Sweet merciful God.......

I feel forsaken, forgotten and vilified

I feel that all I have achieved is but a blip on the chart

I am hostile, embittered and cynical

I have moments of joy and experience gratefulness

I am growing yet stagnating

I want to cry until my face falls off but struggle to even push them out

I am grieving for no reason

I hate everyone yet seek their humanity

I am but a shell of my former self.......rebirth is hard

I cannot help, only hinder

This day, I DO NOT understand......


I apologise if my reference to God offends anyone.......I seem to be apologising a lot lately.......even just for being me......

Ah phew.......sweet relief and sinus.......the tears are here......

Thanks all for listening.......man, I am having a bad day......


Take care

Michah

Michah:I have many a day were I don't know what else to do but cry out to God.Your not alone,this too shall Pass. [[[Hugs]]] Lumz

Thanks Lumz........big hugs back to you babe.......I wonder if God is sick of hearing from me?

Michah

Michah, I know exactly how you feel. I wish you peace my friend.

bev

((((((((((((Micah))))))))))))))

Quit apologizing for being you, a beautiful, strong, caring woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Michah,
That is so beautiful , heart wrenching but hopeful. I'm sorry that your in such pain. I know I'm there too. You express yourself so beautifully and I can tell just through your words in this post and in previous post the strong and beautiful spirit that you are.

I agree the rebirth and the reinventing is so hard esp when we feel like crap. Keep going you are doing all of the right things.

I pray that you get some relief soon.

Lara

What a beautiful, tender, touching and spirit filled post. "Shell of former self"......so, so true.......will we ever make it back? Many hugs coming your way Michah...Terri

So beautiful and poignant.... expressing so much of what many of us are going through (including myself). I wish you a happier day tomorrow. I hope the tears helped release some of the angst. I know sometimes a good cry can help a great deal. It is such exquisite release...

(((((hugs))))))
Mich

if your referance to god offends any one , they got bigger problems then you or i do, thats for sure....... god god god god god god..... how you like that !!!!!

Michah .... i know exactly how you feel ..... there are days it's better, and days it's worse ..... some days you just want to cry, but can't..........other days, you can't stop crying! BIG BIG HUGS TO ALL OF YOU!

Sweetest Michah,

Just woke up this morning,feeling pretty much how you described!!

What a heartfelt description, so well written,you should start writting more Michah,it may help.

Hope today is a little brighter for you Michah.

much love to you

Kath

(((((huggabuggaboos))))) to you. I feel the same way. As for refering to God here. I no longer worry about it. The ones who know me love me the way I am and are very aware God is in my life. The one who don't can kiss my butt! I'm on this very site because I can be ME, in ALL my own ways and still be liked at the end of the day and welcomed back tomorrow. Take care my friend and remember this....while transformation is never easy....once we are TRUELY empty and nothing but a fragile shell ( as meno makes us ) it is GOD who refills us and makes us whole once again. In HIS time, with HIS love and OUR patience. Keep seeking...he's doing some wonderous works in you as we speak!

that truly is beautiful writing!
you have described just how I,ve been feeling

I feel ok,not good,just ok,but better than a few days ago,when I couldnt stop crying
who knows how Ill feel tomorrow
cant remember the last time I felt GREAT!!!

I live in hope

wishing us ALL better days!

Why in the world would you apologize for saying a heartfelt prayer? I found it sweet and couldn't have said it better myself. Sometimes I struggle to put into words what I am feeling. I hope you are feeling better today. This is a most difficult time in a woman's life, when we want to cry out who better to cry out to than God?

Just wanted to share with you something I got in an e-mail....

Fearless
Count to Eight (Woe, Be Gone)
by Max Lucado

"We have here only five loaves and two fish." (Matt. 14:17)

How do you suppose Jesus felt about the basket inventory? Any chance he might have wanted them to include the rest of the possibilities? Involve all the options? Do you think he was hoping someone might count to eight?

"Well, let's see. We have five loaves, two fish...and Jesus!" Jesus Christ. The same Jesus who told us:

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (Luke 11:19 NIV)

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. (John 15:7 NIV)

What ever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. (Mark 11:24 NIV)

Standing next to the disciples was the solution to their problems...but they didn't go to him. They stopped their count at seven and worried.

What about you? Are you counting to seven, or to eight?

Here are eight worry stoppers to expand your tally:

Pray, first. "Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him...(I Peter 5:7 AMP)

Easy now. Slow down. "Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him (Ps. 37:7).

Act on it. The moment a concern surfaces, deal with it. Don't dwell on it. Head off worries before they get the best of you. Be a doer, not a stewer.

Compile a worry list. Over a period of days record your anxious thoughts. Then review them. How many of them turned into a reality?

Evaluate your worry categories. Detect recurring areas of preoccupation that may become obsessions. Pray specifically about them.

Focus on today. God meets daily needs daily. He will give you what you need when it is needed.

Unleash a worry army. Share your feelings with a few loved ones. Ask them to pray with and for you.

Let God be enough. "Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." (Matt. 6:32-33 NLT).

Eight steps. Pray, first. Easy, now. Act on it. Compile a worry list.Evaluate your worry categories. Focus on today. Unleash a worry army. Let God be enough.

P-E-A-C-E-F-U-L


And if any are offended by this....oh well!!

Thank you, thank you, tahnk you.......to all of you. Some lovely prayers and sayings from the bible.......all spirituality is a good thing, is it not?

I found what I was looking for in all your replies.........SOLIDARITY.

Not that I haven't felt it before.......it just seems more obvious today........maybe more ready to receive it? My dark side has been more prominent lately......and as with the dark, light is rarely welcome.

Thank you all.......for the sharing of hope.......just what I needed.

Amen to that......

Many Hugs,

Michahxxxxxx

No, Michah, He never is sick of hearing from us. I cry out to Him every morning and so many times during the day. He will never leave nor forsake us.

Sweetie, my day has been just as you have described and I keep wondering.... can it get any worse? Oh, I truly hope not. Here is a big hug just for you....

love and ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))),
mood_swinger

Thanks sweet.........the biggest hugs back to you and hope this day is better for both of us!!!

Take good care of you, babe

Michah