I really think the real issue for me is accepting that I have been in the throws of peri since I was in my mid thirties and I feel like it has stolen my life ! I just keep wondering ........... I am 40 now .will this get worse ? am I through the worst of it ? If it gets worse how will I handle it ? It's the unknown that scares me the most. I have been through all kinds of hell with doctors , no faith in any of them anymore. The one thing that has helped me survive in Jesus and my family. My husband is incredible and has educated himself about the whole subject of peri & meno. He is a saint. My sons know more than most teens about it because we openly discuss it to help them understand why I am the way I am. I pray they will be great support to their future wives because of what I have taught them. I have not skipped any periods yet but they are much much lighter and shorter. Please tell me it might be over soon ? Does it get worse ? The unknown haunts me and my thoughts.


Wendy

Hang in there sister I have also been in peri/meno since the age of 38 and Soon I will be 42 and like you the unknown "Scares Me' But I'm kind of learning to take one day at a time, My periods from time to time are all over the map & the Anxiety has been horrible but I'm Controlling that with Medication, Breathing Exercises and Meditation. And like you I have had a very hard time Excepting this, But it's a natural part of life for us females, Not saying its fun, But Acceptance is a Big Part of the battle... If I can be of any help to you, please feel free to send me a private message, and know your not alone my friend, many of us women are in the same boat as you and were here to give each other support and encouragement.

Hugs
sdblue

This transition is different for every woman. I started at about 38 and the last period I had was in September 2007, I'll be 50 in October. The last period was the worse and I call it the last hurrah. Even after my periods stopped I had hot flashes, mood swings, libido skyrocketed. The past few months, I have mellowed out completely and hot flashes have been quiet. Once in a while I get extremely angry/cranky, but passes.

You need to figure that it will take you about 10 years on average to get through the process. That said, who knows, the next period may be your last. I have friends who stopped like a spigot was turned off with no symptoms at all and others who suffered the entire time. Be kind to yourself physically and mentally. Keep your life as stress-free as possible. Be sure to sprinkle a lot of humor into your life and have a support system of women who understand and are willing to listen and discuss what you're going through and can relate.

Thank you so much. This is the site where I can connect and get support. I don't have any other friend that will "talk or admit" to even going through peri. Many o them say they are not going to go through it and just ignore everything. I feel better when I can unload and just vent with others who walk and have walked in my shoes. God Bless you All ! I am a Christian and it is hard to get any Christian I know to admit they are having a problem like peri M. Are there any other sisters in Christ out there ?


wendy

I am 41 and in the same position you all are. I experienced eczema, horrible pms symptoms and insomnia right after my 3rd child was born when I was 35. I recall it was right after I stopped nursing him when it all began. I am trying to educate my kids (who are 14 & 12) about what I'm going through but it's hard when a 6 year old says, "Mommy, you used to be happy." I can't believe I waited 6 years to see a doctor about my hormone issues. I too have talked to a couple of my 40+ year old friends who seem to ignore the subject, or pretend it's not happening to them. I want to believe that this is not the end of our journey. We have so much to look forward to and with the strength and support from God, our family and all of us here, we can get through it.

It is important to connect with others who are going through the same pain. My trouble started out of the blue when my sons were 11 & 9. I suffered for 2 years without real answers from doctors. My sons are very aware of what I am going through and we talk about it as a family. My husbands believes they will be better husbands in the future becasue of watching me and gaining the knowledge from my experiences. I have spent countless months feeling guilty for what they have had to endure with me. My husband keeps reminding me it only makes them stronger and they are fantastic teenagers ( 16 & 14 ). We are super clos and they still love spending time with me and their dad. Just keep reminding your kids hoe much you love them and be honest with them about what is going on with you. Kids are very smart and can understand more than we think. When I havd a good deay we make the most of it. Hang in there. Feel free to e-mail me anytime. We must stick together

Wendy- Ohio

I want answers to all those questions too.

hang in there

You're much further along than I was at 40 (I'm 49) in understanding peri and menopause. Bravo for your husband and sons being informed too. I think the more you know about what's going on, the more you can take some control and help yourself. Some of it you can't control, but you will learn so much about yourself during your 40's - a time for real growth (some painful and some of it so liberating it will blow your mind in a great and powerful way!)

Dear Wendy

Although I am now 57 I was fully Menopausal at 39 and frankly it was like having a nervous breskdown.I went from a bubbly,happy person to a quivering jelly almost overnight.I could not eat,or sleep and the dpression was awful.There was no one to talk to.My daughter really saw me through.She would sit next to me feeding with a small spoon like a child

Eventually I went o see a Psychiatrist as was having suicidal thoughts.He put me on Prozac.It helped but my final breakthrough came when it was discovered at my annual Gyno. check up that I was Menopausal.I was put onto HRT.After that I saw a great deal of improvement.

I am a Christian and a believer and know that my nighly prayers see me through a lot.I have a Christian friend and eventually she did confide in me that she too had gone through Menopausal Hell

I really do not understand why it is such a taboo but as you say most women want to avoid this topic maybe believing it leaves them immune
Sad
God Bless
Elizabeth

Wow Elizabeth I love your posts! I think acceptance on a certain level is important and so is living in the moment and that has been the key to getting me through all these past couple of months! If I look too much into the future it is daunting, and when I look to the past it is useless because I am here now. Lately I've been reading Eckart Tolle and taking some of his online courses and they have given me some peace! I'm a Christian too and although I pray and all I still was not finding peace!

My dd has seen me too through many a bad day and sometimes I feel guilty about that become in some ways I think she has taken on the role of caregiver or at least worrying at lot. I pray every day that she will be okay and we talk about peri and meno and hormones more than she wants to lol ...but at least she will be informed!


TJ