Since meno has kidnapped my very being, I find no pleasure in anything. Guess this is depression. It is amazing to me that the loss of estrogen can cause us to become walking and talking zombies. I could care less about anything and find no pleasure at all in the things I once enjoyed. This is very difficult on me and my husband. It certainly creates havoc in our relationship and I am not too sure how much longer either one of us can bear it. I have tried everything, and everything I take just makes it worse, even natural stuff. The BHRT trial I did just caused me to be more hormonally imbalanced and caused me to restart my periods after an 8 month absence of them. I am really scared to try anything like this again. I am so med sensitive due to Hashi's that ADs create such side effects. Also they wreck havoc on my eyes which are already a mess due to Hashi's.
I found out in a book on meno that the term for total loss in pleasurable things is anhedonia. This is a very dark place to be. I find it gets worse around the time I am "trying" to start another period. I guess this is when the estrogen drops very quickly.
I did find out that my thyroid (especially T3) is very low despite being on Sythroid. Also my ferritin levels (iron storage) are very low which will also cause depression. So with low thyroid, low ferritin, and no estrogen I am barely surviving. I just started a whole food type iron supplement yesterday trying to raise this before starting some T3. I really do not see how much longer I can go on like this.
I am beginning to think this is all just me and not meno related. I just do not know what to think and am so very scared and tired of all this.
love and hugs,
mood_swinger
Full Version: Anhedonia
Power Surge Forums > Board Discussions > Depression (Menopause Related) / Anti-depressants / The Blues / Sadness
It’s not you> I feel the same way! Once in awhile I see a glimpse of my old self!
I miss passion-contentment!
I miss ME!
I miss passion-contentment!
I miss ME!
Mood swinger
I'm 6yrs post and I still feel like this is not related to meno. I have such horrible morning anxiety that of course turns into depression all day until evening.
I've been dealing with this non stop 11 months and feel this is just the way I'm gonna be and just deal with it! I will have spurts of feeling good but only at night. I was dx with gad. But come on already I hate this. I want the old me back.
((((char)))))
I'm 6yrs post and I still feel like this is not related to meno. I have such horrible morning anxiety that of course turns into depression all day until evening.
I've been dealing with this non stop 11 months and feel this is just the way I'm gonna be and just deal with it! I will have spurts of feeling good but only at night. I was dx with gad. But come on already I hate this. I want the old me back.
((((char)))))
QUOTE (mood_swinger @ Aug 14 2009, 06:38 PM) 
Since meno has kidnapped my very being, I find no pleasure in anything. Guess this is depression. It is amazing to me that the loss of estrogen can cause us to become walking and talking zombies. I could care less about anything and find no pleasure at all in the things I once enjoyed. This is very difficult on me and my husband. It certainly creates havoc in our relationship and I am not too sure how much longer either one of us can bear it. I have tried everything, and everything I take just makes it worse, even natural stuff. The BHRT trial I did just caused me to be more hormonally imbalanced and caused me to restart my periods after an 8 month absence of them. I am really scared to try anything like this again. I am so med sensitive due to Hashi's that ADs create such side effects. Also they wreck havoc on my eyes which are already a mess due to Hashi's.
I found out in a book on meno that the term for total loss in pleasurable things is anhedonia. This is a very dark place to be. I find it gets worse around the time I am "trying" to start another period. I guess this is when the estrogen drops very quickly.
I did find out that my thyroid (especially T3) is very low despite being on Sythroid. Also my ferritin levels (iron storage) are very low which will also cause depression. So with low thyroid, low ferritin, and no estrogen I am barely surviving. I just started a whole food type iron supplement yesterday trying to raise this before starting some T3. I really do not see how much longer I can go on like this.
I am beginning to think this is all just me and not meno related. I just do not know what to think and am so very scared and tired of all this.
love and hugs,
mood_swinger
I found out in a book on meno that the term for total loss in pleasurable things is anhedonia. This is a very dark place to be. I find it gets worse around the time I am "trying" to start another period. I guess this is when the estrogen drops very quickly.
I did find out that my thyroid (especially T3) is very low despite being on Sythroid. Also my ferritin levels (iron storage) are very low which will also cause depression. So with low thyroid, low ferritin, and no estrogen I am barely surviving. I just started a whole food type iron supplement yesterday trying to raise this before starting some T3. I really do not see how much longer I can go on like this.
I am beginning to think this is all just me and not meno related. I just do not know what to think and am so very scared and tired of all this.
love and hugs,
mood_swinger
Hey MSwinger,
Don't lose hope. Menopause certainly does kidnap your life but it does come back!
I personally do not believe that there is much we can do to safely loosen its stranglehold on our lives during full blown transition but with time, your ability enjoy life will return.
I have had a tough time, quite indescribable really but I can feel a real improvement recently. Even my hot flashes appear to have gone.
I am starting to feel so much more in control and able to cope with the basics of life and that is very welcome indeed. I have taken no suppliments or hormones of any kind. My close friend has followed a similar path.
I sleep through the night like a baby and am starting to feel excitement, yes excitement for the simple pleasures of life. At one point during the shut down phase I blundered about like a brainless Zombie. I didn't even recognise who I had become.......................
Today I did lots of baking and messed about with a piping bag to my hearts content. I then went shopping and had a lovely time. Tomorrow my husband is taking me to choose an eternity ring for our Pearl Anniversary on Tuesday. A year ago I would have probably refused to go because making a choice would have all been too much for me. Anyway it would have taken me too long to get ready and I would have felt that I looked like a total mess and ....and ......and................................
Most of the anger and irritability has gone, I am starting to feel very calm. I am looking forward to having the mental stability of a man who doesn't cycle hormones constantly.
Try to control that terrible feeling of panic that comes with feeling that this upheaval will go on forever.
You will get through all this, it is only a matter of time. Hang in there!
XIII
QUOTE (chaotichar @ Aug 14 2009, 02:23 PM)
Mood swinger
I'm 6yrs post and I still feel like this is not related to meno. I have such horrible morning anxiety that of course turns into depression all day until evening.
I've been dealing with this non stop 11 months and feel this is just the way I'm gonna be and just deal with it! I will have spurts of feeling good but only at night. I was dx with gad. But come on already I hate this. I want the old me back.
((((char)))))
I'm 6yrs post and I still feel like this is not related to meno. I have such horrible morning anxiety that of course turns into depression all day until evening.
I've been dealing with this non stop 11 months and feel this is just the way I'm gonna be and just deal with it! I will have spurts of feeling good but only at night. I was dx with gad. But come on already I hate this. I want the old me back.
((((char)))))
Chao> did you go through a natural menopause or hysterectomy?
I feel like this, too. Please don't give up!
I have finally found pleasure in a few things. Icecream being # 1!
QUOTE (mood_swinger @ Aug 14 2009, 12:38 PM)
Since meno has kidnapped my very being, I find no pleasure in anything. Guess this is depression. It is amazing to me that the loss of estrogen can cause us to become walking and talking zombies. I could care less about anything and find no pleasure at all in the things I once enjoyed. This is very difficult on me and my husband. It certainly creates havoc in our relationship and I am not too sure how much longer either one of us can bear it. I have tried everything, and everything I take just makes it worse, even natural stuff. The BHRT trial I did just caused me to be more hormonally imbalanced and caused me to restart my periods after an 8 month absence of them. I am really scared to try anything like this again. I am so med sensitive due to Hashi's that ADs create such side effects. Also they wreck havoc on my eyes which are already a mess due to Hashi's.
I found out in a book on meno that the term for total loss in pleasurable things is anhedonia. This is a very dark place to be. I find it gets worse around the time I am "trying" to start another period. I guess this is when the estrogen drops very quickly.
I did find out that my thyroid (especially T3) is very low despite being on Sythroid. Also my ferritin levels (iron storage) are very low which will also cause depression. So with low thyroid, low ferritin, and no estrogen I am barely surviving. I just started a whole food type iron supplement yesterday trying to raise this before starting some T3. I really do not see how much longer I can go on like this.
I am beginning to think this is all just me and not meno related. I just do not know what to think and am so very scared and tired of all this.
love and hugs,
mood_swinger I feel the same way, taking no pleasure in anything any more. I feel useless and worthless and confused and depressed alot of the time. Some days are better than others but most days are me just going through the motions and faking alot. Sure hope in time it gets better as some members promise us.
I found out in a book on meno that the term for total loss in pleasurable things is anhedonia. This is a very dark place to be. I find it gets worse around the time I am "trying" to start another period. I guess this is when the estrogen drops very quickly.
I did find out that my thyroid (especially T3) is very low despite being on Sythroid. Also my ferritin levels (iron storage) are very low which will also cause depression. So with low thyroid, low ferritin, and no estrogen I am barely surviving. I just started a whole food type iron supplement yesterday trying to raise this before starting some T3. I really do not see how much longer I can go on like this.
I am beginning to think this is all just me and not meno related. I just do not know what to think and am so very scared and tired of all this.
love and hugs,
mood_swinger I feel the same way, taking no pleasure in anything any more. I feel useless and worthless and confused and depressed alot of the time. Some days are better than others but most days are me just going through the motions and faking alot. Sure hope in time it gets better as some members promise us.
QUOTE (mood_swinger @ Aug 14 2009, 12:38 PM)
BHRT trial I did just caused me to be more hormonally imbalanced and caused me to restart my periods after an 8 month absence of them. I am really scared to try anything like this again. mood_swinger
Mood Swinger...when you tried BHRT, were you on continuous BHRT? I am and doing well on it.
I remember that place that you are in...It was horrible!
Shebee
so that's what its called eh?!......guess I am there too, as I rarely find pleasure in anything these days....in fact, when something makes me really laugh
I recall it and capture that memory, as it only happens in a blue moon now.
....and sleep, well this has evaded me for almost 4 years on and off now.....along with the anxiety and fears.....and then there's the loss of interest in sex...I mean, I cannot even muster up a tiny bit of interest, let alone fantasizing about it!
Yes, I do admit that the 'hot flashes' have pretty much gone, but I'd rather have lots of fun and laughter, lots of sex and no fear or anxieties!!!
oh well....maybe I will return to ME again soon.......
Caz
I recall it and capture that memory, as it only happens in a blue moon now.
....and sleep, well this has evaded me for almost 4 years on and off now.....along with the anxiety and fears.....and then there's the loss of interest in sex...I mean, I cannot even muster up a tiny bit of interest, let alone fantasizing about it!
Yes, I do admit that the 'hot flashes' have pretty much gone, but I'd rather have lots of fun and laughter, lots of sex and no fear or anxieties!!!
oh well....maybe I will return to ME again soon.......
Caz
QUOTE (Shebee @ Aug 14 2009, 03:54 PM)
Mood Swinger...when you tried BHRT, were you on continuous BHRT? I am and doing well on it.
I remember that place that you are in...It was horrible!
Shebee
I remember that place that you are in...It was horrible!
Shebee
Yes, it was continuous.
mood_swinger
QUOTE (mood_swinger @ Aug 14 2009, 07:17 PM)
Yes, it was continuous.
mood_swinger
mood_swinger
Did you try the E and P together at once? What dose did you start with? Maybe if you just try the E alone at first starting with the tiniest dose and work up slowly you might be able to tolerate it better. I don't have personal experience with this yet but it's what I am planning to do as I seem to be hypersensitive to anything I put in my body. I was going to start with just half of the lowest dose patch or gel. So far I have tried the P on it's own during the luteal phase of my cycle so that I could see what it felt like without adding E. This month I am hoping to start with the E at half of the lowest dose patch or gel and build gradually. If I am OK with that I will try adding the P and see how it feels. It may take some trial and error to get the right, dose and combo that works for you.
Another suggestion, is a book by psychologist Stephen Ilardi called the Depression Cure. He has put together lifestyle program as part of a university research project which has had a good success rate. He recommends a combination of Omega3 supplements, bright light therapy, exercise, sleep regulation, anti rumination strategies, and social support. If you want to read more about it here are a couple of links
http://docs.google.com/gview?a=v&q=cac...hl=en&gl=ca
http://www.psych.ku.edu/tlc/index.htm
Best of luck!
QUOTE (Snowmoon56 @ Aug 14 2009, 03:50 PM)
Chao> did you go through a natural menopause or hysterectomy?
I went through early meno at 39 naturally...
Me too, I just assume its depression. I have lifelong anxiety disorder, made MUCH worse with meno, as well as post traumatic stress disorder and now it looks like depression as well. Am struggling along on building up my amitriptyline dose, after years of resisting meds. I find no joy or pleasure in anything much. The last time I laughed, REALLY laughed was recently watching a video of old episodes of a comedy called ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE. You American ladies won't know it, but British ones will. I can SOOOO relate to poor Victor and his long-suffering wife Margaret. I laughed till I collapsed. I wish there were more really funny shows, but they all seem to be just mildly amusing, if that. Laughter is supposed to be very good medicine. I hope that once the amitrip kicks in (once I get the dose high enough!), I will feel less flat and more normal. So yes, this loss of interest is depression. I have read that when very severe, the person literally just sits in a chair, doesn't wash, eat or do anything - total apathy. It is good to at least have some insight and recognise that we are feeling this way, that it is not "normal", that we don't like it, and so do something to help ourselves. But it is a struggle.
Hi Mood Swinger just wanted to let you know that I felt the sae way too.......now after about a year things are better,........I still have some bad days......but most of the time Im starting to see my old self again........but when this all started I felt nothing......walked around feeling like a zombie......but now have some interest back in things I use to enjoy......still not 100% but at least its better........so hang in there and anytime u need to talk pm me and I will try and help you out..........Valerie
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