OMG!! I could barely even function enough to figure out how to get into this forum and seek the much needed friendship and help for the horrible rolling or cluster panic attacks and overwhelming anxiety that is ALWAYS there even after the Panic Attack "RUSH" has calmed....ugh. I have not been able to sleep, I awake from nightmares in a ball of sweat and heart pounding so hard and fast it feels like a hammer in my throat...then the tremors and shakes start and the feelings of running out of the house and down the street going crazy begin...this is on the hour at night and during the days I have it all in waves... please help. I feel I am going to end up in the insane ward...I almost want to go there just to be freed of this horrible, horrible feeling in my bosy and the fear in my mind.
So much to relate that I can't even start...I am on day 6 of my cycle..bleeding stopped after day 2, then a one time big gush on day 4 and now just slight spotting.
I am 46, I missed my period for the first time in Jan and Feb of this year and then it started again with 25 days inbetween...during the two missed cycles I had this horrible panic as well but not as bad as now..I went to the ER back then and they basically did an EKG and then let me sit in a room by myself with a blood pressure cuff that kept falling off and beeping because it was not on correct, after 11 hours of this, I left. The next day I went to my doctor who prescribed Diazapam, which I have kept in my purse just incase because I am too afraid to use them because I don't want to feel "weird" from them and then have an ever bigger panic attack thinking that I have been drugged for life and will never return to normal. I am at the point where I need to break the pattern of the attacks and the non-stop anxiety and bad thoughts of watching and waiting for another.
I have this Diazapam, but they are 10 mg pills!! I don't want to take that much, I am very sensitive to medication and vitamins as well...what can I do? Break it into 4 pieces? Is that a small enough amount where it will take the edge off but not so much that I feel drugged?

I have had panic attacks since my twenties but they were nothing compared to what I am experiencing now.

Thank you for reading and for your help!
Meg

Hi Honey and welcome. You are in a safe place.
First and foremost march into your kitchen this minute. Get a cold glass of water and snap a diazepam in two and swallow it. There is a common link in panic disorder and it is called overwhelming hypochondria. The pill is not going to make you go wierd. It is going to calm you down and will do so in fairly short order. Go and do it now. Stop hesitating. Trust me. Wait thirty minutes and come back in and let us know how you are doing. Please do not put yourself through this........I have been exactly where you are right now and so has nearly every single woman on this forum. They are going to tell you the same thing I just did. Now go!! Love and blessings xoxo

I have to agree with Medium at Large...take that 1/2 diazapam to get some relief. I went through the same thing in the beginning of this meno stuff when I thought I would lose my mind. I don't know how I would have survived without my anxiety med when I just couldn't 'come down' from those overwhelming panic attacks where the anxiety just wouldn't stop. The diazapam will help calm you and after a half hour or so you feel you need the other half take it. Keep posting...we are here.

All I can say is why suffer? If there is relief in a little pill - then I say take it! Take only half maybe? I did...worked fine. Also there is a supplement that you can get at the HFS called L-Theanine - google it...also known as Mental Calm. Works really well Regarding the Diazapam, take it only as needed though cuz otherwise it will just make you tired and somewhat depressed.

I don't know why we have to endure this hormonal upheaval but we do, and we can either bury our head in the sand and retreat from life or take steps to make this time a little bit more enjoyable.

CARPE DIEM
Suzanne

I just want you to know that you are not alone and we are all here for you. Medium At Large and surreallife have both given you great advice. I hope the diazapam helps you to calm down. I've taken it before and it helped me a lot. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.


((((((((((((((((((((((((((BIGS HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

YOu are not alone at all. i take .25 mg of xanax when needed. I still hem and haw about it, but when life it too hard from all this mess, we need help. If you had diabetes you would take insulin, right? Well, take what you ned to help you calm down. You will be pleasantly surprised how much better you feel. I noticed I dont' feel anything other than just normal again. Just like myself. It is worth it. Start with a small dose, cut in on tow or 4 and see how you do. Sometimes a whole may knock you out, but, hey, if you can sleep, then let your body sleep. Hang in there.

Thank you ladies so very much for your support! I am waiting for my husband to get home so I wont be alone when I do take the Diazapam tonight. Maybe it would have been better if the Dr. gave me some Xanax since thats the pill I have read the most about on these posts. Ugh, always something to worry about isn't there...now I have a different pill than most on here so I am worried about that....sigh. In the meantime I have been reading posts all day and it does make you feel alot better to read how other women have the same exact things happening to them and they are hanging in there and still have their sanity, so thanks for sharing!

Thanks again so much, I hope everyone is having a calm, peaceful day today and I hope and pray that I have one soon too.

Meg

Let us know tomorrow how you did. I bet you will be happy.

dont assume to much .. about us still having our sanity that is !!

Sane???????? Are we sane? I hope not!!!!!

wow 10mg of valium is pretty hi dose to start off with- cut in half...

If we're sane the rest of the world in insane...hmmm might help to think that way!

Wow, what a drama that all was! So, being miserable with anxiety all day long and waiting to family came home to take the Diazapam, so if in the event it killed me they could be around to watch I guess, lol. My 25 year old son is a Firefighter/Paramedic who lives at home still, now you would think that would be of comfort to me right? NO, he is of the "tough love" mindset when it comes to me for some reason...he thinks everything is in my mind and well with panic it is in the mind BUT what can we do about it?! I am not TRYING to sit here and think about all the ways I can make myself have anxiety and panic, panic finds me and takes over for awhile, it is a tough battle to talk your way out of a panic attack as you all know but we do it. Anyway, once he found out that I was having a hard time with anxiety and panic he began his tough love routine "you're doing it to yourself" "are you just sitting there thinking of how you are feeling?" "you need a hobby so you don't just sit and think all day" "you're going to get a blood clot just sitting all day on the computer etc etc etc etc"...I finally got him to take my blood pressure and it was 160/90...so he became less intense and more supportive, in the meantime my husband was just walking around the house so as to avoid a conflict...my son broke the pill into 4 pieces and then he laughed saying this isn't going to even have any affect on you but take it and I will stay here and watch you. It was like trying to get myself to jump off a cliff, I am that scared of pills and what they may do to me...well I took it and then I cried for a split second, I never let myself cry for very long because guess what?...fear of course! I fear that if I start I wont ever stop and they will haul me away.
About an hour into it I felt dizzy and heavy, heavy legs and arms and panicky...had full blown panic along with adrenaline shakes...then it finally went away. I was able to talk myself out of it. Then I got a headache that came in intense short waves instead of a regular always there headache so this scared me because it was different. I talked myself into not caring about the headache. I fell asleep having surges of adrenaline and muscle twitches....but they were not as magnified as they would have been, I was able to ride them out. When I awoke and looked at the clock (we always hope it is later than it actually is when we aren't sleeping well, don't we! Please let it be 4 hours since I fell asleep and not 45 minutes, lol)it had been 3 hours so I was very happy about that and I was able to get back to sleep, my dreams were heavy but I don't remember them this morning. When I woke up I felt the burning aggitation in my stomach, chest and arms and the "oh no, something is wrong" unhappy feeling that begins my panic attack and it progressed into a full attack. I am talking myself out of it and making myself eat something in hopes to feel better.
I don't know if I should take another piece of the pill or if it will give me another attack....here I sit. I just want to feel normal and carefree and able to handle my life in stride like I always have. I have an appointment on July 2nd with a hormone Dr. I hope and pray that there is something she will be able to do for me. I have to hang in there and your support is helping me greatly thank you!!! How are all of you doing today?
Hugs of thanks!
Meg

The day after a big panic attack can be really rough. For me, I am exhausted. It wipes me out. I still take a .25 mg of xanax a day or two later just once during the way to keep the system calm. My doc said to take two a day for 5 days to break the cycle of anxiety and usually by day three it works. It's just a thought. Try to go for a walk or something to distract yourself if you can. Hang in there, it will get better.

I wanted to write a follow up and thank you all once again for your words of understanding and encouragement during my panic and fear. When we are desperately looking for and clinging onto anything that will help us to feel "normal" and safe again, to be able to read the words of those who have been there and then taken the time to write about it and share there experiences and offer support is a huge deal, so thank you again for taking the time to read my cry for help and write back to me with that help.
I don't understand what I have just been through and am still recovering from but it was very heavy and scary, be it perimenopause hormones, stress, anxiety or a combination, it was bad. Because of your encouragement I was able to take the Diazepam twice and it did help, it took the edge off just enough for me to be able to begin to process normal and non fearful thoughts once again and begin to get ahold of myself. I chose to be a Christian, it is what rings true for me in my heart of hearts and as such I have also been praying non-stop, this has brought me tremendous peace of mind, even when my thoughts were running wild and I did not believe or have faith enough to fully trust in God at that moment(s), I kept on praying and reading about the Divine Mercy and suddenly things clicked and peace began to pump through my veins...I choose to believe, even when my thoughts go wrong, I make the statement outloud to myself that I choose to believe and I ask fo Mercy and I get it, thank you God. I made the choice to let go and let God and I told myself that I didn't have to "do" anything to "control" or "stop" or "prevent" my panic, I just had to decide to let it go, and to breath in the word Peace, and I do that everytime I think of it and to realize not to project fear on top of the panic symptoms, the panic symptoms are nothing to fear, they do not cause permanent damage of any kind, so there is nothing to fear, just say "oh, there is the panic feelings, see them for what they are, and don't project onto them what they are not.

Other things that I have done is to force myself to eat every 2 hours, even when I did not feel like swallowing and I felt sick, I made myself eat and drink. I took aspirin for my headache which is still with me but much better. I had zero appetite, nothing sounded good at all. Now things sound appealing to me once again, thank God because it was scary. Everything was scary. I also downloaded Bronwyn Fox's panic tape and have been listening to it over and over and practicing the mindful meditation and it is helping hugely. I have to tell you though that my ego is such a control freak that it was very uncomfortable for me when I first began the meditation and it even brought on some panic attacks, but just keep trying and loving yourself enough to allow yourself to let go, it gets easier, I promise, I am a work in progress, we all are.

I see a hormone specialist this week and I have faith that with my hormones in balance and my renewed faith and appreciation and allowing of God's Mercy in my life and my chosing to let go and not project fear into my life anymore that I will survive and learn to love my life afterall, lol!

Also, let go of all the past crap ladies, send it sailing! We are NOT our past pain, we are just us, right now.

Peace and Blessings,
Meg