Does anyone know what the likelihood is of a woman getting pregnant during peri? If you were not married and in a committed relationship, would you consider unprotected sex if you were not on the pill?

Absolutely not. As long as you're still having a period you can get pregnant. If you don't want that, you need to find some type of birth control method. I know the odds are slim, but not that out of the ordinary. I have posted on other forums here about the woman my mother knew who got pregnant the summer after her youngest child graduated from college. I wouldn't chance it.

My dad was number 10. They have always told me that he was a "change of life baby." Not exactly sure what that means, but I'm sure he was a HUGE surprise!

I would NEVER chance it!

I'm sure the chances are slim, but it does happen once in awhile. And even though I am married, I wouldn't even think about risking it! The last thing I want right now is to have another baby!

I guess I'm nuts.. but I would love one! Anyone else?

Dear
Gracie'
Am inclined to agree with the others.No unprotected sex because as long as you are having periods-no matter how infrequently there is a chance of pregnancy.

Wish You Well
Elizabeth

Having a baby at 50 is would constitutes a nightmare for me and actually, I have that dream once in a while and wake up in a panic....sorry, that stage of my life is wayyyyy over....

Grandkids are the BESTEST!!! I would've loved to have had them first!!!

Think of the child........are you gonna feel up to spending every single week night at a baseball field............AFTER you have spent an hour on homework, dinner, band practice, chores, birthday parties, sleep overs............oh, and the unexpected melt down, by YOU and the kid..................you name it, there is no end to the stuff that has to be done with and for children......................... AND.....................all at the age of 60! OMG!!! I can't even begin to imagine! No matter how precious they are, they have insurmountable needs that only YOU can fulfill!

I still say, GRANDKIDS!!!

Tidalwaves,
Yes, yes and yes! Lots of grandparents raising grandchildren and doing all that and more. I know a couple in their 50's who are loving it. How old are the Obama's? 47 or 48.. isn't their youngest 6? Anyway, ain't gunna happen for me, but I still think I'd love it.

NO.....NO....Triple NO! LOL! Not unless you would like twins. As we age, our chances of twins increase. LOL!

My hubbies aunt was 57 and had her last child. She was fertile even after that.

However, a late pregnancy does keep you young!

In peri-meno sometimes you ovulate....sometimes not.

Shebee

Yes,it's possible to get pregnant while in peri. As long as you're having periods you can get pregnant. I wouldn't consider unprotected sex if I was not married. I'm having a little trouble wrapping my head around non-marriage commitment though.

I wanted 10 kids of my own, but that didn't happen.......SO..........I did the next best thing and started my own daycare. I'm sure that's what burned me out. 10 kids under my feet all day long without a break....................oh yea..............that's what did it!!

I'll stick to enjoying the grandkids.

YOU can have the babies at the age of 50!

Let me guess........you are either MUCH younger than I am and not in peri........or, you are having a VERY easy time of it.

This peri stuff has laid me flat out on my face!

I spend as much time with my grandkids as I possibly can, have hardly missed a weekend in over 2 years, driving 2 hours round trip to see my youngest one, but to take even 1 of them full time at this time of my life and it would be a major injustice to my baby. That.......I could not live with.

Tidalwave,
I had a horrible early peri.. 5 years of hell...I'm 1 1/2 years post now so I won't be producing any babies any time soon.
I feel pretty good these days other then the hot flashes that refuse to leave!
Hope you feel better soon.

In other words, not having casual sex. Of course I would want protection (e.g. condoms) if I were that I kind of a woman but I'm not. I'm talking about that special, long-term relationship, not quite sure of wanting to marry but not wanting to be with anyone else either, acting in every way like a married couple but without the license and ceremony. There are lots of people in committed, non-married relationships. I think that is where the term Common Law Marriage came from.

You've probably gotten the answer you needed but I'll throw my 2 cents in as well. Upon having my own little "change of life pregnancy scare" recently I've done a bunch of reading (as well as enlisting the support of the women on these boards!) and now see that the chances of a peri baby are smaller but not impossible. If you want a baby (or as someone else posted, twins) and are willing to take your chances go for it. You might want to look up the incidence of twin births in older women. During peri our ovaries sort of go into an irregular overdrive for lack of a better term and start spitting out the last of the remaining eggs. They do so kind of willy nilly and frequently release more than one. Fraternal twins are more common at this age. If you absolutely do NOT want to have a child at this point, birth control of some sort is a must. It would be nice after all these years not to have to worry about it but think of it as the home stretch. Just a bit longer and then you won't need to!

Oh and Jalyn, I know what you mean about loving the idea of another baby. I had always wanted 4 or 5 but infertility issues early on slowed things down and made it so much like work that by the time we had our third at 36, I didn't want to try for more. Ironically, the first two were Clomid babies the last was a complete surprise. As I got older I became more fertile (had three surprise no clomid pregnancies-two miscarriages in my thirties). I think the wanting another baby isn't so out of whack as long as someone is physically, mentally and financially up for it. And certainly the thought that it's possible allows a woman to hold onto the feeling that she's young. I think it's perfectly natural for some women to fear growing older and thinking that a baby would slow down the process. A tiny little part of me feels the same way but the rest of me (about 99.9%!) would jump off the tallest building if not restrained! From a "thinking with my heart" standpoint, I'd love another baby. From a realistic standpoint, I know it would be unfair to the child and a disaster in many ways for me and my husband.
Just not in the cards and there's a reason for that. I'll leave the childbearing to the young chicks and wait for my grandchildren to start coming. I'm ready for the freedoms that menopause will bring and plan to enjoy that next phase of my life. Now if only I could get through THIS phase a bit more quickly!

Jan, thanks, you're response, it made me feel better and not like I was from another planet or worse yet abusive because I'd love a baby at this time in my life. It's funny because the general feelings on different boards pertaining to having children in the peri years has been overall positive as long as you could support the child in all ways. I'm sure the negativity is due to the toll peri has taken on people and the lack of understanding that everyone is different with different circumstances.
Anyway, I'm looking into adoption or being blessed myself which is unlikely...

Yes, I agree that everyone is faced with different circumstances and motivators...I work with a woman who just adopted a baby after raising 2 kids; I'm guessing she's late 40s but always wanted a girl...

Myself, I left my parent's home at 20 to get married and become a mother 3 months later (yes, shotgun wedding but it worked!!) and then added 3 more wonderful kids who have given us great joy and a connection to the future ....butttttt...

Another baby ???? No way because we're now able to do things we enjoy as a couple the we've never had the opportunity to do before as our kids always came 1st..plus, we have the 1st gr. baby girl due in August so there's my circle of life continuing!!!

To each their own and I wish you well

Momz

Jalyn, I was not intending to make you feel "like you are from another planet" or "abusive" in any way, for wanting children during this time of life, if that is what you are referring to.

I was expressing MY feelings about it and MINE alone. Wasn't implying anything about you. If I made you feel that way, I am very sorry.

I just know that I could not do it and that is all I was saying.

Omg, you were not being negative and I know that! I should have clarified what I meant.. In the past the responses at times has been a bit negative concerning having babies or adoption in peri/menopause. Everyone has their opinion of course and that is the way it should be, but some have gone past their opinions and been a bit judgmental ... not you! I'm sorry I came across as if you or others in this thread were that way.. no one was at all.

HUGS!

I forgot to address my above post.. (Tidalwaves)

Boy, am I glad that got cleared up! I was worried that I had said things that were misunderstood.

I came very close to adopting a little girl not too many years ago. Got her room set up and everything. Her foster mother could not wait for me to get my stuff done, she wanted her out NOW! Very sad situation! She ended up getting a very good family. That was just before peri knocked me completely off my feet.

I have worked with children all of my life and still do! Wouldn't want to do anything else.

My very best wishes to you,

bev

hull no !!!!!!!

You are most welcome, Jalyn! We are all on these boards to get information, support and comfort. It's only fitting then that we offer the same to others in return. We may or may not get definitive answers to our clinical type questions but it is certainly a relief just to know we are not each our own little individual freak show!!! There are a lot of us out there going through the same things and I for one find that comforting. I hope everything works out for you and if you decide to adopt ... enjoy, enjoy and enjoy!!! Babies are a gift no matter how they come about.