i am happy i finally found a place that has updated messages, was wondering if i really was all alone in this subject. i know realistically that i am not, but i sure do feel alone. i guess i am looking for others who experience a blue feeling, that can be hard to shake at times. i feel bloated all the time and just hurt. some days i am up and down with mood changes that swing sideways, lol. i have been to family doctor and obgyn, everything came back in good report, including bloodwork for thyroid.

does anyone just not feel like eating, talking or doing anything for that matter, but yet not want to be alone? my husband, bless his heart, wants a support group to help him understand menopause, so that he can help. that being said after i told him i love him, but right now he is on my nerves.

i do take an anti-depressant, that helps somewhat, and trying the black cohosh, a natural supplement. my doctor has pretty much told me to hang on for the ride. just want to know that i am not over exaggerating this and that something really is happening to my body.

You are not crazy and yes this is "happening" to your body. I'm on an AD Lexapro (newly) and I am in hibernation mode. I like it and I don't like it at the same time (being in hibernation). I communicate with friends via email, don't really like speaking on the phone or going out that much. I feel like I have accomplished something when I actually change my clothes, take a shower and run a few errands on any given day, lol. I know I'm saving a lot of money cause since I prefer staying home I don't shop as much, so that is a positive, lol. I've taken some time off work just to back away from the daily stress of work. I am lucky my husband is a sweetie and just accepts that I am a big ole lump of a body right now. Hopefully, not forever though. He comes home and cooks dinner for us, I cut him a break and do the dishes, lol. That's another big accomplishment and that's only cause I feel so damn guilty pretty much doing nothing else but laying around. This approach is probably not for everyone but it has tamed my anxiety with the help of the AD. I was a mess. So I just removed myself from all overstimulation. You will get through this.

No you are not over exaggerating, sweet.........I was misdx bipolar, my moods were so bad.......now all my docs know it is peri.....

Take care, you are not alone and keep talking......we are all in this together.

Hugs

Michah

Hello

I,ll try to be brief...


blood tests show I am anaemic {which I knew}

my serum ferritin is 7 ug normal range is 10-160

my FSH is 6.9 which means I,m not Menopausal (well what the hell are the flashes,sweats and awful sore breasts then?)

my progesteroen was less than 0.6 nmol

but I got a bit of a telling off for asking for an extra test (p) as it should have been done on day 22 not day 3
well,I wasnt to bloody know!!! still the result looks very low
even though I,m not classed as Menopausal...if my p test comes back low on day 22 I wondered wether I would be given any treatment? I did have the Mirena coil which released small amounts of progesterone every day and it seemed to work...no heavy periods,no sore breasts,iron levels going up
but it fell out and I am not getting much in the way of another choice!!!!!

You have found the right place. You'll find alotof us are also walking around bloated with extra weight on her tummys and thighs. Depressed,moody,sometimes down right psychotic driving our families crazy.

I had my poor daughter in tears today because I snapped at her. I aplolgized and bought her a zebra comforter she's been wanting to make up for it.

This is a great place to whine,give support and try to find some help for the some of these hellish symtoms. today its water retention with me. I look five months pregnant.

any way welcome. we understand we going through it with ya.

Lara

SNAP!

I dont know how many people have asked if I was expecting! how cheeky! thats the last thing you want to hear when you feel so crap.
I was 10 stone after I stopped breast feeding my daughter 7 years ago.......now I,m nearly 13 !
I,m typical apple shape and would much rather be pear shape which,in my opinion,is a more womanly shape
I,d to have J Lo's big bum and flat tum!
my section scar means I have this sausage like roll of flab hanging over my knickers- gross
no amount of sit ups will get rid of that
But I would gladly accept all my body hangups if Ididnt have the horrendous heavy periods and constant tiredness
I,m coming back as a man in my next life

I'm hoping someone here can help to set my mind at ease or at least confirm what my daughter and I suspect but which has yet to be diagnosed by any of the doctors she's seen. Yes, I am writing for my daughter because right now she is pretty much disabled by all the symptoms she's been having, and I - as her mother - am worried sick about her and feel so helpless that I can do nothing to help make her feel better!

First of all, I went through perimenopause and menopause (I guess) when I was just 40. I say both peri and menopause because the entire thing only lasted about a year. My periods suddenly became erratic and came to an abrupt stop a year later... no symptoms whatsoever with the exception of a few hot flases every now and then. After reading some of the threads on this site, I can see now how very, very lucky I was. I had never had any problems with my periods, never even had morning sickness with my pregnancies, so this may be why I just breezed through peri and menopause without a hitch. You're all probably wanting to throw things at me for having it so easy, but what I didn't have myself I'm now having to live with through my daughter, and it's been H-E-L-L, and believe me, right now, I wish I could have traded places with her instead of having to see her go through what she's experiencing!

My daughter just turned 43. Because I went through meno so young, we pretty much felt she might do the same. But, unlike me, she had had a lot of problems all her life with her periods.. bad cramps, the whole thing, so this may be pre-requisite to having major problems with meno. I don't know, of course, I'm just guessing. She's never had a child, so we don't know how pregnancy would have affected her. Anyway, her periods began becoming irregular (she had always gotten them to the day) about 1-1/2 years ago and approx. a year ago, she began having night sweats. Other than those 2 symptoms, she was fine until two months ago when she came down with a UTI (she'd had her 1st UTI about 1-1/2 years ago, about the time her period began becoming irregular). The onset of this most recent UTI seems to be when this whole nightmare began... The constant urge to urinate was driving her crazy (no blood, burning, etc. but tests confirmed she had a UTI), resulting in her being unable to sleep, and all of these other symptoms began arising (which I will list below), and the entire thing ended up throwing her into a severe state of depression where she was doing nothing but crying ALL THE TIME.. It took two different antibiotics and three dosages of them to clear up the UTI, but by this time, her emotions were so out of control, the curing of the UTI did nothing to cure her emotional state. She is now on Xanax to help her sleep (which it doesn't anymore) and Laprosil for depression. Let me say here that she "finally" gradually started to come out of it and begin feeling more like her old self and had two great weeks where I thought I finally had my daughter back and we were past this whole thing! Wrong! We thought it was the Laprosil that was kicking in and making her feel like her old self. However, she had a sudden relapse when she awoke yesterday morning and she is right back to the emtoional wreck she was previously in with all the same symptoms! Coincidentally (??), she also had TWO periods this month, getting the 2nd one only 11 days after the 1st one ended, and she did say that she became a bit sad and weepy towards the end of the 1st period she had this month, but she was o.k. after that until yesterday (which was right after the 2nd period ended). Here are the varying symptoms she's been afflicted with since this whole thing began.

Constant urge to urinate (besides the UTI's, she seems to get this urge every time she has anxiety)
Anxiety attacks to the point of hyperventilating
rapid heartbeat (from the anxiety attacks?)
Weakness
dizziness
hot and cold flashes (with no fever)
shaking
tingling in fingertips
inability to sleep
severe sadness and depression (to the point of feeling lost and thinking she can't go on like this)
diarrhea
nausea
severe fatigue (from lack of sleep obviously)
acid reflux
Loss of appetite
Probably more that I can't remember right now - there are so many!!

She became dehydrated during the middle of this whole thing from being unable to eat -BTW, she's also lost 15 lbs. and she's little to begin with - and we had to go to Urgent Care. As soon as they began the saline intravenous thing, her upset stomach and hot/cold flashes disappeared!

I know a lot of the above symptoms are interrelated to the anxiety attacks and the depression, but why did all this start happening??? Certainly not from a simple UTI which is when it "seemingly" began! I should mention that she went to a urologist because they couldn't seem to get the UTI cleared up and underwent all kinds of tests and x-rays to make sure there was nothing wrong with her kidneys and bladder and everything turned up negative - thank heavens for that! The only other doctor she's seen so far is her GP who totally dismisses the possibility of perimenopause because "you're far too young to be going through that!" Sooo, bottom line is.... I'm asking for your help because I'll be going crazy soon myself having to watch my daughter go through what she's going through with virtually no help in sight!!! Should she see her gynecologist?? A psychiatrist?? Who???

I really apologize for going on so long about this but I wanted to make sure I got all the pertinent information in!

Thank you so much in advance for any help you can give us. Please feel free to e-mail me if you wish at LuvUElvis@aol.com.

I forgot to mention that she's also had in-depth blood tests in order to rule out other things. They indicated her hormone levels were NORMAL! But, I've since been told that your hormone levels repeatedly change on a daily basis - true?

Hi Tlc,
Sorry to hear your daughter is going through this.
All I can add is I,m 43 also and have a mad time of this,some weeks feel ok and think "thats it it,s gone away" to have it all come crashing down around me again,the health anxiety being the worst. I have had to ring my mum on occassions for her to come round and calm me down!! as it has all been to much,and I am not like that normally.

Have had 99% of your daughters symptoms and different ones also.

Have been to many Dr,s have had 2 lots of blood testing(in the last year) for various things as my symptoms were/are so varying,to which they came back ok,to which then the Dr,s seem to tire of me and have been recommended counselling and/or AD,s.
I will try the counselling route and see how i get on with that first.

It just appears to me that Dr,s just don,t know how to deal with anything peri/meno and if you are under 50 they seem to think it impossible hormones are responsible for this.
I,m hoping counselling may give me some way of dealing with this anxiety,which may make this hellish journey a little more comfortable???!!!
Not much in way of advice just to say another 43 year old going through the same,if that is of any help.

Take care
KathS

Hi there!

I was 31 when my symptoms started....

It has taken 4 years for a doctor to listen......and dx

I have an unexplained goiter(enlarged thyroid with cysts and nodules)

I am so debilitated I am on a disability pension

I was misdx with Bipolar, my mental health was so bad due to hormone fluctuations

Blood is NOT true........it knows the day you are going for a blood test and BEHAVES nasty thing!

Your daughter does not have a UTI......some of us have the same bladder discomfort as your daughter and it comes and goes

All the symptoms that you listed are peri to a T.........has she had thyroid function tests done? Just to rule it out.......

You are a wonderful mum for asking, and if you think it will help, invite her here for a chat........many of us know exactly what she is going through......

Take good care and let us know how you are all going......

Michah

tlc, so sorry that your daughter is having such a rough time of this. I have many, but not all of the same symptoms. I am 48 and I've have many Dr's tell me that according to my hormone levels I am not in menopause.

As far as finding a Dr., look for someone who is knowledgeable about bioidentical hormones, even if she does not want to use any hormones at least they will be aware of some of the issues of perimenopause.

I would also recommend a book called "Before the Change" by Ann Louise Gittleman. She has specific recommendations for using vitamins and nutrition to balance your hormones.

When I read your post, another thought occurred to me. Having an infection can be a major stressor on the body and often adrenal fatigue can be brought on by an infection. There is a very long thread under Menopause Journal about adrenal fatigue. Also there is a book on the topic called Adrenal Fatigue by Dr. Wilson.

Make sure you have her iron and ferritin levels checked. I just read an article last evening about a woman who had subclinical hypothyroidism due to low iron. She had been in and out of psychiatric hospitals for years taking all sorts of meds before this issue was identified.

Hope this helps. Keep us posted on your daughter's progress.

Sounds like interdose Xanax withdrawals, it takes about ten months to feel normal after a xanax taper, look up benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome on Wikipedia , Trista5

Wow--Your daughter's experience sounds so much like mine. I am 45--I had a UTI in early April that wouldn't go away, had me sleepless and eventually in a panic. Soon came hot flashes, nausea, wall climbing anxiety, depression, etc. I made the rounds of docs and while I never had my hormones tested, my GYN thought I had a "hormone imbalance"and my vag/bladder symptoms were a sign of dropping estrogen. I went on an antidepressant too but didn't feel right til I added a low dose bcp. Not everyone finds them helpful, some feel worse on them, but I am back to feeling pretty normal again. (Thanks in big part to the support and info I found on this site!!) Her mood swings while on an antidepressant may be because her hormones were changing so much.
I would for sure have her go see a good GYN who understands peri and bring a written list of symptoms and questions so she doesn't forget anything. Best of luck to her and you.

Hi everyone! My name is Isabelle and I just joined today. I am posting here because I have been having many of the same horrible symptoms as everyone here has. Let me start by telling you that I have suffered from panic attacks and anxiety on and off since the age of 17. I am 43 now and the symptoms I have now are absolutely unbearable. After reading a lot of the posts here, I am contributing these symptoms to perimenopause. My periods have only been irregular for about the past 8 months. The problem I am having now is light headedness for the past 3 days. I am 5 (maybe) days away from my next period but have never had this symptom before. It is freaking me out in the worst way! I feel very unsteady...kind of like I might just fall over. I thought maybe it was just really bad PMS or something. My panic attacks are so bad when I feel this way. I don't want to do anything. I haven't even left the house because I was afraid that I had some horrible disease that made me feel this way. I can say that I do feel a bit better knowing that I am not the only one that has these horrible feelings. I am soooooooooo glad I found this website! I look forward to all of your stories and sharing mine with all of you.

Welcome to PS. There are great women here with wonderful wisdom and advice to share. I look forward to hearing more from you.

Mich

Hi, I would check for thyroid problems. Sounds alot like hyperthyroidism. Trista6

I'm reading your posts and I'm crying. It's such a relief to know I am not crazy. I found this web site last autumn when I worried about tingling feeling on my cheek. But only now I have courage to write about myself.

I'm 44 and l live in Poland so please forgive my English. For the last two years I've been having irregular periods and I know it's peri. I've had whole range of symptoms among which mood swings and health anxiety are probably the worst. Right know I have this ovewhelming feeling that beacuse I am ovewheight and my joints became cracking (yes, I am defnintely losing collagen, I can see it on my face and throat) I will soon need hip replacement. I know it sounds crazy but that just shows the state I am in. And only a month ago I was happy and accepting my life as it is. And it is a wonderful life: loving, caring and very patient husband, three wonderful sons (16, 14 and 7) and many others things I dreamed about when I was young. I'm even ashamed to tell my friends that I am not happy, that I feel useless, that I feel of no importance. So many of them have REAL problems.

Reading your posts does make me feel better. I share so many of your experiences (doctors beliving I'm too young to be perimenopausal, everyday errands being a real challenge sometimes, actually recently most of the time, fatigue, depression, etc.)

Thank you all!

Welcome to PS Irena, hope you find this place as such a safe haven as I have,it,s saved me on many a day when I have been so low.
and all the ladies are so warm and open and a wealth of knowledge and kindness.

Your English is lovely so don,t worry about that.

I have also been told I,m too young for peri/meno (I,m 43) yet my body tells me a different story.

Take care Kath

gosh does that all sound familiar, trust me, i have seen every one of those symptoms, sometimes just one, sometimes two or three mixed together at different intervals. my obgyn told me, at the age of 40 that i was in the very early stages of peri, at 45 it has increased. i have had doctor appointments to help set me at some kind of ease, just to let me know that everything is in good working order. it is tiring just to keep a positive attitude and remember that it is peri, with the pms on top of it. Definite visit to the doctor, that in itself can be a comfort if the right doctor is found. If you and/or she don't care for the bedside manner, look for another. I myself do see a counselor once a month, and she really pushes the keeping of a journal. You know, like a diary when one is a little girl. That does help, and it keeps track of how mental and physical conditions are and a doctor and/or counselor can use that for vital information, for a possible way to help learn tactics to make all feel better. Hang in there, and how wonderful that you are concerned, I know my mom helps me a lot, and her love always makes me feel better. Belinda