I'm so depressed and discouraged today. I saw another MD yesterday ( this will be 5 different ones). and she didn't offer me anything much new except to try a patch (climara)instead of hormone pills. I have been to so many md's and I found this one at a university teaching hospital so I really had some hope. I have seen 2 Gyn, 2 internal medicine and I psych doctor. and i can't seem to get relief from my symptoms. How long do I have to go through this. and why doesn't anyone in the medical field care??? Had alot of blood work done and everything was normal for my age except estrogen was low. So once again the Dr just takes another guess and hopes I'll leave them alone. I am so angry with the medical establishment at large for their uncaring attitudes toward women my age (50) If you don't have a textbook condition they can fix with a pill then see ya!, How do all of you not give up. I have lost my friends due to depression and my husband is fed up. I have no siblings and my aging parents are 300 miles away. I have never felt so alone in my live. What happened to the upbeat, friendly person I used to be. I feel like she's gone forever. I'm on prozac now, was on effexor(what a NIGHTMARE). I try to walk everyday, gave up caffiene, eating better, what else can I do?? I seems like there is no hope. This has been going on 3 years for me and I know alot of you have suffered longer, how do you get up in the morning? What should I try next. I live in kentucky and there aren't any metropolitan areas near so I don't have access to some of the latest things offered. But I would be willing to try anywhere if there is help out there I'm missing out on. Life is passing me by. I know ony you on this board know the pain I'm feeling. sorry for the pity party but I feel like I will explode if I don't get these feelings out. thanks for listening I have no one else

I don't really have any advice to give you, as I am kind of new to all of this too.I am so sorry that you are going through this much pain, and I will pray that things work out for you. Don't give up.Have you had a complete check up? Are you taking a multivitamin? I have also found that yoga helps me to relax a little.I can certainly understand your frustration with the medical field. My daughter has heart trouble and she does have a good group of doctors, but sometimes I feel like she is just another case number and not a person.Anyway, today is not one of my greatest days either so I am not as mentally sharp as I would like to be. I just wanted you to know that I am wishing you the best.

Hi Lulu,

Please don't give up!....I am there with you.....I too, today, felt that I have tried everything and I'm still having problems and want to give up, but I know I will find what I can do to help myself.

I have spent a fortune over the last 3-4 years trying to feel better...had moments of hope and glimmers of the old me, but the old me is still gone...I want her back NOW!

I don't laugh anymore...I feel over anxious, sometimes down and old..yeh, just old...I will be 50 next December and am dreading it...just that number scares me and depresses me, as I still feel so young inside (OK, so I said I feel old...that would be when I look in the mirror!!).

I take a multitude of supplements, some have worked for a while, then stopped working.

I am going to count all the good things in my life and appreciate them...ignore the bad.

Make a list LULU.....make a good and bad list and make yourself ignore the bad and find solace in the good...well, thats a step forward anyway!

I am here...we are all here for you...sorry I can't help with the Dr. problem...I have had them myself.

Caz

Like you Lulu
before finding this forum just a few days ago, beleive me i felt like giving up bigtime,,,,,if you know
what i mean, Iv'e been suffering with depression for over 15yrs but seemed undercontrol with medication, bad days but could cope,,,,,untill about last october things seemed to take a dive did'nt
know what was wrong with me still dont, only to say after finding this forum is seems like Menopause
big time......Well story short i went to my gp last week he said it was chronic depression told me to go home become an actress put makeup on go out and smile.........Jesus they way i feel i could'nt smile if you paid me.......or for that matter go out, since last october iv'e been out about once a month just wanted to hide away an die.......anyway iv'e to go back to my GP this week and boy i'll
be ready for him to listen and get what ever bloods, tests etc needs done to get to the bottom of this
what i can only call hell of a transition in my life, and take it from there, i have family and hubby and none of them have seen me change so much with all the menopause symptoms im quite sure thats what is happening with me,but untill i get answers bloods tests done by GP i will try and stay sane as i feel like im losing it.....but please dont give up love i know easier said than done, but we are all here for eachother to help and support eachother so let your feelings GOOOOOOOOOOOO WE are here for you. Yesterday has gone tommorrow has yet to come, so live for today......no matter how you do it just live for the day we can only come through this stronger wiser and happier older women


god bless you your in my prayers.

EB xx

((((((((((Lulu))))))))))))))) I am so sorry for all that you've had to go through and for "where you're at" .. which is completely understandable. The medical profession as a whole is CLUELESS when it comes to our needs/issues/realities. PLEASE know you're not alone even though I understand feeling as you do. PLEASE keep coming back to this site -there are women here who can support you and provide good information. I don't believe there is woman here (including myself) who hasn't felt much of what you're feeling - the dispair, exhaustion, disgust, alone-ness, sadness and confusion. Just keep coming here and posting and joining the live chat when you can. I PROMISE it WILL make a difference. I'm a year post now and still having a myriad of symptoms that no one can figure out ..... without this site, I can't imagine where I'd be. Take good care. Keep posting and reading, kathleent

Oh, dont' give up. Take each day at a time. If you can write things sown, a diary sort of, then when a symptom hits, you can look back and see if you've had it before and when. It has helped me so much. Things you forget you had months ago, was checked out for and now are back, make you feel a little better knowing that's as far as it went. You may not be better but usually no worse.

I've been to the doctors so many times in the past two and a half years, tested and retested, convinced they are missing something. It is hard to believe you are ok, when you just feel lousy. I started bcp;s, not for everyone, but it gave me back my life for the most part. That and the occasional xanax, I am a little more balanced.

I hope you get some relief soon and feel better. Keep joining us here to talk. Dont' feel bad about feeling bad here either, WE've all been down that road and probably will be again.

On my worst days I have had the same thoughts.....when I say give up for me it means just curling up in a corner alone and just letting menopause do with me what it will. I have had Dr's treat me the same way, especially when it is difficult to find somethign that actually works.

I feel alone and I have family around so trust me just because you have family and friends doesn't mean they are there for you through this time...my husband is wonderful and my mother...well I have called on her many times and she has talked with me through some tough times, but I still feel alone because noone really knows or can help me. I have become very quiet, don't socilaize with my neighbors, tuck myself away when the kids and my husband comes home at times, I have also tried so many things and it is truly frustrating when they don't do much if anything. I have not really had dpression problems until now, I some days, can't believe this is going to be my life. I know people go through tough things in life, cue guilt, but this is pretty rough when you look back at your life and there is just a faint memory of who you were and no much light for who you want to be. Don't feel guilty for wishing a better life for yourself..we all do, I think it is natural. Enjoy you better days, because I am sure they are there as difficult as they may be to see....even so I know that is not much when life is flying by....we can't take away eachothers symptoms or pain but can lean on eachother without judgment when we need support. hugs mikki

Amazing how many of us there are. I am at the end of my rope and I had to take my mom to the emergency room last night for seizures. I am all she has and honestly I was crying so hard they thought I was the patient. Heck, I AM. I saw my nurse practitioner this week and I knew more than she did about the yeast problem, etc. AND I have got to go to work there starting Monday. I have to work fulltime or we are going to go under. Maybe this is where we say One Day at a Time and definitely "THE LORD WILL NOT GIVE US MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE

lgoldie, Oh man, I am so sorry about your mom!! Just what you DO NOT need right now. I hope everything turns out ok with her.

As for "giving up", you must not!! I know its so hard to struggle thru day after day after day of NOT feeling well, not feeling like yourself. But it will get better eventually. Even if you don't find the right treatment, this will pass naturally at some point. Of course it would be better to find relief now, rather than later. I hope you can find a doctor who has a clue about peri/meno and who is willing to work with you to find a plan of action to get you on the road to recovery.

In my situation, I did a great deal of research, and I approached my doctor with a plan in place. That may be the thing for you to do at this point. Read, research and learn as much as you can about your symptoms, what causes them, what might cure them. And try one thing at a time. For me it was Ativan, then an AD, then BHRT. This has given be a quality of life back I can deal with. Things aren't perfect, but at least I am a function member of society again. I never want to feel as horrible as I felt, ever again.

thanks for all the kind responses. I'm doing research but there is so much conflicting info it's hard to know what to do next. climara was a failure, as was prempro. maybe my next step should be to find a compounding pharmacy. but my insurance won't cover it and there is nothing locally. I am so anxiety ridden I can't even think. So I guess I'll sleep on it and hope tomorrow is a better day.

Igoldie, my prayers are with you. My parents are not in the best health and I know how stressful it is to take care of others when you feel bad yourself. Hope everything is OK with you Mom. I seems like everything comes at once. take care

Dear Lulu,

I'm so sorry to hear about your depression and your current lack of assistance from a doctor who seems to care. You must continue to find someone who will work with you to get to the root of your depression and other issues. I'm living in a similiar area and so I understand thoroughly how difficult it can be both with the depression and the lack of skilled medical care. I would suggest that you contact Pete at Bellevue at this site. He will do a consultation with you and there is BHRT that your insurance should cover that he can give you a prescription for, you just have to request that your doctor sign the order.

Please don't give up, find something in your life that you are grateful for and get up and remember that every day. Sometimes my days are about getting through the moments, sometimes the hours, but I try to focus on the moment and find something good that I can be thankful for at that time. Many times they are little things like cooking a meal, going for a walk, driving my dd to school, talking to my best friend on the phone, or a favorite song on the radio. Whatever it takes, hold on to that until you can get some relief. Sure it is daunting but I've got to believe that there are better days ahead, for you, for me, for all of us!


Peace and Blessings to You...

TJ

Dear Lulu,
So sorry you feel the way you do.It will get better, I promise it does. Go out and start counting nice looking old ladies...might seem odd,but there are far more of them there there are nice looking old men! We last longer! Hugs Antique X

Hello Ladies,
I'm new here, and soo feeling for you all. I can identify with the depression and the feelings of hopelesness and profound lonelyness, no matter if there's family or not.
But no one of you talks about taking St John's worth. I've suffered PMS all my adult life and started peri with it , it became so bad I got anxiety attacks and was sleepless. Also am hypothyroid and have electric buzzing and pressure in my head every third day.
Take lots of vitamins and now on natural progesterone for nearly two weeks , it makes me sleep better but today I'm feeling more depressed, so I'll take less of it (took 1/8 of a teaspoon twice a day).
St John's worth has helped me a lot with my depressive feelings, I recommend it, it takes a while until you notice effect though. I take approx. 600mg before going to bed so I don't feel groggy during the day. I live in Germany where this is official anti-depression medication and the healthinsurance pays for it. It makes a lot of difference for me.
The natural progesterone has taken the nightsweats away, so I sleep better and can cope better with the other symptoms, it's a struggle but I've got enough anger in me to not give up, although sometimes........... I don't want to wake up anymore, you know the feeling.
And there are amongst you who have younger children and/or a full time job. IMPOSSIBLE !
Thinking of you all, wishing you the best and strength.

Lulu, do not give up! I know that it is very tempting, but we all have to stick together and support one another. We just cannot give up. We must keep hanging in there. I am baffled that perimenopause has to be this devastating..... I too have been to many doctors (17 all total since Aug.08) This has been a nightmare and I do not know when it will end, but others have told me that it does level out eventually. So keep hanging on!!!

I tried the BHRT and the patches as well and cannot take any of them (they just aggravated my thyroid condition).... I cannot take the ADs either so I have to do the very best I can from day to day. Believe me I understand how you feel and what you are going through, even though we all are different.

Many hugs to you,
mood_swinger

Dear netteke'
I have actually tried St John's Wort and I gave it a good shot,almost a year.I did this after very slowly weaning off the Prozac but have to be very frank it did not do a thing for me so was obligied to go back on Prozac.
However,I am very pleased at how it is working for you.It just seems that we are all wired differently and so re-act equally differently to Herbs and Meds.

Warm Wishes
Elizabeth