Hi,
I am post menopausal. I take nothing for this. I have found myself not being able to feel feelings. It's so hard to explain. There is not joy, no excitment, no sense of well being, but i can't feel my feelings. They are wayyyyyyyyy down in there but don't want to surface. I can't stand this. And I am very very depressed. I can feel that. There is so much going on inside of me, so many symptoms. I have never been depressed before.
But these strange feelings of not feeling is scary. See, scary is a feeling. I can feel it, but not really.. OH heck, i just can't feel anymore. I found the definiton and it's apathy.

Can anyone relate to what I am going through. Just getting through everyday is so hard.. I can't imagine living like this for the rest of how long I am going to live. Where is it coming from? Does anyone know?

Thanks,
Mamie

I also wanted to say that I can just literally feel this emotional pain. It's killing me.. and there is really nothing that serious in my life that is wrong.. I try to get out and so things, but I'm faking every bit of it. That alone is exhausting.

thanks again,
Mamie

Hi M,
I want to reassure you that your feelings are actually very common. Psychiatrists have recently admitted that when our ovaries fail to produce oestrogen at menopause we become sad and sort of disconnected. It is not a myth, it is actually a biochemical problem involving the brain and nervous system. I do believe that it will improve as the transition becomes complete. However if you feel that you are becoming really depressed you might consider a short course of Ads, just to see you through. Some psychiatrists might suggest a short course of supplementary oestrogen but that is down to personal choice.


Hope you feel better soon,


XIII

Hi Mamie
I can really relate to what you are saying!
I wonder if you might have very low testosterone?
Just over three years ago I had to have a surgical menopause due to endometrial cancer.
I had my ovaries removed but because the cancer was hormonal I wasn't allowed any HRT. I went through a very intense time and then gradually everything drained away. I ended up feeling flat, empty and almost like a weak pathetic child. I had no enthusiasm for life-no zip and I completely lost my libido
Thanks to my doctor I was allowed to go on a low dose of testosterone-even without estrogen.
I went on it for libido issues-I didn't realise how much it would spark me up in other ways!
All my energy and zest for life returned and my depressed flat feeling lifted
I have now had my all clear from cancer and I still use a little testosterone. I am now 57 and I plan to use it always.
I have tried low dose estrogen but I don't like it-I feel better on just testosterone. Women do need this hormone and it doesn't cause masculinisation in the correct dose.
I don't know where you live but here in UK we have a low dose testosterone patch and also we can get a gel which is really for men.
I know in US you can get your testosterone level tested and there are compounding pharmacies that can make up lady strength creams.
I wonder if it would be worth you looking into this?
I feel better now than I have done for years and I highly recommend it!

janet c

Janet,
What dose of testosterone are you on?
I have my results. 24.2 (0-40) But the doctor changed the range himself to (0-30). So I don't know..

It's good to hear that I am not an alien. This is literally suffering... I'm afraid of estrogen. My Mother had breast cancer.
Progesterone seems be make me more depressed if that is possible and I am low in that.. I do testosterone on hand. It is compounded, timed released in a pill form.. I don't know. The test is 2 mg..

Thank you , both of you for responding. This is killing me. day in and day out..

Dear 'Mamie'
The apathy you describe is even more difficult to bear than Anxiety or clear cut Depression.
Having said that apathy is a manifestation of Depression.
So you do need to get some help so that you do not slip down further.Do you have a close friend or relative to talk to and perhaps go to the Doctor with you.
The fact of the matter is that our bodies are our Hormones.Take those away and you have a dried up raisin needing to be plumped up again.That is why I have felt much better on the HRT.
There is also BHRT.These however are very personal choices and they may not be for you.

You need to do some investigating till you find something to lift you from that bottomless black Hole.I have experienced this along with many others.
So there is no reason for you to live like this.
You have the right to a peaceful and joyful life
So please do not give up hope.

Make that appointment and let us know how you do

Warm Hugs
And lots of prayers
Elizabeth

Ok-if you are doing testosterone already thats great ! I am going to turn my thoughts on their head and wonder if maybe you are using too much?
If you are not on estrogen-as I am not, and you are post menopausal, then your estrogen levels will be very low. In this case the amount of testosterone you need would be much less than if you were on estrogen. I feel absolutely fine on the tiniest tiniest dose. If I took it every day I would feel dire.
I have overdosed in the past because I thought I should be using the same as women on estrogen. I went into a state where I felt completely empty. I lost all joy in life and felt really cold. I remember saying to my hubby-I don't even feel anything for my cat-and I absolutely adore her! I didn't want to even cuddle her. I also was very depressed.
I can't tell you how much I use-it's a much watered down tiny dab every now and then. I couldn't possibly use even that every day because my levels are now up to a normal range and testosterone stays in the body for ages.

What Elizabeth says is so true-we are our hormones. However-if you have gone right to the other side of menopause without ERT then your body will have got used to lower levels. We do not actually need estrogen past menopause to feel good. It is only the changing levels that cause the problems.
However-at menopause our ovaries should still continue to put out similar levels of testosterone. It should not disappear, and without it we do feel old and apathetic.
Obviously your doctor knows this-which is why you have been prescribed the T.

Everything is not always about hormones of course-but in my life it always has been. I do not need estrogen-it actually makes me very ill. It caused my cancer and I am glad to be rid of it. But T in a low dose has transformed my life.

Maybe you should consider backing off the T for a while?

Your apathy and depression may well have another cause of course. I am only making suggestions based on my own experiences.
I do hope you will feel better soon

Best wishes

janet c

I am in peri and am just coming out of a bout of this. It happened when I was on progesterone and testosterone. I told the Dr. I had no feeling for anyone, my husband, my kids, my dogs nothing. I would look at them and wonder why I didn't have the urge to hug or talk. The Dr. seemed puzzled by this. I am off the progesterone because It also made me physically ill but, looking back I do believe it was the change in the hormones that was causing these symptoms and making me out of balance. I think the supplemental progesterone completely unbalanced my estrogen. After getting the progesterone out of my system, which took at least a couple of months=======I did nothing but FEEL, everything. I couldn't stop crying. I'm guessing one of your hormones are off. I felt guilty when this happened and scared. I was terrified I wouldn't get my normal feelings back. But, they're back now.

I feel most days out of touch with reality. Who knew in peri you could get the effects of being on drugs without actually being on drugs!!! It's a negative feeling though not a positive one. I feel detached and seem to be watching the world go by while mine falls apart at my feet. I look down sometimes and go WTF happened???!!! I can tolerate NO stress at all and will literally shut down when it becomes to high. I am finding myself struggling to run my business, myself and my family and most days fail at at least one of them. I can't do AD's but do have a new doc so I want to talk hormones and see how far it gets me with him. Should make for a good laugh! I think I simply do not care about anything anymore and that scares the piss out of me. I can't afford to not care or not DO. I have way to many obligations (welcome to life huh?) yet the harder I try the faster it seems to fall. I keep looking for the light at the end, the silver lining, the pot of gold....but ladies I am getting tired of looking. I'm just....tired and no amount of sleep refreshes me anymore. So, yeah I know what your talking about.

I'm not even on test... Sorry to confuse you..
thanks,
Mamie






That's how I feel and I take nothing. OH MAN>>>>>>> And i feel guilty too.

hi
iam from england
and iam 49, 50 next month
i have been told i have fibromyalgia that was in march
since then i get loads of virses and chest infections, and aches and pains i get this nearly every week and it when one virses goes i get another.
i also get hot flashes which seem to last ages and night sweats all the time every day, i hardly sleep and iam on sleeping tablets which dont help that much.
i cry for no reason, iam getting very depressed as iam in the house 24/7 i find it difficulty to go out as i get panic attacks, i only drive to the town centre which is 3 miles away i cant drive further as iam too nervous.
my husband is great and trys to help but i still feel the same, we have only been married just under two years and we are very happy but iam stressed about everything and worry about everything too.
as i dont work money is a problem my husband is on a low paid job but at least he has got a job.
we dont go out as have no money we dont drink or smoke.
iam worried about this swine flue as its on the news all the time i keep thinking iam going to get it, my thoughts are of dying soon i hate feeling like this i was allways bubbly and happy person i feel so different.my daughter who is 21 and her boyfriend and his family have gone to spain today for a month iam worried i wont see them again, they have been together over 4 years i keep thinking they will get something over there.its driving me mad these crazy thoughts.
iam also eating loads i cant seem to stop i seem to feel better when i eat which is not right.
iam only 4ft 11 and i was a size 8 when i married now iam nearly a size 14 and i have put on two stone i wont to loose it but just eat more it goes around in a circle.i cant afford the gym so i cant go there. we have gone for walks when the weather is dry but right now we have had non stop rain for days and its getting worse the rain isnt stoping so cant go out we have floods here.
i tried volountry work but with me getting infections all the time no one will take me on.
please someone tell me how to cope with this iam just getting worse day by day
i dont know if its the fibromyalgia or menopause or both.
thank you
janice

I know I can feel very detached from my family and friends at times and I blame it on hormone induced depression....add to that the feeling I get of just wanting to run away into the sunset and do all the things I regret (I know, ugly word) that I didn't do in my life as the sands of time run out....

I think it is mixed bag of getting older and hormones melting down....

Not fun not fun at all.....

Turning 50 within the last year has turned it up a notch or two thousand...

Momz

Can totally relate to everything you said had total hyster 4yrs ago 1yr later everything you said I can relate to.

Dittonow throw anxiety into the mess simply horrid!!!! LOL

How long have you been post? I can totally relate now add anxiety and pow, Keep praying keep talking to the girls here they are all great! LOL