Dear Ladies,

I'm new to posting here, though I've been reading these boards for the past two months after slowly realizing that I am entering into the perimenopausal stage of life - otherwise known as waking HELL.

After tracking my symptoms for the last 4 months, Ive noticed, as Ive read that many of you do too, a horrid pattern of symptoms namely - abject TERROR, PANIC, INSANE thoughts-feelings, HYSTERIA, complete disassociation from myself and from my surroundings, living in a nightmarish state where surviving is minute to minute for the 7 days preceeding my period, with peak intensity of these feelings hitting on the 3 or 4th day into my period. While, like many of the other women here who have also experiened anxiety in their past and have had issues with it earlier in life, never have I felt such unbearable, almost psychosis-like feelings as I have been experiencing since the months following my 40th birthday.

Since there are so many different viewpoints and speculations surrounding estrogen and progesterone's effects on the brain, neurotransmitters, and serotonin levels, can anyone explain or help me to understand what is exactly happening during this time of my cycle to bring on such madness? I am so baffled.

I also want to mention that these episodes of mounting, unexplained panic began in December of 2008..at the time I didnt know what was happening but I assumed it had a hormonal connection because I skipped a period in November and an almost non-existant one in Dec.

So, I tried some natural progesterone cream from a health food store right after New years. The entire month of January I never experienced anxiety, panic, insane thoughts, or especially the dissassociation feeling at all - but was thrown into a black unexplainable depression that lasted until I made the connection to the cream and stopped using it.

Like clockwork in February, the anxiety came back with a vengenage and added with it a few days of complete depersonalization/derealiztion - which if you never experienced before like I hadnt would be enough to admit yourself into a Psyche ward. Thank God I was strong enough to hold on and kept telling myself that this was not me, that something was wrong.

The pattern repeated itself with increasing intensity of these feelings in March, culminating in April.

Can anyone please explain what is happening during this time of the month that makes me suffer so horribly?

I have also noticed that trying black cohosh reduced my flushing and hot flashes, but it seemed to make the anxiety reach levels that were beyond tolerance.

Is there a connection there too? Does any of this end? Please give me some hope as I cannot do this for much longer. This last time tested my sanity and I am still not fully recovered from it. I cant imagine dealing with next month.

Please help....I am trying so hard to solve this mystery so I can salvage any part of my life.

Thank you so much....my heart and prayers are with you all,

Dee

Hi there...it is probably both. In peri-menopause, you hormones swing back and forth.

A few years ago I tried progesterone only. I had horrible results.


You need to get blood/saliva tested to see what your hormones are doing. As we age, our hormones decline.

I am in peri and take Estrogen in the form of Estriol and Estradiol, Progesterone, DHEA, Pregnenolone, and Testosterone. I feel in balance, now. I am doing the bio-identical hormones. After reading a lot of studies, I believe they are safer than regular HRT options. What a hormonal cocktail, eh? ....I still can't believe I take all of this; I hate even taking an aspirin! LOL!

Shebee

Hi Shebee,

Thank you for answering. You have been so helpful to me in trying to understand what is happening.

Yesterday was the worst day of my life. Not to get into too much detail, because I basically cant mentally relive any of it. I had a series of unending panic where the world became a blurred nightmare and I couldnt come out of it. It was the first day of my period and its been happening like this for the last 2 months now. I am not sure, but I swear that it might have had something to do with the black cohosh I was taking last month. I never experienced anything like what happened to me yesterday, and Ive experienced some pretty horrible stuff.

I found it so interesting that all of the mind symptoms seemed to go away when I used the natural progesterone cream, but since it was just trial and error and I wasnt sure of what I was doing at the time, I think I used too much and entered into a clinical depression....I know many women here have bad results using progesterone. But I think it might work for me if I had the right dosage and knew when to use it during my cycle.

This is all so confusing. I am going to a doctor who specializes in perimenopause and bio HRT on Tuesday. I am going to beg to have every hormone test done in the book.

Deep in my heart i know this is a hormonal issue. I have had Lyme disease, candida infections, allergies, general anxiety issues, etc. but this is DIFFERENT. I feel it, my body feels it. This is indescribable to someone who isnt going through it.

I am praying that I find some answers. Thank God for all of you. I wish the reason for this board didnt exist. It breaks my heart to hear so many women crying out in such pain over what they are going through. But I thank God that it does exist to keep us holding on and holding each other up.

God bless you all and bring everyone peace,
Dee

Dee,

After starting on bios, I could handle stress again. I had a feeling of well-being, and I felt real joy, again.

Even when big problems cropped up, it was no big deal.
Before I would lay awake in bed, night after night, being bombarded with problems. I used to keep a pencil and pad on my night stand. When something would hit me, I would write it down.

I started a policy, "No Problems at Night." This really helped me to cope and to get much needed sleep. Since my short term memory was shot, I was always afraid that I would forget. Writing it down helped.


It is very hard to shut your mind down. There is some perverse pleasure in thinking. LOL!



Another coping technique I used is starting with my feet, I would say...my feet are relaxed...my feet are asleep...and then proceed to the next body part. If I got to my head, I would start all over again. I think that my mind got so bored that I would just fall asleep.

For every negative thought, I would think two positive thoughts. It is really hard to do this, but before bios, I had to develop these type of things. Find some mind games that will help you through this time.

Best wishes...can't wait to see how you change on bios!
Shebee

Hi again and thank you for the support and hope!

The fact that you actually found joy on bios makes my heart soar. I want to believe there is hope, but its so hard when you feel like you have been run over by a truck and are trying to scrape yourself from the dust.

One of the most terrible things that has happened to me is the crushing anxiety, depression, and feeling of dissassociation. This hit me right after I noticed a real change in my cycle and started having hot flashes and other peri symptoms.

Have the bios helped any of those symptoms for you? I cant wait to start either and will definitely let you know how I am doing.

Hugs....

Dee

Hi Dee,

I can tell you that before I started on HT (bio estradiol and progesterone), anxiety was my most unnerving symptom of peri. I would say that for me, it began to be really awful after missing 6 or 7 periods consecutively. That and insomnia were the reasons I wanted to try HT.
The E has all but eliminated the helplessness I felt by the anxiety. Yes, the situations that caused the anxiety are still there, but like Sheebee said, it is much easier to deal with. You can calm yourself and nip it in the bud. Before, it would start and take off out of control.
I take P to balance the E. But, I know it's the E that helps me with anxiety (and insomnia).
Hope this helps.

c

How long did it take for you to get back into balance. I have felt the same way the first poster did. It has been 37 days of hell now. Ad and Aa pills made it worst. I have been on the same bio's that you are on plus thyroid meds for 8 days now. When does the balance start???????

Dear Power-Surge Sisters,

I am so sorry that you are having so many symptoms. I had them, too.

Because I started out with injections, my symptoms were gone over night. No kidding, it was that fast. By the 3RD day, I was crying (and I never cry) because I felt so normal. I felt wonderful.
I did not want to go back to feeling bad. I had many of the same symptoms as described.

The migraines were the worst. Four of them every month. Each one took me out for 2 days. Add a few more days for terrible cramps and heavy periods, it added up to 10 days out per month. Not to mention throw in an occasional cold...This meant that I was missing out on 1/3 of my life.

I do know from others posting that it dose take a few months. It really depends on where you are at in your meno journey. If you are younger, my doc says that you usually see results sooner.

Please don't despair. I think that many women that have post here get better, and move on with their lives. This board is a painful reminder...when they did not feel good.


I am sure that you will get balanced out.

I think that I just got lucky and got an experienced doc who has seen it all.

Hang in there,
Shebee

Hey SF!

I was just thinking about you last night and wondering how you were doing. Can you tell me the names and exactly what doses of everything you are taking? Are you still as bad as when we last spoke?

DollieDee...

What did you find out, very curious... Been having the same symptoms that you are describing, but mine are right at ovulation, which according to what I read is Progesterone, but I thought it was the Estrogen that caused the Anxiety...

Put a call into my Gyno today, left a message stating my symptoms, and that I want to have my hormone levels checked. Hoping to hear back. The only some what disheartening is when the Front Office Girl asked why is the Ativan not working. I was very polite, and said, I just want to know once and for all what is causing this. Based upon the cycle of my symptoms, I know it has to be related to my hormone levels, and I really just want to finally get to the bottom of this...

***Cuz like you said DollieDee it is the worst, it really truly is. So PLEASE would love to hear what you doctor had to say. I know it may not be the answer for me, but I am just curious... I am hoping to get into my doctor sometime this week, wish me luck....

ppppffffttt.....why is the Ativan not working......dontcha just LOVE some people who are not going through this?

Ativan has its place, but during the worst of my meno crash it was like applying a bandaid to a mortal wound. It make me able to sleep and able to handle the anxiety to a point. It surely did not CURE. The ADs also helped some, but again, did not CURE!! For some women, and certainly not ALL women, hormone replacement is the only cure.

I felt almost instant relief with Estrogel (transdermal estradio). I used prometrium but in the end had to quit using it as it was causing too many side effects. Now I am using a p cream...but after a little over 3 weeks on it, I have had 4 occular migraines in a row, one a day!! So I have stopped the P cream to see if that is what is causing the headaches. My occulars are always followed by a wicked headache that lasts 24 hours....so it has been 4 rather unpleasant days for me.

I wish I could do estrogen only, but alas with my uterus intact, I can not! I am off to the gyn on July 6 to see about trying vaginal P and some testosterone.

I too would like to hear how Dollie is doing.

Usually my doc ups the estrogen if you are having headaches. It might be that you need less of the cream. I read where some women absorb a lot of it, while others do not. Headaches are prevented by extra estrogen. He also gives depo-Estradiol injections. ...and you might only need extra estrogen for 3-5 days before your period (if your still having them.) ...and you might try compounded P...instead of prometrium???? I read where Prometrium can cause migraines.

I forget where you are in the meno he--. LOL!

Hey Shebee,

I am post. I don't use Prometrium anymore...caused liver function issues, massive weight gain, terrible water retention....ya it ******. I have been using a compounded P cream...5%, .2 ml x 2 times a day. It is the only thing I can see that has changed recently, that could cause these terrible occular migraines. Since I started the P cream I upped the Estrogel also. Taking .75 mgs x 2 a day.

I took no P yesterday, and I am not going to for a couple of weeks. I may have to cycle the P, as perhaps I can't handle it. I sure can't live with these headaches for much longer!!!

I know the P and E have to work together, and too much of one, or not enough of one can totally mess you up. I am feeling pretty messed up this week.

Dear 'Floater'
I really agree with you.The only time I experienced true normalcy is with the HRT.
I am not advocating it for anyone but honestly it does the trick for me.
We do not have access to BHRT or the creams you talk about.
- Trisequens 'siuts me just fine.I know it has two 2mgs of Estradiol and is the group of Oestrogen/progestation preparation(sex-hormones).
It is also cost friendly!

All the Best
Elizabeth