Hello e-Friends,

Of all of the ways my anxiety manifests itself now that I'm basking in the glory of perimenopause, the fear of being alone is in some ways the most debilitating--as a single woman. (OK. The hypochondriasis is no fun, either. Cost me a lot of $ seeing 400 doctors last year.)

Does anyone else experience this? I see mostly stuff about agoraphobia. I have the opposite problem.

Anyone else? And stories on how you deal with it?

I used to love having my own place. Now I just want people around all the time!

Sukie

Hi, I am a single woman and a single mom and I know what you mean about hating being alone now. I used to love being alone. Before my son was born, I lived alone and I loved it. I would go out with friends, go home to my nice quiet place and go to bed, no problem whatsoever. Now, it has turned around totally. I hate being alone since turning 40. I am afraid something will happen to me and no one will be there to help (worse with having a young child around), and I am always thinking someone might be breaking in the house in the wee hours and am always hearing noises and wondering if someone is in fact breaking in, it is terrible. It seems most of the women on here are married, so I guess we are in the minority here.

I hate being alone. Even though I am married my husband is in the military and I was alone for a year while he was deployed and I know no one around me. I then became afraid of being alone thinking what would happen to my kids if something happened to me, break ins, getting sick, u name it. It actually made my honesty worse. Even though he is back now he is always working and we have only one car which he takes so I still feel alone.




meant to say it made my anxiety worse, not honesty worse.

I'm divorced, for many years, and always liked my independence. Only now have fears about being alone in the later years. And, recently had to depend on friends to drive me when peri caused dizziness and I couldn't drive for 8 months. Jzz

Thanks for the replies, ladies.

I wonder if anyone out there experienced this and then reverted back to being their old independent self (with time)?

Your not alone. my hubby is on the railroad and gone for 2 days at a time and im left alone.. I am so scared that something is going to happen to me and i dont have any family here so theres not much i can do. I get the dizziness and shakes and just plain scared. I dont have anyone to drive me around so i wait for him to come back.
Im praying for you too and i hope we both get some relief from this...hugs and god bless you...hang in there with me.

Hi Sukie,

We were just posting on another discussion on the very same subject. It's under "How Menopause Affected My Life" and the subject is "Can't Stand Being Alone".

It's a very common problem during menopause and I've experience it many times. I think it's the fear of not knowing what's going on in your body that makes you feel very vunerable. I felt like I had to have my husband with me all the time.

I'm happy to say that since I'm 4 years post now I'm totally back to normal. In fact, I'm actually more confident that I was before. I would say that I have more courage than I used to and not afraid to take on new challenges. I think that once you survive this journey, you feel you can handle alot more. I hope that will be the same with all of you.

Best wishes,
DianaJJ

Well I am so glad to see it is not just me!! I too loved my time alone......and then wham.....40 and clingy as all get out. Ridiculous especially given that I go off at hubby and announce I want some "me time" and when I get it I am like a panicky 5 year old in the dark! Stupid. Have not had one complete day alone since the panic attacks hit me 4 years back. This past month my husband had to travel across Canada.....but I thought....that's okay...I have my son here. Nooooo. He had to travel away with the Army Reserves. I was trapped. I almost had a complete meltdown when I realized I was totally alone for over a week. I invented reasons to get my older children to visit just so I could have a SHOWER cause you know.....you will definitely get dizzy, fall down and oh my God....who knows what may have happened! Oh the power of the perimind. It is a mystery that I wish someone would soon figure out.