My wife surprised me this morning by realizing that what she had said the night before was wrong and mean. I had made plans with one of the twins to go and do something we have never done before which is a winter fishing activity. I told her that we were going after school gets out early and that we may be gone until dinner time. What she said that was mean was asking me/us to stay away longer because she wanted to be alone in the house which she never gets. Again that strange want to be alone thing. I told her since we have never done this thing before I really did not know how long we would be away. At that point she got angry and said to find anything to do to stay away. I said we would do the best we could but I was not willing to drive around to kill time or sit in a restaurant either. She went into how she never has time in the house alone and that I have time alone and it is not fair. Well this morning she surprised me and admitted that what she had said was mean and wrong. I thanked her and said that the boys and I would be willing to do some things together to give her the house alone. Now I just have to come up with some ideas that they will be willing to do and that doesn’t cost to much.
The other thing is that for the second time in a couple of months she has showed no interest in a newborn child of a family member. 2 relatives have had babies recently and in the past she would be itching to go over and see the babies and she has in the past always enjoyed other people’s infants, including strangers, and always wanted to hold them. She apparently has lost that urge and even said that she doesn’t like babies. Wow! You want to talk about a HUGH change. I hope that when it comes time that we become grand parents that this will swing back the other way. She has always talked about helping with grand kids but if this stays the same, I don’t know. Very strange indeed.
Have others experienced this change?
Thanks Devoted.

I truely believe that meno can mess with your maternal feeling. My feelings are not gone just...numbed for the time being. Babies are supposed to bring joy but if you can not FEEL joy why partake in the event ie, seeing new babies? It may hurt her to know she will be having no more babies of her own. I think the power go being a granparent prevails in the end and she will be fine by then. Give her credit and love for admitting she was wrong and TELL HER SO! That is a big step for her yet she did it. Baby steps are sometimes all we have for the moment to offer so celebrate them when you see them. The "alone" time is crucial to us right now. It helps us reconnect with our innerselves, something that gets harder and harder to do. Keep loving and listening...sounds like your wife is recognizing some things!

I can relate to the baby thing. I've always loved holding babies and would be drawn to the cute, fat ones I'd see in the store or at church, but really any of them.

At my worst a year ago, everything was irritating me, and I could not stand small children or babies around me. I found them extremely irritating and annoying. At church I could barely sit through the service and would get so upset with parents with little ones who would let them scream rather than take them out, or let them walk around bothering everybody. It was really a problem, as I didn't feel very loving or Christian having those hard feelings.

But I'm getting over that now and while I still think it's rude that parents allow their children to disrupt church services, I am able to some extent to ignore it and don't get all upset about it. But I do feel bad for those who are conducting the service as it is quite distracting.

So I would bet eventually she will come out of this and again love to hold babies.

And that is a great thing that she was able to see her behavior was a bit much and could apologize for it.

I wanted to add that I now love holding babies again!