How many of you get single minded or obsessed about something during different times of your cycle? I used to just panic in general and it was so common for me especially at certain times of the month that I stopped worrying about it too much. Now that my overall anxiety is lower, I find myself single mindedly focused.

Last weekend it was my countertops in the kitchen. We have white tile with off white grout. I had to steam clean all the counters to get the stains out of the grout. That seems pretty normal right? Well since then I found myself policing countertop usage LOL. I check around the counters at least after every meal. From my perspective it was a lot of work and I just don't want to do it again. My family however, thinks I'm a little intense.

Now I find myself unable to sleep just worrying about worrying and upsetting everyone. I guess it really helps to write all this stuff down cause then I can just laugh as I see the words. Unfortunately, as it wakes me up in the middle of the night, my first thought is not humor but terror! I just feel so intense all the time, like a wound up toy about to explode!

oh yes - my hubby teases me and says stuff like " oh no your OCD is starting again" cause ill obcess on something till i find a new obsession....

Been there...done that! Don't want to go back! (thank you bios!...I am normal, again!)

LOL! Yes...YES....Y E S ! ! ! Put a pencil and pad on your night stand. When you wake up...write down your new obsession. LOL!


Make a new Rule (why, you can even be obsessive about it!)




No Problems at NIGHT!


I always worried that I would forget and that stressed me out more. By writing them down on a bed-side list...they will wait for you til morning.

By the way being mildly obsessive/compulsive has its advantages! When you start a new project...it gets done!


LOL!
Shebee

Dear 'rendy'
It is strange but I used to be just like you!A housewife with no boundaries.I would scrub those tiles and clean those countert-tops till they screamed with pain.
Then I had a kind of an Epiphany -no am not Psychotic-when I suddenly visualised people at my funeral saying "The thing we most remember about Elizabeth was her clean house!".
So now ,more mature and maybe a little bit wiser have eased up a lot.If I want to read a book as the dust settles so be it.The World is not going to stop turning.
I think if I am honest would say that this was more of a control issue for me.As I did not have control over many things this was an area where me and "Mr. Clean" could shine.

Also anxiety at this time of life hightens our desire to be driven to do some pretty inane things.I used to tell my daughter"Well if we are burgled in the night at least they will know they have come to a clean house"She would look at me as if I were nuts and I am sure I was a bit.

It is an intense and very draining place to be but in a way you have to work it out of your system.
Me? I take a small dose of Xanax if suddenly feel the compulsive need to go on an intense cleaning spree.
Don't get me wrong,I like a clean house but there are other pleasures to enjoy too.

So Thanks for sharing
You are not alone
Best Wishes
Elizabeth

I dont take bios .. but seem to be past the obsessive phase. just a time thing. I still get the anxiety in my cycle .. but I dont get that single minded thought and cant leave it alone for days at a time.. thank goodness ,, !

Having OCD to start with and meno don't mix! My pet peeve is the bathroom sink. WHY oh WHY can't people wipe the damn water off the counter after they are done washing their hands!!! Drives me nuts!

Thank you nc, sheebee and elizabeth for your posts. I'm so glad you can all see the bit of the humor but for me, I think part of it is control. I feel so terribly out of control in my life right now I think I'm grabbing on to things that may not really be that important. When I was younger, I'd change jobs in a heartbeat. Getting closer to 50, I'm not so sure I am able to do that anymore. Without children, my finances and my time were pretty much mine to control. Now I feel like I wake up each morning with my wallet open and car keys in hand. What schedules will I have to juggle today? I used to dream of traveling around the world. I wasn't afraid to go anywhere. Now when I think of being away from the family I panic. It is getting better, but after 4 years of this I'm no longer sure what normal is. My hubby tells me this is a new feature for me. I have to trust him as I'm not sure what "me" is.

Dear 'rendy'
Me is the person that I have always been but some fine tuning is taking place at a time in my life when I so desperately need calm.Yes I need to control because everything,including my body,mind and soul,have their own strange new ideas.
Thank God this Me-which is you dear Rendy-have a husband who seems to be supportive and that is worth a lot.

Things will get better.That I promise you.
Give yourself some gentle time and patience just as you would to a dear friend.
As for that spirit of adventure it will be back.
And you will travel again and enjoy it.
My Grandmother was all over the World till well into her eighties

Ride with this part of your life
Remember you are not alone in your feelings.
Humour is just a way of getting through the difficult parts because frankly if I did not laugh I may never stop crying.

Warm Hugs
Elizabeth

Elizabeth, thank you so much for those words of wisdom. Great advice and you are sooo right about laughing. Think I'll go post my lastest forgetful moment LOL>

Hi Rendy Sorry to see your having a hard time!! As Shebee said , write it down when you wake and say to yourself, I'll deal with that in the morning and now I'll go back to sleep. See if this will work. It's sort of putting a stop to the thoughts that are being obtrusive at night. I became obsessive, used to check on my son. I had thoughts that I was going to harm him and so would go into his room numerous times while he was asleep to prove to myself that I wasn't going to do anything. I rang my therapist crying because I thought I was going to turn into a murderer!! He was extremely helpful even just talking to me on the phone and helped me overcome this obsession and I used the advice he gave me in other areas when I could see it was starting. I still become a bit obsessive sometimes but can control it now.

Actually I don't think I've posted about my thing with my son before, you have bought it back to me. Iam embarrassed about it but realise it's part of the cycle. I just remembered I used to worry irrationally about looking after my grandchildren when they were new borns incase something went wrong....I have no worries now!

It also took me a long time to work out what was "normal" again too. It will come back in time. With anxiety it seems to blur that line between normal anxiety and excessive anxiety. I still now after being a bit more normal for about 2years find I have to tell myself in some situations that's it's ok to have a bit of anxiety and it's normal. You will become less reliant on your family too. Just make yourself do things with out your hubby gradually, go shopping or go for coffee small things and build it up.

Cheers choco

Having always been a bit OCD, it has gone up a few notches in recent years . Husband notices and just shakes his head when I get into my "ask the same question over and over" mode in relation to "do you think the door is locked?" or "Are yiu sure we closed the window" after we've left on a trip...things of that nature....

And when any of my kids has something going on, I go straight to the extreme end of the spectrum of "what ifs "s....it is awful tiresome and I hope it burns out soon as I'm wasting a lot of life minutes speculating on the unknowns...

Peace to all,
Momz

Your right Rend...it is a control thing....you grab on to anything that gives you some control in your life ...when you know everything else is spinning out of control. ( can you possibly come clean my countertops..LOL!)
As far as how you were when you were younger.....that was fine for that time in your life...but I think different things happen at different times in our life to teach us more about the universe and ourselves. so the job hopping when you were younger...that taught you the confidence & possibly flexability you would need for the rest of your life. And it prepared you for jugglin those schedules you need to juggle today. And you wre younger you traveled more....taught you about other rest of the world or our country...so you can teach your kids...and you are doing that now...you take them around the country and teach them about the different places....and the cultures too. You might do sightseeing...but the way you have talked about your trips ...you actually talk to the people who live in these places and learn aobut their "REAL" life ...stuff that most tourists wouldnt think about fiding out about. So not only do you take your kids on trips...you teach them aobut people and how others live ..and you give them a sense of humanity. And your a Mom now...sure your gonna worry when your away from your kids...normal motherly response....in your 20's you only had to worry aobut you...which is what your 20's are for. Lets face it LIFE isnt NORMAL....if it was.... everything would stay the same, all the time...then how would we learn...life changes to teach us new things about ourselves and the world around us.
So your 40's are a "NEW" normal...as Dr. Phil would say LOL!
And your 50's will be another "NEW" normal...maybe by the end of your 50's you will not only have to worry about your kids...but you'll have some little grqandkids running aorund too...............LOL! (You can smack me later...LOL!)

Rend....I have been around you thru most of your peri journey....I know you have come a long way...and I know you have learned so much about how strong you really are...and I am very proud of YOU and how far you have come.

I remember how Alice3 and I used to talk on the thread "The Place to Start Your Day" about how sad it was that we'd never be able to travel again... It was very upsetting.

A couple years later, we were out and going all kinds of places! And still are!

I went through a phase in the worst of peri, where I lost all capacity to be obsessive! For the first time in my life, the house was a big ol' mess while I lounged on the couch. FATIGUE and not giving a hoot. My husband recognized what was going on, and was actually great about it. I'm back to being neat without being crazy.

(((HUGGERS))) JJ