I have come to the realization that I am living my life in the same manner as Bill Murray did in the movie Ground Hog Day. In the movie he is stuck in a day where he keeps messing up and has to live the day over again until he finally gets it right and is allowed to pass to the next day. I feel this way because I too try to get and do everything right and if I don’t succeed, I put what didn’t work in my head and try something different the next day, hoping for a better result. For instance; little random acts of kindness I think are a good thing. I like doing them and it seems to work. So I will, when I go to the market on my own, pick up some flowers to put on the dinning room table. After doing this several times I was told that Tulips were the preferred type of flower and that is what I should be getting. OK… Tulips from now on. So yesterday I went to the market to get stuff to cook dinner and I walk right by the cut flowers because I know now that they won’t do, and I see tulips in pots in another area. So I pick out the best of the bunch and bring them home. The wife comes home and I hear, “no no no…. not potted tulips; they have to be cut!
Oh my God! I got that wrong now! I mean come on… they are tulips. They will last the longest this way. What possible difference does it make? She tells that these look like something you would give your Grandma. "Cut flowers are much more esthetically pleasing". She is now kind of joking about the situation and apologizing for being so fussy.
This situation is so similar to a lot of things I do that it just dawned on me that it’s like Bill Murray in that movie. Hopefully I will get it all right someday and be allowed to pass to the next day.

Devoted
PS The Tulips were out on the deck when I got home today.

Also for the question about why the men are keeping quiet. I don’t know about others, but this time of year there is too much to do around the house now that spring is here and because of that computer time is limited.

Don't take it personally. She may have put the tulips out on the deck knowing they would like the sun. My husband on the other hand has quit trying to get it right and has learned to just let me be and you know what? So much stress between us is simply GONE. I know he loves me and he knows I love him and his little shows of love are very very evident but they are small now and scattered throughout the day. If I respond positively WONDERFUL but if I don't respond at all he has allowed it to be ok for now. Right now I am working on making HIS needs a priority in my life....hard to do but I'm trying. Trust me, even if she reacts negatively to the gesture she DOES appreciate it and does notice it.

You tried