEY WALK AROUND LIKE THAT FEELING SO NORMAL?". Seems I always let my mind go to the place that i know I should not. Such a struggle! In my real life i am a very intelligent, together, energized person. Now I'm a kooky mess!

LOL,that's what i need too...
This made me think about my work....a year or so ago i was having such a rough day and my co-workers convinced me that one of the rooms was sound proof.....then they laughed at me while i was in there screaming.....not a funny joke for them to play on me....

Moonlight, that is a hilarious story! I just started back to work (educator), and my symptoms seem worse because i don't have time to pamper myself. Luckily, I am distracted by people and projects I'm passionate about.

Daisy, I have a similar pain on the side where my one ovary resides. At first, I was worried about some undiagnosed disease, but I am beginning to think it might be occurring when I ovulate (cysts). Has anyone else made a similar observation about pain around ovulation time?

Hugs 4 U,

JC

I guess we would all like to figure out specifically WHY we are having these bouts of anxiety so that WE can than figure out the voila!!! solution to the. I think there are just too many factors, hormonal, personal ability to handle "pain", personal stressors, we are each so unique with the same set of symptoms. I've been doing pretty well on the Lexapro with a little help from Xanax, but, last night ... well 5:00 AM this morning, I woke up kinda edgy, thought blood sugar might be the culprit so ate a half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, put the TV on with my headphones so as not to wake hubby and still felt not exactly full blown anxiety but uncomfie. So caved in and took a xanax, fell back asleep and woke up at 9:44 a.m. I hate relying on the Xanax and I am hoping that the Lexapro is not "wearing" off. I upped it to 20mg about 5 days ago, perhaps, it's time to up it again. I don't even know if it goes to 30mg, unless I get 20mg and 10mg, except the stuff is so expensive, I don't want to have 2 bottles of it. I guess the only other alternative is a bigger bottle of more 20mg and cutting them in 1/2. I will have to talk to the Dr. next week, if I continue to notice the anxiety breaking through. Of course I do have to go to a birthday party today and i haven't been out in a while to any large family functions so maybe that's making me a tad nervous. Oyyyyyyyyy!! Calgon take me away.... (remember that commercial, lol)

Jeesh I sure drop words a lot.... yeah meno brain..... "solution to our anxiety issues... is the complete sentence I was going for. lol

It is such a puzzle. I spend WAY too much time each day trying to figure out why/how/when etc. Perhaps knowing that you have to go to a function is wearing away on you in the back of your mind. Thusday I had to travel out of state with a coworker to a conference. I KNOW it was wearing on me, no matter how many times I told myself that I would be FINE. Well, I made it through the day withut freaking out or needing to leave but it was NOT good day. INTENSE anxiety. Yesterday was worse because I tried to up my Zoloft. Was Friday left over from Thursday? Do I feel better today becasue it's wearing off? Or, will it come back again that bad? Always so many questions running around in the brain. Common sense says, "just don't think about it", but it is so hard and I think it is always subconsciously there anyway. No answers... just more questions. Sorry, that probably didn't help anyone!

I think maybe part of it is residual anxiety. You were so keyed up on Thursday that it may have taken your nerves a bit to recover.

Well, I went to the family function, the anxiety dissipated (I didn't even have to take a xanax, yeah I had a nice time but couldn't wait to get home to put on my comfie lounging clothes and lay in my comfie bed that feels like a cloud and eat pizza and watch mindless TV, lol. I seriously could detach from the world for 6 months and be perfectly fine. Just keep in contact via email and the occasional phone call (don't like to much phone time) and texting. I will attend family functions, have another one next weekend, but, I will happily hurry home and plop my lazy tush down. My brother however is having none of my "hibernation=peri meno relief" method. He's coming out for a month to get my tush up and out and at least walking for exercise. My husband tends to support my "theory", lol, which basically supports his theory of the less movement the better. Yeah, we are a couple of real health nuts, lol. I suppose I may be willing to do that with my bro for health and keeping anxiety levels down. But, I think I'm safe for a few more weeks, lol... All kidding aside, I do want to get up and start moving, get the blood pumping and the heart pumping... but for now......awwwwwwwwwwhhhhhh this feels sooooo wonderfully self indulgent.

mainmom,

I'm the same way this week, and even a bit before. My anxiety has been so bad that I literally have felt like I'm losing my mind at times. I've done a lot of praying and soul searching and have been clinging to my Lord. That's the only way I can get through this. Today started out really badly, but it got much better as the day went on. I'm so thankful for that because I've felt almost normal....actually goofed around with my kids this evening! That's a first in a lot of days, so praise the Lord!

I hope you feel better soon, too.

Take care and God bless,
Deb

How you feeling today Mainmom? I hope a little better. This stuff is just too much sometimes isn't it?

So after my 1/4 of a xanax yesterday the anxiety was quite a bit better. My head did feel weird, but I was cleaning, and kept telling myself "just keep cleaning". After awhile the weird feeling went away and I actually felt pretty normal most of the day. A little tension started to creep in at the end of the day, but I just read and went to sleep. This am I am mild-moderate anxious. I know it's work tomorrow, and after the HORRIBLE time I had last week I know I'm already starting to worry about how I'm going to feel. I may try another xanax to experiment and see if it takes it away, that way I'll know if it's safe to take it on a work day. Have a doc appointment tomorrow so I'll talk to him about the Zoloft. I'm afraid to up the dose now, due to the INTENSE anxiety I had when I did. I have never experienced that level before. In my own safe home, I was literally sitting on my couch clutching a pillow, rocking, then alterantely pacing around with a wet washcloth waiting for it to be over. Now I'm reading Vliet's book and I'm convinced I want to try bcp's. If there is something that could level out these hormones and give relief, I want it! Anyhow, Michu I hear you about being a lounger. That's how I spend alot of my time. I KNOW I need to get on that treadmill and walk. EVERYTHING you read says that exercise will make everything feel better. But my motivation is so low. Maybe I will try today!