I'm so so tired of feeling like a stranger in my own skin.

All the things I used to enjoy or gave me pleasure have no effect on me lately.

My job wants us to submit our vacation requests for the upcoming season and I can't even muster up the enthusiasm to do that. I always looked forward to going to Cape Cod, but now I don't even care about going there. When I'm at work, I want to be home and even stranger---when I'm home I wish I were at work!!!!!! Who am I???

I'm doing everything I can think of to make myself feel better but it seems I keep falling short. What am I doing wrong????

Argh!!!

Okay, vent over for now......

yes you will eventually get there. Believe it or not....you will emerge one day on the other side of the tunnel. And you'll be YOU again.

(((((((Booky))))))) hang in girlfriend. From our chats, from your posts, and from how you're feeling I think you are getting close to the end. It gets darkest before the dawn!!!!

2 years ago I even left PS because I was feeling so bad. I was always pretty positive in my posts, and then found nothing to be positive about. I had nothing to contribute, and felt like I was just a big downer. I felt like someone I didn't know. I hated it. It was a very dark time.

BUT I HAVE CROSSED OVER AND SEEN THE LIGHT, BABY!!

Get enough sleep, be good to yourself, lower the bar... and soon you will just slide right under it!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

yes, worms, the sleep and being good to YOU is crucial at this time.
and that vacation...it may just be exactly what you need, though sometimes after a vacation i feel like i need another one to recover. anyhoo, get that well needed rest and be kind and gentle with yourself.
at one point, i could barely lift my legs to climb up the stairs, i'm now taking them two at a time again ...well, sometimes !
just as leanne says, if you lower the bar, you'll slide right on under it... and if you're one of the really fortunate ones, you'll hurdle it !

we're with you worms...you'll do just fine!!!
xOxOxO
(((angel)))

great post....

I must say booky that a little trip might make you feel alive again...it certainly has helped me....as long as its a real holiday and not visiting relatives (as I have found out drains me after spending 24/7 with my family!)

Go enjoy yourself....lower that bar and limbo baby!

Caz

You haven't seen my stomach and hips, have you?

Gee, Booky, could be I have them, cuz my stomach and hips are twice the size they used to be!!! haha!!

leanne,

it is good to hear from someone who has been at this for a long time...I also left for a while because I had nothing good to say...just struggling ...every day struggling...it has been 15 years....

so it is good to hear that it does get better...the body does begin to balance out the hormones eventually, the energy does return...I am not there yet..but also not as bad as I was in those horrible days of excruciating anxiety and panic attacks...

am I hearing you right? your anxiety is better? hot flashes gone? how long did all that take from beginning to now?

I'm afraid to say how long because I don't want to discourage anyone, but since you asked... 15 years, but there were about 5 that were brutal. I RARELY get anxiety now. No hot flashes unless I eat sugary foods, or drink alcohol. Don't get me wrong... I'm not the fresh faced, sexed up, tight skinned, no wrinkles 25 year old!! But I feel good most days, and happy to wake up in the morning. I feel srong, and smart. I feel like I stood on the beach and this huge wave came over me and my life, and then after a long time, the water receded. So I'm a bit water logged a lot weathered... but standing tall in the sun!!

Sounds corny I know.. but that's how I feel.

My dear little 'Bookworm'

Yes there is definitely a light at the end of this tunnel and you won't be flashing like a torch to lead the way out!

Take the trip even if you do not really wish to go because honestly some away time does really help.

You are doing nothing wrong,honey,but trying as best you can to deal with all the angst caused by the Menopause.

My friend is 57 like me and she still has a fairly hard time,I must be truthful but she did say that acupuncture has helped.Me? am still on HRT-to the great annoyance of my Gyno.-but still have very odd moments.After all we are still in transition from one stage of life to another so it does take a lot of adjustment.

I really wish you well!

Warm Wishes
Elizabeth

Bookworm.......I could have written your post..........I also have to have vacation request in (by march 1).......and cant figure out what to do.........I aslo go to Cape Cod but cant even think about vacation right now!.......I had been feeling good for a few months and now its back (the blahs and anxiety)....and I also feel like you about being at wishing I was home and being home wishing I was at work!........I use to do a lot of crafts and read a lot but now cant get into anything......maybe its just the weather and soon Spring will be here and we will feel better!.......I wish there was some advise I could give you but I have none at this point except just hang in there and anytime you would like to talk I will be here to listen..........Valerie

Amen to that lovely "corny" post (((Leanne)))
Could be me!
Dear (((Bookworm))) - courage, you'll come out of this tunnel and find yourself dancing in the sun again!!
Now if that isn't corny...
Hugs, Jonie

I can't wait to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am tired of the anxiety, panic attacks, fears. The not knowing what is happening is the worst!! I am in menopause for about 3 years now. I had been fine for the last year and one-half. I also have hypothyroidism and I don't know if my symptoms are from too much Synthroid in my system or from menopause. I will be going for a blood test this week to find out. This morning after my son left for school and my husband left for work I broke down and sobbed so hard. I don't understand what is happening. I keep thinking the worst that everyone is going to be gone and I will be all alone. Yet, nothing has happened to make me feel this way. My aunt that I loved died almost a year ago and I have been reminiscing about her and the great times we had when I was young. The grief hurts worse than it did a year ago. I know she is in a better place and not suffering. Every little pain I have makes me think I am dying. What is going on with me?

Angels,
Please don't despair, there is an answer for you.

I have hashimoto's and am hypoT. I've researched this thoroughly, and learned a lot from others on thyroid groups that have had to become experts in order to feel better.

One thing that seems generally agreed upon is two things:

1. Most women on Synthroid or any synthetic T4-only med still do not feel well.

2. Many docs don't do the right tests and/or don't interpret the tests correctly

If you are still feeling poorly, you need to have free T3 and free T4 levels drawn. These are a measure of the actual amount of usable thyroid hormone. And then you can still be hypo even if your levels fall in the 'normal' range if they are not near the top of the range.

You also need the thyroid antibody tests to see if you have Hashimoto's, since that changes the whole picture and TSH cannot be relied upon as an accurate indicator of thyroid function.

Most people feel better with T3 in addition to T4. Many of us do not convert the T4 to the active form of T3, so taking only T4 just compounds a lack of T3. Armour, NatureThroid, and other dessicated porcine thyroid meds are the whole gland and most women feel far better using one of them.

Dear'Angels'

So sorry you are going through difficult times.Have been there and honestly it does get better with time.Am sorry to about your Aunt as you were obviously very close.

Hopefully,the results of your Tests will hold the answers and you can get the right medication to help you feel better.those panic attacks,fears and phobias are the pits.I was terrified of getting into an elevator for a long time and then I was scared to drive but also too scared to be a passenger.What a mess.A small dose of Xanax did help.

Keep us posted
Hope all will be well
Elizabeth

Thank you for the information. You are the best!! I have an appointment to see my doctor next week. My blood work showed my TSH at 3.0 and my T4 at 12.2. I have reduced my Synthroid to half (with my doctor's O.K.) and do feel much better (No more palpitations or anxiety attacks). I am baffled though since my TSH is within the normal range. Is the T4 number high? I also will look into my T3 and taking Armour to get T4 and T3 together. Why did I do well for about 2 years on the Synthroid and now am having issues?

Your TSH is at the limit of the high end of the new range recommended by the AACE (0.3-3). Doctors that have a thorough understanding of the thyroid feel that anything over 2 can cause symptoms.

Be sure to ask for *free* levels of T4 and especially T3. The free portion is the active, usable part. And do get the antibodies tested.

Yes, your T4 was high. And many women do find they initially do well on T4-only meds, but as time goes on, if they have a problem converting the T4 to T3, that is when the adverse symptoms start cropping up.