I am up this morning pacing my house and wringing my hands feeling so, so nervous and not knowing what to do with myself. Anyone out there suffer from anxiety as soon as they wake in the morning and continuing til afternoon? Also.......anyone suffer from outright fear? This is unbearable. Thanks.........

Yes, Terri! You're certainly not alone on this one. My neurologist said it's due to brain chemistry levels (cortisol and such) that peak as we sleep. The best thing I can do in the morning is go for a vigorous walk, using up some of the excess stress hormones and taking control of my body. It also helps clear my mind as I listen to music, enjoy nature and count my blessings. When this first started, that last thing i thought I could do was go for a walk. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. Now I'm dreading the winter months because these morning walks have saved my sanity this summer. I will have to find another early-morning activity.

Outright fear? Yes, that too; again, caused by our endocrine systems trying to compensate for low female hormones with other hormones such a adrenaline, which caused me right-out terror the first couple of months. Don't hesitate to talk to your doctor about taking something to control this; otherwise, the anxiety cycle can make other symptoms worse.

Sorry you're going through this. Just know you're not alone.
Hugs,

JC

Thank you JC! I have been in horrible peri for 4 1/2 years now with high anxiety and some depression. I have to push myself through each day. It is very tiring. I currently take klonipin as needed. Lately I have needed a lot of it! My son just got married and moved out (so im missing him terribly)and I am missing periods and having night sweats. I would take any other symptom of peri other than the anxiety. On top of the fear, I also have racing thoughts when I wake in the morning. The klonipin really does work, but it is less effective the more you use it. I love to take walks as well and have done so on some mornings and I also enjoy evening walks as well and going to the local gym.

Thank you for your thoughts on the endocrine system and low hormones. It makes complete sense, until of course I am in the middle of a panic and can't believe that anyone else in the world could feel this bad too! I sure am praying and hoping with all my might that once my body and brain get used to the low level of hormones that it will adjust and all this will disappear.

Thank you for your help and advise. Terri

Terri
I know exactly what you mean. I have horrible morning anxiety and also taking Klonopin. My daughter just got married and moved out and miss her here at home. My anxiety keeps me from eating so I'm thin and can't eat till dinner. I wake up early sometimes and find myself full of fear for no reason at all.
You are definitly not alone. I always feel stupid telling people this but here all us sisters understand. Keep posting and we will try to get through this together.
hugs char

Oh ya..I have this early morning problem too. I have anxiety in the morning and at night. I use to be like this when I was about 14 or so...yes I am going to call this my 2nd puberty...like anyone needs two. My Cortisol level is pretty high in the AM.

Anyway some mornings are worse than others..I find myself going out for a cig some mornings..and others not at all. But I do walk everymorning which I hope is helping.

I seem to go home and want to be in bed before the sun goes down..I don't really know why...but it makes me feel better....

I do deep breathing exercises when I can...to help return the blood chemistry to normal...

Hope you are feeling better...
All the best
maura

Yep, I have the morning anxiety, too. Sometimes, the neurontin I take to sleep lasts long enough to keep the edge off, but most mornings I wake up tense and anxious, so much so that I shake trying to get dressed for work. The first thing I do when I wake up is take my ativan and that usually helps, but I'm really tired of needing ativan. : ( Funny thing is, I went to a nurse practitioner who checked my cortisol level and it was "normal".

Hang in there. We're all in this together.

(((((((hugs))))))))))

Angela

Absolutely, know where you are coming from. My cortisol levels are high and my anxiety and panic/fear is over the top. I finally decided to try an AD and have Xanax for the break through anxiety, until hopefully the AD kicks in. Please, please let the AD kick in. I need to get the anxiety under control it is really harmful to always be in a state of fear and anxiety. Next on my list is to start walking, exercise is supposed to help cortisol levels. You are not alone in this, it *****!!

Char::::: Sounds like we are two peas in a pod! I lay in bed in the mornings and my mind starts immediately to race with horrible thoughts and then the anxiety and apprehension begin to build until I get up and try to function almost always ending in tears and panic. I try not to take the med everyday, but I have had to most days since my son moved out. I miss him so badly. I can't eat until dinner as well. Sometimes I force myself to eat earlier in the day for nutrition sake. Fear and apprehension are horrible things that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy! I have been assured by many on this board that low hormones affect the inner workings of our brains. We WILL get through this together char! (((((hugs)))) Terri

Yes, my is almost at it's worst I think in the morning. I wake up and I can already feel the tensness in my body. Then I get up and I feel like I have to run a marathon in order to get rid of that nervous feeling throughout. It seems to calm down a bit in the late afternoon, evening, but along about bedtime I get this weird out of body feeling that the only thing that seems to make me feel better is to go to bed and close my eyes. It's very disturbing. And yes, when my anxiety is high, which seems to be moreso lately, I do have an outright fear, it's awful. Everything I think of sets it off a little bit more. Thinking of a chore I'll have to do, I get scared, having to go out to pick up one of my kids, I get scared. It is ridiculous, but I am trying through suppliments, BHRT, and therapy to try and get it under control, so far I'm not so sure... What are you doing to help deal with it?

Yes, I have the morning anxiety, too. It's worse in the morning. Depending what is worrying me, etc, it can last through the day. A lot of times, I feel better at night. I have hard time sleeping at night so my mind races with thoughts. By morning, I don't want to get out of bed but can't sleep so make myself get up. I call myself Anxiety Pam. I do have the fearful feelings, too. I take xanax or the generic from as needed. Sometimes it seems I need it every day.

Me too. I call this the "Year of the Frump" also hence my name "Michugana", I am like a big lump but oh well.... I'm trying the AD and hoping for good results. My friend suggested that instead of me waiting for something to "kick in" I should get up and start doing something, walk or whatever. Someone said on here I think that "If you can't stop thinking, than start doing".... sounds great if you aren't in my head, lol.

good god yes! for 2 months now i wake up between 1 and 2 in the morning. ativan helps but the accompanying hot flash kicks my digestive system and ativan can't help that. so little sleep! i know it'll pass but it's awful lonely at 1 and 2 in the morning.

could be my thyroid too which was high when this started. it gets checked again next week. if normal or low and these symptoms continue i guess i'll have to make a decision about an AD. not looking forward to it!

you're not alone, sweetie! but in my pacing from here on i'll pray for you and all the gals here who are suffering the same...

Oh my goodness ladies! Thanks for all the posts! You all have given me great comfort that I am indeed not alone. I just feel so bad that we have to suffer like this because it is such an awful feeling. It feels like this "thing", this "monster" is stealing our livelihood, our joy our very being. Jones says that she gets strange fearful feelings just thinking of a chore that she has to do......well.....ME TOO! I had to go today to Macy's to buy my son a suit for an interview and let me tell you every cell in my body was crawling with anxiety (some sort of weird nervous fearful feeling) before we left to go and while we were out together. Isn't that a pitiful shame! He is 21 and shopping with ME and I can't enjoy it! We made it back home and as the day wore on I began to feel better. I was able to get through without meds today. Everyday has been like this lately.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support! I truly, truly love you gals! I now know that I am not alone Terri

Well, during the past four years I have tried Lexapro, Paxil, Remeron, Ativan, Xanax, Klonopin, CBT and BHRT. The AD's landed me in the ER with suicidal thoughts with the exception of the Remeron. My CBT counselor just didn't help, it was just a big ole chat session with no guidance. The BHRT just didn't do anything but bring back regular periods and cause bloat. That was all in the summer of 05. Now I am just using the Klonopin as needed to control the racing thoughts and anxiety. I have always just used it about 3 times a week, but this summer has been trying because of my son moving out and getting married so that has caused me to take it almost everyday. The wedding/moving out stress plus peri has morphed into this big ball of anxiety/fear/apprehension about the future. Right now I am ready Claire Weekes book "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" and just trying to hang in there. If all this is hormones I don't know how much we can control, but I am sure trying!

Just like you, just thinking of a chore or errand can send a chill up my spine ..... very weird feeling of apprehension/fear isn't it? I hope the methods that you are trying are successful for you. The Klonopin honestly was a life saver for me. What supplements are you trying?

Because the anxiety was so bad, I called my doctor (he is an anti-aging doctor, so he works with natural suppliments and BHRT's). Actually, my husband called him because I was in such a bad place. This summer has been particularly hard for me as well (my daughter is starting high school, I just graduated college, and it is the one year anniversary of my sister's death), so I've had a lot of emotional crap going on, on top of the hormonal issues. Anyway.....he has me taking some suppliments with taurine, B-6, B-12, GABA and some herbal concoction along with progesterone and DHEA. I just started taking them and not sure how long I'm supposed to take them before they actually start working, but I managed not to take any xanax for about 5 days. Then Tuesday, for whatever reason, I was bouncing off the walls, could not manage to sit still. I go for a walk every morning for 2 1/2 to 3 miles a day, either in my neighborhood or on the treadmill, but that still didn't calm anything down. I finally broke down and took a xanax (I had to call the doctor first tho, to be sure it was okay to take with the other stuff I was taking). This morning I took a xanax and it really didn't do much for my nervousness - which is really scarey! I had a bottle with 30 pills in it from December, 08 and until these last few weeks, didn't need them. Now, other than the 5 days I did without, I've been taking them every day! They are .25 mg, so I know it's a pretty low dose, but at the beginning of this I could take one and it would not only take the anxiety away for the entire day and night - sometimes into the next day, but it would knock me on my butt and I could take a nice long nap. Now I fear that my body is already adapting to this dosage and I am going to need more!!!

I've got an appointment, but cannot get in to see him until September to see a psychiatrist to get on an AD. This is really something I don't want to do, but my therapist is kind of pushing it. I also made an appointment to see a doctor who does nothing but natural medicine, he also works with hormones. But again, can't get in to see him until the end of September either!! I was working with him years ago, before I knew that this could be hormones and it was the best I ever felt. I stopped seeing him because he was so expensive and insurance wouldn't cover the costs, plus I felt great and thought 'I don't need him, I know what I'm doing'. Well now five years later - I NEED HIM TO FIX ME!!! So, hoping he can figure out what the heck is going on and help me to restore myself to that woman that felt great all those years ago!

I guess until then we just have to just keep plugging along and doing the very best we can. I know there is an end to all of this madness, I just wish it would come sooner than later. I am sorry you are going through all of this, but I do pray that you will feel better soon as well.

hi terri
yes, i wake up as if i'm in a horror movie, my fear off the scale, takes me a long time to get a bit evened out............this has been ongoing for years....if someone else could just walk in our shoes for an hour of that hell...............

Hey Jones! Sorry you're having such a rough summer. It stinks doesn't it? I am by far NOT an expert and can only speak from my own experience but I just recently purchased a B complex natural vitamin supplement. I took these for about 3 days and my anxiety went through the roof. I really don't understand why because I was informed that the B vitamin support the nervous system. I do know that I have a very sensitive nervous system and that is why I cannot tolerate the AD's. I am even sensitive to antihistamines and decongestants! I am just wondering if the vitamins, the taurine, the herbal remedy, the DHEA and the prog are revving up your nervous system and that is why the xanax didn't work as well. I know if I drink caffeine the klonopin doesn't work as well. Just a thought....but call the doc and ask what he thinks before you change anything. The Natural Med doc sounds like a great idea especially if you have already worked with him......can you call and be put on a list for cancellations and then maybe you can get in sooner?

Take care and like you said hopefully this will be over sooner than later......oh boy, to be the woman I used to be.....where did she go??????

Boohoo........All I can say is AMEN to that!!!

Well ladies here I go again. My anxiety is sooooo bad today. My heart is racing and my stomach hurts. I can't get off the couch. My mind is racing like crazy.
I just took a small amount of klonpin. I would give anything to not go through this any more. I feel so weak because I cannot eat anything.
Sorry ladies I'm just venting and I know there are some of you out there that understand......

Almost every flipping morning I feel the same way. I have spent more time on this board than I ever have. I woke up and felt like crap and had to take a xanax and for the first time the xanax is making me feel like crap, slight headache. Of course I didn't eat anything so maybe that's it. I am waiting until 11 to take my 2nd dose of Lexapro, that should feel fab too. Yesterday was nausea but toward the end of the day I felt okay except my feet ached a lot. Jeesh........ this is unrelenting stuff isn't it. Maybe since our Peri is so bad maybe actual menopause will give us a break. Who can live like this? I'm already tired of drugging myself up it feels very unnatural to me. Oh well, I hope as the day progresses those of us suffering from morning anxiety will feel a bit better.

Yep, same thing here. Took my ativan first thing, as always, headed for work, forced myself to eat a protein bar and managed about two sips of watered-down coffee before I felt like I hadn't taken the ativan at all. My skin is crawling worse today than it was yesterday. I'm so tired of this. Of taking meds that make me feel worse than I did before in the hopes that maybe two weeks from now I can start to feel better. Of going to doctors who have no idea what to do next. Of crying my eyes out every time I get in the car because I've been holding it in all day. Of my heart racing, having palpitations, and this knot and burning in my stomach. On top of that, thanks in part to all my doctor's appointments and medications, we're broke until payday again and the creditors are calling me at work. I'm just wondering how long I'll be able to stay out of the mental hospital.

I am sooo sorry. You have a lot on your plate. Having to go to work feeling like you do must make you feel even more anxious. I know for me it was like that. I am lucky that I was able to be put on disability until I can hopefully start feeling better. We are lucky that we have a little nest egg where I can do this and not feel completely guilty (which I did). I just wasted a bunch of money going to a hormone Dr. who I told upfront that I didn't want the pelvic ultrasound that they require before they give you any hormones and he said we won't do anything that you aren't ready to do yet, he then proceeded to take blood work which of course shows my hormone levels are bottoming out and then proceeds to tell me I need to do the ultrasound. I understand he needs that but I was hoping he would help me first with the anxiety and fears, I thought he would be more receptive and compassionate than my actual healthcare provider (Kaiser). I spent $1000.00 for a bunch of blood tests and a lively conversation with this guy, who by the way wouldn't even get on the phone to explain the blood work to me, he had his nurse do it, who couldn't even answer my questions. He wanted me to come in again at a cost of $350.00 to speak to me. What an @ss!! Needless to say I'm not going back to him, I don't care how well known he is. You are under all kinds of stress, if you are worrying about money on top of how you are feeling. There are days where I think my whole nervous system is going to collapse and then I will just be checked in and they will run all the ******* tests I am afraid of and I will not have any choice...maybe there is a small part of me that would like it to be taken out of my hands. I'm so impressed that you get up each day and go to work when you are feeling so terribly, that takes alot. I tried to do that for as long as I could and then I just couldn't. Although I also wonder if sitting on my tush with too much time on my hand is a good thing either. I've heard it said (probably hear, but bears repeating) "If you can't stop thinking than just start doing". I have a hard time with doing these days so I will have to work on it.

Mich, Again I'm the same way. I cannot work because of all of this. One thing though I'm in full meno. No period for 6 yrs. So I'm thinking this is just who I am. Very high stress person. It doesn't make it any easier for me to go out and about right now because I will get panic where ever I go.
I don't take anything for hormones. I way passed that point now. And I feel like my nervous system will fall apart too. If you find something that helps you let me know!!
(((char)))

When I stopped going to school and I really felt I had no purpose to get up in the morning - I shouldn't say that, there is always a purpose - what I mean is school has given me a cause. I stopped and than all of this anxiety crap hit the fan. I think you're right, too much time on my hands and way too much time to spend inside my head. Now all we have to do is find a way to get out of our head and into the real world. That is the hard part, because now I'm too afraid!!!

I'm not even in full meno (my stupid hormone Dr. had his nurse tell me I'm not in peri, I kept asking her how does he come to THAT conclusion) I'm 50 with erratic periods and all kinds of other junk these last several years, is he serious!!!?? I'm like well than what is wrong with me... of course nothing life threatening per my blood work... as far as she said or he would have graced me with speaking to me in person on the phone. So stupid!! My hormones are dumping fast that's all I know. I was always kind of a serious person, I had many years of struggles and stress but I handled it well for the most part (a few melt downs here and there). Now I have a great life and of course Murphy's Law being what it is, I can barely enjoy it. Talk about ironic. I am so sorry that you can't find a way to feel better, there has to be something. I'm not sure about hormones either, I'm not sure about anything anymore. I kiddingly (I think( asked my hubbie if it was okay if I became an alchie for a few years, I just want to be oblivious to this junk. There is always rehab afterwards, lol. Too bad I hate the taste of alcohol and it makes me feel like crap. Do you have any good days or do you consistently feel crappy? Did you have an easy peri? Has it always been this bad since you went post meno? What kind of person were you before all of this started?

Really this fear thing is insane isn't it? Fear is paralyzing. I wish I could be the logical person I used to be and just tell myself 'snap out of this". Do something, anything, get on the darn treadmill. Do something positive for yourself. I feel accomplished when I take a shower and laugh at something, anything. This person I have become is so unfamiliar to me, I don't know how to interact with her, I'm actually not sure I want to be her friend at this moment, lol, she is kind of a pain the arse. I just took my second Lexapro, waiting to see what fun stuff happens today. I have two people I know who did not do well on it, but, they are both younger and not hormonal. My hubbie did well on it when he took it. Right now I feel sort of like a zombie and a little nauseous. I can barely see the screen I'm typing on, time to make the font bigger, lol. ahhhh much better.

When all this started the Sunday before Christmas, I actually got the week of Christmas off for the first time since I graduated nursing school and started working (15 years). I was so excited that I was going to get to stay home with my kids. We were going to bake cookies and wrap presents and watch all our favorite Christmas shows and movies. We had just had my family over for an early Christmas because it was my husband's turn to spend the holiday with his family. I was sitting on the couch, a little sad because it felt like they had only come over for a few hours and when I was a kid, our family would hang out together all day on Christmas eve and Christmas day. Relatives we hadn't seen all year would "drop in" to see my grandparents and the adults would sit and talk and watch football while my brother and I played. The house was warm and the family was together. Here I was, sitting alone on my couch, the kids playing in their rooms. . .I put in National Lampoon's Christmas of all things and was watching the scene with Chevy Chase watching the home movies of when he was a kid when the first real panic attack hit me. It got worse and worse over the course of the week until, by the time we left for my in-laws house, I had to call my brand new psychiatrist and beg for xanax to get me through. The week was ruined, I hadn't been able to do anything with the girls, Christmas was a horrible blur, everyone was worried about me. When we got back, I thought maybe if I could just get some extra rest, I would feel better. That's when I discovered that if I try to take a nap, I wake up in a panic. I wake up anxious and tense every day, and I cry almost all day through the weekend. I was approved for medical leave, but I can't take it to stay home and rest, because if I stay home, my anxiety is even worse because there is nothing to distract me. So, to make a long story short (too late), I come to work, not only because I have to support my family right now, but because I can't stand to be at home, but I can't go out anywhere. There's no place I can go and nothing I can do to keep calm and the meds only help to take the edge off without making me groggy, which makes me more anxious because I don't feel like "myself" (who ever myself is).

I sure hope I can get a handle on this soon. I certainly can't cope with this for another 15 years!

Ang

Mich
I can't see the screen either.lol. I'm 46 and had early meno due to thyroid, thats what they said. I never had any symptoms back then. No hormones either. I did good. Now, 6 yrs later the anxiety hit the roof. Doc said it was probably not due to hormones but who knows. I have nodules on my thyroid that I had checked out and is fine. Had all kinds of blood work taken. At least every 4 months. My cortisol level was off a little but not alarming. I've always been a nervous person but wow not like this. It's been on and off for 10 months now. I had a major stressor back in august and never recovered. It gets better then bam it hits again. So in the mean time I'm just waiting. And it stinks!!!
(((((char))))

Are you fairly young, cause when you say 15 years, I'm guessing late 30's early 40's. I thank god have no problem sitting on my butt frozen it time...lol... I couldn't be at work because all the activity and ringing phones and questions and tedious typing made me feel like I was losing it even worse. I can control my environment in my home. I just don't want to become agrophobic to add to the mix. I just took a 10 minute sun break gotta get some Vit D (I am deficient) also take D3 tabs to help with whatever . Actually, it is good that work distracts you. Perhaps my anxiety is a little more elevated. Right now the Lexapro seems to have me in a nice mellow mood although it feels a little bit foggy around me. I understand that feeling of just not feeling comfortable in your own skin no matter where you are. I think that may be how you are feeling. You go to work cause you have to and it is more helpful to you than sitting at home. It is a conundrum that's for sure, a bit tortuous to be sure. My stuff started around Christmas time as well, also I turned 50 in December and I just wasn't all that "jiggy" with it (i know that's old, lol) and now I know why. I have a feeling for whatever reason that 51 is going to be a little better.... I just gotta keep my sanity until I get there. You will get to a better place, I'm sure the majority of us do. It's the journey to there that's the biatch!!!

darn it another typo, I hate when I make typos, feel I have to correct them...add anal and compulsive to my list... s/b "frozen "in" time" I'm sure you figured that out without we pointing it out....

My brain edits typos automatically so I don't usually notice them.

I'm not particularly comfie at work, either, but seems worse sitting at home. I dont' have any control over the environment there: smallish home, three wild children and hubby home all the time. The only place I can get away is in the bathtub. I wanted to clean up and repaint my bathroom before the girls start school, but I just haven't had the energy. : (

Sure hope the lexapro works for you! I'll be praying.

Ang

Oh, yes. I just turned 40 in may. I almost completely missed it because of the anxiety. I cried all day. My husband has tried so hard to cheer me up. Special dinners, flowers, he even packs my lunch in the morning. The kids give me extra hugs. Nothing helps.

If fourty is the new thirty, I hate to think what fifty (40?) will be like.

Ang

Uhhh, well don't base it on me then (I just turned 50), lol. However, I will say maybe you will get through this earlier and be done earlier. So maybe you will be a fabulous 50 year old. I have several friends who are about my age, maybe a little older who just sailed through it. Maybe turning 40 was some sort of catalyst for you. I know 50 threw me for a loop, I REALLY was not happy about it. Though my hormone levels do support some of my symtomology, it just happened to coincide with me turning 50. I have a little plaque in my bathroom that says "You are only as happy as you make up your mind to be".... I'm throwing it into the trash today, lol.....

Mich,

I think I must be following you around the message boards today. I just turned 50 as well a few months ago and it really threw me into a tailspin. I just can't seem to get past it! 30 was okay, 40 was .....okay, but 50!!! Then throw this hormonal crap on top of that....just not fair!

Thanks Ang, I hope it works too. It is only the 2nd day, I can feel the fogginess lifting a little bit and don't feel too bad. But, I thought Prozac was working for a minute once and it ended up making my anxiety worse. But, for now no anxiety to speak of. My home is not huge 1500sf with a sunroom but it is a comfie home. We are a quiet people in my house, lol. My son is 16 and is in and out a lot but he's a cool kid. He has given me a little grief here and there but overall a decent kid. My husband is at work, but, he is a quiet sort himself. It is rather peaceful in my home which is nice. No one pressures me about anything, housework, making dinner or whatever. We all pull our weight (although I think they are kinda pulling mine for the time being). My wish for you is some YOU time somehow where you can relax. What about going to a massage school and getting a one hour massage. I do that all the time and it feels great, you can get a student for $30.00/hr. I don't know what your budget is but you have to do something for yourself to unwind even if for just an hour.

I totally agree with everything you just said!!!

Yeah, I'd throw it away too, if I had one. The longer this goes on, the worse attitude problem I get. The next DOCTOR that does nothing then pats me on the back and says it's all going to be fine, or, it'll get better soon, is liable to get slapped.

I fell apart a good six months before my 40th birthday. I didn't even have a chance to think about it. At least, not that I remember.

I probably won't throw it away, maybe I'll just throw things at it. All kidding aside it is a good sentiment, however, if this was only mind over matter, then none of this would matter. Maybe someday I will have the luxury of making up my mind to just "be happy"...ughhh, lol. I really relate to you and I sure hope you start having some good days, at least a break would be nice wouldn't it. It is very tiring to feel like this constantly. I don't know if the Lexepro is kicking in but I'm not feeling to terrible today but maybe it's just a good day. I know how hard it is to hear you'll be fine or this too shall pass cause right now is what your caring about not sometime in the distant future. But, what else can you do but hope for better days, it's what keeps most of us plugging along.

maybe if I could really believe it, it would make the plugging a little easier. I'll work on it.

Lexapro is supposed to be very potent and low on the side effects, so maybe it IS working.

Maybe you could use your sign for a dart board. Or, if you're really attached to it, you could buy a nerf gun to shoot at it.

Ang

Well, I hope you are right, because that would be awesome. I was thinking a nerf gun would work. My Dad always tells me "feelings aren't facts" (he is an actual 12 stepper) sometimes I want to kill him with his little sayings like "Fake it til you make it" "Don't try, do" blah blah.... Maybe some of it is retraining the way you are reacting to what is happening to your body, however, I'm not sure it is that easy for us here on Power Surge. I think we are going through chemical changes that do affect how we are handling the stresses on our bodies and minds. I have had stresses in my life in the past and I got through them without falling apart, so why now all of a sudden can't I be logical and handle my bizness? Because some of it is beyond our control but conversly there is probably things that we could do to try and make things better for ourselves. It is individual for each woman. I have no pat answer for you and I won't pretend to. But, I can listen and emphasize if that helps at all.

I've had so many stresses in my life that when the panic attacks started, I went right to a psychiatrist. He put me on klonopin, then on desipramine. It worked so well, and anxiety runs in my family, I just knew it was all biochemical and that if the anxiety got bad or I had panic attacks, I could just get back on the meds. This is the first time I've ever had anxiety and panic that go worse on everything I tried.

My family had always been so proud of how well I handled all the stressors in my life and how strong I always was. Now I feel like I'm letting everyone down. I feel like a helpless baby having to rely on my husband for everything except going to work and coming home. I want the old "me" back.

Ang (Ali? I kind of like Ali) : )

I was nicknaming you based on your board name Alinam, lol. I'm sorry nothing is working this go around. I don't know if Lexapro will work for me or not. Sometimes you can go back and try a particular medication again and it may work. I was always a really strong person and never really had panic or anxiety, if anything I used to get depressed when I was on the birth control pill, once off of that I was pretty decent. I have had moments of severe depression but they were based on actual situations not just out of the blue. If you have really had a lot of stressors in your life and you have depleted your adrenals perhaps that might be where the problem is. Have they checked your adrenal glands? I think there is a test for that. I understand how you feel about letting people down but that could just be in your head and your feeling guilty. Hopefully, you have understanding and love from your family and empathy. They have to know you wouldn't choose to feel like this if it was a choice. It's so easy to be kind and giving to others but so hard to be kind and giving to ourselves isn't it? Try and be kinder to yoursel.f Be the friend to yourself that you would be to someone else suffering like you are.

What ad did you start? can you pm me and let me know?

You sound exactly like me I hate it!!!!!! Was never like this ,makes you feel like your going crazy!!!!

For some reason I am looking forward to 51, which is weird since I hate 50...lol. I just want to get through this year without completely losing my mind. I think since these symptoms just started this year, I am thinking by then I'll be used to them and won't freak out so much. Like I have said before I never thought I would be a med kind of gal, but, at this point I will almost take anything that will help. My only concern is I don't want to have to keep upping doses. Although a nice rest in rehab could be nice, lol..... I'm with you 40's weren't even a concern for me, 49 didn't even throw me. 50 is a "whole notha level"... I just gotta get used to it and embrace it. I love life and want to enjoy it so this is really cramping my style this peri meno nonsense. But, with the support I get here it sure helps me to try and keep things in perspective especially when I hear women suffering with the same stuff I am. I know we help each other and that is awesome!!