I feel I have cried wolf so many times even I will not know when a scary symptom is real!

Can begin to count the ER visits or trips to specialist over the last 6 years. In 2008 I force myself to stay away from doctors.

Today as I set here with internal tremors and my right arm hurting then a sharp pain in my head> I feel myself becoming frighten as my mind wonders.
Yes I’m playing the (what if) game!

My husband just got home from work and sometimes my best cure is just a drive, maybe he will take me out!

the "what if" game is the worst thing of all....and it's hard to try and ignore all the crazy symptoms....

I realized just how "crazy" i have become when i had a dream that i got shot in the back and got up out of bed and got dressed and fixed my hair...i was gonna go to urgent care to make sure i was ok.....had to convince myself it was just a dream and calm down....

I know how you feel! It is so scary sometimes huh? I've gotten to the point I ignore most of it unless I feel it is a real threat. No easy feat for some of the symptoms either! I feel like a hypochondriac most days but manage to keep my big mouth shut about it and just deal with it. Sad I can't share how I really feel. Sometimes all I need is a little understanding to feel better.

I echo what everyone has to say here. I too have been feeling weird today, don't know any other way to describe it. Head feels full, off balance but not really feeling, cramps like I'm going to start my period, knees shaking......all this and I'm on birth control and my "period" isn't due until January 19th!!!!
I try not to talk about it much, but that leaves me to "think" and we all know how and where our minds travel.

The easiest thing to do is first take a deep breath, and let it float past......then try notto apply that secondary fear of "oh my God something is really wrong THIS time!!". From claire weekes.
Easier said than done.......I surely know.

Let time pass, I talk to my husband who is a saint for putting up with me sometimes. He usually reminds me of all the hormonal components going on as he seen it all come and go many times. I also use a calcium/magnesium supplement to calm down and a cup of Tension Tamer tea!!!!

Take care, you will be fine and will pass!!!!

I am trying to resort to not giving a dam* about whether it is a real illness or make believe one. I am trying to get a grip on if I am dying of something, it is just going to happen and what will I know about when it does. The whole trying to weigh out whether I am having anxiety or a heart attack/stroke, makes me feel even worse so why bother.

Had a terrible bout of heat, numbness, tingling, giddiness all over last night. It kept going from about 11:30 to 3 am. I finally let it get so bad that I took a whole darn xanax, not my usual 1/4th a tablet. I went to my bed sobbing and hugged my husband who then woke up and comforted me. It was the realization that I am so sick of this and just want to feel normal, that made me lose it in sobs. I am not a crying kind of gal but last night was the last straw for me!

Going to see a new Doctor on Friday, that sounds as though he is very educated and keeps up with the latest hormone studies and treatments. I am going to grip on to that he can FIX me until then and pray for the best until he gives me some kind of a miracle drug!

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Davinci*

Please let us know how you get on with your new Doctor.

Jazz

Will do, his receptionist told me that they treat patients from all over the country. I will share any positive experiences, so maybe other sisters can find a good Doctor too!

(((Snow)))

I really don't have any advice to offer because that's one game that I know all too well (and play much too often). Any strange feeling, ache, pain, sensation, anything at all, means a terminal diagnosis. My husband continuously tells me...."honey, just like every time before, it's nothing". My reply to him is......"no, seriously, this time it's really something!".


DaVincci, the anxiety and heart attack game, I specialize in that one. I tell myself that this is it, this is the real deal but nobody will believe me because they think I'm crying wolf. The head games are the worst of it. I've been through CBT and counseling, I got nothing out of it.

So, 2009 doesn't appear to be getting off to an easy start as I had hoped. I hope we can all find some relief, in one more or another, sooner rather then later

Hugs,
Karen

Maybe people have mentioned this, but I've been reading books by Claire Weekes -- "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" and "Peace from nervous Suffering." I find that she describes the circular trap of symptom obsession quite accurately. She's very reassuring and helpful.

Best,
Missy

Hi girls,
I have been in the same place so many times. Just check my older posts. Even just a few weeks ago. i always jump to the worst possible thing. I don't know why my mind goes to that place. Some days are better than others, when I can think logically, but some days (most actually) I am in the disaster mode. I have tried to read Claires book, and try xanax, etc., but somedays it just doesn't do it. I really believe hormones playa huge role in this. I was always a worrier, but never this bad until peri hit two years ago. coming here and talking and reading seems to be the best for me. I wish we all find some peace of mind this year.

Does anybody feel like quality of life right now is worth the risk later? For instance taking meds to feel good or sleep. I'm the biggest worrier and I want to feel good now. I'm tired of laying on the couch feeling like crap. I freak out going to the grocery store. I NEED xanax to get through the day and Ambien to sleep. I'm not saying I want to be addicted to drugs but each day that goes by I want to live and be me. Anbody feel the same way?
Char

Yup that is why I am going to look into biodenticals. I know the risks, and I am okay with that. Rather take the risks than to scare my husband away or make my children hate me.

Hey there,
I can be the queen terrifying health anxiety. I have been so bad that I don't even recognize myself. It started getting really bad when my periods stopped. Not only my own health, but the health of my kids.....headaches must be a brain tumor or meningitis (have them look into the light.....does your neck hurt???), chest cold must be TB. It was ridiculous for a while.
But, I have to say that I am much better, much more rational and able to calm myself since starting estrogen. It has really made a world of difference.
I wish you luck in your investigation of Bios....they can make such a difference to your emotional state of mind.

Cathy

i never felt "health phobia" until i turned the good old 50 years old and post meno, drenching night sweats, loss of libido, ect........also, my parents are in there 80's and in very bad health, i'm their basic care taker, that really made me aware of every little thing going on within me.
again, when my palms turned deep red, i got on it and found out things i did not want to hear, kept obsessing and crying, the heart palps got worse, my pulse usually goes up to 109 and that is with a pill i take, propanolol....yes, i'm quite afraid also, maybe all for nothing, or something.
i heard on one show....oprah, that we have to have 9 different hormones checked! what???? i thought different, yet, this is from a top notch doc. weird, eh?