I've never posted too much, so none of you may have missed me anyway. My mom, who has been battling colon cancer for almost three years, passed away on July 23. She lived with us in our inlaw suite for the last 10 years, so it's been and will be a huge adjustment for me. My 2 sisters and I cared for her 24/7 for the last 2 weeks and it was pretty rough - especially emotionally. The first few days afterwards were spent doing the things you have to do, but now it's starting to sink in....I walk by her chair and she's not there. At least I have small children (11 and 8), who demand attn., otherwise I'm not sure if I'd function at all. It's been 2 wks and most of our meals have been take-out. Is that horrible or what? I just don't have the desire to grocery shop or plan meals.

Oh well,,,,I know it will get better. I lsot my dad in 1995 but this is different. This is my mother & we were super close. I was her primary caregiver since the cancer was diagnosed and, if you've ever done that, you know what I mean. We made some wonderful memories (she went on 3 cruises since she was diagnosed).

Thanks for listening.

i am so sorry about your mom,My mil is dying of cancer as we speak,and it is so hard.Do not feel guilty about the dinner thing,at least you are making sure they have something to eat.Take some time for yourself,maybe rearrange the house,give yourself a new outlook.I hope you get some rest and find some peace.GOD-bless

My heart goes out to you. I've been where you are. I've lost both my Mom and Dad in the last two years. The pain never goes away, it's right under the surface all the time. My prayers for you and your family.

I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy to lose someone you love, but a mother and daughter have such a special relationship anyway and with you being so close to her...it cannot be easy. Thankfully, you have wonderful memories of her and she will always be with you through those memories and always close in your heart. I don't think you ever get over a loss like that, but you know that over time, those memories will become bittersweet and you will be able to think of her and smile. God bless you in your time of grief.

Joan

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a very difficult time for you and your family. Try not feel guilty about the "not functioning" part of you right now. You need time to process this and deal with it and it will take as long as it does. Allow yourself to cry, grieve, be angry and feel all the emotions that will come to you over the next few weeks or even months. You can't speed up the process, it is what it is and you will be ok once you've completed the journey. It will continue to be difficult for awhile though so don't feel bad if you still feel "bad" after some might expect you to be back to your normal self and up and running again. You are in my prayers.
xoxo
Jan

im sure shes looking down on you and saying " thank you " for a job well done my child.....peace to you and your family.....

Kate I am so very sorry for your loss - losing your mom is one of the hardest things in this life so give yourself all the space and time you need to grieve.

I nursed my mom through cancer too and she was only 48 when she passed away - there is never a good time or age for this to happen - we are always someones child ever if we are also someones mother.

Feel free to pm me if you ever want to chat - I know right where you are in your head ......(((hug))

CIC

Kate,

I'm so sorry about your mom. I lost my mom almost eleven years ago, and she was sick for eight years before that. I was also a caregiver to her, but not all the time. It's so hard to see loved ones suffer, and it's so hard to let them finally go, but you can be thankful that you were there for her. I agree that, in time, you will be able to think of your mom and smile at the fond memories you have. You must have been a great blessing to her!

Take care, and God bless,
Deb

I am so very sorry. Your post is just heartbreaking

Prayers of comfort heading your way.

Kate, I am so very sorry for your loss. It sounds as though you both had a very meaningful and nurturing time together. May those memories provide you with strength and comfort. Be gentle and patient with yourself - this is an enormous loss. Kathleent

So sorry for your loss. I know that is hard, we lost my husband's mother to colon cancer a few years back. It was kind of bitter sweet, cuz you know that you are going to miss them soooo much, but you know that they are out of their pain.... I know she is always looking down on us, I can feel her still w/us at times. Now you just have another angel praying for you...

Take care, be strong, and know we are all praying for you and your family.....

I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy, no matter how much time you have or if you know it's coming. Do be gentle on yourself and allow yourself to greive as much as you need to. I know it's not the same, but my dear grandfather, the only man in my life I could trust since childhood, passed away at the age of 92. For two years I told myself that he was getting tired and his heart was getting worse, that he was in heaven with my grandmother whom he missed so much. Somehow I missed greiving for him and now it's so much worse. It's like it hit me all at once.

Go at your own pace and don't put too much on yourself. I will be sending prayers your way.

Ang

So sorry for your loss. Time will heal what you are feeling now, but your mom will live forever in your heart.

Hello Kate,

I hope you will be able to see tht people remember you

There are no real word of comfort for you at this time. Hopefully you can see the caring behind the words that people write to you.

Bless you for being such an attentive daughter. What an act of love and an honour at the same time.

Don't beat yourself up about the take-out for now...it's depression. I am sure that they understand. Maybe they can help you cook?

Use this place as a source of comfort, suipport and a means of venting too. Everyone is here for you in your journey.

Bless you Kate,
Suzanne
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(((((((((((((((kate)))))))))))))))) what a wonderful daughter you are, I'm sure you're mom appreciated all that you did for her. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Thanks so much everyone. You are all so kind and thoughtful. She wad diagnosed 3 years ago and I knew this time would eventually come. I knew I would have a hard time, but in some ways it is easier than I thought. I thought I wouldn't be able to function at all. However, I have had a headache every day for the last week and at night I don't sleep well (I wake up with that "whooshing" in my head.) I know it's stress and I'm not sure how to deal with it. Thanks again.

Kate , I know where you are coming from as I lost both of my parents. Take the time to grieve as needed that is very important . The one thought I always try to remember is.. the hurt and pain is over, no more suffering . Sending hugs your way to ease your pain ..((((( kate )))))

We are here for you! I am so sorry for your loss. I cant imagine.

Hugs to you,
Jeaninne

Kate, I decided to bump this up for you. And again, I'm sorry you've lost your Mom. Take care.

Good idea - bless you again Kateshadow! People here care aboutcha. This may help you. I want my boys to carry on and thrive even without me. I wouldn't want them to get sick with stress about my passing...but to honour my memory and try to have a good life and carry on looking after their families. It would pain your mama to see you in this way.

Sincerely,
Suzanne