I am struggling terribly right now. I went to a hormone Dr. who took blood work. Blood work shows low estrogen, low progesterone (very), high cortisol and low DHEA and low Vit D. My FSH however is 8.5 which says I am NOT in menopause but I was also told I am not in Peri??!!! I'm confused. I feel like crap. He cannot give me any kind of hormone protocol until I have an pelvic ultrasound to check the uterine lining and to check for cysts etc. My logical mind totally understands this has to be done to protect me as well as him. (I told him in the office I was afraid of doing the ultrasound right now and he seemed to understand, he didn't tell me there wasn't anything we could do unless I did that) I don't know what to do. Just those words and the thought of it has put me into a panic mode and I was actually having a fairly decent day. I know I am being ridiculous but I am terrified there is something lurking inside me and I just can't handle it. How can my levels be so low and me not be in at the very least Peri? I have an appt with him on Saturday and I am sure he will answer my questions and try to convince me to have the pelvic ultrasound. I just don't think I can. I don't think I can take much more of this. I was hoping he could start me on something to get me balanced and then we could deal with testing. OMG I can't believe this is my life. I am so afraid of death yet....... I am paralyzed. i feel like I must be the only one who has health anxiety to such an extreme. I am so afraid and yet even more afraid to take action to help myself. Going to the hormone Dr. and doing the blood work was a big deal for me. Now I am back to feeling hopeless. I'm going to end up hurting myself with the stress I am putting myself under, it isn't healthy and I know that but I feel out of control.

Hi Michuganna:

I'm not sure why you are afraid of getting the ultrasound. I am not familiar with a "pelvic floor" one, because mine was transvaginal, but you say he is interested in finding out the thickness of the endo layer, and that is fairly standard. There are MANY doctors who don't believe in peri, and those who do accept it will typically tell you that you judge peri by the woman's symptoms much more than the hormone level tests, which fluctuate so much day to day and hour to hour as not to be very reliable. If you have a thick endo layer, your doctor would not want to be giving you hormones that would make the situation worse. I think it is totally appropriate that he wants you to have the ultrasound. At the practice where I go, you get an ultrasound as part of your normal care once you reach a certain age. It doesn't mean they think there is something wrong with you. It really is for your own well being, and it won't hurt a bit if that is what you are worried about. The fact he says you are not in peri does NOT mean that you are not -- and it certainly doesn't mean that some other horrible disease is creating your symptoms. It just means he doesn't know what peri is. Getting the ultrasound is a good idea though.

Best, Wits

It really is no big deal I had to have one after my hormonal screen because I had very High Testosterone. It is just a precautionary measure.

As far as being peri, he can't tell you that until he rules out everything else with the ultrasound imo.

Please don't be afraid of the ultrasound or what it will show!

I had them every 6 months for 3 yrs. The test is no big deal let me tell you! The worse part is holding 32 oz of water for hr or so.

One of my last one showed something to the effect of a mass not sure what the wording was. Since I had heavy bleeding my doctor did a D&C in fact Witty was my hand holder because I was terrified of the D&C!

Anyway it turn out to be a polyp, so don't panic if your ultrasound shows junk in the uterus!

I understand how you feel about not wanting to have a test done. I'm not ever afraid really to have my blood taken, or even the EKG I had done yesterday, or chest x-ray...but I'm kind of terrified about having a stress test or any dye put inside my body....I'm afraid EVEN if I'm not allergic...I might start thinking I am...and go into panic mode, and feel like my throat is closing up.... I'm due to go to a cardiologist next Tuesday and I'm already fearing the treadmill test and what it may show. (I've been having chest pains) I don't know if I can help you through this, but I do understand your fears very much! You are not alone in feeling this way. I'm right there with you. I was even a little frightened to take 1/2 xanax today in case of a potential allergic reaction, because of my extreme phobias about meds. So, no...you are definitely not the only one who has health anxiety to such an extreme. I pray you will not hurt yourself with the stress you have, and I have to admit that xanax did make me feel calmer for a few hours, I just don't need to get addicted (that's what everyone's fear is - although I only have 15 tablets -ha)... Hang in there and just know you are not alone, We can support each other through all these fears, even when we "know" in our minds they may be irrational...it just doesn't matter, they are still there, and it's difficult to deal with them. I've been trying to tell myself , instead of saying, "What if..." this or that happens.... substitute the words..."So what if.... and realize it will somehow be okay. We have professionals there caring for us as we take those tests - just be honest with them about your fears. They are usually very nice and soothing. ( I say all this, but you should have seen me yesterday - a basket case going to Urgent Care - so afraid of what they might find thru these tests - so far all the tests are normal - well, except high blood pressure and anxiety) Anxiety during this time is AWFUL!!! I hate it! We're here for you - vent when you need to - it sure helps me to just write it out...and "get it out there" on to this message boards with all these understanding ladies!!! :-)

Sandy

Awful to live in a state of fear!

Sandy I had a thallium treadmill stress test> peri is so much fun!

Sandy, did they tell you that they were going to do a nuclear stress test? thats when they put the dye in you... i had to have one just recently because of chest pains that i was having too, the pains came and went but it lasted even after i took my ativan so thats when i went to the ER after it going on for over a week. i was terrified when they told me they wanted to keep in in overnight to do the stress test the next day. and then when i found out they had to use the dye i fell apart completely because of my fear of having a bad reaction to it. the guy who does the dye came in to talk to me after he heard i was crying uncontrolably and in a panic and he was so nice and understanding. he really took his time explaining to me how it all worked and that i dont need to worry because there havent been ANY reactions to the dye at all. its a totally different dye that they use for cat scans and stuff. i took an ativan and went for it and i swear i didnt notice a single reaction at all! nothing. i was fine after i realized he didnt lie to me lol. the test was only about ten minutes or less on the treadmill and very easy. they did a scan too that took longer but i was comfortable and it was nothing. you sound exactly like me so i know how you're feeling, but trust me you'll be fine.

The ultra sound is no big deal. Painless, and actually interesting. You'll get to see your "insides" right there on the screen.

As far as being or not being in peri... you can't always tell. Sometimes on the day you're tested your levels might be normal. It's a crapshoot. ALSO.. when they say "normal" they mean NORMAL FOR YOUR AGE. Him saying your not in meno just means that your test didn't produce the "standard" result indicating menopause. As you know, there is nothing standard about meno!

My blood work showed I wasn't in meno after I hadn't had a period in 6 mos. 3 mos later it came back that I was in meno. No duh!

You can handle this. It's not fun, and it's time consuming, and it's a big pain in the you-know-what, but checking your lining is a good idea.

Breathe.... really... you'll be okay.

(((((mich)))))

I don't have any weird bleeding, other than my periods which are becoming erratic. This month I had 2 periods but they were normal, heavy for one day and then done. Some are coming later than normal, some earlier, you know the usual wackiness. Nothing out of the ordinary. My Dr. believes in peri, he is a very well known hormone Dr. He told me about the pelvic exam on my first consultation with him, before he even saw the blood work. I told him right then and there that I wasn't emotionally ready for that. I was hoping to balance myself out before we went down the normal testing route other than the blood work. He said he understood and then I hear again about the ultrasound. The nurse is the one telling me (based on what she thinks the Dr. said) that I am not in meno (which I knew) but not in peri? What part of me is not in peri? Can levels just drop for no reason. She said I am not ovulating anymore, which I understand. I just wonder if I can get my cortisol (stress) down and my DHEA up if I can ride this out without hormones? I took my blood work on the very first day of my period, so I wonder how that affects the numbers. Also, I am seeing my psyche tomorrow. I am now willing to try to find and AD that works for me, that will maybe calm me down enough to get the cortisol levels down and then I can address the hormone levels. The nurse told me that when the Dr. reviews the blood work if he thinks it is something more serious he always calls the patient himself, he did not do so. So I suppose I have a classic case of declining hormones and all the stuff that goes with it. I know that blood work can flucuate. I am tired of living in high anxiety it is my main concern for my health, that is not good for the body. My hormones are gonna go, bottom line. I don't want to lose my mind in the process. I will consider BHRT to feel optimal but if he can't help me without the ultrasound than so be it. I will work on the emotional aspects if I can first. I was hoping he could start treating me with minimal hormones just to bring the symptoms to a reasonable place and then we could do the ultrasound. I have no reason to believe there will be anything bad on the ultrasound as I said. I did have an ultrasound many years ago and I did have fibroids, they may or may not still be there who knows. Abdominally, I have never had issues. Pap smears was normal 2 years ago, I am due for another. My Dr. did a visual of my uterus and said it looked fine. Who the heck knows I worry too much about the unknown. Its like I give myself a death sentence every day. Talk about horrible. That is not living. The anxiety has to go and I will try every AD there is until I find one that helps, that is the first order of business for me. Right this minute I am in pissed off mode, just 20 minutes ago I was a blubbering mess. Arghhh!! Thanks for all the responses. If you would be so kind please don't mention any kind of potential illnesses i could have as you are getting to realize my imagination takes me to places I do not want to go. Again thanks for all the support. You are all wonderful11

I so totally understand what you are saying because I have felt like that also. My story would take too long to go into here but I really do know!

I think it is akin to going for a complete diagnostic health scan of your whole body to see if there are any potential problems, and your likelihood of having some horrid disease in the future. Some people do this but I would rather not know how long I have to live and what I might die of thank you very much! Ignorance is bliss!

Am I right? Is this where you are coming from? I get the impression you are not afraid in actuality of the test itself or whether it is painful.
No amount of reassurance from anyone does the trick when you are in that mindset -so I will not try to tell you its nothing to worry about, it's not painful, its unlikely they will find anything la la la.

What you are feeling is a desire to shut out anything bad that might rock your world because you are just about coping with life as it is and you can't stand the fear of fear cycle you get into when the word "scan " is mentioned.

Darling you have to be brave and deal with yourself, and you can . This is about an anxiety state- not illness.
Whatever is "lurking" inside you (and there probably isn't anything)- is there whether you go looking for it or not.
What is-IS- if you understand my meaning?
The ladies here have already told you its not a big deal and it's just a precaution so FACE it and get it over with!
If there is something wrong you will find out and believe me you WILL deal with it. If there isn't then think how relieved you will feel! You will also be proud of yourself for dealing with your illogical anxiety.
I promise you it is better to get the test done rather than going into denial. You won't find peace in denial- trust me!

Sending you a big hug -you will be alright


janet c

I am so with Janet on this one and I think she and I come from a similar medical history. The what ifs are something that aren't real and probably won't be but if they are then you will cross that bridge when you get there. The main thing right now is to let the anxiety sit on the back burner for now and come to the realization that this testing is important in order to get you back to optimal health. You don't need to take hormones until you know there are no other problems going on, be that fibroids, cysts or anything else! You want a bandage without an actual fix and that isn't the best option TRUST ME ON THIS! In my case we did the ultra sound before we discussed DHEA, Cortisol or Testosterone replacement. Why? Because if you add these things into the body and there are cysts on the ovaries or other underlying problems then you can actually make yourself feel worse! Any knowledgeable doctor would know not to give you b/hrt without ruling out everything else first! Personally I would ask for a benzo and take the ultrasound. This from a gal that used to do the Prozac/benzo concoction and now takes only bhrt and can say I feel great the majority of the time. Hormone therapy takes time, we didn't get like this over night and we can't fix it over night. It sounds like you have a good doctor you just have to get over your fears and jump into this head first!

Here is what my gyno told me recently: hormones fluctuate hourly, so the testing is not representing overall picture but rather snap shot.
The FSH can stay lower and then sky rocket suddenly, at the very end of the peri.
it is a routine procedure to get sonogram, mammogram, EKG and blood work before starting any HRT or BCP, to ensure you have no fibroids, cysts, check the uterine lining.
pelvic ultrasound is non-invasive procedure, it is a piece of cake, please, don't be afraid, before you take any hrt, you must get everything checked.
If you can't cope with the ideas of being tested, perhaps, low dose BZD can help as temporary measure?
Best of luck.
I.

Thank you so much. That makes sense to me. I am thinking that I will continue with the BZD (is that Xanax) and I am going to speak with my other Dr. about an AD, maybe Effexor, I have heard good stuff about it (thought I know weaning off can be a biatch) Maybe if I can get my emotions under control first i can than tackle my testing fears and move forward toward BHRT and do the ultrasound. Who knows if the AD keeps me level enough maybe I can just not go there with hormones. Though I am thinking it may be good for protective health purposes. I just know my main complaint is the anxiety and panic. My periods don't bug me, I have the usual aches and pains and twitches but those could be anxiety related too. I don't know anymore. There is no guarantees of anything it is all trial and error. I'm going to ask the Dr. for a month off disability as I cannot function with these fluctuating mood swings and just try the AD and if that one doesn't work try until I find the right one (let's hope there is a right one).

Take care and thanks again.

I know how you feel. I just had an ultrasound last week for the same issues. My gyno says that I am in menopause, but my FSH is 8.5, and he's stumped. He had me do the ultrasound just to get an idea if my lining was thickened, it wasn't. They do check your ovaries too for cysts, etc. I think this is all a positive thing at our age. It's more preventitive then anything else. And it was so easy. I was more worried about talking to the doctor after, but he was extremely comforting.
He is referring me to an endocrologist because my levels don't make sense for where I should be. But I had a pituitary tumor in my 30s, so that kind of thing is par for the course for me.
If the Xanax will make you feel better, by all means take one. I have a prescription and carry a couple with me at all times, more of a safety blanket then anything else. I have taken it a couple times, like when I had to go do a stress test, and an MRI.
My doctor of course offered me an AD, but I don't feel like I need one right now. He hasn't offered me BHRT which is what I was hoping for. But I have to see the Endo first and I can't get in there until the middle of September.
Try to relax (not easy I know) and remember that we are all here pulling for you.

I still get periods, my Dr. says I am not in menopause. I have never missed a period. They are becoming erratic. Do you still get periods? I think I am in Peri, and FSH can fluctuate I am told. All of this terrifies me. I think I need an AD just to get control of my emotions so that I can make the right decisions instead of being paralyzed with fear like I am. Just you saying what you said for whatever reason made me panic. I don't like tests because you always have to wait 2 weeks and that is like being in a torture chamber for me. I am so lost in a black hole right now. All I have been doing is crying and crying. I feel like I am in a living h#ll of my own making and I cannot find my way out. Fear is paralyzing and being paralyzed is making me unable to be proactive, which is what I need to be. I am scared there is no help for me. Every day is up and down roller coaster. Doomed feelings and fear, fear and fear and anxiety. What a broken record and person I am.

Thank you. This fear is permeating everything. What a terrible terrible symptom. I am going to try and find an AD that might get this under control for me and then move forward with whatever else I may need to do. I don't know how else to handle this. I just pray I can find something that is going to work with me. I am not sure which AD would be more beneficial for anxiety/panic/depression. What a mess.

You can guarantee that when you are in the state you are in whatever someone says will contain a trigger for your fear however well meaning their reply.
I think you posted with the wrong title because everyone is trying to reassure you based on logical worry and outcomes but you are reacting as a person in an acute anxiety state .
No-one will be able to reassure you at this moment as I said in my post last night. If you continue with this thread you will just get more and more scared because everything about it contains all your fear triggers.

Why don't you stop replying to this thread and start another one about health anxiety?
There are so many women here that are dealing with THAT and no-one is going to say anything likely to freak you out.
No-one on this thread will be able to give you the answer you want to hear. You are just getting more and more scared sweetie.

I do feel for you as I have suffered in a similar way in the past.

Please take care-everything will be ok

janet c

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I don't get periods anymore, that's why my Doctor is confused. They stopped a long time ago.
You get the results of the ultrasound immediately. At least I did. I had it and then just sat around the office and waited for the doctor to look at them and talk to me. No long waiting for the phone to ring.
I'm sure that you will make it through to the other side of all this in one piece. My health anxiety has been getting smaller and longer between freak outs, but it's taken awhile and something can still send me into a panic. I know when you're there nothing anyone can say really helps. But know that we're here if you need us.

Absolutely, either BZD or ADs can get your emotions in check, so you can look at this procedures without having second thoughts and thinking, it is because you have something already, I understand it correctly.
You should be happy, you have a carring doctor, those who blintly Rx HRT without running all tests, are irresponsible.
ADs alone or BZD alone are enough to keep symptoms at bay, so u can start with these and see if it helps.
For what I understand, there are symptoms that can be treated without HRT and those, that require HRT.
Depression and anxiety can be addressed without hrt, as HRT can exacerbate these conditions, but vaginal dryness, hot flashes and sweats and heavy bleeding, as example, probably require hormonal intervention.
I know from experience, HRT did not help with moodiness, anxiety, and depression, but xanax helped.
I think, if you just need to control your emotions, Ads or BZD are good place to start.
Weaning off ANYTHING, including HRT, can be very hard, reason most women never stop HRT, is because they can't function without it, and go back to square one every time they want to quit.
Anything that can cross your brain blood barrier is addictive, BZD, ADs, HRT.
Best of luck,
I.

Wow!! Thank you again!! You have made me feel a little better. I really want to get the anxiety and stress under control because that I think will affect my health worse in the long run. High cortisol and low DHEA is not a good thing. I am not even sure I want to do DHEA from the stuff I hear about it. This is just too much. I don't have the night sweats, vaginal dryness or really heavy bleeding. I know my hormone levels are in the toilet I still have some estrogen but progesterone is pretty darn low. I know this stuff flucuates all the time until you are actually done. My Dr. is a well respected hormone Dr. and I respect he has a standard of care he has to follow. I just don't have it in me right now to do what he needs me to do. So, one step at a time. Your insight has been really helpful to me. I only took less than 1mg of xanax and it is wearing off after 3 hours, ughhh!! That is another concern I don't want to keep upping doses. Although I am reading that you should take it in intervals at the beginning and I only take it when I am freaking out and usually only once a day if I take it (which sadly appears to be every other day).

I have noticed you mention dhea and cortisol a lot. Is this what your doctor is recommending? Be wary to start out with those first because simply balancing your sex hormones can actually balance those two without taking either of them. My Dhea went right up when I got balanced using Progesterone.

I think anxiety and stress impact our overall health more than anything esle, if you don't treat anxiety, it in a long run will impact your health, I agree. I believe HRT helps with some symptoms, but does not address everything.
Not even side effects like weight gain, blood clots, etc. but also anxiety can worsen on BHRT, progesterone made me anxious and depressed mess, but it works for some women better.
testing for cortisol is also tricky, and DHEA is one thing I won't take for sure, along with HGH.
If you still bleed monthly, you have enough estrogen and progesterone, lower than before, but still enough to build and shed the lining.
Re-xanax, I been on 0.5 mg once a day, or 0.25 split twice a day for 4 years, I take at least, once a day before bedtime, so i can sleep soundly. There are days I barely need it, and there are days I take 1/2 dose 2-3 times, still don't see that I must increase the dose, I have learned to defferentiate mental and physical symptoms, and learned to control it with or without xanax.
I never upper the dose and it does not wear out this fast, 6 hours is the minimum for 0.25 mg. I have very bad anxiety post period, days 7-14, internal shakes, vibration, jitters, mostly in the morning and late evening, but I have learned it goes away eventually. Deep breathing helps, relaxation, gentle exercise, nice music, or just quite time alone in a dark room.
But my symptoms are more physical, from fluctuating hormones, what xanax helped with, was mental, emotional turmoil, phobia, fears of dying, flying, health and death anxiety, this is history now, thanks to Xanax.
It helped with IBS, colics and spasms, still does, so I decided for now, I will stay on it, time will tell when I can wean off.
I have tried BHRT, along with DHEA, pregnenolone, and testosterone, and i was suicidal mess, scared to touchy hormones again ever.
I know many women take ADs and/pr BZD in addition to HRT, as we get older, we have to be on some kind of medications.
I have listened to lectures by dr. Eric Braverman, he thinks anxiety and depression and inability to cope with stress, are normal part of aging, as our brain loses neurotransmitters as we age. His view on ADs is is very unusual, as ANTI-AGING MEDICINE FOR BRAIN, not as I suggesting that we all need it, but he thinks ADs help to preserve brain function more than anything esle, go figure. BZD also keep GABA receptors functioning, same as ADs work on serotonin.
IMHO, there are soo many hormones and neurotransmitters in our body, it is hard to replace and balance every single one, so we have to control symptoms.
I hope you find what works for you, I am not 100% normal, but I want to wait until I start skipping periods. MY doctor thinks HRT when you cycle naturally is not good idea, either BCP or nothing, until periods stop.
Time will tell, is he right.
best,
I.