LSSIES AS SOME OF YOU KNOW MY PASSED AWAY A WEEK AGO AND WHAT WORRIES ME IS I CAN'T CRY MUCH I JUST HAVE ANGER AND AIMING IT TOWARD MY HUBBY. I AM A BIG NAG AND I INSULT HIM. WHATS UP WITH THAT? I AM ON ZOLOFT A AD IT COULDN'T BE THAT KEEPING MY EMOTIONS FROM ME COULD IT? OR AM I TAKING HER DEATH IN A DIFFERENT EMOTION. I HATE THIS MY HUBBY IS SWEET AND HE UNDERSTANDS BUT HE DOES AND DOESN'T DESERVE THIS ANGER FROM ME. ANYONE ELSE GET THIS WAY?





SORRY I AM SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW I MEANT TO WRITE LADIES I CAN'T EVEN SPELL.

((((Lizard)))) Anger is part of the grieving process. Same thing happened to me when my mom died. The only advise I can give you is just be honest with him. Let him know it's NOT him, and you're struggling with many emotions and maybe he just needs to expect very little from you right now. Count to 10 before you say anything to him.

I didn't cry one tear until a year after my mom passed, so don't put pressure on yourself. It will come in time, when you're ready.

I'm sooooo sorry, and my prayers are with you!

Also.... you're in self preservation mode, be kind to yourself, you'll emerge again when you're ready.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Also... you're in self preservation mode. You'll emerge again when you're ready. Be kind to yourself.


XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

I'm so sorry about your Mom.

I lost my Mom in 2001 on Christmas Day. I ran the whole spectrum of emotion from anger to denial to depression.

I also slept...a LOT.

My point is, everyone expresses grief differently and it can change from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. Be gentle with yourself. I'm sure hubby understands, especially if you just explain to him what you're going through.

Don't be afraid to reach out to a bereavement group through church or elsewhere. It took me a while to find one, but it helped me so very much. ((((mega hugs))))

Dear Lizard,
I missed it, I am soo sorry, I did not know your mom passed away. My heart goes out to you. ((((((((L))))))))))))))
Greiveing is a process, I agree, and i went through all the phases, but I was angry at myself for the most part.
Give it some time, try to remember cheerful moments from the past, picture your mom alive and not sick, this kinda of things help.
Problem is, you can't let it go, so this anger is building up and you need to let it out, perhaps, it will get better, but try to control it, a little bit, or direct your negastive emotions into something positive, keep very busy, get a punch bag to release anger, try to socialize more, don't keep it inside.
Grieving counselling is a very good idea, I have regreted that I did not do it, it helps to talk to someone, who went though the same.
if you feel like it, can PM me, and we can talk about it.
Hugs,
I.

Oh Lizard lover, I had no idea. Big (((((((HUGS)))))))))). Crying will come. My Mom is sick with Cancer and I did not cry right away but was strong and firm and then it just hit me like a ton of bricks and I cried so hard. I am sure your husband understands.

Hugs
Mopsy

(((Lizardlover)))

((((((((Lizzie)))))))))))) I understand! Just let your hubs know, when you are ready, what you are going thru!! It took me a long while to let PPL know how I was feeling after my hub's and sister's passing!

Hugs,
CG

Hugs to you.

Kim

My prayers are with you!

Oh Lizzie I didn't know your mum had passed away.. I am so sorry to hear this news.
I lost my mum ten years ago. so hard we all show our grief differently. I was angry too.
I'm sure hubby will understand, the tears will come ..


Oh hugs from me too

Terry, I'm sorry,I missed that your mom passed away last week. I was also taking an AD when my mom passed away in 2007. I think the AD numbed me in some ways which wasn't all bad. It allowed me to grieve bit by bit which I needed.
Don't be to hard on yourself you're going through a lot right now... Hubby will forgive and forget.
Counting may help... but so will coming here and expressing it.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Dear Lizzard ,
I'm very sorry to hear about your mom.Like everyone says ,the crying will come.I still have my mom.I loss my dad 10 years ago.I cried more before his death because he was suffering . Your husband understands,I'm sure he will be patient with you.
God Bless

Rhonda P

Here is a fantastic book on grief - "Living Through Personal Crisis" by Ann Kaiser Stearns. You can order it on Amazon. So, so comforting. Easy to read, smartly written, and beautifully caring.

I am so sorry about the loss of your mother.

Thinking of you,

Dor

Lizzie, My Love and (((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))) go out to you.

Fin

Thanks ladies i appreciate your thoughts and advice and caring hugs to all of you!!!!!!

((((big hugs))))
When i lost my Dad last year i took it out on my hubby too....and i think on everyone i came in contact with...as a matter of fact,i find myself still doing that at times a year later.We all grieve in different ways,and the stages of grief can come at different times....my heart goes out to you.

Dear lizardlover,
My heart goes out to you.My mum died on Valentines Day in 1998..a day I won't forget ever. I was SO angry for a long time I blamed everyone in sight. One day I was driving home and I suddenly began to cry. I sobbed. It was the beginning of a healing process which has taken a long time. I'm sure you will get there in your own time. Love to you, Antique X

THANKS ELIZABETH I APPRECIATE YOUR ADVICE AND THOUGHTS AND PRAYER HUGS TERRY

Lizardlover, I am so sorry to hear your mom has passed. My heart truly goes out to you. I think of this all of the time as my folks are near 80. It scares the hell out of me. I understand the thing about not handling your emotions like everyone else. I have a very hard time letting myself cry. I store it up and I literally feel sick because I cannot release this cleansing emotion when I need to. Don't judge yourself for this. And yes, it is much easier to snap at others than to release the tears for some. Personally, I think I spent so many years trying to control my emotions that I did myself a great disservice in the long run. Crying is cleansing and healing for the soul. It helps us to recover in ways that are misunderstood and sometimes mysterious. I feel my self burn with anger just like you when really I need to be crying to get it out of me to heal my wounded emotions. When I was on AD's I found it really nice that I didn't even feel like crying when it was appropriate, it was tough to feel deeply on AD's and I don't think that is healthy in the long run for anyone. I feel afraid sometimes that if I do let in to having a good cry I might lose control and go off the deep end never to return. I know thats probably all BS, but again, it's all about having control. It's like geeze, I cannot control events around me, death, sickness, job loss, financial woes, but I sure as hell can try to control my emotions. Not pretty. Give yourself a break, have a huge blow out cry, even if you have to rent a sad movie to evoke these emotions, but cry and get the grief out the best you can and let yourself have a year to recover for the most part. My opinion is that we never recover from losing our parents, we just cope and move on and hang in there with the belief we will be with them again for eternity. hugs Debra

Thanks again to all of you ladies i appreciate your advice and just your caring. I did have a cry tonight not a big one but it was a little relief. Hugs to all of you.

(((((((hugs liz))))) it takes time...just let it flow...


xxxooo, CIC

Liz:

I am so sorry that you have lost your mom. Please do not punish yourself for feeling ANYWAY at all. We all experience grief diffferently. All the ladies who posted before me offered such wise advice, I do not hink I can offer much more other than to send you my heart felt compassion and hope for peace and healing in time.

love linda

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I know what you're going through. May 1st was the two-year anniversary of my Mom's passing. I think I cried more on that day than I did on the 1st anniversary. I miss her everyday.

HI Lizzy, I hope you are doing better. Everybody reacts to stress differently. My hubby expresses worry and concern with anger (yeah, it does make it pretty confusing to figure out). He' clear to communicate that it isn't me and is good about asking for space. It is hard for me to deal with but I do understand it. I'm sure your hubby does too. If you find the anger difficult to control look for an anger management program or class in your area. It really helps give you some tools to make it easier.

HUGS and hang in there.

THANKS AGAIN LADIES MAYBE THE ANGER IS PERI LOL

Hi Lizzie. I lash out at people too when I am depressed. I think it is quite normal. You are sad, but you are also mad! ADs really numb your pain in a way that you have difficulty expressing it. Very common. It's like you dry up. There are pros and cons to ADs. We are all here for you honey. Take it easy on yourself. If you tell hubby what is going on he will better understand. Show him this thread maybe.

Bless you,
Suzanne

Dear Terry...I just read your post about your Mother's recent passing. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Please take good care of yourself.

Deb