Honestly my darling you musn't worry. Yes I have been very very ill on hormones. I cannot take any estrogen at all and I never could. I promise you it will go away.
A couple of months ago I cut a tiny low dose hormone patch into eighths and tried one eighth for one week. By the end of that week I was feeling very ill so I ripped it off and decided to stop.
The next week I was in hell-sobbing like you wouldn't believe and terrible thoughts, anxiety-just like you.
The following week I still felt unwell and that was after a total of one week on a tiny, tiny bit of patch.
You have been using a much stronger hormone preparation for a lot longer and it obviously doesn't suit you. The abrupt withdrawal from it doesn't mean that your body will just ping straight back to normal. It is going to take time. Maybe a month or so.
The thing is-
Are you feeling slightly better than you did before?-Yes.
Have the hot flushes stopped?- Yes.
Is the pill completely out of your system? NO!
I would give it at least a month, during which time you will probably gradually start to feel better each day. You already are and things can only get better from now on.
I do understand what you are going through.
My pharmacist said there is a small section of the population who are very drug sensitive. There is nothing to be done about it except avoid the drugs or use tiny doses.
Sweetheart you are younger than my three daughters and I can't bear that you are suffering like this. If I could I would give you a big hug right now but I can't so I am sending one to you
Take care and accept how you are feeling at the moment because it is just temporary
Hugs
janet c