I'm just so tired of trying to figure out how to get my drive back. Partly I know it comes from our brains and I have had issues with my husband for a few years but at the same time I lost an ovary and my hormones started the flipping stage so not sure if they are related. But here's the thing, I finally decided to start the bios last June and took 2.5mg of testosterone every day and I never got my interest back. Also since I hadn't done the deed hardly at all for awhile, when I tried to work my parts myself, ahem, I noticed nothing really happened. I've tried this once in a while all along while on the T and E and P and still not even a blip. And, it was a bit tense and uncomfortable to boot.

I'm now on thyroid hormone and DHEA and still taking 2.5mg of T just not every day (had a above normal range one month, and no interest then either) and a higher dose of estriol and estradiol and still nothing is working.

Is it possible that I'm broken for being in the cobwebs so long? Do I have to exercise myself every day to get it back? I don't really feel like that either. I have no interest whatsoever and it makes me sad b/c I've been using these hormones and really wanting to feel a spark or something to get me going. But nothing, and my parts are not responding at all.

What am I doing wrong?

Hi Corky,

Don't feel bad, I can't believe how my body is responding either. I also lost an ovary ( I think we've discussed this before) and hit peri quickly after. I also have been on all the bio's and T cream and have found that my sexual response is off on another planet never to be found.....lol

I feel like it has slowly just disappeared. I hate feeling this way. My body seems to responed in some ways, but the southern region is a faint little sneeze and thats it.

Are those powerful feelings gone for ever? I'm just wondering because this is the first year that I have skipped many months without a period and have heard others say that it may get better once the hormones settle. Problem is that we are taking hormones and yet nothing is really helping in that area.

I hope some of the others who are in meno will chime in and give us the scoop, good or bad I would like to know.

Hugs, Juliann

I am afraid that I am another one that belongs to this club, unfortunately. I am still waiting to see a gyn to see about trying out some T. I can only hope, even though it didn't work for you guys.

It is so bizarre for me b/c I have read many books on this and those doctors that talk about hormones. They say to take all 3 to restore vitality, sex drive, and energy. Well I've been doing it for almost a year now and nothing. Recently I figured it was because my estradiol was too low in relation to the testosterone so I've upped the estradiol and estriol and just take the T 3 times a week. I've been doing that for about 2 months now and still no interest at all. Then I watch Oprah or some other talk show and see how some women get on the bios and after a few days or weeks they feel incredible.

Then I think is it just me and being with my husband for 20 years? Maybe it's just that I have had no interest in so long that I'm never going to get it back? I wonder if it's more that I'm so set in my routine and it's not part of the routine. But then I think if I felt giggly wiggly, I'd break out of that routine.

I was hoping the T would just zap me into high gear and it hasn't.

I hope it works for you Floater. It seems to work for many, but so far not for me. It could be b/c I've just been so out of practice for so long that my brain is just wired to forget about it.

I was watching Desperate Housewives on Sunday and one of the couples were doing it every night for 30 days. I saw a news item on that a few years ago that some Church was telling their couples to have sex every day for 30 days and they would get that spark back. Well I always thought that maybe after awhile it would go the other way; that you would get tired and feel too much pressure. It seems that was the case on the TV show.

Maybe I should try that??? But for me I get pain and other problems, so it just seems like a waste of time.

I do hope you get lucky with the T. I'll stay on it for now and hope it gets better.

i lost my mojo several years ago - and im not looking for it !!! im retired- i put my 30 yrs in !!! actually my husbands plumbing is clogged- but im not complaining, we still cuddle !!! lol

Corky,

Do you use extra.....ahem.....lubrication??

Ahem. When I have tried, yes I have, and doesn't help that much. I have one that is very popular that enhances the effect and it did nothing in that department. I think I will have to try that 30 day thing even if it only lasts 5 minutes a day, LOL. I think that b/c it's been a long time maybe that is the problem. But I remember when I was younger and not dating at one time for a few years I didn't have that problem.

The other problem I have is I'm also taking Armour and cortisone for fatigue, low energy and though it helps somewhat during the day, by 5pm I'm beat and ready to just pull the covers over my head; which I do most nights. I also still have low back pain problems which also don't put me the mood either. So I have a few things going on now for about 3 years.

Last night my son came up and told me "Dad is in love with just one woman and it's Aubry. He may dump you for her." Aubry is one of the Deal of no Deal gals. LOL. I said that's okay; she's very pretty and young; you'll have lots of fun with a younger, beautiful Mom, then he told me he just wanted me; how sweet.

Anyhoo...I was just trying to find out if the unworking parts were common during these hormonal changes. It's so hard to balance.

Oh ladies, I am so glad to not be alone. I feel the 'expectations' to have a big drive because I am 38 (have been in early peri since 35 or earlier) and given all the society seems to think about those hot mamas in their 30's, I'm supposed to have the biggest drive and the best sex of my life right now! Uh, right! I think I went through my 'hot' time in my mid 20's, and it is a bit frustrating (for hubby and me both) to remember that time when we were like little bunny rabbits!

Luckily, or sadly, depending on how you look at it, my husband is 48, so he is not ready to go like he once was (we like the little blue pills), so I think I have more reprieve from some of the pressure than I would with a man my own age. But it is very frustrating to have time alone, kids all busy and not home, and nothing ZIP no desire to be with him. He is very understanding, but I can be soooo hard on myself and think I am doing something wrong, or not trying hard enough, or am broken.

I hope all you ladies have hubbies that are understanding. I think it would be much harder for me if he pressured me, or belittled me because I have little desire; instead he is very patient and understands it is NOT him.

Sigh... yes, if anyone can let us know if there is hope at the end of this road....

I still had my libido when I started the bio's almost 4 years ago. The shift happened about 1.5 years ago for me. It was like I woke up one day and it just was "gone"! I think you are right that many things within a marriage are a factor in this situation. I've been married for 30yrs. Hubby has also changed and we've talked about how "different" our sex life has become. I'm glad that we can talk about it and that we "both" understand that these changes are taking place in our bodies, that does take the pressure off.

But as a women I am sad to lose those thrilling feelings. When we do decide to make a night of it, it's more of a planned event. He still finds me sexy and attractive, but gone are the days when I could just "show up" and he would be ready. Now it's more like work. Okay, that was a bit depressing, I HOPE someone has better news!!!

Juliann

Maybe it's nature. We're not making any eggs to reproduce so the body just shuts that department down. But men can keep making their swimmers so their bodies keep chugging along. At some point they to slow down i suppose but not at the same time as us. Then again, some men do get that other problem and need their blue pills.

I have to do something soon. It's been too long.

oh ladies.. thank you. i haven't been here for a long time now, but i came looking for any clues on this too.. looks like there just isn't any hope at all. i am now 56, 2.5 years post, still with a much younger husband who wants the old me back, the one who was physical and happy and proud to be so! not now, and i want to cry every time i think on it.. cuddling is nice, but then he wants sex, and i don't want it at all. i rarely feel desire, and even if i do, i know it's going to hurt, even split the skin, and that shuts me down again of course. we have tried alternatives... it's not enough for him. it's got to the point where even the alternatives leave him unsatisfied. this loss of my libido seems to be eroding the core of our marriage. i don't know what to do any more...

i was reading about testosterone, but looks like it doesn't work either from what i have been reading. there's nothing i can see about what long term usage might do either..

Hey Zen,

Nice to see you back! In this situation it has to be hard married to a younger man. I feel for you, I know you want to keep him happy and plus you don't want to seem "old" to him. My only advise is to do similar to what I do and plan the event and try really hard to make it nice for him (once in a while). It's just sad that time marches on and our bodies don't function like they once did. I will literally "entertain" him and pull out all my lotions and potions, he thinks there cool but really they are to help things along....

As Corky said above, I think nature does this. I have been using the T cream for a couple years now and in tiny amounts. It really helps with energy and helps my "mind" to multi task things with much more clarity. It may help some with libido because it helps you to have energy and focus. But to feel DESIRE....that's something that it doesn't really do for me, wish it did.

Sometimes to even begin to feel something I need to put on sexy things and get myself in the mood. Even if it's just a mental mood it's better than nothing.

I wish I had a real answer, but for now this is all that I have come up with.

Hugs, Juliann

thanks for responding Juliann... yes, it's now i am feeling that age gap for the first time really.. i've done that you know, i pulled out all the stops i have left to me, and it didn't work for him. i think i've broken him! it doesn't seem to work for him when it doesn't work for me too.. the future looks a little grim to me..

Zen,

I don't think you should give up on the T as a possibility. Just because it hasn't worked for some women, doesn't mean it hasn't worked for others! I am going to give it a try. I am hopeful!! And have you tried any estriol cream in your nether regions? I know you aren't a fan of the hormones, but it is a very weak estrogen, but can really help that "area" plump back up and start working again. I would give both a try, some estriol cream and some T. Better that than having your marriage end!!

I can feel the pain in your posts, Zen, and I am very saddened by it. I remember how happy you used to be with your sexy young husband. Don't give in to despair just yet!!!! Not all the doors are closed! And also keep in mind that your mental state is going to have a HUGE impact on your sexual response. If you are feeling sad and depressed, you are not going to feel sexual at all.

It isn't all over, unless you want it to be! Hang in there, and try some of these things, you may be pleasantly surprised!

BIG HUGS

Still in peri but supplementing with estradial. I'm single and dating so I can feel your pain and dispair over the pressure of a younger man. Sex has gone from a crazy Passion driven activity to a Fun athletic activity. Those naturally ocurring hormones that "drove" me from within are gone/or not in proper amounts now. No amount of thinking, dressing up, relaxing, loving/tenderness, or at other end of range - "freaky stuff" can change this. Sure, we both end up all hot and "lathered up/sweaty" but it's sometimes like running a marathon instead of the old - OMG - YESSSSSSSSSSSSS, don't stop...... (ya know what I mean.)

Due to being single I can separate out what is happening now from the normal of past. I am not in a long term marriage like alot of women where sometimes the longterm relationship dynamics come into play. I remember when I first divorced, in my early 30's, being told things by men I started dating. They were in their 40's/50 ish, and would say, "my ex just wasn't the same girl I married. She just goes thru the motions, no passion. Or, it seems like she's just not into it anymore." Boy, back then I used to think the world was full of frigid women!!! Now, I know better and that this is due to hormonal loss.

My friends that have "regained" some type of sexual response and/or libido in post meno have admitted that they weren't all that interested to begin with!! Not my situation and this changes/loss is devastating. The best advice I will give to you is this: Communicate honestly with your husband that this is a change in relation to your hormonal status and NOT him or the relationship. And, that you both will work on continuing this vital part of your relationshop and sexuality. It truly ***** that men don't experience the changes that we do! I just told a new date last night that I was experience some less than satisfactory mid life changes due to a rapid peri. (Kept it vague at this point in time.) Anyway, we do have some type of "chemistry" but I feel like I'm all dressed up with no where to go..... Yes, the vaginal E cream keeps everything down there lubricated and strong, helps with blood flow to the clitoris. But the sensitive down there is greatly diminished. I enjoy flirthing but the "hormonal drive" to bring things to fruition is gone. I too am discouraged about what I read about testosterone. Feel free to PM me. I do understand. JZZ

frigid women! yes.. i can remember those sort of comments as well.. life just isn't fair at times is it? and yes, thank you, we have talked.. i have talked at times over the past few years when he wasn't ready to listen, and altho i think i have finally got it through to him, i think he still feels if he could just 'press the right button' it would work for me again.. but i just get to feeling old, and maybe you are right Floater, maybe i am depressed about it all, and that is having it's own impact as well. i have a doc appointment next week, and will talk to her about it all once more.. she is very against all forms of hormone treatment, as two of her patients ended up with breast cancer after demanding HRT - you can imagine... but i like her as a doc, i trust her, which is rare for me, so i will ask for her thoughts on the testosterone patch that is available.. but even if i can get some of that old feeling back again, the skin is thin, and not resilient, and tends to break fairly easily despite all the creams and lotions we try.. pap tests come with that price as well, my doc was surprised and sorry when she broke the skin during that appointment!

thank you... really helps being able to let some of it out, especially to those who can understand only too well.

Geez, the male ego never fails to amaze me. They seem to like thinking they are in "control" of our sexual resonse. sheesh Anyway, hope the doctor visit works out for you. Also, consider getting a 2nd opionion even though you like your doctor. Not one person in life holds all the answers.
But, I do have some final thoughts/questions: How can she be against hrt based on only 2 poor outcomes? These women might have gotten cancer whether or not they used hrt. Also, everyone publicizes how breast cancer is estrogen dependent? But, many are also progesterone driven cancer too. Or, perhaps it's the loss of hormones that causes so many to develop breast cancer during this time? Women not taking hrt also get cancer. Seems that doesn't generate the publicity that hrt can. Also, Are you referring to the Intrisa testosterone patch? It was pulled from the market here in the US - not sure why. Also, supplementing T or an AD may or may not be helpful. No matter what route you choose it involves trial and error and alot of patience. All very difficult when not feeling well and life is in limbo. Please take care of yourself, JZZ

[/quote]"i was reading about testosterone, but looks like it doesn't work either from what i have been reading. there's nothing i can see about what long term usage might do either.."

I would just like to add some encouragement to everyone about Testosterone.
I had a fantastic sex drive within my marriage-it is now 38 years-until I had my surgery for uterine cancer three years ago.
Within a year of having all my parts removed including my ovaries not only did I lose my sex drive I also went completely physically numb in nipples and the obvious important place
I was told at one of my check ups when I asked about it that there was no guarantee I would have an orgasm ever again. They offered me no solution. I was devastated as sex had always been so important to both of us in our marriage. I was not allowed HRT at that time but I did lots of research and asked my doc if she would give me some testosterone.

I was so delighted when I was able to have an orgasm very quickly after using the T- I can't tell you! No I didn't and don't have that special desire feeling I used to have when I was younger and probably ovulating. But that's not the point. I don't have that feeling and I don't think any woman past meno does because we are-lets face it not fertile any more so there is no requirement for our bodies to get that strong urge. It is very sad and hard to come to terms with but if you can get past that and just go ahead and get started then all the feelings are still there. Well they are for me anyway!
What is lacking in the initial desire front is more than made up for in the intensity of sensation-far stronger now than when I was a young woman- with testosterone on board.
So I would suggest-try the testosterone and then "use it or lose it". You will have all the sensations there once you start but it is not possible to get the real desire feelings back the way they were. It takes some coming to terms with but it can be done. I try not to hanker after that feeling any more. I am just delighted I am still able to have an intimate loving time when at one point I thought I would never feel anything ever again!
I have just been given the all clear from my cancer and have started on low dose estrogen. So I am hoping that maybe it will help even more!

Good luck to everyone. It is a different phase in our lives but we can adapt and still have intimacy

janet c

Janet, thanks for the nice post and sorry about your cancer troubles. Absolutely on target about the use it or lose it - especially inorder to help facilitate blood flow to the "girley parts". I'm supplementing with E patch and Estrace estradiol vaginal cream. How have you managed to remain "comfortable" down there inorder to "use it". Did the T help with vag dryness or it wasn't a problem for you? Just curious cause some post about having that problem and otc products don't replace the missing E. Oh, and congrats on getting the script for a low dose E. Remember, take it slow. oxoxo JZZ

Could you tell me where you got this information, please?

Thanks

my doctor is taking into account the results of research into the causes of breast cancer, and the effects of HRT as well.. and yes.. you are right, breast cancer may have come to those poor women regardless of HRT.. but i didn't mention the high incidence of various cancers on both sides of my family, on my father's side there have been very few females with all their parts intact after 55.. i feel like i have too high a risk already, this is why i have not gone for HRT in the past..



too high a risk of heart disease and stroke - i have just read that on another site. so that's out, even if it is still available here..


as for use it or lose it... sigh... i think it's too late.. :) i've lost it.

I'm glad to finally see a thread about this topic but I have to say my situation is quite the opposite. After many years of not really caring one way or the other about sex I suddenly became quite interested. There's obviously a hormonal factor involved but what it is I have no idea. All my hormone levels are at post menopausal levels at this point but I'm as interested in sex as I was 30 years ago. My poor husband is totally confused and asks occasionally what has gotten into me. I just tell him I have no clue but I suspect it's hormonal...just enjoy it while it lasts. Unfortunately, we are both mid 50's and he's started having his own little problems...so at first it was difficult for him to "keep up" with me if you get my drift. But success was but a prescription away and now all is good for both of us! I don't know how long this will last but I'm going to enjoy it while it does. I hope it turns around for you ladies too. I've been where you are and it's not fun to say the least. I wish I could tell you how to fix it but I haven't a clue. I'm not on any HRT at all and just started missing periods, if that tells you anything at all.

Jan-great for you and as you say-enjoy it while it lasts! I must just chime in here with another bit of hope. A friend of mine who is 67 gave up sex in her early 50s. In the past two years she has suddenly become really interested again and the only thing she is using is a little estriol cream for dryness.
So there is hope for everyone


JZZ-I was given estriol cream to help with dryness but I couldn't tolerate it as it went systemic for me and made me feel really ill. I couldn't stop weeping and had anxiety and depression thru the roof. However if you don't have that effect it definitely increases sensation and interest considerably. I wish I could use it now! I recommend giving it a try.
I think the testosterone has helped a bit but I find that Replens and regular intercourse keeps things comfortable. It doesnt plump up the tissues like hormones do though
janet c

Same here! I'm probably on the home stretch to menopause having had only 2 periods in the last 10 months. My FSH was at 47 in January. My libido has been at rock bottom for several years. About 2 month's ago, my hubby was really letting me have it about our lack of sex. (he even said that if he could, he would have sex every day!) It ticked me off to the point of I'll show him...a challenge, I love challenges! So, even though I wasn't in the mood, I hit him up for sex a few days in a row. Now the weird part, my sex drive came back- full force! I've been the instigator on the most part, and we are doing it about 4 times per week, a lot for us! I'm fantasizing about sex, having dreams about it, and feel much more sensation in the va-jay-jay. The ironic part of all this, is that now that he has the option of anytime sex, he would no way want it every day, and jokingly avoids me at bed time. I'm not on HRT, and the only difference in what I'm doing is that in February, i started taking: magnesium, calcium, iron, vitamins: B6, B12, and D-3. I'm scared that it will disappear again. Like you, my husband is quite confused, and I've told him to enjoy it while it lasts!

I've been wondering if the act of sex, (um, the semen) has hormones in it that are absorbed by the woman and it affects her hormone levels? Is this a stupid thought/question! It goes along with the "use it or lose it" idea-?

One more thing, I tried testosterone cream a couple years ago while I was still having regular periods, and I loved it! I had much more sensation everywhere, more fantasies, and stronger orgasms, but I didn't seek out sex from hubby anymore than usual. However, I was only on it about 4 months. I quit using it due to the cost. Anyway, my T level tested at 40 in January, so, my doctor said that I don't need it.

Hang in there ladies, I believe there is hope for us all! (just do it more, and see what happens!)

jem (50)

Does the estraiol cream have to be specially made for the vagina? I have a compound estriol and estradiol cream. And I have one with testosterone in it. Can i use those down there? Can you only use the estriol?

I'll try anything. Can I use my compounded estriol/estradiol and T cream down there? I've been putting behind my knees.

I was prescribed the estriol cream specifically for vaginal use. I thought the compounded creams with T and E were specifically made for that area? However- you need to try a little in that area first to be sure its not too strong

Morning ladies, before I forget......an early Happy Mothers Day to all.

Thanks for all the information being shared here. Great thread.

EvePrimrose, I was given that info from several sources. ie - my own breast surgeon and 2 breast cancer survivors (friends). Just spoke to my surgeon's nurse to double check something. She said they can test breast tumor/tissue for 3 things. Test is for positive response to estrogen, progesterone or something called HER2. One of my friends had all three (which she said is pretty rare ocurrence.)

Janet C, I'm glad you're doing so well. And yes, I'm approaching things with the "use it or lose it approach". But, I am still very interested - so that's not the problem. It's the missing of those naturally occuring "sexually" driven urges vs. the current state of things. My own hormonal dive into meno was rapid and severe (due to being given the wrong medicine in the hospital). I was thrown into a sudden chemical induced meno AND NO ONE WOULD INITIALLY BELIEVE it!! Anyway, my ovaries were restarted 8 months later by the prometrium. (Initial medical mishap had interupted the pituatary, adrenal, ovarian feedback loop.) Although, my ovaries have restarted nothing is the same anymore. I have been fast forwarded into this peri meno journey. I did not have years to adjust. It was all sudden and abrupt. I know what I've lost in many aspects of my physiology. I do appreciate your advice. But I miss "feeling" sexual. I miss "walking the walk". And, I agree that the female drive is probably tied into evolution and our fertility. I will just have to enjoy that sex is no longer painful (by using the estrace estradiol vjj cream), and keep things in a positive attitude.

Zen, I am so very very sorry about your female relatives. Asessing ones risk factors is certainly a huge part of deciding what to do in regard to all of this. Guess I was just confused and thought he had only told you about the 2 patients. Glad that he's doing research into hormones. Unfortuanately so many don't. Hope you can figure out something inorder to feel more comfortable and alleviate some symptoms. I am privately very devastated by the sexual changes. I'm divorced, dating and it makes things even more difficult. I did notice that when I have more frequent sex it did help things in the "girliey parts". But, I'm on the e vjj creme. I know you're not but I was without any hormones, had a rapid decline, for 8 months. I too had intolerable pain, dryness etc. I tried the standard otc stuff, ie - astroglide, ky but they weren't very helpful. Maybe try those long lasting ones, or vit e. Some women have posted about those. No easy answers for any of this. I wish you comfort and good health as we move forward in life.

Regards to all, JZZ

Thanks JZZ - I will PM you later if that's okay - I'd like to ask a few questions and to also show you what I found.

Thanks again for taking the time to get back to me on this

Hi there....I hate to chime in on this thread. I seem like I am the poster-girl for bio-identical hormones. I hesitate to post because I don't want everyone to hate me. LOL!

The Testosterone made a big difference for me. It is so hard when you see you sisters struggle.

I do know that when you don't feel sexy, it is hard to have much interest. One thing that helps is to buy some new sexy things to wear to bed. For women, sex starts in the head, not in the bed. Even if you feel stupid, it is amazing what sexy clothes can do for a man. ...and when they look at you with that "look," it makes you feel great.

If we lost our hubbies, many of us would do a "make over." Within a few weeks, we would be thinner, we would buy new clothes, and etc. ( I think that our bodies would even start making its own E, P, and T. LOL!)

I wonder what would happen if we treated our hubbies as boyfriends instead of the life-long familiar, boring mates.

I bet that we would have more fun?



I think that we forgot that we are women and they are men. ?????



My sister is going through this right now. It is so hard for her.


I think that sex is one of the few real pleasures in life, and when it is missing, it is very difficult.

The chirpy bio poster child...
Ok....now you can beat me up! LOL!

Hey, chirpy bio poster child...Sheebee,

I'm single, in peri and supplementing with Estradiol while still have my own ovarian produced periods. I STILL have the interest just not whatever level of hormones that used to make me feel sexy. Maybe the changes in brain chemistry with the drop off/fluctuation of hormones is part of why "it starts in the head". Believe me I bring out all my "tricks" (thoughts, clothing, ummmmm, "acessories" etc.....I will stop now...don't want to embarrass anyone And, it's just not the same......less sensitivity, blips of something that resembles the O, (if I even get that) and etc....I will stop now.....lol

Trust me being single only makes this issue much worse imo. I still look great (sorry, not being self serving) and this makes it even more difficult in the dating scene. No real "phermones" hover in my aura anymore. I really feel that the "chemistry" we all have hopefully experienced when meeting our SO initially is now MIA. Trust me, I've tested this out with new dates that I've been attracted to and had great fun. No sexual chemistry/"phermones"..... Wish I could just convince myself that it's meeting the "wrong" people but it's not. I watched my sexual response change drastically while in a fairly longterm relationship with my then SO when slammed into peri meno h*ll.

I totally agree that sex is a great pleasure but it is not "missing" in my life. It's my own hormonal profile that is MIA! At least when I was prepubscent I didn't like boys or have sexual feelings. Then YAHOO puberty hit (still didn't know why I was now looking at boys in a new way) giggle Now, I'm in some type of sexual limbo that may or may not be permanent. Except now I still remember how much fun sex was.

On a more positive note: CHIRP right back at ya. We'll be co-captains of this bio ht club. I'm loving my estradiol, especially the vjj cream (but not getting great absorbtion from my patch), no more horrid P while having my own periods (will figure that out when needed). And, will be (maybe) pressing my docs for some T. But, they both only do the standard Fda T that is for men (too strong in my opinion even at baby doses) and I already have some hair issues. Will have to either go to yet another doctor who can do the compounded T cream Or buy it abroad. Going to europe soon. Any ideas are appreciated in regard to what's in use in Italy or Spain for T.? Or, I may just have to wait until my ovaries quit for the final time.

I am NOT going to beat you up! I am very happy that your body is responding so well. You give an example of what has worked for you and offer some degree of HOPE for me.
Best Wishes, JZZ

"The chirpy bio poster child...
Ok....now you can beat me up! LOL!"


Don't want to beat you up Shebee but you are in peri-right? Still having monthly cycles?
It is a very different thing to be post. I remember having some VERY hot times during peri when I felt like doing nothing else but have sex all day long. Other ladies who are in peri have said the same thing.
Once you are post then things cannot possibly be the same because you are not cycling ovulating etc.
I promise you-I was very "hot" at times before during peri. Now sex is a completely different thing which is something no amount of dressing up or flirting would change.
As I said earlier in the thread it just can't happen any more even with adequate testosterone on board. It is still good but not in the full on passionate way it was in the past. I adore my husband and always went weak at the knees just looking at him. Well that doesn't happen any more although I still love him dearly.
As I have already said I have tried to accept that feeling won't happen any more although I hope I am wrong!
Anyone out there who still gets that special feeling even tho they are post? If so I would love some reassurance !
janet c

I'm still in Peri. Just shows you, once again, how we're all so very different. Regards, JZZ

Interesting...I think I'll have to agree with the "use it or lose it" idea as well although the urges came first for me. It was almost like someone flicked a switch for me. One day I wasn't the slightest bit interested and the next I was a sex crazed woman on the lose. LOL!!! Mind you, I'm not complaining, but it IS sort of wierd. I've got sex on the brain these days and can hardly wait to get home from work some nights. Unfortunatly, my husband travels quite a lot in his job so he's not always around so by the time he gets home I'm about crawling the walls. It just seems like the more sex we have, the more I want and all I have to do is think about it and I'm well on my way to being "ready to roll" so to speak. Very strange indeed!

I did note what you said about the only thing you are doing differently is taking vitamins, etc. Interestingly, I started taking a multi vit. and Vit. D3 back in February like you and my drive seems to get stronger all the time. My t level is "only" 24 so I'm not sure if that is what's doing it or something else.

However, there does appear to be a minor problem beginning to take shape. I might be starting to have a problem with vag. dryness but I'm not sure. During sex, everything is fine but afterwards sometimes I'm sore inside. It burns and feels raw. I guess I'll be asking my NP for something to help out with that next time I talk to her. Good luck to everyone...I hope it gets better for you all.

how true that is... seems some of what i am reading here would have been applicable a few years ago.. i remember the 'hot' times! lol.. do i ever.. i think i wore him out at one stage with my own needs.. i feel sorry for our men at times, with our hot and cold times, they must really get confused!

Hi Everyone,

As I am reading all your posts, I'm agreeing with everything! I think that the sexual response sensation began to fade a year ago or so. Just about when I was missing several months of periods. So I think that peri can still have lots of great lidido times and then it can diminish, sadly.

I must say that during "peri" I had the highest highs (sexually), and the lowest lows! It was "weird", either I was burning scented candles and giving him the "come to me" look, or else I had a stack of "books" on my night stand and couldn't stand the thought of being touched, I just wanted to be alone.

Now I feel trapped, my mind may say yes, but my response is out to lunch. I do fully agree that nice and sexy things are "wonderful" and make me feel very sexy. But like most everyone on this thread I mourn the loss of that "feeling" and how hard it is to accept it. I think Janet is right, that it is gone, but we have to approach it in light of that, keep making the best of it and love our mate in a new and different way.

It's funny, I have never thought myself old until this last year. I still look fairly good, I dress trendy, tan, slim, and wear all kinds of sexy things for hubby. But I feel like the "electric circut" has been tappered off in that area. I kept wondering why? Now it makes sense, we are no longer ovulating and that shuts down the strong sensations?? Is that it?? If so, then we are in deep doo doo, it will probably not ever return to what it was! I'm am sad........

I take supplements, but I have not tried the D3, wondering if that is something worth taking, I hear alot of talk about it. Well, I do think this is a great thread and will be very helpful to others as they hit this spot, it's a hard one to accept.

Hugs to all, Juliann

Jem (50), Hi! I tried posting you a comment but it looks like the space is limited and I thought I would just post my question here to you as well since it's more space. I read the different vitamins you are taking now and I've been doing nothing but researching and trying different vitamins to try to help restore any nutrients that have been depleted from my body and help me in the sexual department because I have loss a lot of feeling and a lot seems to have just changed period down there which is so frustrating. I feel like I'm perimenopausal now after reading the symptoms. I've made an appointment to see a gyno to discuss this. I ask if you don't mind if you could please provide if you can the brand and dosage of each vitamin you are taking.

Thank you!
Adrianne

Hi, Adrianne,
I don't mind in the least bit listing my supplements for you. Thanks for asking! Who knows if that is what has helped with my sex drive. It's anyone's guess! Here goes:

2 Citracal tablets per day (calcium citrate: 500mg, B6: 10mg, D: 250 iu, magnesium: 80mg, zinc: 10mg, copper, manganese and boron: 1mg

2 - Nature Made - Magnesium, 250mg per day

1 - Spring Valley - B6, 100 per day (doctor requested this due to suspected carpal tunnel -which is now gone)

1 - Drug Mart brand - D3, 1000 iu (doctor requested this due to below normal level per blood test)

1 - Spring Valley, B12, 250 mcg

a few days per week: Iron, 65 mg (Spring Valley brand)

I eat a balanced diet for the most part, so, I only take a multi-vitamin once in a while. (when i think of it!)

Good luck with your doctor appointment!

jem

This is really an interesting post. I started taking bios and also D-3. The more that I research D-3, the more convinced
I become that everyone needs it. It even has anti-viral properties.




WARNING...DO NOT LET ANY MAN GET a hold OF THIS INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!
They will use it against us! Meno-warriors unite!



As for semen containing hormones...it does. I read a research that State University of New York, sex researchers
tested samples of human semen, they found luteinizing hormone and follicle-stimulating hormone, both of which can induce a woman to release eggs earlier than normal. YIKES! Just what we need at our age...more babies! LOL!


Does Semen makes you happy? I read another study that said researchers think there are mood-altering hormones in semen which are absorbed through the vagina.

Come to find out Semen does contain several mood-altering hormones. They are testosterone, oestrogen, follicle-stimulating hormone, luteinising hormone, prolactin and several different prostaglandins. (Women that had been on oestrogen replacement therapy after menopause had a lower risk for Alzheimer's than women who were not.)


Some of these have been detected in a women's blood within hours of exposure to semen.

Other studies suggest that Semen acts as an anti-depressant.

Hmmmmmmmmmm....I guess all depressed women should have unprotected sex. LOL!
...and we should keep having sex so we don't get Alzheimer's! LOL!

There are a lot of reasons for lack of sexual desire besides our declining hormones. Medical issues, low thyroid, medicines, exhaustion, poor sexual technique, boredom, lack of respect for one's partner, and etc. & etc.
I guess it is up to us for figure this all out.

Also, I think that sex is more than just the big O.

There does not seem to be a quick and easy solution to maintaining sexual desire and sexual intimacy in a relationship, however, I noticed that the Testosterone has really helped. O went from a pleasant 3 to a rocking 10.

I have also noticed that desire does seem to go back and forth. (LOL! did I just say that?)
I just hope I never lose the desire, because this would make me sad. (Ah...the cure...look at the studies. LOL!)

Really, this menopause thing is just not much fun!

Shebee

You aren't doing anything wrong. I am having the same problem--also on Synthroid, but don't think that's the problem since I was taking it long before menopause. This is gonna sound a little crazy, but maybe you are going about "fixing" the problem the wrong way. Maybe you just need to relax--read a good, sexy romance novel, have the hubby give you a nice long full body rub and see where that takes you. Just a thought, really, because sometimes these type of issues are more mental than physical. I wish you the best.

Shebee:
Thanks for posting about your semen research! (never thought I would say that to someone in my life time!) I admit that I have read up on it also. Here is an ingredient list that I found:

" The primary putative mind-altering ingredients in semen:

Luteinizing hormone: astounding concentration in semen; linked to high sperm count and motility. Absorption into female bloodstream may facilitate or even induce ovulation.

Prolactin: influences maternal behavior, oxytocin secretion; mediates bonding

Estrone and estradiol: assists in recipient’s absorption of other compounds such as progesterone; may boost woman’s sexual motivation and mood

Testosterone: may increase sex drive and motivation; the more intercourse, the higher the testosterone levels in women, and the stronger the sexual desire. More than half the amount of testosterone in sperm has been found to be absorbed by the vagina.

Cytokines: these are the “warriors,” they suppress immune reaction to semen invading the vagina and cervix and therefore increase likelihood of pregnancy

Enkephalins: these opioids may contribute to orgasmic experience. They may decrease anxiety and cause drowsiness after sex. There’s also speculation that they assist in immune function and “reinforcing effects” — making a woman come back for more, i.e. addiction (although the absorption rate in female bloodstream is unknown)

Oxytocin: assists in stimulation of ovulation, increases production of other hormones, initiates bonding, facilitates orgasmic contractions; may strengthen bonding and make sexual activity more rewarding

Placental proteins, including human chorionic gonadotrophin (hcg) and human placental lactogen: associated with sperm motility; may increase chances of pregnancy

Relaxin: made in the prostate, this hormone may facilitate fertilization, implantation, and uterine growth. The role of relaxin suggests that women should keep having a lot of sex during pregnancy because sperm has pregnancy-maintaining properties. Relaxin also facilitates implantation and prevents preterm labor.

Thyrotropin-releasing hormones: potential anti-depressive; works by stimulating the release of thyroid-stimulating hormone, which in turn triggers hormone production in the mood-mediating thyroid gland. In pill form, it’s used to treat PMS and depression.

Serotonin: increases sperm motility. It also mediates mood, although not much known yet about vaginal absorption. Even if it doesn’t make it to the brain, it may indirectly alter behavior and emotions by contributing the building blocks of serotonin

Melatonin: increases effects of steroid hormones; induces sleepiness and fatigue, which may help the woman relax after sex; may stimulate reproductive function, also mood mediator; low melatonin levels are associated with depression and “reality disturbance”

Tyrosine: a precursor of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, the hormone of reward and addiction, and norepinephrine, involved in attention and arousal

Oh, and there’s also sperm in there, the DNA-bearing courier. Sperm is less than 3 percent the total volume of semen. But as it turns out, the bath water is nearly as important as the baby."


I've noticed all through married life that the more I have sex, the more I want it. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the results are a happy husband. It's funny to witness his mood change after sex. So transparent! (don't tell him I said that)

Jan677:
That's the way it was with me--like a light switch went off. My husband doesn't know what to make of my oh-baby looks, sexual comments, and touching. Poor guy!
About the soreness, maybe you should try using vitamin E suppositories. They have been mentioned on this board quite often.

Cheers!
jem

Thanks Pikie:

Well here's the even weirder part of my situation. I used to love to read sexy writing in the novels, etc. now I jump over those passages as I find them boring and I want to keep moving into the story. I was never like that either. And I fast forward over the romantic scenes on any rented videos too.

Sounds like good stuff. I think we should all go get some!!! LOL

Oh, yeah and the Vit. E too! ; )
Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Shebee:
Thanks for posting about your semen research! (never thought I would say that to someone in my life time!) I admit that I have read up on it also.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am laughing so hard! (I keep making word blunders.)
I gotta stop thinking about this subject.



Anyway, you are most welcome. LOL!

Thank you for posting the "ingredient" list. That was equally informative and interesting..


But do you not feel bad?

Have we no shame?

Any women reading our post will now DEMAND that their men do their "duty."


I am afraid that we might have started a hormonal riot!


We'd better lay low...(not again!)... and change our names for a while.

Your,
ShhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeBee

Quote-corky
"Well here's the even weirder part of my situation. I used to love to read sexy writing in the novels, etc. now I jump over those passages as I find them boring and I want to keep moving into the story. I was never like that either. And I fast forward over the romantic scenes on any rented videos too."

Have to totally agree with you Corky! I used to get really turned on by all that stuff and actually I miss the fantasising more than anything else.

Sheebe your thing about semen holds true completely!
I have always found even when I am not "in the mood" I always feel cheered up after sex and I have always said I swear there is a mood enhancer in semen-so apparently its true!

I miss the ache of desire that seemed to go through my whole body. Oh-where has it gone? I was a mass of loving hormones and now sex is sooo much more mechanical (more like how a man feels I would guess?)

This is self torture

janet c

Shebee, you crack me up!!! LOL

I was discussing semenology with my hubby.

He said that Men were a Walking Bio Pharmacy and that you had better grab the closest man near you!


Oh yea, and he said be careful not to go generic!

Get the real thing...

LOLOL You (and your husband) are too much!!! Semenology...that's definately something they left out of nursing school! Oh, and you can tell him for me, I NEVER go generic..always go for the good stuff. LOL If my kids are any indication of the "quality" I've been exposed to over the past 33 years, it's pretty darned good quality. Ok, now we really ARE going to get in trouble...better think about something else for awhile. : )

Nothing quite like knowing the science behind how we are feeling. Well done ladies.

Jem Thank you so much!!!! I would have thanked you sooner but I'm just able to log back on this site. I really appreciate you taking the time to provide in detail of the vitamins you are taking. It may be all I need, which is to find the right vitamin to give me that boost I need. I hope I'll be able to figure it out soon and hopefully the doctor I'm going to see will be of help. I wasn't able to get an appointment until July, but in the meantime I'm doing all the researching I can.

Again Thank you!!!!!!