Hi All

I have suffered with depression for about 15yrs now was on and off many AD's
i have been on Effaxor XL for about 5yrs now maybe longer not sure....
at first it helped me but in the last few years my mood has been up and down
i managed to cope somehow????
Then since around last October/November my mood became so low i didnt want to leave
the house or socialise not even with family,Im not sure if this was the onset of Peri,its hard
to say, as many of the symptoms i have now if i recall crept in over the last few years.
So since last oct.I tried to convince myself all this will pass i will pick up again.......
alas no i just hid away at home ventureing out maybe once a week to keep my hubby from
yapping...
"Im sick of doing the shopping" god help him as well as me...i didnt know what was happening?
then all the other symptoms seemed to get worse Insomnia(really bad)hot flushes,bad mood swings,
fatigue,over eating or not eating,oh im sure you know this list and more inside out!!!!!
Well after much coaxing from my hubby and daughters i went to my Dr 2weeks ago in a trerrible
state i tried to tell him all my symptoms between sob's, know what he said oh its chronic depression
go home put some makeup on get out meet people smile.....(Become an Actress) WHAT I FELT LIKE
DIEING......he took some bloods told me come back next week .........I was thinking if im alive!!!!!
I told my daughter an hubby they were god smacked......It was my daughter who at 23 said mum
could it be Menopause?????so this is when i found this site/forum and on reading symptoms etc etc
i realised this could be what is going on, I then got myself SleepWell (Valerain Root) herb to help
me sleep,also i got Sepia 30c i had seen mentioned in forum,also MenoHelp (Black Cohosh) herb
to help with hot flushes and other symptoms.........I went back to my Dr's last thursday and armed
with information i had read on PS i firstly told him off for his words last week.....ie: makeup etc
i told him trying to remain calm an while crying of the dreadfull symptoms i have been having so
he has taken more bloods to check my Thyriod/Hormones i hope to get results this week and see
where i go from here,As yet the herbal meds i got have not kicked into my system but it will take
time as some helpfull ladies on PS has told me.I hope and pray that my Dr can help and the herbal
meds also help me through this transition.....Its horrible its heartache .............
Thankyou for listening to my rantings......I wish you all the best in what ever stage you maybe in
and hope and pray one day it all my come to pass.

godbless xxxxxx

You have come to the right place. I hope that you will find the answers you need to get through this time of our lifes. I sounds to me like meno. But I don't think I ever had depression. But now that I am into meno, I sure know what it feels like. I was on Lexapro and xanax to start out. I got off the lexapro and just using the xanax as needed. I am on BHRT as for now. SOmetimes I wonder if a AD would help to get through some of these awful symptoms.
You hang in there girl. You are not crazy, it is the doctor that I would like to get ahold of. Put on some makeup...whew...what kind of a comment is that to someone who can barely talk.
I hope you find out your test results. Let me know how they come back. I am interested. In the meantime. You are not alone. There are plenty of us here on PS that are struggling through this.
Keep in touch.
Sishaircut

Hi, I just want you to know that you are not alone. Sometimes all we can do is keep on keeping on. I have gone from being a single mom of 2 boys that are both grown and gone that was happy, vibrant, outgoing, happy go lucky, always wanting to find fun things to do. Now in the throws of perimenopause I've become agoraphobic. I know part of the agoraphobia for me is the dissociation. When I look in the mirror I can't see myself, I don't look "normal" to "me"! This daunts me to no end. It takes everything I have to just get a shower. I never put on makeup anymore unless I HAVE to go somewhere. When I do go out I don't drive anymore and it's normally just to go to the dr. Luckily my boyfriend has been doing all the shopping/cooking and bringing me my meals. He takes me to my dr. appts. as well. I'm grateful that he's their to help me through this, but on the same token I feel so emotionally distant it's almost pathetic. I just don't want anyone around right now, so I sit here day after day by myself with short evening visits from him, because that's all I can tolerate for now. I feel like I just don't care about anything. I do, but I dont if that makes any sense.

I just started on BHRT a couple of weeks ago, and have another doctor appt. this Thursday. I know I need to add some testosterone into the mix. I wake up at times with that "impending doom" and it stays for hours. My g/f is on T and she said T took this away, so I'm praying it does for me. I do have to say since starting on progesterone that I am getting some sleep. Prior to the P I would wake up every nite for at least 2 hours and not be able to go back to sleep. Even when I did sleep, I never felt rested, so at least I am getting to bed early and can look forward to actual sleep, which is a blessing. I haven't had a migraine either since starting on P.

In the midst of all the maddness I do always keep hope in my heart. I know this won't last forever. Just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, or one minute at a time. It's nice to have ps to come to where we have other people that understand the insanity of it all.

~Hugs & God Bless

I can feel for you, I have gone through the same thing with not wanting to go out of the house, depression, anxiety, not wanting to shower, get dressed, etc. I did that for a year 2 years ago. It seems to kinda cycle now, a bunch of days that are tolerable and a bunch of days where I can't stand myself or anyone else. It's hard to plan anything since you don't know how you will feel each day. I missed a birthday dinner with my son last week because I couldn't go out, I was a mess. I don't think he understood so I'll buy him dinner soon to make up for it. I still have a hard time but can force myself more often now. I went to the store today, HURRAH! NO SHAKES TODAY, been awhile. I just went for a few things but it exhausted me. Hang in there, there are good days coming! And you are right, some days are minute by minute and some days you can take hour by hour and every once in awhile you'll go all day and say "WOW" I actually had an OK day!

Sureallife,
I have been going through the same thing for 6 months now although the first five months were crazy. It does seem like the feelings go in cycles. I will have wonderful 3 weeks and then I wake up and it starts again for about a week. I don't understand what brings it on. I feel great the night before. I too will not leave my house let alone my couch.. I just wait for the good days to come. We will get through this.

Dear Irish,

I'm so sorry that your doctor was so insensitive but happy to hear that he is following through for you on the testing. I really hope that you will get the answers that you need! I've been where you are for years and I know how painful it can be. I will be keeping you in my prayers and look forward to hearing how your test results go...


Best Wishes,

TJ

I can relate to this depression you're talking about. I have become so desensitized that when I do go out and say, meet people for lunch or whatever-when I get back home, I wonder how I did it. I just put on a face I guess.
It is a struggle to go out into the world. I have to make myself go do things, I don't have anyone to do things for me. I am tired all of the time. When I manage to do a little yard work it takes forever to recover from it. This is mainly from being so out of shape. And speaking of shape-well, that's another subject for another thread!
I was really looking forward to Spring-but I have to ease into seasonal changes now, ugh. Reading over what I am writing here is making me angry(at myself)
So, let me just say this Irishlady, try to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Don't give up.

((((((hugs)))))))Irishlady, I hope you feel better. Things will get better.
Senecaguns

That doctor is very insensitive. How obnoxious, put on some make-up, UGH!!!!!
It sounds very much like meno to me. Read back on all the older posts here and you will see how many of us go through the exact same things with no other explanation. I always thought you just got hot, I had no idea how awful this phase can be. With different aids many of us have had symptoms relieved quite a bit, maybe not completely, I am a work in progress. Bcp;s gave me my life back, yes bio identinticals would probably be better, but without prescription insurance, I can get samples from from doctor, so that's the route I chose. there are so many options.

YOu will find your way back one of these days. Hang in there and keep coming here to get help. Have a better day.

That doctor is very insensitive. How obnoxious, put on some make-up, UGH!!!!!
It sounds very much like meno to me. Read back on all the older posts here and you will see how many of us go through the exact same things with no other explanation. I always thought you just got hot, I had no idea how awful this phase can be. With different aids many of us have had symptoms relieved quite a bit, maybe not completely, I am a work in progress. Bcp;s gave me my life back, yes bio identinticals would probably be better, but without prescription insurance, I can get samples from from doctor, so that's the route I chose. there are so many options.

YOu will find your way back one of these days. Hang in there and keep coming here to get help. Have a better day.

Has any one gotten any relief fromPaxil? I've been on 20mg for 3 months now and it did take 7 weeks to start feeling good. But I've had two episodes where I woke up and felt like crap all over again with anxiety, lack of doing any thing. It only would last about a week but pretty scarey. This is my 3rd time and going on a week. I do take Klonopin too. But I'm not sure if this means I need to up the dose or just deal with it. I understand every day can't be bliss but nothing triggers these episodes. I felt so good for 6 weeks, better than ever with tons of energy. Ate like crazy, which I need to do because one of my issues is loss of appetite. This only seems to happen to me in the morning and by evening I would feel good.
Anybody???? Char

Dear Char
Here I am!I have had my relief from Prozac at a steady 20mgs. Now that you have been on Paxil for a fair amount of time and have had mostly good results it means that the AD suits you but you may need to up the dose to obtain maximum relief.
I still have to take the occasional Xanax as I did and still do have the occasional bouts of high anxiety due to family circumstances.
Also about the lack of appetite,which I did experience on Prozac for over a year,try to eat small frequent meals.A banana,some yoghurt,a handful of nuts.Be a grazer and if you feel nauseous put a little lemon and ginger in some warm water and sip slowly throughout the day. There is also a Powder which when mixed with a little water will give you all the vitamins and minerals needed by your body.I think it is called Complan.It has a light Vanilla flavour and is easy to digest.

Anyway,as I am not a Doctor please do make an appointment to discuss all your symptoms with your prescribing Physician.

Please keep us posted
God Bless
Warm Hugs
Elizabeth

Elizabeth,
Thank you for being there for me. It means alot. Anyway the bad week is over and I feel much better. It's just so weird it only last a week ( thank goodness ). I will keep you posted....... Char

Hey, Char! I'm a Char, too. Don't often see the name!

I'm five years post and I can so well remember everything you all are going through. If I had not had to work to have a roof over my head, I'd likely have stayed home, too. But I had to work or I would not eat or have anywhere to live. I'm married but my husband didn't earn enough to support both of us.

After about three or four bad years of meno symptoms, everything you've mentioned and more, I asked my doctor for a Lexapro prescription and I'm still on it and feeling great. My husband had a really bad crash with depression in 2000 and the doc put him on Lexapro at that time. My husband was having a lot of medical issues; he'd had total knee replacement and the anesthesia they use to put you to sleep had caused him to spiral downward, plus retiring early with bad feelings about his job made it worse. He's done so well on Lexapro that I asked for the prescription so I could feel happier and have more motivation, and I do. I also use the Revival Soy; it's my main protein source--I'm a vegetarian. I sleep very well now; you will, too. I never used to get any exercise and now I walk on a treadmill almost 4 miles a day and I do think it helps me to sleep at night.

Glad to hear from someone who's been there and made it through. Gives me some hope.