I recently decided to try to be more positive,sadly after going through several difficult years,including starting peri at 29 years old,family troubles and illness,and other stressful things I realized that I have become very negative.I have just became negative by habit,I wake up that way and go to bed that way-and then when something happens,like my kids acting up,or my hubby doing some small thing I become very angry.I saw myself like this and did not like who I had become.I prayed about it and now I have decided to try everyday to be more positive.Even when I do not feel like it,I "put on my positive"like putting on make up or clothes.Guess what?It is working.My kids seem less negative,my hubby too.My attitude was really affecting them.I just wanted to share this with my sisters,to "challenge" you guys to "put on your positive".Everytime you feel like something negative is going to come out of your mouth try to say something positive instead-none of us can be happy all the time,but this is really helping me.Post and let me know if it works for you too!!GOD bless

Lady E,

You ARE on the right track. Good for you!!!

Back in 2001, I felt pretty much in the same situation. Problems with my children, activities, work all brought me down which made the negativity settle in. Unfair for me to take it out on my children and ex-husband but I did but only for a while. I started getting out of the house and riding my bike, playing tennis, or walking early in the mornings. It was the best turn-around mechanism that worked, plus it was FREE.

Take care and keep up the good work.

Tina

Such super advice. I try and do that and then can't seem to stick with it for more than a few days at a time. I'm a work in progress.

Kar,

It was difficult at first but once you get the hang of it, you begin to look forward to it.

The tennis was what got me going. I never really played tennis before and I found it difficult but such a great workout in an hour or less. I would get out in the morning, usually on the bike but waited for my husband to come home to play tennis. It became addictive and I liked that I was slimming down.

Each day is different so you may have a day or two where you just don't feel like it. I would suggest that you try to make yourself get out and if you're really not feeling like it, then stay in for a little while longer. You never, know, the mood may strike you to get out.

Take care,

Tina

So am I ! Every time one of my kids does something irritating I have to really work at not being negative,even baby steps are steps forward!GOD-bless

Thanks! I am trying,because I want my kids to look back one day and say,you know my mom did her best.That i svery important to me.That they know they are worth my best.I agree about the exercise,when I walk for an hour the troubles I had before do not seem so pressing.GOD-bless

One thing I try to do its yell at my hormones! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY! CHILL OUT! GET IT TOGETHER! I'M IN CONTROL YOU AREN'T! It doesn't always work (espeacially the control thing LOL). Right now it's not helping with the S H A K I N G thing but it's giving me that little extra oomph to throw a load of laundry in the washer!

I've tried to resist perimenopause for years. It's been one long constant battle, so inevitably, my thoughts have become negative. I've been scared out of my wits and overwhelmed with all the different and sometimes bizzare symptoms. I'm trying to accept that this IS temporary and it WILL pass - I think I'm working towards some kind of acceptance in the hope that my anxieties will lessen.

I too get scared,I just couldn't stand myself for being so negative to my family-I am in no way saying we should ignore our pain,just saying that I am finding that my negativity has been improved by applying a more positive spin on things.I hope you feel better!GOD-bless

I think this is a great thread!! Someone mentioned meditation earlier, it really helps. I lay in bed for about 10-15 minutes each morning meditating and it really has helped me.

I am glad you have something to help,I often pray before I get up,and that centers me-helps me realize I can do it.Have a great day leanne!!GOD-bless

Oh I know, Lady --- I'm trying to be more positive too -- I think it's a great idea!

Feel better soon!

So glad I did not come off wrong!! I am happy you understood my meaning!Maybe we can all make things a bit brighter.GOD-bless

Great idea, I too am trying this.

This is really key to all situations. Our beliefs and attitudes shape our experiences. I have even read that our brains cannot tell the difference between thoughts and "reality" so in that respect your thoughts shape your reality. You can be just as frightened or upset by a thought as if that thing was really happening. It is hard at first just like exercising but try replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, and you will begin to notice improvement in how you feel. If you tell yourself every day that you are healthy and feel good every time one of those self-defeating ideas pop up, your outlook will begin to change. Thinking negatively is a habit and habits can be changed.

I agree.While positive thinking is not a "cure all"it sure is a balm to the soul!!GOD-bless

LadyE,

Thanks for starting this topic. I, too, have been struggling with being negative so much of the time in the last, who knows how long? I can't tell you how many times I've said something or gotten angry for some small reason, and then felt so remorseful and frustrated with myself. I also can't tell you how many times I've asked the Lord to forgive me. It always happens at home, it seems. Why is it so much easier to hurt the ones who mean the most to us? Anyway, I have tried to hide a few choice Bible verses in my heart, and in the morning, I remind myself of those verses. I know God can and does help if we ask.

Again, thank you for starting this topic! We all just need to keep on trying and things will get better!

God bless you!

Deb

Thank you!! That means a lot.I too am "hiding his word in my heart",in fact that is one of my favorite psalms!I have been doing this "putting on the positive"as I call it for about two weeks now,and I am seeing results!My hubby and kids are responding,and I am very happy about that.Things will never be perfect,but this is a step forward.Hope you have a wonderful weekend,and keep your chin up!!GOD-bless

Even though I agree with what you are attempting to get across here, I would also like to share something of my experience.

For far too many years I was unable to separate the spiritual from the physical.

"If I do this, this will be the outcome." "If I don't do this, this will be the outcome."

I honestly believed that something was VERY wrong with me spiritually because I had such anxiety and felt so horrible ALL THE TIME!!

That's the one huge misconception that many believer's fall into.

Everything that I had believed my entire life was suddenly failing me miserably and I took full BLAME

and responsibility for it. I was in a battle for my very life and I was LOSING, despite everything that I believed to be truth.

WHAT WAS I DOING WRONG??? I am doing everything that I know to do and I am STILL dealing with this boat load of stuff!!!

I am saying this for those who struggled the way I did.........to those who cried for help, but help did not come in the manner in which you thought it would come.

Here was my problem; I was not willing to compromise the mindset I had given in to for all these years and it kept me bound by thinking that was taking my very breath away!!

I was a prisoner to my own erroneous beliefs.

How does this relate to this topic of conversation? Believe me, it does!

Don't fall into the trap I fell into and refuse to get the help that you need.

The ladies right here on PS are the ones who saved my life.........literally!!

Don't misunderstand me, please. I am saying this for those who had the mindset that I had for so long.

Read between the lines.

Lots of love,

bev

Bev,My beliefs are not the topic here-my topic and post were about being more positive.For me that does include my beliefs,but for others it simply means not being so negative all the time.Also if you read my replies I have said several times that being positive is no cure all-it simply helps many of us to get through he hard times that peri brings.I have not fallen into any trap,and I get plenty of help- from GOD,my family,my dr,etc.Please do not judge my beliefs,as I do not believe that is allowed here on this board.If that is not what you meant I am sorry,but that is how you made me feel.GOD-bless

Lady, I was not directing this towards you and I was in no way judging you or your beliefs. If you will read what I wrote, what I said was; "This is where I got tripped up!" This had absolutely NOTHING to do with you or anyone else on here, but ME and only ME!

Try reading it again and see if I said anything about anyone but myself. I apologize if that's the way I came across, it was never in any way intended that way.

Thank you for clarifying.I hope I did not hurt your feelings,I hope you understand...GOD-bless

I was a little taken back by your response, but I try to remember that we are all here for basically the same reasons; we are suffering from a hormonal imbalance that is making life miserable for us at this time, so I try to understand. I got over it after I stewed for a little bit. Hopefully the same goes for you.

Maybe I'll share more later as to why I felt compelled to say the things that I said. It goes very deep and it took me a very long time to come to terms with a lot of things. Probably not something I need to share on here at this time.

Take care,

bev

Bev,sorry again.I have been having a hard couple of days-my oldest son(14)and I had a really big fight last Thursday-huge-and I have had an on and off headache since.Please forgive my over reaction and thanks for caring.GOD-bless

Just bumping this thread back up.......
I had my yearly evaluation at work and one of the things i was told had really been on my mind.....the boss said "you tend to be negative sometimes".....at first i felt insulted and upset about it but once i got home and really,really thought about it for awhile i realized it's true.I work with the public and it's easy to get irritated and aggitated with people if i don't keep myself in check.Since then I have been very conscious of my inner thinking before i go to work ...before,when it was time to leave for work i would be thinking "i dread going to work,people are jerks,my co-workers drive me crazy,the hours drag by,i should quit,etc.etc."Now i tell myself i will have a good day,i will have fun and i will enjoy being with people,etc. and it makes a huge difference.I still have some days where i'm still in that negative mode,co-workers drive me crazy,etc. but if i fake being cheery and happy it seems to have a ripple effect and others start doing the same......

Moonlight, I could have written your post! I used to have to work with the public and I got totally burned out. I worked with people who had been laid off or fired or their company moved out of the country, etc., and they needed to get another job. They were all angry and frustrated. They'd take it out on me and after a long time of just hating the whole thing, I could not continue because it was starting to affect my outlook and even my health. Thankfully, I was able to transfer to something else with the same company and now I don't have to deal with the public at all. I don't miss it!

I think people in general tend to be negative. Employees who talk about something are often complaining or venting. Neighbors who visit "across the backyard fence," so to speak, are sometimes discussing something bad that they heard about someone they both know, or they are complaining about whatever. People nowadays never say "please" and "thank-you." I know that just from having to drive, there is a frightening level of anger out there from other drivers. They glare and give obscene gestures for nothing. Certainly I've never seen another driver smile and wave; maybe in a rare case someone I know, but that's it. People are quick to complain and criticize, but hearing a genuine compliment with no caveat is pretty uncommon. They love to discuss health problems or surgeries or give you details about a funeral they went to.

I do think LadyE has a really good idea about trying to think positive. I know it's true with me; I tend to do negative self-talk and think about negative things (like going back over some angry issue I had with someone or about something). What I do when I start that is tell myself to STOP and think of something positive about that same issue. Sometimes I've had a hard time finding something positive about it, but eventually I do and it helps me turn myself around.

I read about a study once where people who were in bad moods were told to act as if they were in a good mood. Instead of making them feel worse, this actually caused them to get into a better mood.

I'm on an antidepressant and even with that, it's hard to be in a good frame of mind sometimes. I still tend to have rather bad dreams at night; always about some conflict with someone or some kind of struggle. My husband has great dreams; car chases and that sort of thing, while I'm dreaming about trying to go somewhere and I'm late or something. So even at night it's hard to be positive, LOL!

But people like happy people. So this should tell us something. There are some folks I know whom I've learned not to ask how they are doing today, because I'll get a litany of problems and complaining. Hey, we all have a hard time keeping our chin up, and everyone is having a bad day in one sense or another, but try to smile and think of something to be thankful for and something good to say.

Moonlight and sugargrove-thanks for the replies!I still struggle daily,but I have seen a difference in my families life because of the "putting on the positive".I used to hate going out around people,I would say "oh,they really don't like me"or"I wonder what they really think about me".But I have been making a concentrated effort to think better of myself and others,and with GODs help I am doing much better.But years of being negative does not go away in a week,so I am going to keep working till it becomes a "positive habit".Send me a pm if you need some support,GOD-bless

Dear Lady E'
I too have seen some positive changes after realising how quick I am to complain when honestly am blessed in many ways.So practise "The Fake it till you Make it".and it does work.I do feel that I prefer a lot mot alone time than when I was younger but do make the effort to get out and about a least once a week to look at the shops or have coffee with a friend.

I pray every evening and I believe that this also helps.

God Bless
Elizabeth

Dear CSugargrove
I enjoyed reading what you wrote.Yes there are times when one really has to push himself to stay cheerful and optimistic but it does pay off.As we grow older we are more tolerant in some ways and less tolerant in others.

I too take an AD but as you say it is not a cure all .Exercise helps quite a bit and have found Yoga to be especially grounding.Also cutting out a lot of sugary foods seems to have a positive effect as I do have a very sweet tooth!

Here in The Middle East many people live in abject poverty with little hope of a way out.So when I see these poor dirt encrusted children scrambling in the garbage bin it reminds me of just how good I have it.

All the Best
Elizabeth

Dear'moonlight'
As I wrote in my reply to Sugargrove am too was very guilty of negative thinking and being too easily irritated and upset. So I too am making a conscious effort to be thankful for all the good things in life and enjoy the moment.At first it felt fake but have been aware that my positive attitude has its rewards.

Such small things as thanking the shop assistants for their assistance and wishing people a good day has like you say 'a ripple on effect'

Am pleased this thread was revived.

God Bless
Elizabeth

Wow,I am so glad my post has had such a "positive"effect!!Lets keep it going ladies,the world sure could use a little light in all the darkness.Let your lights shine!!GOD-bless

Hi Lady E,
I have been very negative tonight and have posted some downright depressing posts. I need to re read Joel Osteens book Your Best Life Now. That made a huge difference in my thoughts and attitude. Sometimes though I just need to purge myself of all of my sorrow and fear and negativity by putting it into words and letting it go. I stuffed the poison for too many years. Now I have my minor breakdowns and pick myself up and move on. I try to look at the bright side and the blessings I have and wait for the drama to pass. It always does.......Thank God......Debra

I used to hold things in a lot as well.Now I have learned that it is best to deal with things sanely before they get bottled up and end up being 100 times worse.There are times for everything,and sometimes we have the right to be angry.Hope you feel better today.GOD-bless

I wish it were that easy for me. I start out thinking I have the right to be angry but then I end up thinking the other person is better (lack of a word) than me and it must be me that's wrong. Then I feel bad, guilty I brought up anything at all. As I am writing this I see self-esteem is a problem for me, probably where a lot of the depression is coming from.

You are right about bottling things up it's something I need to work on...somhow, someway...how?
Robin

I have huge self esteem problems as well.I have since childhood(was teased horribly)so I know where you are coming from.The best advice I can give is that you need to realize God made you and you are lovable,beautiful creation.Start thinking about the positive aspects of you-something you are good at?Concentrate on that-your best feature-show it off.You have to love yourself.GOD-bless

Thanks so much Lady E. Beautifully written.

you are very welcome.GOD-bless