I am not sure is this is just a crazy question. But do you ever feel like your just dying. My daughter is getting married in June and I keep thinking I am not going to be here for it.I get so anxious. I do not understand what is happening to me.

I did go in and found I have allergies. so I am taking meds for that. It has helped with the heavy chest but I still very anxious. I thought maybe the allergies where making my anxiety high because I would get so panicky when my chest would be heavy.

I swear I am going insane, I just want to feel normal. Just finishing up my period. The last thre months it has not mattered when I have it. I feel awful before during and after. I just can not get myself up and normal. No matter how hard I try.

My mind goes off like I am totally nuts. just thinking weird things. one day driving I was like where am I going and what am I doing. This is just crazy. I am in amazement at the amount of women out there that suffer like I do. Just thought I was so alone. Because you would never know just looking at someone would you.

I have had gas so BAD. my stomach grows and push on it. I could play an ocracastra. (Spelling) then other day I get pains. or my stomach just feels awful. I think I should have stock in Gas-X. the doctor says it is just my body changing. But will not tell me I am pre menopausal. which drives me crazy......I need the reassurance that I am.

I think my hot flashes that are normal at this time......throw me into a panic I think the two are very much the same.

Am I alone in these feeling? am I the only nut out there that thinks or feels this way.

thanksfor reading my rambeling mess.

You are not alone .My fear is that I will eventually end up in an insane asylum with no one to care for my kids =( It is not a rational fear but peri is so awful.My doc wont clarify either, she just said that since I am still cycling that my levels will show "normal".She put me on a BCP waiting to cycle to start them.By far the emotional and mental crap is the worst.Hang in there we are all in this together.

i think you are quite normal..i always had problems with anxiety during perimenopause...it was a big daily occurence..i had the hot flashes more often during perimenopause than i do now postmenopause...and i had many a panic attack...my heart tended to get racing and i would then feel like it must have been a heart attack coming on..and it was all related to the time of the month i was in..never quite figured out when it would be happening..but it had to be hormonal fluctuations...i no longer have to worry..i am post and feeling wonderful...very little symptoms..once in awhile a hot flash and some anxiety (but its more life problems)..and thats about the extent to my problems..
i remember those days....hang in there..it is all part of this PERI-madness!

Dear Dannarae
You are not a rambling mess nor or you going nuts.I honestly can reassure you that all you are going through is the result of Hormonal changes.It is very easy for Doctors to say our bodies our changing but really the most help I have got is from these fine ladies on this Site.

The symptoms can be so bad for some of us that we feel desperate for help.That is why we are here to support and listen.I have had the gas and even though I am now Post Menopausal will still have irritating gas as my stomach blows out and I look at least six months pregnant which would be a miracle since I have been Menopausal sine age 39 and am now 57!

The anxiety is always a big one.Ii still use the occasional Xanax,on prescription,low dosage for when everything including myself seems out of control.I have also been driving and wonder where I actually was and other similar events.And as you read the other Posts all the other ladies have had or ,are still having the same experiences.

Health anxities are also high on many of our lists.When I had my regular Gyno.check up and he found what he called a Wart on my cervix and then sent it off for Pathology I thought I would die of fear.It had to be cancer so when the Pathologist called to say it was benign I had another anxiety attack from the relief.Nuts but true.

So hold on dear friend
Keep looking for ways to feel better and I hope your daughter has a super Wedding

Warm Wishes
Elizabeth

This sounds like me just last year. I was a big ball of health anxiety, fear, and panic. I was blindsided by all the peri symptoms and being an ER nurse, of course I imagined all the worst-case scenarios I've seen. I would get a medical workup for one thing then another, be pronounced healthy, and then be sure they missed something serious that would kill me soon.

Since getting on thyroid medication and estrogen, I'm so much better, I rarely deal with that 24/7 worrying anymore. Life was quite unbearable and my thoughts were consumed with worry and fear. Even now, if I think back on that horror I get a sick feeling in my stomach for fear I will go back to being a basket case again. It was traumatic, to say the least.

You will still be alive to attend your daughter's wedding, and probably even her 10th anniversary. Just keep saying to yourself "I am fine, this will pass eventually" I really had to control my thoughts and keep myself busy and distracted, but it was difficult when I had no energy to do anything at all.

Hang in there, at some point you will be where I am now and be able to look back and laugh at this. Just seeing your post made me laugh because I vividly remember feeling exactly the same way, thinking I would never, ever get better. But I did, and you will too.

I've had these feelings also. Especially in the last two years since I've lost both my Mom and my Dad. My thoughts are often about death. The death of my parents and my own death. I was so obsessed with it last year that I took out two life insurances on me and my husband. It was like I was just sitting back waiting for something to happen to one of us. I'm not as bad now and I dropped one of the policies (it was costing too much). Now I try to look forward and tell myself I'm going to be there for my grandkids weddings!

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and feelings. I just wish I could find me somewhere. once in awhile maybe? I am sure that things will turn around and I must say I am very impatient. But I would like a few days to just be happy...satisfied.....content. I hope those days are coming. Maybe I am changing and thats okay. Some changes are good. But I would like to be more content with my feelings.

My dad died 11 years ago. I know he has been on my mind alot lately with My daughter getting married. I know this day would of been very speacil to him. Maybe thats what is wrong with me. the sentamental stuff./ I am not sure; But

thank you all so much/

Hey there,

Yes I get terrible mortal fear.......I have even had a couple of times where I was afraid I would not make it through the night......it comes and goes. Terrible!! I really have to talk myself through this stuff.......as for the gas, I hear you on that one!! Very painful......

Hope it passes soon, babe......

DanaRae:

Lord, no, you are not alone. I am having the crappiest day I have had in a while. I feel completely and utterly crazy alot of the time and surely have no idea how to fix it. I try so hard to tell myself what this is and that it will pass, blah blah blah...it does not work. I get so transfixed on the anxiety and what is happening that I want to unzip my skin and move on (hahaha as if that would work). Maybe a lobotomy is not such a bad idea because even if I have symptoms at least I wont know it or care about it.

Please remember we are all in this together here. You are not crazy.

Hope this helps. Hugs to you,
Jeaninne

I can relate to this. I have several people in my extended family with mental illness. With all the craziness peri has caused, I'm really concerned -- and I'm not EVEN exaggerating -- the the peri just hastened what was already going to happen to me, that it's just a matter of time before I snap, start hallucinating, and get put away and forgotten about.

I think that the worrying about not being here for events is just part of the anxiety disorder that peri women are so fond of. Seeing as a big symptom of that is fear of death, and you're anxious all the time, I'm sure that's what you're feeling. I empathize with you, and I'm confident that you will indeed be around for the wedding, and likely for many years longer. Good luck to you.

Danarae, I know how you feel.I feel the same way. I am glad that I am not the only one, although I hate that you are going through it too.

Me, too - I've had obsessive thoughts about how long I will live. I worry about it, every day. The worry starts when I wake up and continues throughout the day.

I don't know why we all seem to have fears of death that are so magnified when we reach a certain age.

I FEEL THE SAME WAY. EVERYTIME I TELL MY KIDS OR HUSBAND GOOD-BYE. I WORRY I'LL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. MY SON SAID TO ME YESTERDAY "I'LL BE DRIVING A CAR IN 4 YEARS", AND I THINK BOY I HOPE I'M AROUND TO SEE IT. I THINK THE PERI ANXIETY COMBINED WITH I HAD A SISTER AND NEPHEW DIE WHEN I WAS IN THIRD GRADE, AND BEING A NURSE AND SEEING ALL THE BAD THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN, IT ALL AFFECTS ME A LOT. I WAKE UP EVERYSINGLE MORNING AND PRAY FOR MY FAMILY AND MYSELF THAT WE MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY, AND AT NIGHT I AM SO GRATEFUL. MORBID SOMETIMES, HUH?

I do the same, Shelby. I thank God every day, literally, that we've made it through another day. I pray often. I pray about our health. I pray about everything, but especially about health.

It is amazing how the mind works. I am not sure why it happens. But I notice alot of diffrence with the changing os the seasons. I seem to have a harder time spring summer then I do in fall and winter. I wonder if it is the stuff in the air. I know that I should be happy and carefree. I have a good life. a good husband and four wonderful children. But I just can't seem to get myself out of this slump.

I went through an awful time with my mother being in the hospital last July Aug, and sept. My doctor said I was more calm then. I am a mess now. My mind works around me not feeling well. When you go through every day stresses then you have symptoms on to of that I think it makes it twice has bad then if you had just one or the other.

I have spent days reading these boards. it amazes me the times that women go through. But we would not notice it out in the stores or on the streets. we come here to help us get a grip on what is happening to us.

I am so looking forward to my daughters wedding and the excitement that she has pleases me. I just wish I could get over this hump I am in.

Thank you all for showing me that I am not alone and that you all feel the same. not that I want you to. But not feeling alone helps

I dont have those quite as much anymore,, but I have a previous post here somewhere where i just started saying "ok die already cuz im kinda busy" .. then I realize when I continue to breath Im not going to die ..but I must admit at times it was dibilitating. I remember having this skin growth,, doing researh on the internet and thinking it was skin cancer and running to the dermatologist thinking I would die any second,, she said "oh ,, its just a keratosis" and within 5 mintues she had removed it. After going through a couple panics like that I dont flip out as much. IT GETS BETTER !! trust me ,,

Yes, all the time. Last fall when I put away the hummingbird feeder, I said to myself, "well, I will not be here next year to get this back out!" but guess what??? I was.

But I do have this feeling all the time and it is not much fun! I just never plan anymore because I do not know how I will be feeling that particular day.

mood_swinger

I feel this way often, I constantly worry about my kids and how they will turn out without me....they are only 9 and 7, they need me. I am so sad and often think to myself that this will be the last time I _________ (whatever it may be). I just thought that this would be the last time I enjoy this time of the year. It is sooooo sad to live life like this, but honestly, I think about it all of the time.

I just pray to the dear Lord that I live to see my babies grow up, that's all.

I am sooo scared right now.

Tracey

I can completely relate to ALL of your statements! Right now my stomach is playing quite the melody!!! It comes and goes---sometimes I have gas issues for weeks at a time---then it is gone! As for the thoughts of death---count me in. I have had many nights where i thought i wouldn't wake up. Had a recent scare with a mammogram---everything turned out fine---but in the midst of it--i was already thinking of my funeral!

It is so hard to believe---but it is "normal" for this stage of our lives. I do try to exercise and keep reinforcing positive thoughts---but there are definetely days where that is almost impossible.

Hang in there

My gosh, this is me! Or it was a few years ago. I had gas so bad it ruled my life. And I became clinically depressed a few years ago right after my dad died. I just wanted to die and I was sure it would happen any day (I was afraid I might hasten it along!).

The gas turned out to be an ulcer (or else it was coincidental). The ulcer meds may have exacerbated the depression (something I didn't discover until the ulcer came back last fall). I started to come out of my dark hole after I went on Wellbutrin (and got off the ulcer meds), but I gained over 100 lbs.! Talk about trade-offs.

I realized the ulcer meds (Reglan) were affecting my depression when it came back all of a sudden last winter. Off that ulcer med (and down 50 lbs.) and life is back to being worth living again.

I'm beginning to get the impression from scanning this site that many of the things I've been going thru may not have been my diabetes or my ulcer or my depression or my (fill in the blank) but perimenopause! Wow.

Why is this such secret to doctors?!

So glad I found this place!

Ellen