Hi friends, I was doing pretty good lately. No crashing fatigue with onset of period last month after my surgery. I started my period day before yesterday and this is my second day of ridiculous heavy bleeding. The fatigue is off the charts. I don't understand this, I was doing so great. NO PANIC, very little depression if any but now I am having to lay down and the sick gross feeling that washes over me scares me. My muscles feel like they are spasming but they really are not. I am so darn weak and shaky and yesterday I had the disorientation episodes so bad I had to leave a craft store because I couldn't focus or think and was sure I was going to pass out! I have never had a problem with the heat before but now I feel like vomiting. It's 90 degrees and I feel so horrible. My joints are hurting worse than ever, especially my ankles and feet. I pray this is just temporary. I am dizzy, weak and scared again. Just when I had this whole thing on the upswing this happens. I know moving is stressful but I did beautifully and now I am in terrible shape. It does not help that I have family here visiting and I am having to be "normal" in front of them. When I told my MIL that I am having female issues, she looks at me like I have a 3 eye. She never had them. Then to top it off, I feel like I am going to have diahrea. OK, enough of my hysteria......please, would someone just shake me back into reality and let me know that they have gone through improvement, only to be knocked literally on their backs with the weakness, shakiness, sick feeling, body aches, loss of appetite and heavy periods that cause a severe crashing fatigue. I am just getting that feeling like "I AM GOING TO DIE" again. That horrible monster demon that I have worked so hard to overcome. I even have that squeasing feeling like someone is squeazing my heart. I am freaking out once again.....................HELP.............Debra

I am in that boat with you. The only thing I don't get crashing fatique, I am always buzzing. Although right now after I reluctantly gave in to taking a xanax so I am kinda relaxed. All the other stuff I get. I hate it. I had a couple of great months and then the last 3 weeks ughhh!! Although it appears I have added depression into the mix, that and a hell of a lot of crying. Anyways, I am blessed to have a really wonderfully wise father who has been in a 12 step program for 20 years He has talked me off the ledge many many times. Today as i was crying and also asking him if he was sure i was his daughter and that Mom didn't fool around (he said sometimes I am pure entertainment!!) before they were married. I was born 9 months from the day of their wedding. My thought process is I am hoping I carry his side of the genes. (My Mom passed from breast cancer when she was 65) but the rest of the family lived into their 80's. Anyways, as usual I digress, lol. His words of wisdom for all my "stinkin thinkin" is "feelings are not facts". He said everytime I go off on a tangent of obsessing and worrying to say that to myself over and over again. So, I am sharing this slice of heavenly wisdom with you. I am trying to chant it as we speak but all I can say is sometimes I'm not interested in the facts cause I am sure my brain has all the facts I need.........to keep me stuck and mentally imprisoned. I think my Dad is onto something, I just need to practice. Good luck and hang in there, i've heard this stuff passes...it just might take a minute or 8 years lol

Thanks michuganna, I love that phrase of wisdom, Feelings are not facts. I too am going to chant this over and over tonight. In fact, I am writing it on my calander in front of me so I can remember this. I used to always be buzzing myself but something shifted in reverse and I hate it. Hey, too bad there is not a 12 step program for PERIMENOPAUSE.....I would attend religously! Debr5a

Dear 'michuganna'
I would give the World to have had a father like yours.I hardly remember him kissing or hugging me!So that is beautiful.
Sorry about your Mother passing so early.
That is Heavenly wisdom and am going to try using this chant as much as possible.
Oh please tell him what his words mean to me.This is honestly very enlightning.

Maybe if I remember to use this chant frequently I might be able to give up the use of Xanax,which I admit is the the only Med. that helps me to keep it together.

Blessings to your Dad
And Warmest Hugs to you
Elizabeth

Dear 'Debra'
So very sorry that some difficult symptoms have returned.This does happen with fluctuating Hormones and having family to stay does not help
It always amazes me the amount of Women who pretend to be totally un-interested or act unaware when Menopause is mentioned.It is impossible that they are all 'sailing through'with flags held high.Hypocrites!
Do take a small dose of anti-anxiety Med. just to take the edge off.It might help you cope a little.
Am praying you feel better soon

God Bless
Elizabeth

Hi Debra ...

oh yes, i've had all of that too! Everything you mentioned, i've had. All of it! As I sat here and read it, i knew the anxiety within you, and how bad that is ... i've lived through so much of this junk, and all the things you mentioned have come and gone like clockwork, and just when you think MAYBE you're on the upswing....POW...it's back! I know how you feel, and I think most women here do. Then, to top it all of, you have company! I agree with Joyce Veronica here, how can all these women have NO PROBLEM?!!! That can't be. I know you feel like you have to act "normal", but you can only do that to a point, don't stress yourself out over this, or how you appear to them, if you have to excuse yourself and take a break, then do so! You can't be everything to everyone right now. We do tend to do that. I have that "I'M DYING" feeling a lot to........but, like "michugana" said..."feelings are NOT facts"!!! That was so great! Yes, DO tell your father, how far reaching his words of wisdom have gone ..lol.. and how much they have helped! I totally agree...our feelings are ot the facts ... but of course, at the time, that's not how it seems. Take xanax if you have it, sometimes we do need a little help with all of this, there is no shame in that!

God Bless!!!!