Hi all~
After reading several posts I no longer feel so alone in this and have come to the conclusion that I am not in fact losing my mind as I originally thought.
I am a 40 year old divorced mother of two (15 & 10). I am currently engaged and living with my fiance and his child (5) as well as my two children. For the most part we are your typical family. My SO and I both work full-time and split the custody of our children with their other parents. We have the arrangements set up so that we have all the kids on the same weekends and none of them on opposite weekends. This works out great when planning family outtings and such.
However, this also means that I have a house full of needy people on other days. I have full accepted and embraced the role of mother, wife, care-taking and enjoyed it greatly...UNTIL...I started changing. For the past year I have become increasingly moody and unpredictable. Things that I would normally take with a grain of salt will set me off on wreath like no other. I still have enough sense about me during on of these episodes as to not do anything out of line or physically harmful to anyone. However, my attitude and mouth are another story. I have resided to keepingmy mouth shut as to not inflict unnecessary emotional wounds upon my undeserving family. Although this heightens my frustration level sometimes to the point of my leaving and going for a drive for awhile until I can regain control of myself. Well, after having this becoming increasingly more intense over the past year I have not only made an appt with my regular doctor, but a counselor as well. I have done alot of research on the net also which is how I stumbled across your wonderful site...thank you.
I have found that I fall under every symptom listed for PMDD and alot of the 34 you have listed as well.
I have been keeping a daily log of my moods and emotions and rating them on scale from 1 to 6 to log their intensity so that hopefully my Dr. will see where it peaks and levels out. I fully intend to have her check my hormone levels as well. I am still taking birth control so I'mnot sure how effective the test results will be. I had my levels checked 3 years ago when I divorced my ex husband to prove to him that he was the reason I was leaving the marriage and not some emotional or hormonal reason and my levels were fine at the time and the dr. said that my stress was due to my environment (ex hubby was not happy). Well, I really feel it's more then 'environment' now.
I feel different internally...I have hot flashes, but luckily they are currently restricted to happening that time of the month. About a week before my period comes I get increasingly moody, impatient and nasty. Everyone is stupid and in the way (my prespective). Then about the day before and first day of my period, I mellow out considerably and just get extremely tired and have no energy or interest in anything. I am currently in my second day of this cycle and the meanies and impatience is back.
I have a new or different ache and pain almost daily and then it'll go away and it'll be something new. I don't bother to complain about it or bring it up cuz I've gotten to the point of just dealing with whatever it is for the day or days until it goes away or is replaced by something new.
I have had two different friends recommend to different things they found helped greatly. One recommended SAM-e and the other uses black cohosh. I was wondering if anyone uses either of these and how they have helped if at all. I'm a little reluctant to be put on anything with hormones and would much rather go the herbal route, but I also want relief for myself and others in my life so I won't rule anything out completely.
Thank you so much for your time and your posts. It's nice to know theres others that undertand.
J
Full Version: Emotional Rollcoaster
QUOTE (unsure@40 @ Mar 4 2009, 10:14 AM) 
Hi all~
After reading several posts I no longer feel so alone in this and have come to the conclusion that I am not in fact losing my mind as I originally thought.
. For the past year I have become increasingly moody and unpredictable. Things that I would normally take with a grain of salt will set me off on wreath like no other. I still have enough sense about me during on of these episodes as to not do anything out of line or physically harmful to anyone. However, my attitude and mouth are another story. I have resided to keepingmy mouth shut as to not inflict unnecessary emotional wounds upon my undeserving family. Although this heightens my frustration level sometimes to the point of my leaving and going for a drive for awhile until I can regain control of myself. Well, after having this becoming increasingly more intense over the past year I have not only made an appt with my regular doctor, but a counselor as well. I have done alot of research on the net also which is how I stumbled across your wonderful site...thank you.
I have found that I fall under every symptom listed for PMDD and alot of the 34 you have listed as well.
I have been keeping a daily log of my moods and emotions and rating them on scale from 1 to 6 to log their intensity so that hopefully my Dr. will see where it peaks and levels out. I fully intend to have her check my hormone levels as well. I am still taking birth control so I'mnot sure how effective the test results will be. I had my levels checked 3 years ago when I divorced my ex husband to prove to him that he was the reason I was leaving the marriage and not some emotional or hormonal reason and my levels were fine at the time and the dr. said that my stress was due to my environment (ex hubby was not happy). Well, I really feel it's more then 'environment' now.
I feel different internally...I have hot flashes, but luckily they are currently restricted to happening that time of the month. About a week before my period comes I get increasingly moody, impatient and nasty. Everyone is stupid and in the way (my prespective). Then about the day before and first day of my period, I mellow out considerably and just get extremely tired and have no energy or interest in anything. I am currently in my second day of this cycle and the meanies and impatience is back.
I have a new or different ache and pain almost daily and then it'll go away and it'll be something new. I don't bother to complain about it or bring it up cuz I've gotten to the point of just dealing with whatever it is for the day or days until it goes away or is replaced by something new.
I have had two different friends recommend to different things they found helped greatly. One recommended SAM-e and the other uses black cohosh. I was wondering if anyone uses either of these and how they have helped if at all. I'm a little reluctant to be put on anything with hormones and would much rather go the herbal route, but I also want relief for myself and others in my life so I won't rule anything out completely.
Thank you so much for your time and your posts. It's nice to know theres others that undertand.
J
After reading several posts I no longer feel so alone in this and have come to the conclusion that I am not in fact losing my mind as I originally thought.
. For the past year I have become increasingly moody and unpredictable. Things that I would normally take with a grain of salt will set me off on wreath like no other. I still have enough sense about me during on of these episodes as to not do anything out of line or physically harmful to anyone. However, my attitude and mouth are another story. I have resided to keepingmy mouth shut as to not inflict unnecessary emotional wounds upon my undeserving family. Although this heightens my frustration level sometimes to the point of my leaving and going for a drive for awhile until I can regain control of myself. Well, after having this becoming increasingly more intense over the past year I have not only made an appt with my regular doctor, but a counselor as well. I have done alot of research on the net also which is how I stumbled across your wonderful site...thank you.
I have found that I fall under every symptom listed for PMDD and alot of the 34 you have listed as well.
I have been keeping a daily log of my moods and emotions and rating them on scale from 1 to 6 to log their intensity so that hopefully my Dr. will see where it peaks and levels out. I fully intend to have her check my hormone levels as well. I am still taking birth control so I'mnot sure how effective the test results will be. I had my levels checked 3 years ago when I divorced my ex husband to prove to him that he was the reason I was leaving the marriage and not some emotional or hormonal reason and my levels were fine at the time and the dr. said that my stress was due to my environment (ex hubby was not happy). Well, I really feel it's more then 'environment' now.
I feel different internally...I have hot flashes, but luckily they are currently restricted to happening that time of the month. About a week before my period comes I get increasingly moody, impatient and nasty. Everyone is stupid and in the way (my prespective). Then about the day before and first day of my period, I mellow out considerably and just get extremely tired and have no energy or interest in anything. I am currently in my second day of this cycle and the meanies and impatience is back.
I have a new or different ache and pain almost daily and then it'll go away and it'll be something new. I don't bother to complain about it or bring it up cuz I've gotten to the point of just dealing with whatever it is for the day or days until it goes away or is replaced by something new.
I have had two different friends recommend to different things they found helped greatly. One recommended SAM-e and the other uses black cohosh. I was wondering if anyone uses either of these and how they have helped if at all. I'm a little reluctant to be put on anything with hormones and would much rather go the herbal route, but I also want relief for myself and others in my life so I won't rule anything out completely.
Thank you so much for your time and your posts. It's nice to know theres others that undertand.
J
Okay so are you really me and I just don't know it. I can not believe the similarities between what you are feeling and what I have been feeling lately, right down to resarching on the net and finding this site. I am just in awe right now. Matter of fact I just found it last night.
I do need to know HOW you are able to keep your mouth shut, cause I have always had a problem with that one, but now...forget it, it is twice as hard to control myself to the point that I have heard at work I have an attitude and everyone wants to know what is up my butt (thats putting it nicely) the worse part of it is....I do have an attitude and I do have issues that normally would not bother me.
I am like you in the sense that I do not want to take any drugs, I had at one time gotten pretty up on herbs and what they can do, I have many books and took some classes, I kind of lost sight of all that but recently I started researching the natural approach once again, I have also started on Black Cohosh about 3 weeks ago and I have found that I have been feeling better, I have also started taking a vitamin for women which is also helping. There are other herbs that will help as well, raspberry leaves, chaste tree berries, are a natural source of estrogen I recently read that cinnamon bark is helpful for heavy bleeding, which I have had lately. Nettles and red clover are high in iron. I am just getting started on the natural approach and will continue this journey, because as I have said I am not comfortable with the drugs they offer.
It is nice to know there are others like us that understand.
Hi Darleen~
It is amazing isn't when you find someone that mirrors you. The post on here have eased my mind emmensely cuz for awhile there I really was starting to think I was losing it.
Ahahahaha...I know exactly where you're coming from with the attitude. It's not easy that's for sure and it takes ALOT of practice and control to keep it shut at times. As far as work, I'm very fortunate cuz I'm in a small office and get along great with the girls and the days the one girl bugs me I just block her out and ignore her altogether. At home however, is a whole nother ball game. I haven't mastered keeping my mouth shut completely yet. For instance last night, what started out as a nice calm conversation between the SO & I ended up in a heated arguement with me saying all the horrible things that were whirling around in my head. He doesn't know when to back off sometimes, even though I've explained tohim that when I clam up it's best to leave it be for awhile or he'll get hurt. So when he insists on pushing me to 'tell him how I feel' I eventually break and let it fly. then when I'm done I ask if he feels better now cuz I sure don't...I feel like the meanest most horrible person on earth cuz he won't give me the time to cool off and come back and tell him in nice terms how I feel. He is probably the one that gets the brunt of it.
Our kids have been through enough with our divorces and such that it's pretty esy for me to not go off on them with unecessary words. That doesn't mean I don't yell and get upset when they don't listen, but I watch what and how the way things come out of my mouth.
The SO & I have our first counseling session tonight so we'll see how that goes...one of the things I'm going to focus on is handling things better and I'm hoping she can give me tools and technics to do just that.
Thank you so much for the input on the natural items...I'm looking into the black cohosh now.
Btw - I don't have internet access after 4:30 so please don't think I'm ignoring your post if I don't get back to you rightr away.
Have a good day~
J
It is amazing isn't when you find someone that mirrors you. The post on here have eased my mind emmensely cuz for awhile there I really was starting to think I was losing it.
Ahahahaha...I know exactly where you're coming from with the attitude. It's not easy that's for sure and it takes ALOT of practice and control to keep it shut at times. As far as work, I'm very fortunate cuz I'm in a small office and get along great with the girls and the days the one girl bugs me I just block her out and ignore her altogether. At home however, is a whole nother ball game. I haven't mastered keeping my mouth shut completely yet. For instance last night, what started out as a nice calm conversation between the SO & I ended up in a heated arguement with me saying all the horrible things that were whirling around in my head. He doesn't know when to back off sometimes, even though I've explained tohim that when I clam up it's best to leave it be for awhile or he'll get hurt. So when he insists on pushing me to 'tell him how I feel' I eventually break and let it fly. then when I'm done I ask if he feels better now cuz I sure don't...I feel like the meanest most horrible person on earth cuz he won't give me the time to cool off and come back and tell him in nice terms how I feel. He is probably the one that gets the brunt of it.
Our kids have been through enough with our divorces and such that it's pretty esy for me to not go off on them with unecessary words. That doesn't mean I don't yell and get upset when they don't listen, but I watch what and how the way things come out of my mouth.
The SO & I have our first counseling session tonight so we'll see how that goes...one of the things I'm going to focus on is handling things better and I'm hoping she can give me tools and technics to do just that.
Thank you so much for the input on the natural items...I'm looking into the black cohosh now.
Btw - I don't have internet access after 4:30 so please don't think I'm ignoring your post if I don't get back to you rightr away.
Have a good day~
J
Unsure,
I know exactly what you mean and then just reading your post about your SO not leaving you alone and they keep pushing you to talk when you clearly don't want to drives me nuts, my husband does that to me all the time, until I like you just blow, and I start off nice too but it never ends that way.
The more I read here the more my mind goes at ease. I think I have come to realize I am really not a bitch by choice. I have good reason now to be a bitch.
I have also decided to try and just stay away and just crawl into my own little world at work. I work with 8 other women who all have different personalities and I think they are all equiped with a knife ready to stab you in the back at anytime. They are all so fake it's unbelievable, I on the other hand cannot be fake, I have always been that type if something is bothering me, get it out and move on. It's just that these days I tolerate alot less then I used to. And what comes out of this mouth is not good.
Good luck with your counseling appointment, I hope it goes well for you both and if you get any good tips, please share I need some.
I know exactly what you mean and then just reading your post about your SO not leaving you alone and they keep pushing you to talk when you clearly don't want to drives me nuts, my husband does that to me all the time, until I like you just blow, and I start off nice too but it never ends that way.
The more I read here the more my mind goes at ease. I think I have come to realize I am really not a bitch by choice. I have good reason now to be a bitch.
I have also decided to try and just stay away and just crawl into my own little world at work. I work with 8 other women who all have different personalities and I think they are all equiped with a knife ready to stab you in the back at anytime. They are all so fake it's unbelievable, I on the other hand cannot be fake, I have always been that type if something is bothering me, get it out and move on. It's just that these days I tolerate alot less then I used to. And what comes out of this mouth is not good.
Good luck with your counseling appointment, I hope it goes well for you both and if you get any good tips, please share I need some.
Hi Darleen~
Well, the counseling session went fine it was basically the intake session where you do all the paperwork and they get a history. I have an appt. scheduled one a week for the month of April and our first really counseling session will begin March 19th so I'll let ya know then.
I'm also going back on what I said about keeping my mouth shut...apparently it just cuz the pressure to build until I explode into a million hateful nasty pieces. I'm not proud to say that I lost it on the way home last night after the appt due to some 'minor' comment he made and went off like a rocket full of every little thing he's done in the past 6 months+ that has gotten under my skin. I was like a raging lunatic...I hate it!
He doesn't deserve this and neither does anyone else...I hate when I turn into that horrible person. I was NEVER like that and thought women who were were just plain crazy...now I know better. The worst part of it is not being able to control it. And I always feel so horrible afterwards that I want to crawl in a hole. I have a Dr.'s appt. in April and I can't wait cuz this is just too much for any of us to have to deal with.
I won't have internet excess over the weekend so hope all goes well for you and I'll check back on Monday. It's nice to have met you and thanx for sharing with me. We will get through this regardless of how we feel now and the other women on here have proved it to me over and over again.
Take care (((hugs)))
J
Well, the counseling session went fine it was basically the intake session where you do all the paperwork and they get a history. I have an appt. scheduled one a week for the month of April and our first really counseling session will begin March 19th so I'll let ya know then.
I'm also going back on what I said about keeping my mouth shut...apparently it just cuz the pressure to build until I explode into a million hateful nasty pieces. I'm not proud to say that I lost it on the way home last night after the appt due to some 'minor' comment he made and went off like a rocket full of every little thing he's done in the past 6 months+ that has gotten under my skin. I was like a raging lunatic...I hate it!
He doesn't deserve this and neither does anyone else...I hate when I turn into that horrible person. I was NEVER like that and thought women who were were just plain crazy...now I know better. The worst part of it is not being able to control it. And I always feel so horrible afterwards that I want to crawl in a hole. I have a Dr.'s appt. in April and I can't wait cuz this is just too much for any of us to have to deal with.
I won't have internet excess over the weekend so hope all goes well for you and I'll check back on Monday. It's nice to have met you and thanx for sharing with me. We will get through this regardless of how we feel now and the other women on here have proved it to me over and over again.
Take care (((hugs)))
J
It has been really good to have met you as well Unsure I amsure we will be seeing each other here again. You have a great weekend.
I feel the same way in the sense that My Husband does not deserve the way I sometime treat him, I really don't mean too, but it just overwhelms me to the point I have no control over what I say. I do have to admit that My grown Children do not talk with me as much as they used to! Probably because Mom has really lost her mind
Has anyone experinced this?
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