Hope no one minds, but I am going to use this topic as my one personal Journal. Of Course anyone is free to post, I have been thinking about putting everything into a Journal for a while now, and I also feel that it may be helpful to any others going through the same thing....

I am starting this today, bcz this is the 1st day of my cycle, and I basically want to write just about everyday, so I can try and track my symptoms as it relates to my cycle...

Here is me and my history:

I am 42 years old, have a 10 year old son, and am married.... I have started feeling symptoms of peri for about a year or so now, but had been getting stronger.

I have along hx of hormonal/female issues. In 1988 I was finally dx w/endometriosis, and had surgery. I had been either or the pill, or other type of hormonal therapies for most of my life due to the endometriosis. I went off of them from 1996 to about 2003, when in 03 starting having female issues again, which were all basically due to endometriosis, and I believe by 2005 the beginning of peri....

Currently I am on no hormonal treatment, but I had recently made the change of my diet, supplements, and trying to soothe and take care of my mind & Soul. I have documented all that I am currently taking and doing under "Alternative Medicine".....

Within the past two or three months, things had been really getting out of hand w/my symptoms. I would say the worst of all was the ANXIETY, and PANIC ATTACKS, not to mention to horrible Acid Reflux, anger, mood swings, you name it, I probably experienced it.... So now I want to document this month, to see if the changes I have made to my lifestyle, diet, and supplements are actually helping. At this point I still feel that they really are, but as we all know, only time will tell. I am also in search of the "right" doctor, and come to the conclusion that my hormone issues is more than likely related to not enough Progesterone.

So here I go....

Sunday, May 31 - scale 1 to 10 (4.5)

Most of the day was pretty good. We did have two B-day parties to go to for friends of ours, one on Friday and one on Saturday. To be honest, I kind of broke away and let's say had a few too many beers. I had really cut drinking out, except for my evening glass of Red Wine. An on top of that, I had to drink what I call the "man" beer, Bud-lite, what was I thinking. I awoke about 3AM, feeling a little panicky. Was able to breathe myself thru it, and drink some water. I knew immediately that the beer had made my symptoms worse. By morning I was somewhat better, got up drank more water, then a smoothie, then ate some breakfast w/fruit. Still little lazy today though. There was also occasional symptoms of heighten anxiety. Again, breathed my self thru, had some Tea w/Valerium Root (seem to help some). I made the self realization that while I am going thru these symptoms, beer is going to have to be off limits. At least until I determine if was the beer or the truly just hormones, but I really feel the beer did not help at all. I don't think one or two would hurt on the weekends, but not sure, and not sure if I even want to chance it.... You know that feeling, when you would do anything to make it stop!!!

Spent alot of the day doing some research online, you know that never ending search for the "answer". The more and more I read about the hormones they put in meat and stuff, really makes me think that I might be onto something w/the "organics". I keep thinking I should of bought that book at Barnes and Noble, by Dr. Northrup, there most of been so much information in there, over 600 pages is alot of reading though. I thought to myself, imagine walking around w/600 page book w/big ole words MENOPAUSE... Perhaps these authors could come up w/some code names - LOL....

Made a great Salad for lunch, w/some Mahi-Mahi Salad, was really good. Gave me a little pick me up for a while. Took a little nap about 3. Funny how the brain starts messing w/ya, OMG, I feel asleep is there something wrong w/me. That's the thing I hate the most, it's like I get into arguments w/my own thoughts. Stop Beck, think positive thoughts, come on don't be stupid breath... breath... Ah hell, I will just go for a walk. That felt really good. Made dinner about 6, but really wasn't hungry at all. Besides that I was a HUGE salad I ate for Lunch, so I figured if I got hungry, I could always munch on that. Fed the hubby and kid...

Started getting pretty good cramps about 6-7PM. I was amazed that I really wasn't tired as I was. Nor was I bloated like I usually am. Usually I am so bloated I honestly look 3 month's pregnant, and so tired I could sleep standing up right before my period. So I must say that was better. Cramps weren't the worst either, took one Aleve, and seemed to take the pain away, so that was pretty darn good. Anxiety still being an issue though. Took 2 Valerium Root just before bed. That stuff seems to work pretty good. Slept thru the night...

All in all, I would rate the day as a 4 to 5, with 10 being the best 1 the worst. I say 4 or 5, cause although I did have some anxious thoughts, I was a little better at rationalizing my fears. And though I was disappointed, cause I had really been feeling so great the last few days, I knew to that there would go w/the bad, and just keep my focus on the good. Then once my cramping started, and I started my period, though still a bit anxious, I was still able to say hey that was not the worst it has been just prior to my period.

Now let's just see how tomorrow goes...

June 1st - scale 5

I rank it a 5 cuz although 1st day of period, wasn't too bad. I did however fall asleep like 7, the exhaustion final sunk in. For years have been that way, the 1st day, just wiped out. Today was like a exhale day, that's really what it feels like. Cramps were on and off bad, but not the worst thats for sure. As usually heavy, that's for sure. You know another thing that I noticed, usually my breast get really really sore, although somewhat prior to, but not nearly as much as usual. I did sleep good though, didn't even take an Valerium Root. Think I actually found a doctor, going to try and make an appointment. She's pretty far from my home, but from what I read about her, she should be worth it.

Feel free to journal away, Becca! I always like reading other's experiences, but wanted to point out that there is a whole blog section on the website. Not sure which you're more comfortable with, or maybe you would like to do both? Anyway, just wanted to point this out: http://www.power-surge.com/php/forums/index.php?autocom=blog

Kewl thank you so much I will surely look into that, and it's little odd opening everything up... thanks again...

Just for the record today was about 6...

Feeling better, getting back to normal.... I have that dang ole burning mouth sensation coming back though, but everywhere I read seems just to be a part of hormone change. I did see whereas it could as been vitamin issue, so checking that too... But over all feel pretty good. But I usually feel pretty good about this time... I so dread two weeks, hoping to have my doctor hooked up by then... I still though can't get over how good my skin and hair looks and feels, so something is surely going right. I used to have the driest skin, good Lord I looked like a snake about to shed .... Especially on my legs, but lately I must say the look really good, well at least for my legs... LOL

Just an update...

Day 9 of my cycle, and still so far so good. Feel pretty good, feel like myself. I feel like I am getting ready to ovulate, little crampy and a slight headache. I still have not made an appt w/any doctors, the only I have found is soooo far from my home and it's hard to find that kind of time for I have to have someone watch my son. I am just praying that I don't go thru my hell once I start ovulating, cause that's when it usually starts.

The link that was posted on this site, http://www.cemcor.ubc.ca/ has been great, full of lots of info. I really think we all should read. Printed out their diary, so I will start that too. Based on everything that I have found and research, for sure I need Progesterone treatment, I just don't want to start that OTC, I want to be under doctor's care and advise. Which brings me to another point, I am so pist off at my current GYN, what a stupid idiot. Everything she told is so wrong, and the truly sad thing is that she is probably telling some other poor soul the same thing. I am going to write her, I am, and tell her what I have learned, but I will wait a full cycle and I would also like to be on progesterone to see if that helps. You know just as many women how are having babies, are also going through this change of life, perhaps more doctors should pay attention to that fact...

At least I am for the summer (work for the school system); and I am surely going to take this time to get to the bottom of this. Also made an appt w/my dentist though to finally get my tooth fixed. It's a real old (I mean atleast 30 year old filing) and it is just falling apart. I also read whereas these old filings can cause weird taste in the mouth, and I would be surprised. And at any rate, needs to be fixed...

Still taking the supplements, and eating right. I notice though w/being home, and not on my normal working schedule I really have to pay attention to how much water I drink (in others not drinking enought); and watch my coffee intake. (as I take another sip of coffee LOL)...

Take care all. just wanted to update.

Oh and one more thing... As I was just sitting outside, enjoying a cup of tea (no more coffee for the day LOL).

Do you know that I just basically stop my period on Saturday, yea Saturday. It stop on Thursday, came back and Saturday, then stopped. Now what this is Wednesday, and I feel as if I am already ovulating, no wonder I think I am losing my mind. Until I started actually tracking, I thought I had a little longer break, guess I was wrong...

And another odd thing, I haven't wanted a beer for what two weeks if not more, ah last night I was like craving a beer. Didn't though, figure na. Funny how that works. I never put two and two together until I really started to track my symptoms, and feelings. Weird... just weird...

Well there is surely a pattern, today is like my 3rd day of ovulation, and omg anxiety is high right now. No panic attacks, but today has been constant struggle. I so hate this, I really do. I so hope that I find a doctor soon that will listen to me, I hope to be on some time of treatment by the end of this cycle. I keep telling myself that this too shall pass. Just want this day to be over, so that I will be one day closer.

Well thanks for letting me share. It surely does help, at the least, I know that I am not alone, and my answer lies ahead of me. I am bound and determined to find it!!!