This is something that I have noted in the years since I have had my daughter (she's 8 and a half now).....

That from about 4pm to early evening I get depressed.....and really quite bored....I do try and busy myself with preparing dinner, helping with her homework, tidying, washing etc.,....but it doesn't matter what I do I seem to find this time of day very depressing and I feel terrible.

Take today for instance....after she went to school I went to the gym, had a good workout, did a bit of shopping, came home had lunch, watched a bit of daytime soap, did some cleaning up, went to pick her up from school ......still feeling 'normal'...then as soon as I got home 'whammo' I felt down and could not pull myself out of it.

It has been a miserable weather day and now it is thundering and lightning a little too.......

Could I also be affected by the change in barometric pressure???

I guess it doesn't help that I have a husband that doesn't get home until late (he is in a intensive class 'til end of June so I don't see him before 9pm)
and, well, I feel very lonely too...in fact I feel terribly lonely today and want to cry...oh dear, here it comes...those tears......

I am now beginning to question my sanity...I mean, I am now beginning to feel that I have always been somewhat depressed.....but during this menopausal transition I feel extremely depressed. But I don't know....as I sometimes feel OK, especially when I am busy.


I am confused and lonely now.

Sorry for this downer of a post....I guess it is just my state right now.


What pi**es me off is that I thought I was making some progress in all this nightmare....I had a good few months of feeling like my old self was returning, but now she's gone again!

I look at other peoples lives and I am jealous.....they all seem to be happy and content...OK so not everyone, but a lot that I know.

I have always had a tendency to look at what other people have, what fun things they do together and my life just seems to dull, boring and uninteresting and I long to be a part of their lives and not my own.

What is wrong with me?

Again, sorry for this vent......I need to offload and let it all out.

Caz

Caz,
From reading your other posts, it sounds to me like you are sort of isolated from your family who is in the UK, and that your DH isn't around much, and (correct me if I mixed you up with someone else) that things are not the best between you and him.

Is there any way you could get involved in some local classes or learn some craft that you are interested in? I know the libraries here also have many different groups that you can go to from crafts, to reading, to knitting.

I think we peri and meno ladies go into a sort of cocoon when we go through this he** and lose our energy and motivation to do anything. I know I purposely isolated myself because I had developed anxiety and started feeling anxious in social situations and found it too draining to maintain conversations. While I mourned the me I used to be who always was busy and involved, and I made myself miserable every day wondering what I've done in my life, I just didn't have what it took to do anything about it.

You need some women to get together with. Maybe starting out by joining some groups, and from there you may cultivate a couple of close friendships. I think we make ourselves worse because we become so inwardly focused and I noticed when I did make myself get out and do things, and even do volunteer work for Meals on Wheels and also help people who need help in various ways, it got my mind off myself and distracted me and gave me a good feeling that I was doing something worthwhile.

Sariah's post is great...excellent advice. I also think that a lot of us suffer from that mid to late afternoon crash. It is especially hard on people who have had adrenal issues - which I think you have?. From the description of your day, I would be dead on my feet but the end of the day!!! Perhaps you should pace yourself a little bit. I know if I overdo it, I sure pay. I have been a going concern for several days now and today I have been exhausted. I tried to go shopping after work, and just couldn't do it!! I seriously just needed rest. Maybe you are doing the same thing??

Dear'Caz'
I think you really got some great advice from the ladies.

I too am on my own quite a lot which can produce that depressed,bored feeling.However,be assured that every single person looking so happy and content on the outside may be very miserable deep down.

I have joined a monthly Book Reading Club plus practise Yoga two nights a week.Also do some voluntary work.All these have helped to ease me back into the Community and force interaction even when many times I have felt just like being left alone.

So nothing is wrong with you.
We all experience the exact same moments and emotions as you do!That inner restlesness!

Hope you feel better soon.

Warm Wishes
Elizabeth

Sariah...yes you are correct, my family is in the UK.

Floater....also correct I do have an adrenal issue.....still not resolved, but am working on it. Weirdly enough, I am not exhausted though.

Elizabeth, Sariah and Floater: I do wish I could just drop things and go out in the evening to a class...I would LOVE that, but unfortunately I have my 8 yr old daughter here to take care of......I do go to a mediation class once a week, but I even get stressed before that as I have to porn my daughter off with a neighbour before I can go!! I guess I feel 'trapped'.....yes, it's that kind of feeling.....believe me I would absolutely LOVE to be able to meet up with friends and do different things.

I also think I would then feel bad if I went somewhere a few nights a week and neglected my daughter!!!!...see, I can't win, can I?

I think maybe I have a deeper issue that needs to be resolved regarding my depressive episodes, as I seem to have always felt this way late afternoon/eve and sometimes even weekends when we have nothing in particular planned. I can't understand why, but I always wonder what everyone else is doing and feel that I am lost and lonely at these times.

This is another reason that I am stressing so much about when my husband goes away in September.....he's off to Iraq for a YEAR (will be home every 3 months for 3 weeks)....and I dread those long lonely nights and endless insomnia. that is another reason why I have had a bad spell of insomnia just recently.

I do feel I could do with some 'closer' friends here...I have made SOME friends, and some are from the UK, but they all seem so busy with their own families and lives...you know, I just don't have that one special friend here that wants to 'pop over' for a cup of tea or go to a movie or invites me over for a BBQ etc.,......boy, now I'm beginning to sound like I am 'Ms unpopular' or 'Ms no fun to be around'!!!!! (actually maybe I am not fun to be around with these days!).

Oh well....there I go again, being depressive...sorry ladies......I am in a bad place right now.

Caz

Thanks for 'listening'

caz,
Could you be having low blood sugar at that time? I know if I haven't made sure to start my day with some protein and a healthy carb and also be sure I have regular snacks and meals that contain protein to stabilize the blood sugar, I can feel pretty awful by late afternoon.

Caz,

I feel so badly for you. I think part of your problem is feeling trapped, isolated and lonely. Do you have facebook at all? There are a lot of ladies here who have facebook accounts. We keep in touch every day and we are closely connected --- why dont you join us?

Didn't know that would cause my depressed feelings?!

I seem to chomp at anything from 4pm to dinner time......usually rubbish though, not much protein.....but I do make sure I eat it at lunch and dinner.

Caz

Oh, yes. Low blood sugar can cause depressed feelings. Maybe try to be consistent with protein and healthy carbs, (no sugary stuff) and be sure to get a snack with protein and fruit a couple hours after lunch and see if that helps.

Hi Caz, Where do you live? I am in the same boat. I am lonely. I do not hae a job and spend my day trying to get
out to just feel better.

Kim

Hi Kim,

I live in sprawling Northern Virginia....30 minutes from DC...its all hectic and chaotic around here.

I am going out the house now just to feel better...anyhow I have to have a smile on my face ALL DAY as I promised I would....!

Caz