Hi Everyone,

I am in menopause hell. No doubt about it. I just got a call from the Director, that also happens to be a friend, wondering where I am because I was supposed to pick up 15 easels today and transport them to the Auction which is happening tomorrow. In addition, I was supposed to help with set up today.

I completely and absolutely forgot, although we had just had the final meeting on Monday! So by Tuesday I had totally spaced the most important event scheduled that I was working on for a wonderful cause that I care deeply about.

To be honest, I spent the day in bed, totally exhausted and weepy. This is now an all time low.

I am trying to find a doc out there that understands menopause. I have yet to have a good experience. But, really, this is an all time low. And how do I explain to the Director, who is 34, me 53 that this menopause! I have always prided my self on my organizational habits, which, in the past gave me an exciting carreer as a paralegal. NOT NOW!

I am so ashamed and embarrassed. This is really an all time low. I know I keep repeating this! I haven't lost all my sense of self yet. But I just feel so bad for letting everyone down.

The director doesn't have a lot of money, And I had just had a deep conversation with her Monday night about how she hasn't had the time or energy to clean her house, given all the work on the Auction, so I decided as a congratulation present to her that I would give her a gift certificate to have her house cleaned. Well, now I really feel that I need to mend this with that gift certificate. My mother, while she was alive would do the same for me when I just could not clean my apartment. She would sneak up to my apartment and clean it for me without telling me when work was just too much to bare. I wanted to do the same to the next person.

I know I am being very hard on myself. But, dang! How could I do such a thing.!!!!!

Tell me that I am being hard on myself and I am not going crazy!!!Which technically I must be if I could forget the Auction is tomorrow night. BTW, she got someone else to pick up the easels. And they had lots of other volunteers (all no more that early twenties) so how can I explain this to them!!!! They are just out of puberty for lord's sake!

Dear God Please help me get through this alive!

Any comments, hugs, cheerleading would be so very grateful on my part.

TMKSarah

PS: My husband and I have decided that I should go to UCLA to their menopause clinic for evaluation. He, right at this moment is working a contract job out there, we have commuter marriage right at the moment. Since I have had such a problem finding a clinician that knows what they are doing, I think this is a good idea.

I know how you feel...Before all of this bad meno stuff hit and I was just in the beginning but tolerable part of it I
completely forgot about a Birthday party that my aunt was having for my uncle and my mom. We had talked about it and I offered to bring food and everything. The day came and I got a phone call asking where I was becaue my whole family was waiting for me. I was sooo embarassed and couldn't go becasue it was too far away. I felt really bad. Also if you are coming to the LA area for a BHRT Dr., there are really good ones in Santa Monica.
Let me know if you want the info. You are very normal!!!

Oh, !!!!
Thank you for telling me I am still normal. As I beat myself to unconsiouness (sp?) for doing this.

And, Yes Yes Yes...if you have names of docs in Santa Monica, please let me have them.

I am so grateful!!

TMKSarah

I have read many posts, here, and yes, I have burned three tea kettles and am down to one burner because all the stuff sticks to the burner rings, forgetting names, jeez, I been doing that since my 40's, I have six sets of house keys all around the house because I can never remember where the sets are. And yes, right at this moment I only know where one set is. ARRRRRGGGGG! I don't even tell my husband, he just get way too upset! He can't stand to think that I might not be on top of EVERYTHING...which he is not....and now I am not. Really, I have very good periods of being lucid, then BAM! here I go again. But this was the kicker. I know everyone will forgive me, because they are like that, but when will I forgive myself! One of my issues....can you tell.

I am grateful for being normal....keep telling me this!

Anyway, tomorrow is the big day, and I will work by personal best, and the Auction will be a success and I know the Director will not want the gift cert, since this is not how she understands about cleaning house when one is stressed and how it really does help. But, hey, I am older than her and didn't think of having anyone clean my house until I made it to my thirties....in fact maybe I just might have someone come in and clean mine. I deserve it...right!

Yes, indeed,dee. I think I just might do that.

Thank you again. and again. and again!

Hi,
I tried to send you a Personal Message but am not able to because you haven't enabled it yet. Let me know when you do and I will send you the info.
Bev

sarah:

You are very nornmal given this peri/meno madness.

I am a calendar "junkie".

I write verything down and carry my calendar everywhere.

Even the most mundane things I have to do are written down.

Also you may want to keep pen and paper by your bedside to write yourself notes about things you are anxious about forgetting.

GET SOME TOOLS, GIRL!

and did I mention? You are normal.

Give yourself a break too! your sentiments are lovely - please be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

xo pooks

...like a hacksaw and drill?

I am actually sitting here laughing over all these "meno memory lapses".....and laugh we can cause we all do it. Here is the best meno memory issue I have had by far:

Went to my sister in laws for a BBQ. Walked into the yard and noted my 18 year old nephew sitting beside a lovely looking girl. I wandered over and tapping him on the shoulder remarked "Oh Luke...introduce me to your friend". He looked at me like I had three heads and the "lovely girl" turned her head and said........................................Oh My God MOTHER.....u don't even recognize your own daughter"? I almost died. lol. She had changed her hair ever so slightly and that was all it took to completely throw me off. So be strong ladies........and really....it gives you things to laugh at later. lol.