Okay I finally got back in to see the doc (yet another one in the same practice there are at least 20) Anyway told this one I must get a copy of my labs. She says EVERYTHING is normal. I say normal for whom? How do you know that these numbers are normal for me I ask? She says oh we have a chart and everyone falls in same area for age range. Oh brother! I tell her again look I am really depressed.....not on that particular day for most days I am. She asks me a few questions then writes me a prescript for Lexipro. I tell her wait I am really concerned about meds cuz I am already depressed and one reason I am depressed is POOR SELF image due to gaining weight. I do not want any meds that will cause weight gain.

Anti Depressants are known to put weight on. Also she cautions that it may make me feel suicidal. Sheesh I am not quite suicidal now.........feel very very low and down on myself much of the time but wouldn't actually kill self. Now she is gonna give me a pill that will help make jumping off a bridge seem like a great idea?

Took the prescript have not gotten filled yet. I worried all night that night and couldnt sleep. I worried that I would be locked up in an insane asylum. I worried that if I took the pills I wouldn't be me? I worried about gaining weight. I worried that if they worked then have I been crazy my whole life and refusing to admit it? I worried would this give hubby yet another piece of ammo to throw at me during our dirty fights?

Hormone Levels:
TSH 2300
Testosterone tot. S. 35 Testosterone Free SE .9
LH 5.2 FSH 4.7
Progesterone 4.55
prolactin serum 6.1
estradiol (non preg) 137.20
DHEA 143
Said Thyroid normal although dont see it on the lab results
LDL cholesterol is 109

Dear 'Blossy'sMom'
Sorry that I know nothing about test results but what I do understand is how very down you are at this moment
However,ADs if used properly,starting with a very small dose and leading up to optimal level -where you really begin to notice an improvement-can be very helpful..
Neither are you insane or you would not even be questioning yourself.You sound very articulate and sane to me.
About the fear of weight gain I believe this varies depending on which AD you take and at what dosage.I have been on Prozac for a number of years and it has not affected my weight.
ADs can take up to about three weeks to work and during this time you may well experience higher levels of Anxiety.Be prepared for that and ask for a small dose of Xanax till mind and body come to terms with sudden influx of Meds.Keep in contact with your prescribing Doctor and if you have any suicidal thoughts call her immediately.However,this particular side affect usually is more common in younger patients taking ADs.

You have the right to a good peaceful life and if your Husband brings up the weight issue do not even bother to answer.Just keep sugary products and carbs low and eat lots of fruit and vegetables.A handful of raw nuts is great if you feel hungry.

Please know that we are all on your side here.
We have walked,or are still walking The Menopause Path with all its twists and turns.
But I promise you things do get better.Trust your own instincts and do what you feel is best for you.

Warm Hugs
And Prayers coming you way
Please keep us Posted
Elizabeth

I BELEIVE THE TSH ONE IS THE THYROID.....

YES .. TSH .. Thyroid Stimulating Hormone

That TSH number can't be right. THat is usually a range of .05 to 5 or 6. Low thyroid can make you feel sluggish and gain weight, but you have to look also at the T3 and T4 numbers - they tell you how efficiently your thryoid is using what it has. The free Thyroxine number is also an indicator of thyroid function, so you can't just look at the TSH. I've taken thyroid meds for 10 years so I learned all about it.

I have found that when I feel down, the best thing is to get moving physically. Don't worry about your body image or how you look in shorts or workout clothes. It's more imprtant that you start moving. Start small. Walk 10 minutes a couple of times a day and work up to 30 minutes, then more. THen add exercises and small weights - like 2 pound dumbells. You can do a lot of this in the privacy of your own home. You will feel so much better, and sleep better.

If you don't like taking pills, try the natural way to feel better - exercise and diet. Eat foods that don't make your blood sugar soar and then plummet. We're going for keeping the sugar (and appetite and cravings) even during the day.

Good luck. Check back here for encouragement. Menopause can throw us all for a loop, and how we look plays a part of that.

WriterMom

everything looks good except TSH, check the number, the range is 0.3-3.0, 2300 is either typo or in different units?

Not all AD's are know the cause weight gain. Prozac and zoloft are two to consider if weight gain is a concern. I have used both and have never gained weight on either.

When you say you lay awake at night worrying about all the possibilities that may or may not happen, it reminds me of myself about 5 weeks ago. The lying awake and worrying told me it was time to restart my zoloft after a long hiatus. Do not worry that if the lexapro works for you that it means you were crazy. Lexapro is a selective serontonin reuptake inhibitor and works by allowing your body's own serotonin to recirculate and not be disposed of as quickly, allowing for more serotonin to remain active. S.S.R.I's and S.S.N.I.'s are now being prescribed by physicians to help women with hot flashes. Don't know if you are in this category or not.

Hoping you feel better soon.