I literally have a panic attack at the thought of a mammogram. This started after my last mammo 2 years ago -- I went in for a routine mammo, didn't think anything of it, 3 weeks came and went and I thought "oh good, I guess its A-OK", well just as I was thinking that I get a phone call that they had been trying to get a hold of me (dialed the wrong number turns out) and that I needed further testing...I literally felt my stomach drop and I went into freak out mode... (ps my mother died of breast cancer at 63, but, was mentally ill and probably never had any kind of screening) I had just gotten married to a great guy. My whole life previous to that from childhood on was not the best..I felt like a cruel joke was being played on me. I went to such a dark place inside and couldn't shake it. I had a great radiologist whom I called several times, who reassured me it was probably nothing, he had almost passed it over. However, to be on the safe side just come in for the ultrasound to make sure, nothing he said would sink in, I only saw the worst possible outcome. Long story short, it all came out okay, just cysts. However, since then I have been terrified to have another mammo. I finally went in today and was trembling and panicky. It feels so ridiculous to feel this way. I took 2 xanax's today and didn't go into work, ended up sleeping the day away. I am trying so hard to gain some equalibrium here and not be so irrational. But, I have such a fear of dying and illness and I can't shake it. I feel like the biggest baby and extremely foolish. Yet, if I let go of this fear and do hold onto it, if I relax and just think everything will be okay, I am sure I will be blindsided, it's like I have to hold a vigil to this fear so that in some wierd way I am protected, but, then I think but maybe subconsciencely I know something...OMG...I can't take this obsessive thinking. However, short of popping xanax's every 4 hours I don't know what to do. Anyone else feel like this. Any wise words of comfort would be sooooo appreciated.

Thanks so much!!
Mich

I have no wise words for you...just a ((((BIG HUG))))

Same thing happened to me except I received a certified letter on a Friday!
I really gave them H*ll for doing that! They said I had not given permission to leave a message on my phone.
Well after that mammogram I had one every 6 months for two years. I quit going and it has been 2 years, so I’m over due.

I'm sending a big hug your way. Whenever I feel like you do, I tell myself "Don't worry until you are given something to worry about". I think for you, you need to have a few good mammo experiences after the last bad one before your fear will begin to subside. Needless worry wastes immense energy and time, and puts strain on your body as a whole. Try to get some exercise and occupy your mind with other things when you can.

Thank you. Yes, I think you are right, a few good ones would help immensely. I am thoroughly irrational when it comes to mammo's. I guess this is what they call health anxiety. My husband doesn't know what to do with me, he tries his best though and I love him for it. Well, I know I did the right thing as had the mammo, it would have been even more foolish not to. God forbid, I had something percolating and I let it simmer in there and didn't have a mammo. I know that treatments are much better these days and early detection is the best safeguard. I do have to stop worrying about things until I have something to worry about (but let's hope I don't, lol). Ok, I guess I am having a moment of rationality, we'll see how long that lasts, lol.

Thanks to all that responded and for the hugs.

Mich

Thanks for the hug. I am popping a Xanax as I write this...lol...I don't care...if it helps I'm doing it.

Sometimes I really wonder what these people are thinking...it's enough to put me off testing of any kind, which I know is not the smart route to take. I have a co worker who is 59 and has never had a mammogram and hasn't had a physical in 10 years. That doesn't sound smart but in the same token, I'm kinda leaning toward that, lol.... she is living in lala land but that sounds infinitely better than the insanity I am putting myself through right now. OMG I feel like an idiot.

HI I NEVER FEAR MAMMOGRAMS AND I PROBABLY SHOULD CAUSE MY MOM HAD A BREAST REMOVED DUE TO CANCER AND MY AUNT DIED FROM IT. IN 1996 HAD A BREAST BIOSPY DONE ON BOTH BREAST ENDED UP BEING CALCIUM DEPOSITS. I JUST DON'T FEAR THEM CAUSE I KNOW IF THEY CATCH IT EARLY IT CAN BE TAKEN CARE OF. DON'T TAKE ME WRONG I ALWAYS GET A BIT NERVOUS THINKING ABOUT GETING BREAST CANCER, I TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT TILL THERE IS OSMTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. BEST OF LUCK TERRY

I had my first Mammo back in October and they found a 8mm rounded edged 'probably benign' mass...told me to come back in 6 months....after crushing me about 10 times in all - couldn't get a good enough picture - ALL THAT RADIATION COULD END UP GIVING ME CANCER!...It has scarred me mentally as they were less than pleasant and rude and I was so distressed, that I have decided I will NEVER have a mammogram again.....

There are alternatives, and I will go for a 'Breast Thermography' for my follow up, which is much better at detecting very early breast cancer, and I really don't care that I have to pay for it (about $200).....

Its probably too late for you to change your appt, but if I were you I would go for a 'Thermographic' type testing next time.....they usually have the results pretty quick too.

Good luck Mich!

caz

Big Hug from me too Michu - I am the same - I even fear Pap Smears for the same reason.

You are all my peeps, lol.... I'm never having another one again, if this one comes back good, lol. I may try the Thermographic one in the future. Also, I have moderately dense breasts, so that always makes it fun. I agree about the radiation I just read something to the effect that over a 10 year period of Mammos you can increase your chances 1%, doesn't seem like much, but, any increase is not a good one in my opinion. I am acting irrationally and I know it. I really think this is a minor mental illness, I swear, or peri meno related, I was never ever this crazy. In all other areas I am fairly reasonable, health issues on the other hand have me all over the place emotionally. Thanks all for the comfort. I already had the mammo yesterday, so now it is just count down time, they say I should get a letter within 3 weeks, ughhhh, good god, three weeks. I suppose I will be enjoying my Xanax until then, lol.

I Had a recall letter two weks after my mammogram, yes the fear is a terrable thing to go through, the nurse asked me at the breast screen centre weather I had any symptoms, " No only after I recieved your letter." While I was waiting along with other nervous women, we began to chat . The nerves began to subside. I was called in for the ulra sond to be imformed that I had four cists in the left breast, and there was nothing to worry about. We all go through fear. We all go through the discomfort of having mammograms / ultrasounds and pap smears and early detection leads to an earlier cure.

Best Wishes to you
Gizzie

Update: Finally today and after nearly running out of Xanax I finally got my results and all is good. (Insert deep sigh of relief here).... This for me was far too much anxiety. Next mammo I will pay out of my pocket and go to a breast center where I get instant results. Thanks for the support from all who responded.

Dear'michuganna'

Than God for the good results.Can only imagine how relieved you must feel.Now go and have a nice day out and treat yourself to something pretty!

God Bless
Elizabeth