Thought I did this already. Last year I had a really bad time with fear. Fear that I had some horrible disease mostly. I know that many women seem to have these periods. My poor husband and daughter must have despaired completely that I would ever be me again. So did I. I practically lived at my drs office. I am on a low dose ad (which certainly has helped). I had every test under the sun and all that was found was that I had a few small fybroids. So then I finally felt that I was back! Everything has been great. But in the last couple of weeks I can feel it creeping back. Every little twinge is something life threatening. I feel like a total hypochondriac. It in amazing what our minds can do to us. I am hanging in there but it is a struggle. Even just writing this down has made me feel a little better. Weird isn't it. Has anyone else had this fear go away and come back again some time later?

Hi there.Yes I have that fear except my fear isn't just a health issue.I fear that I have some sort of terrible mental illness like..schitzophrenia...bi polar..the list goes on and on and I scare myself to death !! I felt really good for about 2 months and then BAMM !! High Anxiety, intense sadness and foggy thinking all started creeping back in.I saw my gyno today and she started me on a BCP and ran some labs but told me that more than likely they will come back normal because for one I am 31 yrs. old and that I am still cycling she said that it just isn't very reliable to test for perimenopause so well try to ease the symptoms with BCP.so we will see how that goes she wanted to put me on sarafem a AD but I declined.I hope you get to feeling better soon ,Hang in there !!

YES I HAVE
It is very scarey. You think you'll never be yourself again. Then one day you feel a little better but not to jinx yourself. Then as days go by you start to feel better and better only to get dumped on again. I'm always afraid to say that I feel great because I know one day soon it will come back.
The mind is very powerful!

Thank you for the words of support and sharing your experiences. I think I need a new activity in my life. Something else to concentrate on. I know that I feel better when I busily occupied. i have always wanted to learn to play the bagpipes!!

Oh I have this alot. Some days, I can go by and do anything and not let anything bother me and others, every twinge, blip, ache or pain relates in my head to "uh,oh, what was that?" and then I focus, um, obsess, over it for hours even days. I think it's a hormonal swing but it is rough. YOu are not alone. I hope today is better.

A BIG yes from me also,drives me mad i think mine stems from breast/rib/muscle pain,since sept 08 that have been to Dr,s numerous times my brain just goes into meltdown,but i logically think well its a definate pain/ache so WHAT is it?? Ive also had period type pain for last 3months week BEFORE!! period. My mind going into overdrive already feel very reluctant to go back to Dr as i,ve been SO much lately,scared they won,t take me seriously,I,ve asked if it,s my age (43) NO has been the reply too young 51 is average!!!! which leaves me thinking "Well what the HELL is wrong withme then?" and brain starts again,i think if pain was fleeting i could cope but breast pain hasn,t been or is this other pain they are hanging around which panics me.
Some advice DON,T GOOGLE symptoms (i,ve done that freaked myself out) more than am freaked out already.
I don,t buy magazines with ailment guides in them.
I would say this is my worse symptom (if it is a symptom) health anxiety i,m always posting about it. i,m right alongside you with this.
Feel free to pm me if you wish,i,ll always answer,i know how scary this is
take care K x

I definately agree with the DON'T GOOGLE. It is the worst thing we can do. Thanks Kath. You can pm too anytime.

This is my first entry on a Power Surge message, and I hope I do it right. I've been reading Power Surge for years now, and this site has kept me hanging on to sanity during most of those years. I've had it rough these past 5 years. I have filled 2 big fat notebooks with my journaling; journaling is my best friend. Anyway, I always read the Panic Attack posts because I really suffer from health-related panic attacks. I mean, any little "health scare" can set me off for weeks, and I get OCD in my head about it. If my adrenaline spikes, I'm a goner for about 2 weeks. So I try to control that spike, but I'm not always successful. The worst part is the mornings. I can't seem to shake this UGH feeling, like I'm about to die. Literally, for the past 5 years, during my "bad times", I literally feel like I am walking to my own execution, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I wake up every day with dry heaves. The second worse thing is that I have to remain functional in this condition of mine. I supervise 25 very immature people, all looking to me for example, for help, for some sort of magic wand. They'd all sell me up-river if they had the chance, as much as I'd like to do well for them. Needless to say, this pressure has made life a living hell. God knows I appreciate my job, and I appreciate the fact that I wake up each morning, but I also despise my job and the nausea/panic that says "hello" to me first thing every day. I'm on Yaz, and it has helped tremendously but not completely. I'd sure like to be my old self again. I literally woke up feeling this way one morning 5 years ago. It took me a while to realize that it was menopause, my psychiatrist, a 55 year old woman who had gone through menopause, NEVER MENTIONED IT. So I fired her. Anyway, readers, I could go on and on, this has been bottled up for years.

Dear Stm,
You said you could go on and on. Well you should, get it out,thats what this site is about. And as you this site has kept my sanity in tact.
Obsessing over health issues,has been almost to much to bare.I do understand,it,s a horrible place to be.

I seemed to have a little break from this and WHAM its returned alongside my period which it never coincided with before....

Feel so grotty the last 2days.
Had every ache twinge,cramping,neck/jaw pain/soreness.high anxiety during night (new one for me)

Anyway Stm hope to hear more from you on the boards.

Take care kath x

Dear 'Stm'
A big warm welcome to the Power Surge Site.
Journaling is a great way to keep trace of events symptoms etc. and helps to keep things in proportion.
Have you tried any Herbal remedies?I do not know too much about them myself but you could investigate this with an Alternative Practitioner
.Five years is a long and draining time to be feeling so un-well..

Many Doctors,Psychiatrists included,seem to have this strange idea that 'Menopause' is all in our head and we just enjoy torturing ourselves!Amazingly,I read somewhere that 80% of female Gynos. put themselves on HRT.

Maybe it is time to review the Yaz.Sometimes upping a dosage or trying something new may be the answer.

Come back again and let it all out
It does help
Best Wishes
Elizabeth

I hate to admit to anyone..... But this is me also.

I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Which generally means, I have anxiety and there really is no "trigger", its free floating...Comes when it feels like saying hi, and leaves when I finally take a stand against it (ie, Xanax, lol).

With this diagnosis came the realization that I AM NOT DYING! (Well not yet at least and not from some weird disease they havent named yet!).

If I get a headache, I swear its a tumor. If I cough, I have lung cancer. If i get that all familiar tightening of the chest that comes along with anxiety...Im having a heart attack. Which none have come to pass in 13 years! (That is how long I Have suffered with anxiety)

I have had every test known to man and they are all fine.... I am healthy except for endometriosis and now Menopause.

Now, I used to only get the "visitation from my unwanted friend (health anxiety)" once in a while. Maybe once a year or so.....But once Perimenopause hit, it started happeneing more frequently....I never put 2+2 together until recently either. And I have to admit, I can handle the anxiety and fear knowing its normal what I am thinking. Im not sick, its my hormones...... And one day, Ill be adjusted to this new physiology and it will all be over and Ill be happy again.


Hang in there, youre normal!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, goils. I did my post twice !!!! Aaargh! You'll also see the same post under "I need to let it out" or something like that.

My doc looks me straight in the eye and says "you should just stop whatever it is that's upsetting you". Gee YA THINK? I shaved my legs for this visit?

Someone suggested that my glucose level might be low in the morning. Other things I read online say my cortisol might be high. Who knows. But I will eventually check them out.

As I am already a walking pharmaceutical, mostly with herbal stuff, and vitamins, I really don't want to add yet another thing to my regimen, until I give this some time. Because if I do, I'll start worrying about liver cancer or something.

Had a really really really bad morning this morning. Usually, once I FORCE myself through my morning teethbrushing and hair combing ritual, and get to work, I'm just fine around noon. Usually. If not, I take half a Klonopin, and my pill is already 1/8 of a regular dose, so that makes 1/16 of a regular dose ! But I feel like I've failed somehow if I have to self-medicate like that. Not to mention the Klonopin makes me groggy, and my job requires me to be "on" or I swear one of those immature fools will take advantage of me. And my boss? Don't even go there....

I have no one to rely on but myself. I have a boyfriend, and he's a sweetie who tries real hard, but it's not like I can quit my job or anything and let him take the wheel. To be honest, I'm thinking about breaking up with him and that weighs heavily on me. I've never thought along the "quit my job" lines before, I've always been "Miss Independent", and this scares me. So I take it easy, as much as I can anyway at work, and know that my best, for now, just has to be good enough. I have a daughter who graduated from High School 13 days ago, and is moving to San Antonio soon, to go to the University of Texas. That's probably bearing down on me more than I realize, right now. I love her so.

And my mom needs me. She's 80 and lives 1500 miles away. And oh, my oldest brother died March 30th. THEN, another brother died 12 days later, on Easter. So death is really foremost in my mind right now. Plus crying a lot.

Enough for now?

Thanks. Yes, journaling does help. My books truly are my best friends. Those books and my puppy Watson. He is a mini-dachshund that ADORES me......endless, unconditional love. I swear I'd take a bullet for that little boy !

Anyway, what I really like about journaling is reading through my old stuff. It comforts me somehow. I see patterns and know that I'm not really crazy, it's the hormones. Still, I long for my old self. Oh well, give it time huh?

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such a troubling time in your life. I thank God every day for my husband, with out him I dont know what I would do. I also want to say Kim honey I love you, you have become my life jacket. I also have told a few docs just what I have thought of them in the past three months. Stress is a big factor in meno. Some times it is there and you dont even know it. Try to take each day one at a time. I was a walking hypo myself anxiety thru the roof all the time. I have finally come to terms with the xanax until i get past this point in my life(tried to ween off it twice got me no where) take meds if you need them, they are not a death sentence, just a crutch for now. good luck to you
Renae

Hi,
I am new here but I wanted to add my prayers and support and understanding of this hell of a time we are all going through....hope today is a good one for you!
Hugs,
Meg