I'm in one of those moods today where I can't tollerate much at all. I just need to say something on here where I feel like I can be myself. I can't stand it when people use the word "RETARDED" in a sentence. My youngest 24 year-old daughter is "DEVELOPMENTALLY DELAYED." Many, many years ago, people like her were labled as "RETARDED." Doctors, nurses, teachers, and everyone else that care for or teach these mentally handicapped children and adults NEVER use the word "RETARDED" anymore. That's a terrible word and if it were up to me, I would remove it from the english language. When I hear people use that word in a sentence.....for example...."She look's so RETARDED!" or "That's so RETARDED!", my heart breaks and I think about my daughter who is the sweetest, most loving young woman you could ever imagine. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I hear this word while I'm standing in line at the grocery store...Walking through the mall...even at church. If these people only knew how very much it hurts, they would NEVER use it again.


Thanks for listening.

I agree.....i hear that word on a daily basis at work.....it's one of those words that people use to describe everything/everyone....just the same as the word gay...as in "that's so gay","she looks so gay"etc.....

I am grateful for this post. I will try hard to never use that word again. I am guilty.

Suzanne

Aww, TG, I'm so sorry - I hate the word retarded too and I can understand how hurt you feel when you hear them. We use words like "disabled" or "learning disability" --- We dont like the word handicapped either and it is very rarely used!


Just keep on loving your daughter and be proud of her! That's what's most important.


(((hugs))))

I used to use that word as a kid .. but havnet in years .. just lately I find myself useing it but its always in reference to ME. I have no idea why I started useing it again (menopause) ,, and I feel bad when I say it becuse what Im really trying to say is that "I just did something stupid" .. so why dont I just say that ?? I guess I have never thought of disabled people/slow learners/austistic/downs syndrome as retarted but disabled .. anyway .. for the times I have used it recently I am atoning now .. and am very sorry ,, like I said .. I have no idea why it started comming out of my mouth a few months ago (but then theres alot of stuff comming out of my mouth that doesnt make any sense these days) ..

I can totaly relate to the gay thing .. you know ,, teenagers in the house.. but they tell my you never use the term on someone or something that actually is gay ,, thats taboo .. i dont get it

My teenage daughter uses words like "wicked" to mean "Awesome" and "sick" to mean "cool" -- Totally loses me!

Sorry, I went slightly off topic there, but I think people use words without having any thought as to what they really mean...

Thanks for pointing that out Texasgirl. My kids use it alot. Take care.

It is a good post it gets you thinking about what you might say that could offend someone. I have the same problem as I have a gay daughter a bi-racial Grandson, and an Asian Son-in-law. It's truly crushing what comes out of some peoples mouths. One of my very best friends the other day was describing how badly her one sister treats her, and she asked me " Like gee am I black or something" OOPPSSS wrong person to say that comment to. She blushed and then apologised.

It is unfortunate that people use derogatory words which can be very hurtful. I used to use the word retarded as a child because that was the "word of the day" so to speak. I don't use it anymore. I think mentally handicapped came next, then mentally disabled, then learning disabled (not sure which one is currently and politically correct). Sometimes old habits die hard and I wonder if people use the wrong terminology simply because they aren't up to date rather than the notion of being cruel?

I agree it is a terrible word, but is that because as a society we have made it that way? I don't like the sound of the word retarded and it is never spoken in our home. I think the younger you are the more current you are. Good post. I hope that anyone who is guilty will make an effort not to use it.

Thanks everyone for all your answers. I know all you ladies here would understand where I was comming from. I don't think people, especially teenagers, use the word to be cruel, but it hurts me just the same. When you're out and about in public, you never know who might be within ear shot.

Sometimes I have those days where my heart aches for my daughter. I guess this is one of them.

((((Texasgirl))))

Ya know.... when people use any word in a mean spirited way, they are doing it to somehow to make themselves feel superior. If they only knew how INFERIOR they really looked.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but KNOW that your daughter is just on a higher level than anyone who would call such names.

When people use that word in a NON mean spirited way, they just haven't had the experience of being hurt like you and your daughter.

I'm REALLY glad you posted this. It's an excellent reminder on how we need to speak with integrity everytime we open our mouths!

Yes, I think you always have to be careful what words you use, because words can be so cutting. But I think that for the most part, I have observed what Didgens described. People who use the word "retarded" tend not to use it to describe a developmentally disabled person, and they would adamantly assert that it is NOT ok to use that word to describe someone with a learning disability of any kind. The word "gay" used in a pejorative sense works the same way. People who use it in a way that is meant to be disparaging would NEVER use it that way to describe someone who is actually gay. So the word can two completely different connotations depending on the context in which it is used. Most of the people who use those words would be horrified to think that someone would think they were ridiculing either developmentally disabled people or gay people, and yet it is telling that it is those works are the ones that have the double meanings.

Thanks, TG, for reminding us to be mindful.

And now on a totally different tack -- I think it's really interesting on how the "f" word has both positive and negative connotations. lol I've heard it used with an intonation of awe to mean "coooool," OR to curse someone out on the highway. lol Might that indicate a certain ambivalence about the act to which it profanely refers.

People who name call have really low self esteem..... it's sad. They get some kind of pay off hurting others.

Just to let you know....to the best of my knowledge, my daughter has never been called "Retarded" by anyone. I just hate to hear the word spoken PERIOD, for whatever reason, because it's very offensive and hurtful to me and my family. I can't expect everyone to feel the way I do, because they don't walk in my shoes. I just wish I didn't have to hear it.

Hey Texas:

I know what you mean. I hear this word used and it just kills me. I went to school with a precious little boy who was developmentally challenged. He was the cutest and kindest child you could meet. He did not ever once that I can remember say one word to hurt anyone or make them feel less than they were but the others adults as well as kids were so cruel. Every time I hear that word, I think of him and I want to say to the offender, you have no idea what you are talking about. You are mean and cruel and your mom should have slapped your mouth the first time you spoke that word.

How is your move coming? It is finally going to cool down to the low nineties this weekend and we have been promised rain for 5 out of the next 7 days!!!

Hugs to you,
jeaninne

Thanks for your kind words. We're heading out one week from today!