Do you girls think that all the stress we put ourselves through contributes to the depression and anxiety? if we had more time to 'play' and enjoy ourselves and didn't complicate our lives with trying to be 'perfectionist's - would this be easier? if we really took the time out to exercise and eat all the right foods to keep our blood sugars running smoothly - would it be as bad? I feel that if I had more time to do some nice things for myself - i wouldn't be so 'stressssssed' and full of anxiety. But -I blame myself because I put a lot of pressure on me to make sure everything is 'perfect' around my house and all the family is taken care of. I almost feel guilty if I don't. if only I could say -the heck with it all and go force myself to do some of the 'pleasurable 'things that I used to do - but by the time I finish my day - I'm toooooo darn tired to go out of the house! how do you feel about this? am I the only one who puts tremendous pressure on myself? Well - off to 'falling in bed for the night! nighty- night girls!

Dear Princessgod
You offer some very reasonable ideas and information on keeping stress levels as low as possible
I eat healthy and do exercise plus Yoga Practice but I still find that on many times-owing to great Domestic stress-all the deep breathing and Herbs did not help me.
Actually I do get out of the house and have a moderate social life.Have also lessened my automatic'guilt reaction' but I would be untruthful if I told you that I have to rely on Xanax from time to time
I think we women seem to by nature put a lot of stress on ourselves but am gradually coming to the stage where I can say 'No' with more confidence'.

anyway hope all goes well with you
Have a nice day
Elizabeth

Being I was always a stressed personality, peri has only exaggerated it....anxious, a worrier, a perfectionist, insecure and BAM...I'm a mess.....

I envy people who live carefree and wish I could absorb just an iota of their love of life lose my fear of it....

Today, I go to a therapist to start "fixing", hopefully, what's got me all churned up recently...

I'm excited but anxious too....

This stage of life is really, really starting to get tough....

I have wondered what it would be like to go live on an island, let my hair go gray and wear it in a braid down my back, wear mumus and sell leis to the tourists. I wonder if it wouldn't be less stressful. Would it be less stressful to not feel I can't go out of the house without makeup? To not care about how awful the skin on my feet is now (the heels especially, even with nightly foot cream)? To not care if I'm a little overweight? To now worry about my grown children? they are doing great, but we are always thinking of them. To not have to worry about if I will have enough money to retire one. That's one big stressor for me. Even though I'm doing everything I can to make it a good retirement, you just never know.

Just give me access to a good library, a couple of good restaurants, decent medical care, and I could retire tomorrow. But, I'm only 56 so that isn't going to happen.

I do get to the gym, but that in itself can be stressful. The booming music. The drive there. The pressure to exercise hard to keep myself healthy. I'm not even going for looking good. Just decent. Trying to lose weight is stressful.

I no longer listen to the news as much. In the morning when I'm eating breakfast, I watch old reruns of "Cheers" instead of the news. I have a couple of laughs before I head out the door to work. Makes a big difference.

Sigh. Back to work. At least I have a good job, a good husband, and great children.

WriterMom

As we all know stress is one of the hardest things we put on our bodies. I have said this time and time before, menopause is just that, makes us pause. We constantly rush around, trying to care of everybody and everything. I know some may be put back by what I am about to say, but I often wonder.... I believe that God designed us (women) to be the care taker, to be the one who nutures, the one who is that "soft place to fall" for the family. In days gone by, women took care of the families, made sure the family had breakfast, lunch and dinner, took care of the home, took care of the babies and the children, and nutured the whole family; do you realize we still do that, but now add we go out 8 to 10 hours a day working outside the home, but it is deep inside of us to take care of the family, the home. So now we have to rush breakfast, we eat lunch where ever we can, by the time dinner rolls around we are so tired that we opt for some fast food fix or microwave wonder... Honestly ladies I think it stinks!!!

I have made a new commitment that no longer will my family suffer bcz of my job, I try so hard to make sure we get good meals, home cooked and healthy. If you look at society more and more are over weight, unhealthy and highly stressed, why, well I believe because we have taken mom out of the home, so who else is going to look after the family, who, McDonalds & Burger King...

The funny thing I was raised to get my education, which I did, become a career woman, which I did, then I became a mom and all that changed for me. I didn't want to big career, I didn't want miss out on the most important role that I would ever have the joy of doing, and that was just being a mom. I don't need a career to fullfill me, I am fullfilled by being a housewife (OMG I said it...) but it is true. And if that we still possible these days, no I wouldn't get bored, why because we all have God given talents to which I would still be able to do and truly enjoy.

I thank God that for 10 years I was able to stay home w/my son, I did work from home (oh trust me that ain't all it's cracked up to be either...well, it was probably bcz of the field I was in Medical Billing); but it was great, and it took so much pressure off the family. If my son got a cold, no big deal, mommy was home. I would get up make breakfast, take my son to school, oh and the best could go grocery shopping at 8AM with no kids and no one in the store (lol).... Now I work for the School Board, so I am still off for the summer, and it is so much easier. My husband ain't rushing around to get our son to school, I am not rushing from work to make sure I can get to him on time after school, then rushing off to the grocery store, then rushing home to a house that looked like a bomb hit...

Wow, sorry ladies, I just went on and on... It's just really heavy on my mind right now, with summer almost over, and it's back to getting up 4:45AM, back to the craziness of it all... My son is almost 11, I just so want to enjoy the few more years of him wanting to be home and w/me; cuz I know those teenage years are fast approaching, when he will start find himself and then grow into a man, and I know that I am so going to miss these years....

Wow....I have had similar thoughts....about changing lifestyle habits...having more fun etc. Just thinking about these changes stresses me out. It is almost like any little upset to routine would prove too anxiety provoking to take it on.

In my case I need to let go of the past or come to terms with it. The stress of it may will kill me one day. As someone said either in this thread or a similar one............lose my fear of life.