I realize that I am going through Peri (since age 32 and am now 41) but I really think that my husband is SCREWING w/ my mind. What I mean is that if I come to him wanting to discuss something that is aggravating me or upsetting me (usually about him) He will often grin at me and give me looks. You know that kind when you don't agree with what is being said or you think someone is lying............the Yeah sure look. When I bring it to his attention he flat out denys it. It is so bad that I resorted to putting a hand mirror in front of his face so he can see it.

I should mention that his way of dealing with things is to needle me then just ignore and after a short time passes he acts as if nothing happened. I am not so quick to get over things.

It seems that rather than trying to diffuse the problem by calmly discussing he will resort to tactics designed to aggravate me When he does this I feel as if I am having a heart attack and feel such rage..........feel as if I could beat the living daylights outta him w/ my barehands. Once he gets me to this level I cannot calm down. Breathing doesn't help, showers don't help. Music helps MILDLY.

Sound to me like he knows how to piss you off and once he can accomplish that he knows the conversation will be OVER! It does not sound like he cares about WHAT you have to say he just wants his "peace". Men can be so awful sometimes can't they. My advice would be to stop letting him take you to this point. YOU are the one who loses control because you let him get to you. I used to do the same thing because I am married to an alcoholic (sober now) but it was the ONLY way I could get him to listen was scream and yell. When he became sober MY tactics did not change and guess what? They did not work! So, I had to relearn how to talk to him. I WILL NOT get upset and yell, I use calm voices and I chose my words carefully so it's an IMPACT statement. NEVER start with "you". Start with "I feel" or "I need" or "I want". It's not as threatening to them but starting with "you never" and things like that would automatically turn my husbands hearing OFF! Frustrating isn't it? Just remember you love him!

My husband used to give me those looks when I wanted to talk about something serious, especially my peri symptoms. It hurt me a lot. Well, I entroduced him to Power Surge, printing out some of the threads for him to read. I wouldn't say anything, just leave them in the bathroom (his office), for him to pick up and read at his leisure. One day he came out holding a printout and said he was AMAIZED at how many women suffer through this. I told him I was glad he took the time to read them and realize that I'm NOT CRAZY! Now whenever he sees me on PS, sometimes he'll even ask me, "Anything new I should know about?"
It sounds like your husband needs to be "educated" also!

I know exactly how you feel. Everytime my husband does something to upset me and I confront him he want's me to forget about it right away. HIs favorite line is "all right, it's over are you going to keep it up all day...end it". But then he will do the same thing again and again and say the same thing. An example is his driving. He does stupid things and curses about others doing the same stupid things that he does. Then when I yell he want's to end it right away. This makes my heart race and the anger just builds because I can't let it out and I HATE that all has to be forgotten and then it happens again. Lately I make sure I let it all out and say my peace for as long as I need to make myself feel heard and get it out of my system. Then I can actually sleep better at night and not have all this resentment built up which causes me so much anxiety and hate.

I'd have to agree with the others, It sounds like this is just the way he handles conflicts and it seems to work for him but it's not working for you so you have to get smarter. It's easier said than done though. Our nature tends to react the same way over and over...

Thanks to all my new PS Sisters. You made me feel better with your support

Oh wouldn't it be a beautiful world if nature had provided us with a wand........tap hubby over the head.......and HE deals with the meno symptoms for one lousy week. That would straighten his arse out real quick. Men cannot relate to what they have absolutely no way of understanding. Mine just nods at me. Not really listening..........just nods. I will then yell"AM I alone here?" and he will look at me and say "What??". Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Dear 'Blossys Mom
Peri is enough to deal with especially when you feel un-supported by your supposedly best friend-your husband.
When things are relatively calm between you,sit him down and explain=in as few words as possible(male brains cannot process words as women do) exactly how you feel

If his behaviour does not change try walking away and ignoring his childish mannerisms .Above all do not give him your power by over-reacting.This is tough but with practice will become easier.

Keep us Posted
P.S. if nothing else works bang him firmly over the head with a frying pan whilst sleeping.Not too hard to inflict violence but firm enough to get his brain back

All the Best
Elizabeth

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Will a Really Big bat work? Lol kidding I think?

In the end their all just big babies arn't they? It's like having a 10 year old all over again! Grrrr!

Actually I think I like the bat idea even better!
And am not kidding
Stay strong
Elizabeth

LOL! Ladies you are too funny. I was so close to using a frying pan or bat on mine last night it's not funny. I swear they do play head games especially when they know ours aren't working properly. I went so far as to tell him that I'm starting to fully understand why his ex is such a headcase now